Today is seventeen years since my beautiful Terry Alan Pribisco and Tiffany Ann Pribisco were taken from us in a car accident. The loss is too profound to try to explain in words, so as their mother, if you will allow me, I will merely share some wonderful memories I have of them and of our brief, but awesome time together.
Terry was my first-born and a very social and busy boy. He even started walking early (around ten-months old) and he never slowed down after that. Gommy was a young mom in today's estimation (22). There are pros and cons to having your children while you are still relatively young, but Goms is happy she did have her children so young so I am now able to enjoy and still have a viable relationship with my grandchildren, i.e. having the stamina to chase after them and even the ability to pick them up. And now Terry's children are 18 & 17 and Goms can still relate to them (well, sort of) in their teen and young adult years.
Terry was a beautiful child and he grew up to be a very handsome hunk of a man....I know I am prejudiced, but several people over the years have told me the same thing so it can't be all bias. Terry had an incredible sense of humor and I miss sharing so many belly laughs with him on so many levels. Terry was a hunter when he was a young boy, just as his father was. His father Terry, taught hm how to use a shot-gun (for hunting purposes) at the early age of eight and when he turned ten, big Terry (that's how we differentiated between them) bought him his first 410-gauge shotgun. We lived in a small rural town in southwest Florida and it allowed Little Terry (L.T.) to hunt at his leisure....He would bring home quail, dove, squirrel and other critters he had killed and ask me to cook them for him. Of course I did, because I didn't want to encourage him to kill just for the sake of killing. Goms never ate any of the game he shot because I didn't grow up in a hunting family and never acquired the taste for it. Everyone used to tell me that the game they killed tasted just like chicken and Goms always answered, "I'll just have the chicken then!" Terry had quite an arsenal of guns in his lifetime. My mother (Grandma Katie) even bought him two Civil War Calvary guns for his collection. Big Terry was quite a hunter himself and all of his guns went to L.T. when he died in a car accident nines years before Terry and Tiff died. Terry was only 12 years old at the time, Tracey was 11 and Tiffany was 8.
Terry had a kind heart and was very protective of me as his Mom. While growing up, Terry was the kind of child that never talked back to me. He did, however, still do what he intended to do if it mattered enough to him....What is that called in psychological terms? Passive-aggressive. Whatever it was, it sure made it easier to be his parent because we didn't have any screaming meemie fights. Just the repercussions of what he decided to end up doing. Mostly, the things he did were just tolerable things that teens do that their parent would rather they didn't. All in all, Terry really was a good kid.
When Terry graduated from high-school, he decided on his own, to go into the Army. As his mother, I worried that he was going to have to endure quite a bit of verbal abuse from his Sgts. Goms worried for nothing because Terry excelled beyond any wildest imaginations. He not only became a memer of the 82nd Airborne Division of the Army, as an ace paratrooper, he later went on to become a decorated member of the esteemed Airborne Ranger division of the Army. Little Terry's gun expertise was rather impressive and by the time he did make it to Army Airborne Ranger, he had earned several certificates as a 'sharpshooter'. I guess that 410 shotgun his Dad gave him as a kid was just the beginning. And by the way, Little Terry turned to be a gorgeous 6ft. 2in specimen of a man. His nickname in the Army was "Biscuit". You always get a nickname in the Army and because his last name was Pribisco.....you get it?.....Nabisco? "Biscuit" is what his buddies called him and that is what he called his son when he was born.
Terry was not afraid of anything. He even raced motorcycles in his leathers (pink ones at that) at break-neck speeds around a track. I saw him once doing a wheelie on University Drive ( a very busy street in South Florida) and I almost had a heart attack. But, that was my boy! Fearless was his middle name. The wheelie incident would be a good example of him doing something a parent would rather he didn't.
When Terry became a father himself, you would have thought he invented 'fatherhood'. He carried his son, Terry III, around as if he were the 'Hope Diamond'. You could actually see the love oozing out of his every pore for his son. He was soooo very proud of his little boy. Sadly, Terry never got to see his amazing and beautiful daughter Megan. She was born three days before he died. He and Tiffany were actually on the way over to see her when the crash happened. The officer told me that there were several baby gifts and a stroller strewn all over the accident site. I know Terry would have oozed that same love for his baby girl as well, if he had ever been given the opportunity to see her.
Terry was very accomplished for his young years. By the time he died at twenty-two, he had become a paratrooper in the Army, had dropped down over Saudi Arabia and other Middle East targets and he was chosen (because of his elite training) to be a guard at the DMZ in Korea. When he eventually became an Airborne Ranger, (one of the most elite branches of the Army in training and endurance) he wore the beret, wings and tattoos with the pride they demanded. As I went through his belongings, I found several honors and letters of mention of his bravery and accomplishments. He had never mentioned any of this to me (or his sisters as far as I know). Terry just wasn't a braggart. I have since been contacted by some of his Army buds who have espoused Terrys' great character to me. They have told me that Terry was a friend and a man of honor and they felt their lives were made all the better for knowing him. There can be no higher accolade in the world for a mother to hear about her child. I love you Terry and always will....you are missed every day of my life, more than any words could ever say and you will always have a special place in my heart.
