Gommy has had the pleasure the last few days to take care of two of her grandchildren. They are; Samantha age 2 3/4 and Brandon 5 months. As a mommy, I remember these times but in a very different way. When you are the mommy, you are responsible for them totally and in every way. Gommy is just responsible for them and their safety for two and a half days......Two and a half glorious, wonderful and fun filled days. Everything they say and do is just so precious to Gommy. I can remember as a Mommy that I didn't think everything my kids did was so precious. Yes, I enjoyed them and loved them beyond words, but when you are THE mommy, every day life comes into play and you sometimes don't have the luxury to just sit around and marvel at what miracles the children are. There is laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, taking them to sports or dance or picking them up from school. Gommy can just be with them and get all their 'sugar' (that's Southern slang for kisses).
I have heard the saying that you should have your grandchildren first so you could enjoy your own children more. Now that idea is probably going to be stolen from Gommy too. For years Gommy has said that we should be born old and become younger each day so we would be more appreciative of the aches and pains disappearing and a wrinkle that is not there one morning when you are looking at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth, or the stamina that you regain each day...... Does the movie 'Benjamin Button" ring a bell?????Oh well, what I meant about having grandchildren first is that they are pure joy. No, they are pure bliss. I am writing this right now while Brandon is making the most adorable baby-cooing talk sounds and it is making my heart melt. I don't think he could be having as much fun making those sounds as I am listening to them. Earlier, before lunch and naptime for Samantha, we swam in her pool and just giggled, laughed and splashed and made wonderful memories. At lunch, there was some spinach in her noodles and when she said she didn't like spinach, I told her about "Popeye the Sailor Man". I taught her the song and when she started singing it, I knew I had to show her a Popeye cartoon on YouTube....she loved it. Even though it was grainy and hokey. Not like the slick cartoons she is used to.....but she loved it just the same. She and Gommy shared a piece of history today.
What I want to say to Mommies out there on a more serious note though is that some day your little ones will grow up and leave the nest. That is the way it is supposed to be. But in the mean time, make sure you are making a life for yourself as well and that you are staying close to your husband in ways that will assure there is still a 'couple' left when the kids are gone.
I have a glorious relationship with my daughter Tracey. I think that is so precisely because I try not to MOTHER her. Yes, I am still her mother, but my job of 'mothering' is finished. We moms must let our children make their own decisions and mistakes. Gommy isn't saying I don't still worry like a mom or occasionally tell Trace to be careful, etc. - but Gommy really does TRY not to give advice unless it is ASKED for....and even then, Gommy has learned to 'use a filter' when answering because as I have said before, most people don't want your advice, they usually want someone to agree with them and your children aren't any different.
Moms that have the hardest time with the 'empty nest syndrome' are the ones that don't have any other identity except as a 'mother'. Believe Gommy when I tell you, you will have a much happier relationship with your kids if you just keep your opinions to yourself and mind your own business and let your kids mind theirs. .....It will be much appreciated and your kids might even like to have you around a little more. Gommy has to say a big thank you to Grandpa Mike for helping too. He was very gracious about just packing up and moving in for the days we were needed to be with the grands. I thank God every day that Grandpa Mike and Gommy kept the 'couple' alive in our relationship so we still have each other now that our children have flown the coop. Good luck all you comrades out there.....let Gommy know how it is all working out for you!
