Sunday, November 29, 2009

Are You 'User Friendly'????

Good Sunday all.........Gommy must be some sort of 'thought magnet' because terms, words, phrases and terminology frequently pop out for Goms and that starts the old brain to ponder. This morning, the terminology 'User-Friendly' popped out for Goms. The definition of user -friendly is as follows; 1) the ease with which people can employ a certain tool or other human- made objects in order to obtain a certain goal, and 2) the study of the principles behind an object's perceived efficiency or elegance.

Gommy read the definition and immediately translated the first definition to mean, 'humans making humans'.... (as in our offspring being human-made) and the second definition to mean humans in general being 'the perceived efficiency or elegance' of those human-made offspring.

Parenting is a 'crap-roll' for some and a very thoughtful plan for others. Those parents that just roll the dice with their parenting and let the 'chips fall where they may', often end up with a messed-up child with a messed-up childhood. Those parents who plan the births of their children and give much thought to raising good citizens with good self-esteem, usually end up with a well adjusted child (and one who has attained elegance), who can navigate the world that is waiting for them.

Goms then started to wonder how many of us are really 'user-friendly' in our every day lives. Are we easy to get along with? Do we say what we mean and keep our word when we give it so we can be 'read' the way we intended? Are we generous in our hearts? Do we feel for those who have less than us? Are we kind to those who we come in contact with?

Then Goms thought, how 'user-friendly' are we with the gifts we are given, such as our very lives, or our ability to use the knowledge we are given, or how generous we are with those who don't have as much as we do? Then Bill and Melinda Gates came to mind. When we think of generous people, the Gates' pop out in a big way. They are the richest people in the USA and their philanthropy is HUGE. They 'get it' that they should give back for all they have been given. You hear people say all the time, "Why should we help x, y or z......they aren't my responsibility?" But the Gates' surely and thankfully don't think that way. They could just sit back and enjoy all their billions of dollars and not worry for a minute about the rest of us, but they don't. They give, give, give all the time to charities in our country and to developing countries who need medical treatment and for vaccines for third world countries so they aren't dying by the thousands because they don't have the knowledge to save their lives or the lives of their children.

The pastor and author Rick Warren, who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life", says that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. The words 'miser' and 'misery' come from the same root word. Think about it......

In the generosity area of our lives, it isn't so much the amount we give as the regularity with which we give. Everyone seems to be generous during the holidays....but that is 'impulse generosity'. Real generosity is when we give on a regular basis and not just when there is an urgent need. It would be a good thing if we all could become 'habitual givers'..... We also must remember that we cannot choose who we are good to or decide who should be the beneficiaries of 'goodness'. If we are truly good Christians.....shouldn't we then love ALL people? Remember....hate is not a family value. Most of us have much more than we could ever use and if that is so, it is 'expected' of us to do more than those who 'have not'. If you are a Bible reader, look up Luke 12:48 and see that is reads; "For unto whomsoever much is given, much will be required." What that means is that the more we are given, be it knowledge or gifts, the more useful we should be in the world. So, in proportion to what has been entrusted to us, the greater improvements of those gifts is expected from us. If you need another reference, look up Deuteronomy 15:7 - it reads, "If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother." That thought process should work even if anyone is not a Christian. Goms always says that no matter what your belief, if we could all just be 'Christ-like' in how we live our lives.....we would all be the better for it.

So, here's to beginning the week with charity in our hearts and begin to elegantly be more 'user-friendly' in how we are with our fellow human beings. Let's begin to explore our broader value as human beings and stop demonizing our differences. We can be so much more than we are. It's worth the attempt....Have a great week boys and girls.....and thank you God for all your Blessings. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Saturday, November 28, 2009

'Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go...'

Goms title is a little play on the Christmas song, "Let it Snow'...(just in case you didn't get the irony). We have just enjoyed our Thanksgiving Day festivities and Goms was wondering how everyone in families all across the country did with the yearly get-together this time. Each year we hear of wonderful times spent with friends and family but we also hear dreadful stories of 'times gone bad' at these annual functions. They even make movies about the 'dysfunctional family' holiday fiasco's!

