Stop Fighting Yourself!

Gommy has been reading up on and trying Yoga lately. Yoga is about the only exercise, other than swimming or walking, that Gommy can still manage to do. I almost added an lol here but decided it wasn't so funny after all.....now that does seem funny to Goms......so.....lol. The side effects of Yoga are peace and tranquility. Now who couldn't use a huge dose of that these days?

In reading up on Yoga, Gommy came across a very interesting concept. You can't go very far in the study of Yoga before you come upon the teachings of the Buddha. Even if you don't feel comfortable discussing or thinking about Eastern Philosophies....when you Americanize it.....it starts to explain quite a bit about what is going on with most people and their suffering. Gommy isn't saying we should idolize Buddha.....not at all.....but he was a very wise man and had much to offer in the way of insights into how our minds work. Studying Buddhas' teachings is not about learning beliefs from far away lands. It is looking at how the teachings may apply to our own lives. The Buddha said that there are 5 reasons for suffering. 1-Not knowing reality 2- Clinging to the unreal 3- Aversion to unpleasant things 4- Identifying with our imaginary self and 5- the fear of death.

Let's start with knowing what is real. We think that our reality is absolute. We do not fully know our true selves. This is also called ignorance. It is the inability to see things as they really are. This doesn't mean that we are necessarily being stubborn.... because it can be that we may have a limited ability of understanding something. For instance, we cannot see radio waves and before they were 'discovered'...we could not imagine anything coming through the atmosphere and delivering something as beautiful as a song or an orchestral piece through thin air.

The next reason for suffering is clinging to the unreal. We have an identity that we have clothed ourselves with. Externally, it can be the idea that we are poor.....or we are ugly....or on the internal side....we are a bad person.....or we are stingy or greedy. We become trapped in those identities and that causes suffering. If we feel we are poor....we cling to money and are afraid it will be taken from us. Jealousy also comes into play with this reason in that when we strive to become 'better' or 'richer' than others.....it causes suffering when we fail to do so.

The next 'affliction' for our suffering is our aversion or shunning of things that are unpleasant to us. If we find that we cannot escape things that are unpleasant to us, it causes suffering. In the same way that even thinking of unpleasant things or experiences can make us uneasy. We shrink away from anything that threatens our egos. Even when our children do something that embarrasses us, is a form of turning it inward as an assault on how we raised them and is a threat to our parenting ego-self. 'Their' behavior threatens who 'we' are and the need to protect ourselves from what we fear is part of 'us'. If we cannot attain a pleasurable goal or experience, we suffer. Even when we do attain a pleasurable goal, it wanes after a bit and we begin to search for another goal to make us happy again. And the 'prideful' cycle continues.

The fourth reason for suffering is when we identify with our imaginary self. We have heard so much about self-esteem in the last few generations. It has been recorded that even a student with a low IQ can perform much better than the student with a high IQ if they have received enough positive encouragement from their teachers. That self image is enough to turn a poor student into a great student. The problems come into focus when we believe bad things about our self image. When we end up believing the 'I can't' or the 'it's no use' tape we keep playing over and over in our heads.

The last reason for suffering is the fear of death. We are so afraid of dying that we worship youth. The cosmetic industry is a several billion dollar a year industry. Why? Because we need to look and stay young as a way of denying death. The real reason we fear death is that our ego desperately needs to stay alive.....even if it means running the informercial 'it' has made to make us believe whatever needs to be believed.

The hidden reality is that once we stop 'knowing what is real', as in the first reason for our suffering.....we just fall like a stack of dominoes. And after that, all of the other reasons for suffering fall in line automatically.

The biggest gift we can give ourselves is to be aware of that 'monkey talk' that our ego is constantly feeding us. Be aware that we are not...... how much money we have, or how pretty we are, or how smart we are. The real 'I Am' person must not be afraid and must accept that those ideas of who or what we are cannot harm us. And the opinions of other people cannot harm us either. Only then, can you give yourself permission to BE YOURSELF....without the illusion (the erroneous mental representation) of who you are. Your whole life can and will change when you accept yourself. And that's some pretty good peace and tranquility if you ask Gommy!

