I was listening to a lecture by Brene' Brown who spoke about having the courage to be imperfect. Most of us are afraid to let the 'real' us be exposed. We often hear how someone says they had a good experience with someone because they were real, i.e. not phoney. This is because it allows the people we interact with, to be comfortable that we aren't just promoting ourselves with some hidden agenda. And when we are not being our authentic self...being fake promotes our insecurities and feelings of not being worthy.
When we are afraid of letting others know who we are....we put a shield or a facade up that we think will be more acceptable. We are afraid of being vulnerable. But being imperfect and vulnerable is what makes us most endearing to other people. They feel they can let their guard down more with a 'real' person.
I started writing this blog yesterday and planned on finishing up today. It's funny how the Universe/God brings to us what we need in our lives. It is like the Proverb another Facebook friend posted as her status today: "The LORD directs our steps, so how then can we understand everything along the way?". This must be true, because through the years, I have found answers to many questions that I was struggling with, just by asking and then receiving these answers. And when I did get the answer...it unfolded the way it was supposed to unfold for my best results.
Part of the unfolding of this blog today was in something that happened with my granddaughter Samantha the other night. We were having Chinese food for supper and her 'fortune' from her cookie said...."A donkey in a silk dress...is still a donkey." She asked her- ahem......'above average and intelligent Gommy' what that meant. Oh boy...when the little ones ask questions...you have to think fast on your feet. So Gommy explained that it meant that we aren't supposed to act differently than what we really are because then we wouldn't be honest with ourselves or with others. That no matter what you dress up the donkey in......they are still a donkey. It's not the dress....it is what the donkey is, does and how it behaves that matters. Whew....that was a close one!
Another Facebook friend thanked me today for sharing another FB friend's posting on a thought about shame and guilt. She said it came to her just at the time she needed it most. Coincidence? I think not. What do they say about coincidence? It's God's way of staying anonymous. The notion about shame and guilt is that, surprisingly, guilt is ok. Shame is NOT ok. Why? Because guilt just says that what we DID was not ok...whereas shame says we ARE bad. Big difference there. We should feel guilty if we have done something unacceptable....but it is only shameful if we continually do bad things and have no remorse about our actions.
Back to the damages that feeling unworthy creates.... Gary Zukav says that insecurity, unworthiness and lack of self-esteem is the core experience of 'powerlessness'. When we feel powerless, our monkey-talk keeps telling us that we don't matter.....that we aren't good enough...that we may be rejected by others if they find out who the 'real' us really is....that there is nothing we can do about our lot in life. But the reality is that we are just as whole and perfect as we were created. God doesn't make junk! And He also doesn't make mistakes. The Universe is too complicated to have even one slip up. So, we can rest assured that we are worthy....that we do matter and that we can make our lives better by starting to believe that we have these good qualities.
Eckhart Tolle says our 'pain body' ( the monkey-talk or mental noise we have told ourselves.... about ourselves over the years.... i.e. our baggage) is very seductive in making us believe negative things about ourselves and is the cause of our suffering. If we just remain real and be ourselves...we don't have the fear of being 'found out'.
So, all my little peeps....give yourself a break. We all make mistakes and just remember that being vulnerable is not a bad thing to be. And never let the poo-poo heads of the world make you try to be something you aren't. Remember....it is better to be a real somebody than a fake nobody. Work on being your authentic self. The more you show your real self....the less you have to keep all the fake balls up in the air....and the less stress you will have about being exposed. You can do it boys and girls. Gommy is pulling for ya' - Hugs & Mush, Gommy