Now for my sweet, wonderful, amazing Tiffany. Tiffany was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside... and she was a very beautiful girl. Tiffany was only 17 when she died but she was an 'old soul'. I always said she was old beyond her years. It was almost as if she had been here several times in many other lifetimes and had just gotten better each time. I take comfort in thinking that she was just 'finished' here on earth and it was her time to go. She couldn't improve any more than she had....so why stick around?
Just as an example of how special Tiff was.....I still get cards and gifts on Tiff's birthday and on the anniversary of her death. Her high-school art teacher, Ms. Carla Stiles, has never forgotten one year since Tiff died, to send me a card and a little something to let me know she misses and still loves Tiff to this day.
Tiff was the kind of person who lit up a room. She had a smile that was infectious. She taught me to never keep a compliment to myself....meaning that if someone looks especially nice, or is wearing something flattering, or their hair looks pretty....tell them. She always did that herself and it made me realize how one little compliment may just 'make the day' for the person you are saying something nice to. We can learn from our children as well they learn from us.
Tiffany was very vocal and animated (her Dad fondly called her "Jabber-Jaw' when she was little). Tiff had her own distinct style about her at a very young age and she was always 'put together' very well. Tiff loved clothes and shoes, as do many teens, but Tiff just seemed to know how to put it all together just right. She could do things with her hair that even I couldn't do....and I am a licensed hair dresser! While she was still in high-school, Tiff decided to go to nail tech school. That wasn't her chosen profession, she just wanted to make some good money while she was still in school. So, on her own, she did indeed go to nail school, got her license and went to work in a salon. With her artistic talents, she could paint the most beautiful and smallest artwork on the nail bed of patrons that you could ever imagine. With her personality, she had many clients who requested just her and they all loved her. One Christmas, she painted Christmas lights on each of my ten nails and they looked as if they were connected by little electric wires from one nail to the next. Another time, she painted Minnie Mouse on one of my nails and the likeness was amazing. She even painted on the little polka dots on Minnie's dress! She made much more money at her job than she would have slinging burgers somewhere. Tiff would have been graduating with honors from South Broward High School in just a few months when the accident happened. The school even gave me her diploma, posthumously, at a special awards ceremony and there as a whole section dedicated to Tiffany in the school yearbook.
Even after 17 years, people still share wonderful stories with me about Tiffany. People have reached out to me that I don't even know that knew Tiff. They relate wonderful times they had with Tiff. As her Mom, I already know how great she was, but it is always special to hear. One friend told me she still keeps a picture of Tiffany in her house and has told her own daughter how special Tiffany was. It can be very frustrating to speak with someone who didn't know Terry or Tiff because words can't describe what awesome people they were.
When Tiff was only about 4 years old...the song "You Light Up My Life", by Debbie Boone was popular and Tiff would put on her pink chiffon nighty and pretend it was a ball-gown and use her "Mr. Microphone" and belt out the song....and she was pretty darn good too. I heard that song not too long ago come on the radio while I was driving and I had to pull over to the side of the road because it made me so emotional and it brought me right back to that sweet little voice singing to her Mommy and anyone else in the 'playroom' who would listen. You could very well say that Tiff surely did 'Light Up My Life'. I love you 'Spiffy Tiffy'. Always have.....always will!
So, one might ask...why would two such awesome people have been taken from us? I have asked myself that so many times over this 17 years that I can't even count the times. Losing them has made me search in ways I never would have searched for answers before. By search I mean for more meaning in my life and meaning in life in general. I have wondered over the years how a beautiful soul such as Terry could have done all the daring and dangerous things he did in his 22 years, just to die in a Honda Prelude. And I have asked the same question about sweet Tiff....why a kind, sweet, smart and generous girl could be snatched from us before she had a chance to do all the wonderful things I know she would have done in her life. But, like I have said before....they must have just been finished here. There wasn't much more they could have improved on. But as I have also said so many times before.....I am grateful and feel honored to have had the privilege of being their mother. But I have to admit that I do feel their loss is like the 'phantom limb sensation', where when a limb has been amputated from you, but you still feel it is a part of you. Terry and Tiff many have been 'amputated' from my life.....but they will always be a part of me. And if anyone wonders if I would give up having Terry and Tiffany in my life so I didn't have to go through the hurt of losing them.....the answer is a resounding ..NO WAY! You see, I remember every wonderful moment I ever spent with them and I cherish those memories and I will for as long as I live.
So, thank you to all my readers out there in blogland for allowing a mother to sing the praises of two very wonderful children. It has been too long since I have enjoyed this sort of bragging about my sweet Terry and Tiffany...And this would be a very good time to remind you all to kiss your own babies and hold them tight. We only have them for a very short time as it is....and when they are taken from us too soon, it leaves an empty place in your heart forever. So, make sure you savor every second you get with your own children because we only get a precious but slender sliver of time with them and remember this wise and heartfelt advice from Gommy....
DON'T BLINK!!! Bless you all and your families as well....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