So, think about this a bit and see if you are unnecessarily causing yourself to suffer. And if you are.....STOP THAT.....Gommy says! There is a saying somewhere that says. "Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due." So, again.....stop that. It isn't doing you any good and the more you give yourself a break......the sooner you will stop fighting YOURSELF!!! You can do it.....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

What is Enough?

Gommy has had a glorious time these past few weeks. There have been birthday celebrations for loved ones that have enabled most of our family and extended family to get together. Then there have also been some family members that are having health issues right now as well. It really puts into perspective what is important in life when you are having such a grand time on one side of the equation and you see sickness in those you love on the other side of the equation.

I ran across a parable about how we can get somewhat caught up in the idea that more is better in our day to day attempt to be the best, have the best and attain the best. The problem with that notion is that while we are getting from the 'less' to the 'more', something or someone may be put on the back shelf while we are so busy accumulating. What we find is that we lose precious time with the ones we are trying to 'amass' all this stuff for. The paradox is that we don't know how long we will have 'them' with us. It would seem the wiser to enjoy a little less 'stuff' and enjoy what is really important for a personal success.

Here is the parable. It really brings home what Goms has been thinking about lately.

Who’s Smarter?

A management consultant, on holiday in an African fishing village, watched a little fishing boat dock at the quayside. Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the fisherman how long it had taken to catch them.

"Not very long." answered the fisherman.

"Then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the consultant.

The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The consultant asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, have afternoon rests under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go into the community hall to see my friends, have a few beers, play the drums, and sing a few songs..... I have a full and happy life.", replied the fisherman.

The consultant ventured, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you...... You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring in, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city here or maybe even in the United Kingdom, from where you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman.

"Oh, ten, maybe twenty years." replied the consultant.

"And after that?" asked the fisherman.

"After that? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the consultant, laughing, "When your business gets really big, you can start selling shares in your company and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" pressed the fisherman.

"After that you'll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings having drinks with friends..." by Jean Kent

Maybe acquiring a bunch of stuff fluffs us up and makes us feel better about ourselves. Maybe it is that we are conscientious worker bees or ants trying to build up our retirement and secure our future. (Gommy wants to let you in on a little secret from personal experience here; even the most strident saver can lose everything through some financial catastrophe or crisis). But the truth is that nothing can replace being with the people who really matter to us. And if we end up with the same 'stuff' but had to give up the more important 'stuff'......was it worth it in the end?

It all boils down to what you want out of life. And everyone is taught to strive for success. But the bigger question is......what does success mean to you. Or an even scarier question....what can it COST you in the trade-off? Gommy went through all those accumulating years too and the older one gets, the more you realize all the 'stuff' isn't what was important. The times spent with loved ones and not having to stress over keeping an eye on all the other 'stuff' is much easier on the nerves.

Gommy wishes everyone is having a great life and that the important 'stuff' is in the front of the line.....where it belongs and where it will bring the most success....in the form of lasting happiness! Maybe it's time to make a new list of what is actually important to you. You can do it.....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Hello God

Gommy watched a very interesting program on TV about the existence of God last night. These very, very brilliant scientists....(even smarter than the proverbial 'Rocket Scientist' we reference when we want to illustrate that we are talking about really smart people), were discussing that mathematics and science (I know...again) dispute the need or existence of God.

Gommy has never been very good in Math. My mother was a whiz when it came to numbers and I can remember her always saying, "Numbers don't lie." I believe that because when someone is really, really smart....they usually are pretty good with numbers and that is how they end up 'proving' their theories. But not everything is so black and white and sterile when it comes to the touchy-feely stuff in life.

I get the part where everything can be referenced to a mathematical equation in the world....but the part I don't get it how you quantify some very essential parts of we humans that are not measurable. HUH? Well, let Goms try to explain from a sub-intelligent beings' perspective.

Space and matter are measurable, right? Everything in the world that is material in some fashion can be measured and put in a mathematical equation. But what about music? How can something as beautiful as a piece from Vivaldi be played on a violin that is just wood be broken into a math problem? How can a painting by Monet be just paint slapped on a canvas and transferred into some math equation that fills a blackboard? What is the equation to depict the love a parent has for their child? Creativity, intuition, emotion, devotion or how about our consciousness...huh? huh? Where is that in terms of Science?