Goms hopes all went well but in case it didn't, Goms will give a few things to think about before the next biggie holiday approaches.....Christmas.....for some, Chanukah for some and Kwanza for others. It seems that childhood baggage is usually the culprit when it comes to the hostilities that ensue and disrupt what was supposed to be a beautiful time together. Either brother Jim still resents brother Bob for being the 'favorite', or sister Sue still can't get over sister Mary having to always be right. Or Mom still has to tell us what we should be doing or what we have done wrong with the kids, (in her estimation anyway.) Dad was probably his usual non-committal self who just wanted to eat and then watch football.

On the 'rightness' issue, it turns out that some people just 'have' to be right, no matter what.... there just isn't any 'in between' with them. Those people are the 'black OR white' folks. For the other people on the opposite side of the discussion, who have those same issues.....it isn't so pleasant to be in the middle of the 'this ain't going anywhere' argument.


Some people don't seem to have a problem with agreeing to disagree because they can clearly live with a gray area. Everyone has their own 'set-point' of emotions, be it; anxiety, neatness, moodiness, etc. That is the 'biology' of being right. On the 'psychology' side of the coin is the reality that when you just can't be wrong and you have to defend your 'rightness' to the end.....it is actually your self-esteem that you are defending and a realization that you want 'control' over yourself and your emotions. We 'become' controlling from experiences in our childhood. Were our parents always fighting? Did you feel they were going to break up and you didn't know what to do with that emotion? Did Mom or Dad really love Susie more than me? Was I pretty or handsome enough? If you didn't like your 'world' at that developmental stage, you started trying to 'control' or change the outcome for yourself so you could be comfortable 'with' that emotion.


Goms thinks the people who didn't have many struggles as a child seem to do better with being okay with not being 'right' all the time. If you were an only child, at least you didn't have the sibling rivalry to contend with. But, you could face some new challenge later in life that you weren't prepared for that forces you to become controlling. Like, say a husband that is controlling and since you aren't used to 'sharing'....you start to control your surroundings with being a clean freak or some other malady. But, sooner or later, you are going to 'blowwwww' if you just keep everything inside.

But the good news is that you don't have to stay in either role forever. You don't have to be the one that is always giving in or the one that is being the 'relationship bully'. If you are the bully, you should ask yourself......"how is this working out for me?" If you have any INsight....you may just want to temper your bulliness before you push everyone away. Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be happy? Conversely, if you are the 'Doris-Doormat', you may want to speak up about how you don't appreciate having to give in to every issue that comes up.

Now, if you are in a 'fix my self-mode' sort of mind-frame....you can start using your 'filter' when issues come up (and they will come up) and you can refrain from immediately jumping in to 'prove' you are right. Even old dogs can learn new tricks if we really WANT to. And it won't be easy if you are the Doris Doormat to be heard at first either. People have been conditioned to seeing you as not 'having' and opinion. You will probably have to think of ways to interject what you are feeling that don't make the bully act in a reflexive and defensive way. You could suggest rephrasing the statement your partner (or relative) said because you didn't understand what they said or maybe say something like, "I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Maybe we aren't hearing what either of us is really saying."

When we can begin to realize that the reaction we receive from someone is really part 'their' emotional stuff and part 'our' emotional stuff and that we are just reliving the trauma that we never learned how to compartmentalize.....we will be all the better for understanding where everyone (including ourselves) is coming from!!!!!

So there, maybe this will help to make the Christmas or Chaunakah or Kwanza or any other faith get togethers a little less stressful for those that dread the annual festivities with family. For everyone else who does enjoy the holidays......BRING IT ON!!!! Let the fun begin......It really is much more pleasant to enjoy the time together and not just wish we could. Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Day After Thankful........

