Hello everyone! It has been a sad week with the murders of the little children and teachers in Connecticut. Something went terribly wrong.  Especially at this time of year, when we are 'supposed' to be filled with joy, love and good tidings toward all. Instead, it made me think how very little we know about what is in our own.....or our loved ones future on any given day.

It also brought me back to the day my own children were taken from me. They were older (17 and 22)....but your children will always be your babies....no matter how old they are. I can remember the shock and deep, agonizing pain I felt the moment I heard they were gone. To a parent, there is nothing in the world and no other pain that can match that helpless and nauseating feeling. Every memory of every event or occasion that you ever shared together comes flooding back to you in an instant. It  must be likened to the way we are told our own life comes back to us when we die.  And while you are remembering.....there is a mix of pure joy from the memories....and a deep stabbing in your heart at the same time... at the realization that you will never share new memories with them again.

As I watched the unfolding of this terrible sadness....I heard people saying things like....what must these parents be feeling? I do know what these families are feeling.  And I feel deeply for the families that are facing that pain right now. If they are like I was....they are still in a state of shock. The shock  and numbness you feel is [thankfully] with you all the while you are making decisions like; choosing their coffins.....the clothing they will wear in that coffin....the details you want at the funeral home.....choosing the flowers you want on their coffins.  Then you look for pictures that you will share (in my case, it was for the newspaper so they could report the accident). Then you are inundated with telephone calls by friends and family who just want to tell you they are thinking of you....but all you really want to do is roll up in a ball and make it go away. But it doesn't go away. It really never fully goes away. But you learn to 'live with it' and try not to let their passing define you in a way that is not honoring their memory. You try to not be bitter....or mad.....or not go on with your own life. But it is a process....and these parents have a long way to go before they get to the other side of this nightmare.



There are no answers either but you do look and look for an answer. I searched different churches, synagogues.....anywhere I thought would 'give me THE answer' I was looking for. For me, I found that we won't ultimately 'know' the answer....until we meet with our loved ones again some day.

There is no escaping or no guarantees that something horrid won't happen in your lifetime either. We all have the false belief that,  'It can't happen to us...not in our town....not to us or our children.'. But it CAN happen. Any where...any town....to any one. But to live in fear that it might happen....is to give up the time and the precious days we DO have with our loved ones. If anything good ever can come out of such pain and suffering....it is that we are jolted into remembering just how much our loved ones DO mean to us. It makes us hug them a little longer.....tell them how much they do mean to us....and it makes us appreciate and be grateful for another day we get to be with them.

So, tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Do it every day....because tomorrow is not promised to us. Live today. Live in the NOW! Now is all we are completely sure of. You can do it. Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs and Mush and lots of Love, Gommy