And all of these beautiful experiences are the punchline for God. That punchline is.....Free Will. If we didn't have free will, we would all love vanilla ice-cream, we would all appreciate only Picasso for art, we would all want to live in the mountains and hunt and fish for our food.....you see? We all have differences that can't be measured....can't be quantified. We don't all want the same man or woman type to cuddle up next to or to fall in love with. We don't all want to drive a pick-up truck. You see, God allows us to pick and choose and to enjoy whatever brings us joy. Those things can't be explained. Why? Because it's just the way God gave it to us. We are supposed to have joy and bliss in our lives and God supplied all that for us......no questions asked. There are no strings attached to God's love either. That, my friend, is called 'grace'. The grace of God. You don't even have to love Him back. He stills allows you to enjoy all He provides. That is pure and unconditional love. And it's not just 'Priceless'....it is immeasurable!

Then there is the spiritual side that scientists seem to dismiss all the time. The scientists say you can't prove that we have a spiritual component. They don't have an equation to describe the spirit. They say that the brain conjures up pictures and thoughts. But they say that without explaining that there are no material pictures in the head....only electrochemical signals that fire up when we 'draw forth' an image to ourselves. If you can put a math equation to that, I may listen more intently. But to just dismiss it because you can't explain it......doesn't cut it guys! You say you don't believe in God because the believers of the world can't prove it.....so turn about is fair play. Nana, Nana, Boo-Boo!

Anyone who has ever been in a tight spot, knows that they always end up calling for their mother and God for help.....and not necessarily in that order. Gommy, for one, knows there is a God even if I can't explain how I know because I 'feel' God's presence each time I pray. Think about it the next time you are about to pray to God. It is that moment between the time you close your eyes and just before you say "God....". You know Gommy is right... don't ya'? You have 'felt' and 'sensed' that God was right there with you....maybe He was 'within' you.....even if you can't tell me how you know it.

So.....here's to God. May He continue to bless us with his grace. And it wouldn't hurt to thank Him a little more often you know. Thank you God.....from Gommy and all my family and friends. AMEN...(Oh...and Hugs & Mush too!)

Struggles

Hello boys and girls. It's the end of another glorious week and Gommy hopes everyone has enjoyed a good one. Gommy was thinking about how so many people struggle with different things in their life and the various ways they deal with them. When you think about it.....struggles make us stronger. Too many struggles seem to weaken us, but after we survive a certain hurdle and manage to eventually jump over it......we do find that we may actually be proud of ourselves . It seems that the more struggles and problems that we tackle, the better equipped we are in handling the ups and downs of life and the more tools we have in our 'tool-box' that will enable us to fix the next one that pops up for us.

This isn't to say that we welcome the struggles and problems that we come across. It is just to assure us that there are times that will be trying for us and if we just keep going.....we will come out the other end......eventually.

I see many parents of this generation that are actually hampering their children by not allowing them to ever be disappointed or to have any problems in their lives. If we never experience problems or disappointments in our younger years.....we are being set up to be thrown for a loop when we grow up and have to face the many obstacles and/or problems that life can dish up for us. I know today's parents are just trying to be helpful....but it is really a hindrance for a child. You could even go as far as to say you are crippling your child if you do not allow them to figure out how to overcome the many problems or situations they will encounter as they grow up.

This is a parable that shows us a great example of allowing each of us to experience the struggles we may meet, so that we will be strong enough to get through them when they appear:

Struggle

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On that day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck. Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance.

Hope everyone finds very small hurdles that you have to jump over and that your troubles are few. But if you do find yourself in a situation that takes some squirming to get out of......remember the beautiful story about the caterpillar and the butterfly; "Just when the caterpillar thought it was the end of the world.....he turned into a butterfly." Happy growing boys and girls. You can do it......Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush

Adventure to Key West

Everyone knows who Papa Hemingway is don't they? ....The Nobel Prize winner of Literature who lived in and loved Key West. Well.....Papa Mike took Gommy to Key West for a pre-birthday trip and what an adventure it was! Gommy can understand why Papa Hemingway loved Key West so much.

First, there were no organized plans. Just the thought of going to Key West for fun and a little Rest & Relaxation. No hotel reservations? No problem. But it's Labor Day weekend.....no problem. You have to have a little faith Goms. "We'll find something when we get there.....we always do", Papa Mike said. We truly have found over the years, that you are really better off walking up cold, right off the street to get a better deal. Nine times out of ten you will get a room much cheaper than if you had booked it ahead of time. You know.......those 'last minute deals'. But this was Labor Day weekend......