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, what a wonderful Thanksgiving we had. Thank you Trace and John and the wee ones...Samantha & Brandon.....for sharing your home, your lives and your table.

Gommy had to work in the morning and was thinking of Tracey scurrying around the kitchen, preparing the components of the feast we all eventually enjoyed. Gommy thought of the Thanksgiving Day Parade that was on TV and the anticipation of family and friends getting together later in the day and it made Goms think of past holidays when my own mother and grandmother were the ones doing the preparing, cooking and fixing the meal to make the day so special for all my grown up memories.

It truly is a rite of passage that we do pass the baton to our own children and that is how it should be. One day, we will no longer be at the festivities, but we will be in the hearts and memories of our children, who we had made so many memories to remember and pass on.

Yesterday, my mom, Grandma Katie, and on Tracey's Dads' side, her grandmother Marilyn, were there in memory, if 'not in the flesh' as my mom was known to say . We had rutabaga (that is yellow turnip for those who don't know) that was always the fare in any holiday meal that my mother and grandmother made......and we had cranberry-apple jello mold that was always made at Tracey's Dad's side and was actually handed down by her great-grandmother Nell, who was Tracey's grandfathers' mother. It was heart-warming to see that Tracey will also hand down those memories to her own sweet little ones. So, we do all leave part of us for the next generation to remember us by.


I can still see my own mom, watching the parade while sitting at the table, stuffing celery with cream cheese and olives and my own children coming by and 'sampling' them as she made them. And mom always made our holiday feasts with love. Thank you Mom for all the wonderful memories I have of our family times growing up.....I miss you and I love you. I realize now how much we do miss those who have gone on. So Goms' advice is t0 enjoy and appreciate our family while we do have them. That is why this time of year is so joyful.....even the smells and aromas of the season can bring us right back to our own wonderful childhood memories.

It is a blessing, a joy and a gift to be with family at this special time of year. And although we remember those who aren't with us any longer with a heavy heart, they are with us in our fond memories of happy times we did share together. My own children are missed especially at holiday times and get togethers but they are with me in spirit always. Miss you Ter and Tiff.

So, Goms hopes everyone had a splendid and gobble-iscous day with family and friends. This is a 'wonderful time of the year' to coin a phrase. So, don't take it for granted. Make those wonderful memories with and for your own children. They will last a lifetime......Goms knows ((*.*))

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Truly Thankful on Thanksgiving Day?

Gommy wants to wish everyone a truly happy and thankful Thanksgiving Day for tomorrow. Many will be visiting friends and family and hopefully the meaning of the day will touch our hearts and make us realize how much we all do have to be grateful and thankful for.


Sadly, there are many who will not get a delicious turkey and trimmings sort of day. They won't be sitting down with family to enjoy the blessings in front of them on the table or the loved ones all around them to share a bountiful meal with. They will be lucky if they get a crumb and a bowl of soup at a facility that is thankfully there for them each year while the rest of us are enjoying our day.


Goms doesn't want to be dreary but sometimes we need a wake-up call to become aware of just how much we do have. Goms, for one, is so very thankful for my friends and family and for a job with wonderful bosses and co-workers and a home to live in and a nice warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge. Goms is also thankful for a wonderful husband to share all these things with. Thank you God.....


Goms has posted this piece by an unknown author before, but Thanksgiving is probably the most appropriate time to re-post it.....Just in case you can't think of something to be thankful for tomorrow........try this" If you find it hard to sleep at night, remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in tonight. If you are stuck in traffic and find yourself getting upset, know there are people in this world for whom driving is not a privilege. If you have a bad day at work, think of the man or woman with a family to feed who has been out of work for months. If you should have a disappointing relationship, think of the person who has never known love, been loved or has lost a loved one. If your car should break down, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take the walk to find assistance. If you find yourself complaining about your life, remember those who didn't live long enough to have the opportunity to live a longer life. If you are having a bad hair day, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes they HAD hair. And finally, should you find yourself the victim of other people's prejudices, bitterness, anger, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse..... you could BE them. (sic)