For a little background on this 'no arrangement' type of adventure that Grandpa (Papa) Mike is notorious for.....Grandpa has been to quite a few, top of the line, venues without a ticket before and he always does get a ticket and he gets it for much less than he would have had to pay.......if he had gotten one like most everyone else does. He has been to the World Series, several Superbowls, a number of finals in the most sought after sports playoffs known to mankind i.e. Final Four in Basketball, NCAA College playoffs in football & baseball, the Masters in golf.....really folks...it just goes on and on. And you know why Grandpa always gets in? Because he BELIEVES he will. There is never a doubt in his mind that everything will fall into place. And I can testify right here and right now.....that it does. At first, Gommy thought he was bonkers....but we have been together for a very long time now and I have seen him work his wonders over and over.

So now back to our adventure to Key West. A very good friend of Grandpas' loaned us a cute little Smart Car for our trip. It is really very roomy and quite fun. Everyone looks at you while you are driving along and you can almost hear them saying they can't imagine being in one themselves. Gommy has since learned that the Smart Car is made by Mercedes and is very, very safe. It has been tested over and over and it stands up very well in crash tests (God forbid). The car gets around 44 MPG and it is a hoot to drive. So, if we were going to get the best bang for our gas buck....it was the perfect way to roll.

Soooooo, as we were gassing up at the Snapper Creek service plaza on the Florida Turnpike, Grandpa gets a phone call from a business associate asking a question about work. Grandpa tells the man that we are headed to Key West and he will get back with him when we get back in town. The man proceeds to ask where we are staying and when Grandpa says we don't know yet......he tells us his daughter works at one of the nicest resorts in Key West and would we like him to call her for us. WOULD WE????? This is where Gommy is now starting to feel the beginning of the Papa Mike sort of serendipity that we have become accustomed to, about to be kicked into motion.

But knowing this particular resort is way over our budget (because Gommy had looked up accommodations online and when I saw this particular resort, I went right by it when I saw the prices), we didn't get too excited, and we kept driving along and enjoying the view. We were even planning on what to say to be polite, and that we would just thank him, but that we would have to decline the offer once he told us what the price would be. When the man did call us back....he told us the amount we would be paying and we thought we must have a bad connection....because there is no way we could have heard him correctly because the amount he told us was the same amount that Gommy had seen online for the very low budget ones we were contemplating. So, did we say yes????? D-U-H...Gommy almost jumped through the phone to hug the man!

As for this serendipity stuff......if you have read any of Gommy's Goodies before, you probably know that Gommy is a firm believer in Believing it to See it....not the other way around, "Seeing is believing". Grandpa Mike is always being called the luckiest guy or people just shake their head.....and some of them in disbelief. That is their prerogative....but Goms has seen it too many times to be doubtful any longer. The rest of the trip just kept getting better and better and filled with more of these unbelievable (to other folks) occurrences.

Like when we did arrive at this wondrous resort.....at check in, they gave us this 'You're a Star' card that entitled us to 50% off at all of the restaurants on the property....... AND a complimentary bottle of wine at their signature restaurant.....AND a gift certificate for a complimentary silver Dolphin pendant. Gommy was a little leery about the pendant thingy though, thinking it would be a thin, little souvenir trinket. Although I would have been very grateful for any sort of trinket to remind me of this great adventure. But Gommy was WRONG....when Goms went into the jewelry store to redeem the gift certificate...I was floored that it was not only gorgeous......it came with a beautiful silver chain. YIKES.....this was just getting better and better by the minute!

That night we watched the most glorious Sunset on the rooftop of this grand resort. There was also a live show going on with music and gobs of people being entertained along with us, as we waited for the sun to go down. Yes....there is a God and seeing the splendor of that sunset was a reminder to be even more grateful for all He provides for us.

The next day we got up (late) and went to have our half priced breakfast....YUMMO. We were feeling like Royalty by now. Then it was time to go walk around and see the sights and surroundings. There are plenty of sights to see in Key West. It is a laid back, funky sort of atmosphere in the Conch Republic. There is music pouring out of every eatery and bar on the square and the locals are singing their songs and the crowd is singing along with them. People are having a good time and everyone is friendly. That night we had a scrumptious meal and Gommy drank the whole bottle of complimentary wine by myself. Papa Mike is not a drinker.....not to imply that Goms is a sot or anything! But, Papa did have to guide me back to our room and I had the best nights sleep I have had in ages!!! Didn't even get sick. Thank goodness....

All in all.....Gommy had a great time on this pre-birthday vacation and Key West was the very best place for the celebration. Thank you Papa Mike for another grand experience and for making my birthday a special time to remember. I believe......I believe.....I believe.

Gommys' real birthday is tomorrow and we are going to my beautiful daughter's home for dinner with her beautiful family.......Life is Gooooood... Happy end of Summer boys and girls. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

This Old Gray Mare!

Gommy used to think that Labor Day weekend was a celebration of my birth. My mother did go into labor on Labor Day many, many moons ago. So, each year when I was a youngster, I thought it was pretty cool that everyone took the day off to celebrate my birthday. Goms has since learned this wasn't the case.....but it was delightful to think of it that way for a time anyway.

This birthday will be a BIG number for Goms. Gommy used to think this number was reserved for old ladies. OOPS.....here it is....looming.....chasing......catching up with Goms. But it isn't as scary as it seemed when I was looking ahead at the Big Number while I was still in my 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and the beginning of my 60's. It is just a number and thankfully.....I hear that 60 is the new 40....WHEW! Glad all those baby-boomers changed the image and the number for really getting old. And it has seemed that lately, the older folks in this country seem to be in better shape that the teens and younger generation. It goes to show that taking care of yourself, exercising and eating properly really does 'Do A Body Good.' Gommy has heard that old age is always 15 years older than we are at any given year ourselves! I like that idea. That way, we never get old, do we? lol

This would be the year that Gommy could start collecting at the first age of eligibility for Social Security.....if only that would be enough to survive the needs of a person in today's market. I guess I could make it on the amount allotted to me if I liked cat food and lived under an overpass or a viaduct. But, I better wait until I get to the age of FULL coverage. But the only thing is......it is impossible to get to that age...because they keep raising it!!!! Gotcha' And then there is always the looming warning that it isn't going to last until we reach the age to start receiving it. NO FAIR....I paid in a WHOLE lotta years and it would be really sneaky to stop it before I had a chance to get any back. GEESH!

Gommy has been so blessed in my life, that getting older really seems more like a gift than a punishment. Having a family, a job, good friends and great health sure makes getting older a whole lot easier to bear. This isn't to say that Goms hasn't had my fair share of sadness, loss, failures, disappointments and unexpected situations to face. Gommy can definitely say I have been adequately and thoroughly vetted in all of the circumstances of life that are not welcomed.

How we face the challenges in life and how we react to them, dictates how the rest of your life will be. We can either become bitter and blame everyone and everything else for our crosses to bear......or we can put our big girl panties on and deal!

Another good thing that comes with aging is that we begin to know ourselves better and we actually start liking ourselves....FINALLY. It takes quite a while to get to the place where we realize we don't care what other people think about our beliefs, lifestyles, how we dress, etc. It is very freeing and makes us wonder why in the heck we cared so much to begin with. Guess it is just the evolution of aging and the rites of passages that we all go through.

So, Gommy will look forward to celebrating another year on this wonderful journey of life. Memories are so precious and the ability to be still making memories with family and their family is the gift we keep giving ourselves. Hopefully, the ole' brain will keep working and Grandpa Mike and I will continue to be able to take of ourselves. The only good thing I can say about losing your memory is that you can hide your own Easter Eggs......lol

Keep making those wonderful memories peeps. They will warm the cockles of your heart when you get older (that is what my grandma from Ireland used to say). Take care of yourselves and eat healthy so you can stay away from doctors. They will kill you if you let em'. Just read those contraindications on the prescriptions you take. Some of them say.....' if you lose your sight or hearing' or if you or a loved one has died from taking XYZ prescription...call'. In the first place, if you have died....Goms doesn't think you'll be calling ANYONE.... and if you still take the pill after being warned that you may go blind or deaf....then you need a psychiatrist not a doctor. So stay well so you can keep away from the doctors office. You can do it...Gommy is pulling for ya' Hugs & Mush- Gommy