Have a blessed day and enjoy yourself and your family tomorrow and really think about all you have to be thankful for.....there many things..... Goms is sure!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Some Assembly Required

Happy Sunday out there in blogland....The other day, Gommy read the phrase, "Some Assembly Required", and started thinking that the word 'assembly' has different meanings. Assembly can mean; 1) a set of parts to assemble (put together), 2) a set of parts so assembled, 3) a group of persons gathered together for a common reason, 4) a signal by bugle or drum for troops to come together for formation, 5) or a symbolic code for computer sciences... Whew! That is a bunch of meanings.

But for todays' purposes, Goms is going to talk about how we humans seem to require "Some Assembly"...meaning....help in putting ourselves together so we can function. Humans are the only species that Goms knows of that requires a life manual or books on 'how-to' do just about everything......i.e. lectures on how to live our lives, books on our feelings and how to raise our children, guides on what we should and shouldn't eat......geesh, have we gotten that far from our core beings that we can't even figure anything out for ourselves???? When you think about it, horses don't have manuals, tigers don't have manuals, goats and birds don't need to read a book on how to raise their young, elephants just know what they are supposed to eat and what not to eat......do you see a pattern here? Humans make such a big deal out of everything we do or feel or think, that we need a virtual 'life-road-map' to figure out where we've been or where we are going. We have, somewhere along the way, lost the ability to instinctively know what is best for us.

It's not really Rocket Science boys and girls. Eat, drink, sleep, go to work, be nice, appreciate what you have, show kindness to others, respect yourself and others, come back home.....REPEAT!!! When we realize that all the things we really need are already laid out for us to enjoy, we shouldn't mess with perfection......If it ain't broke....don't fix it! God already did a pretty good job of making sure we had everything we ever needed right here on the planet Earth. We just decided, in our infinite (or was it just finite) wisdom, that we could improve on things.....NOT!!!

Adam and Eve started this whole thing off, so we can blame them. Eckhart Tolle explains in his book, "A New Earth", that the Bible was translated from the ancient Greek, in which the New Testament was written, into English. In the translation, 'sin' is a word that has been misinterpreted and misunderstood over the years. The word sin was meant as, 'to miss the mark'. And 'Original Sin' was just meant to explain how Adam and Eve missed the mark for the very first time. Meaning, to miss the target or miss the point of human existence.

It means we suffer and cause suffering because we live our lives without thinking about the real meaning of our lives. We don't take the time to enjoy all that we are hurriedly trying to accumulate. We don't appreciate all we do have. Then we wait until people are dead and gone before we realize how much they meant to us and how much we will miss them.....AND how we wish we would have told them how much they meant while they were still here. So, if you take all the cultural baggage and the misinterpretation that has been handed down through the centuries, you will see that 'Original Sin' merely points to the inherent dysfunction in the human condition.

Soooooooo, Gommy says to STOP! 'missing the mark' and start enjoying all you do have. Be it a little or a whole lot.....there are many things to be grateful for in our lives. Just look around you. Everything we need, we already have, and it is really all we can say grace over. We don't have to continue the human dysfunctional way of living if we just take the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things life does have to offer. Have a great week boys and girls and Goms wishes you a wonderful Turkey Day.....Goms is sure going to enjoy and be thankful for spending the day with Grandpa, Tracey and her family on Turkey Day..... aka Thanksgiving.....YUM! ((*.*))

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Transformation, Transistion and Change

Here we are and another week of our lives has passed. Goms hopes everyone had a nice section of life this week and we were all grateful for the many things we should have noticed and been grateful for.

It is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of griping or complaining about our lives. Goms has noticed a new acronym on some social networks lately. It is FML.....now Goms won't say what the 'F' stands for, but we all know it isn't fudge.....and it got Goms to thinking why someone would say that about a wonderful gift such as life.

If there is really something in a persons' life that is miserable or there was an event where they felt 'out of control', like maybe as a child growing up in an unhappy home, being sexually molested as a child, being emotionally abused, etc....you should try and change the way you process that part of your life. Usually it is something that has made us suffer emotionally, and we feel we weren't or are not in 'control' of our life in a certain area. If you let it go on long enough, we end up over-compensating and try to 'control' another area of our life and that can turn into an obsession and that obsession can manifest into an eating disorder (either restriction of calories or eating way too many calories resulting in obesity), or drinking to excess or using drugs to calm our 'crazy talk' in our mind and thinking it helps us cope.

We all have things that may be unpleasant to deal with in our day to day lives, but some things may just be a blessing in disguise if they are no longer a part your life. Take an abusive relationship. Some people stay in that sort of relationship because they feel safe with the 'known', even though it is a terrible way to live. But if the person were to get out of the relationship, their life could take on more meaning and they would eventually feel better about themselves. It isn't easy.....but it is definitely worth it to change that part of their life.

Now, sometimes we don't have a choice about what we leave or what 'leaves' us. Sometimes, things or people are taken from us. How we respond to events in our life, result in how happy or unhappy the rest of our life will be. If it is a loved one....that is a tough one to get through, but it can be done in time. If it is money or things.....you will eventually discover that you are the same person that 'had it all' as the person who is just fine with what you do have now. Try not to get tied up in 'nots'. If you have your health and a loving family.....what else do you really NEED?

Life is ever-changing.....so we had better get used to it and be able to navigate the changes that will affect us every day. But if you really feel you need to change something in your life.....why not start with becoming a 'new growth' in society that returns to being admired for your honesty, be the person who is polite to others once again, be the person who has empathy for the service worker who is just trying to make a living and don't yell at them because you are having a bad day, how about giving the respect you would like to receive from others, how about changing the way we look at the many things that we do have to be grateful for. Focus on the hundreds of things that did go right today; your car started, you had milk in your fridge for your cereal this morning, you had a bed to sleep in last night, you have people and friends who care about you, etc.....instead of the three or four things that may have gone wrong.

So, here's to finding many things to be thankful for this coming week leading up to the big 'THANKSGIVING' day celebration......We shouldn't have just one day that we are thankful....Goms, for one, is thankful EVERY day for my life. Goms is making up her own acronym from now on.... It will be -LML.....(LOVE MY LIFE) and thank you God......Have a great week everyone! ((*.*))

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Causes of Suffering

Hello boys and girls....Happy Sunday and isn't it another glorious day to be grateful? Gommy was recently studying up on how to 'lighten up' and began reading some thoughts by the 15th century philosopher Rodante.....oops, did I say lighten up????? Anywho, it seems we have to understand where our suffering comes from before we can address it...Now, before we go on....if anyone out there in blogland knows Gommy and starts thinking, "Is this about me?"...the answer is NO....Gommy does have some issues of her own that she would like to 'clean up'.....Goms isn't perfect you know....(I didn't mean to shock anyone out there in Etherland....LOL)

So, on to finding out what causes suffering. And this is not the kind of suffering we feel when we lose a loved one. This is the self-inflicted suffering most of us have to endure because we don't realize we are the very ones inflicting it upon ourselves. Renowned inspirational speaker Dr. Deepak Chopra says there are five causes of suffering; 1) Ignorance of reality 2) Clinging to the transient (i.e. impermanence) 3) Fear of the transient (aka change) 4) Identifying with the fraud of the ego (lying to ourselves ABOUT ourselves), and 5) Fear of Death.

If we want to start the process of awakening our consciousness so we can begin to undo some of the suffering we cause in our psyche, begin by sitting quietly and ask your heart (metaphorically speaking), "Who am I?"...then wait, but don't try to answer....then ask, "what do I want out of life?"....then wait again, but do not try to answer....then ask yourself, "What is my purpose for being?"...again, wait but don't answer. After doing this for a time, situations, people, circumstances, relationships and events will show up in your life to answer your questions. This is just the way consciousness is set up. But you have to notice the answers when they do appear. Most people ignore the signs or the feelings we get about a question we have.

Another interesting thing about humans, is that we have opposite values in us, like the opposite values of the Universe. There cannot be light without darkness....there cannot be good without the contrast of evil....or rainbows without rain, generosity without stinginess...and on and on and on. The dynamic speaker on problem personalities, Dr. Simon, says all humans have within them, all of the aspects of the spectrum but we choose to deny the ones we dislike. From early on in our lives, we realize that when we display our nicer qualities, such as kindness, generosity, happiness, humor, etc., we receive adulation from showing those good qualities. We, therefore, try to hide the darker side of 'us' and hope no one discovers that side. Showing only the good side of ourselves is our 'Social Mask'. But after a time, we eventually do show the unpleasant side because it is impossible to keep it bottled up inside forever. This is sometimes evident with politicians or religious people who profess to 'hate' a certain social behavior and are the very first ones to cast stones....then one day, they themselves are proven to do the exact same thing they were criticizing. This is because when we don't own and embrace our darker side, we tend to try and lock it away in hopes it will stay hidden from us and the world around us. But guess what? You can't hide a part of you forever. In time, it will come out and end up manifesting in self-destructive behavior. Just like the politicians and clergy that seemingly 'shoot themselves in the foot'. We all have both sides in our personalities and if we come to terms with the parts we don't like, it will be much easier to live with ourselves.

Think of the people you respond to either positively or negatively in a strong emotional way. Those people that you love and those that you hate are actually both mirrors of yourself, (er... ourselves.) When you look in the mirror and see someone you love, that is what you want to see. But when you look in the mirror of the person you don't like, you project it outward rather than accepting it internally. So, if you really want to uncover the 'shadow you' you must ask yourself, when you are reacting strongly against someone, "What is it about that person which is really reflecting back something about myself that I don't like?" At first, you will say there is nothing about that person that is like you. But if you look deeper, you will usually realize there is some part of you that is resonating with that person. When you can own and embrace that knowledge, you will find that you will become less reactive when you are with that person. For example, if someone is late all the time and you are always punctual, your 'shadow self' is probably fearful of becoming tardy and late all the time. But then your 'shadow self' is screaming, "Let me out! That isn't fair....how do they get away with that and I can't?"

If you want to change a trait about yourself, you must find out when and how that trait started. Our traits began at some level to protect us from something that happened in our life at one time. You must then ask yourself if that trait is still serving any purpose in your life any longer. If not, how can you express that emotion in another way, without making everyone around you think you are always late.....or pushy, or caustic, or cynical or stingy or whatever trait that it is that you wish you could change.

We could all probably use an overhaul and dump a lot of the 'unnecessary traits' that we don't like about ourselves and we don't need any longer. This is work boys and girls....but it is work that may just allow you to 'lighten up' sooner rather than later.....Good luck....Goms has some excess baggage to examine!!! Have a great week everyone!!! Hugs & Mush-Gommy

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Pre-Thanksgiving Thanks

Hi boys and girls....this week, a friend of Gommys' asked if Goms could put a reason to be thankful on my Facebook status every day, leading up to Thanksgiving Day. She said it would get harder each day, but Goms has found it to be pretty easy. Gommy has soooooo many things to be thankful for that it would take many years of days leading up to Thanksgivings until Goms isn't here any longer to say how thankful I am.

Believe it or not, growing older is one thing that Gommy is thankful for. Growing older is such a gift because although our physical eyesight may worsen, our spiritual eyesight becomes 20/20. We actually do become so much more thankful for so many things in our lives. We can see things much more clearly than when we were young. We are so much more comfortable in our own skin than when we were young (plus, there is alot more skin to be comfortable in, LOL). When we are young, we thought it was the end of the world if we broke up with someone. But when we get older.....we realize that we can't even remember how they looked or what their name was in some instances....When we are young parents, we think we are 'breaking' our kids or ruining them for life....but when we get older we see that everyone makes mistakes with their kids and they aren't really broken or ruined after all. When we are young, we think life is too boring, or too busy or too chaotic or too........but when we get older, we realize those were the 'best' years with our children. Those were the years our children still wanted to be with us, sleep WITH us, take care of them..... We see all of these things crystal clearly as we age. It is really a shame that we can't have a glimpse into the future when it would really help us deal with what we are dealing with on a daily basis as young adults and parents.

There is a quote that says, "If you knew who walks beside you at all times, on this path that YOU have chosen, you could never experience doubt or fear again." (sic) What that means is that we are trying too hard to manage the details of our lives and the details are occupying too much of our intentions.

Intention is another meaningful word. There was a man named Carlos Castaneda, who was born in Peru in 1925. He was an anthropologist, author and a philosopher who said, "In the Universe, there is an unmeasurable and indescribable Force which those who live 'of the source', is called intention. And that absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to 'intent' by a connecting link." Goms thinks he meant that everything in the Universe that 'is' or is happening is meant to happen, so we should surrender when things are seemingly falling apart because we aren't really in control, that by 'letting go' and 'going with the flow', we can take it a bit easier. Now, that doesn't mean to give up.....Just like the American Indian quote goes....."Pray to God, but row away from the rocks."....we can't just idly walk in front of oncoming traffic and say, "Oh well, it was intended to be." The connecting link thingy means to Gommy that we are interconnected in ways that we don't even realize. Like, did you ever think why you clicked onto 'gommysgoodies' today? Maybe you were supposed to learn some 'lesson' from reading my blog today.

We can also intend to heal ourselves....now don't get scared away here.....Goms isn't some woo-woo self-professed 'Faith Healer'. But if you think about our bodies, our body is meant to heal itself....don't think so? Have you ever thought why a scratch gets covered over by a scab? Or how does that nagging cough from our colds finally go away? Or why do we get low-grade fevers, (in case you really don't know that one..... some low-grade fevers actually kill off bacteria in our body to fight infection and allow us to heal.) So there.......we are meant to "Heal Thyself"....to coin a phrase...LOL

So, now on to the next step. If you intend for something to happen (manifest) in your life, you must attempt to manifest what you want with 'passion'. Passion is when you are really serious about what you want in your life. Without passion, Wayne Dyer says it is,"like dressing up a corpse." Pretty futile right? Or like my Mom used to say...."You are all dressed up with no place to go." You have to be passionate about what you want to have it manifest. Gommy is absolutely, positively and unabashedly sure that Grandpa Mike and Goms is back in Florida to live because Goms was passionate about wanting to live back here. There were no signs that it could EVER happen a little over a year ago with the circumstances we were facing.....but voile'...here we are! Living proof....and there were many who thought Goms was a bit woo-woo when I just knew it would happen......ta-daaaa!

So, everyone out there in blogland.....think of things you have to be grateful for and be passionate about the things you desire. Then and only then will they manifest....Toodle- ooooo and good luck - Hugs & Mush, Gommys

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What You Resist - Persists!

Hello out there in blog land....This morning Goms got up and started watching some morning TV. There were some ads for the upcoming holidays that make you feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about how wonderful the holidays are and how fast they are approaching. Then there was the segment where they show the people outside in the crowd and they were waving flags today for Veterans Day. Then the news started and the first segment was about the Presidents' 'War Council'.................EKEEEEE!!!!! Now, this is in no way a political piece. Goms is for everyone believing the way they feel they want. This is just Goms wondering how we seamlessly go from happy thoughts of the approaching holidays to nonchalantly discussing the'progress'of the war so easily. Are we, as a people, so desensitized to killing that we just accept any information or content that is offered to us?

This really goes back to what Goms has said before in other blogs. 'What we resist-persists....'Ever heard of the 'war on crime?'....'the war on poverty?'....the war on aids?'...the 'war on war?"How is that working out boys and girls? Not so well, is it? Goms thinks the administration should form a 'Council on Peace'.....This is not to say that the present administration is the only administration to have had a 'war council'.....they have been around a long time. DUH...about as long as there were wars for our young people to fight. Strangely, this does goes hand in hand with being grateful to all of our service members in the military and all of the past Veterans who have fought for our freedoms. Thank you one and all. But..........Goms thinks it is about time we start thinking of ways to avoid wars and ways to get out of wars.

Goms is from the generation that marched against the war....(er insisted) 'we' (the USA) get out of Viet Nam. I have to give it to my generation for having the insight and wherewith all to say "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Anyone with any intelligence (the US Intelligence Department included) should realize that we are NEVER going to force the people in those far away lands to think the way we do.....So Goms says, let them have their own culture and their own way of thinking how they should live. We have plenty to clean up in our own backyards don't we? Until all the homeless people in our cities and the children of the lower end of the income bracket in our own country have a decent place to live and food to eat, we should just clean up our own act before we tell other lands how to live. Ya' think?????

Well, thanks again Veterans and all of our military. We are proud of you and grateful for your service. Maybe some day, our military will just be used to protect us from intruders(not foreigners who come to us legally) into our own country. Wouldn't that be nice? If anyone is off today for Veterans' Day...........enjoy. Everyone else, still enjoy your day. Hugs & Mush - Gommy

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Quotes from American Indians

Gommy was thinking of something to write for this Sunday and while looking up different things, I came upon some quotations from American Indians. They are so poignant that Goms will not even attempt to say anything about them. If you have the time and the inclination, just read them and then re-read them.....I promise you will get much wisdom from their wisdom.....
ENJOY! They are as follows:

It is less of a problem to be poor, than to be dishonest.

Walk lightly in the spring; Mother Earth is pregnant.

Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance.

When a man moves away from nature, his heart becomes hard.

Seek wisdom, not knowledge. Knowledge is of the past, Wisdom is of the future.

Pray to understand what man has forgotten.

If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

You cannot wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

Words are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark.
Guard them well or one day you may be your own victim. (sic)

White men have too many chiefs.

Every animal knows more than you do.

Talk to your children while they are eating; what you say will stay even after you are gone.

The coward shoots with eyes shut.

It is easy to be brave from a distance.

Cherish youth, but trust old age.

The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.

They are not dead who live in the hearts they leave behind.

If we wonder often, the gift of knowledge will come.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins.

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.

Wisdom comes only when you stop looking for it and start living the life the Creator intended for you.

One finger cannot lift a pebble.

A brave man dies but once, a coward many times.

And one that is ONE of my favorites: "Pray to God.....but steer away from the rocks."

And the final one is not by an American Indian but by Jorges Luis Borges. Goms just felt it was very thought provoking.....it is; "Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."

That's it for this Sunday boys and girls. I hope you got as much from these wise words as Goms did.....Have a Blessed day....Hugs & Mush - Goms ((*.*))

Saturday, November 7, 2009

May I Help YOU?

Gommy had the opportunity to speak with someone this week who was going through a 'bad patch' in his life. He is an AA member and had been doing very well for the past ten or so months. He had worked his way though a program and was almost finished and he had also worked his way up to managing a department where he worked. He was 'intent' on doing well and staying sober............then in just one unfortunate momemt...........poof.......it was all gone.....Back to 'Square One'. That got Gommy to wondering why some of us 'shoot ourselves in the foot', when it would appear that what we really want is to be happy. When Goms started really thinking about it further.........it became clear that he had been darker and quieter than usual the last few times Goms saw and spoke with him. There were 'red flags' that Goms should have noticed but in my 'Bob and Weave' mentality of not getting anything on me....I mistakenly overlooked the signs that may have helped him 'run off the road' (of life that is).

We all have times that we feel sorry for ourselves...'self-pity' is just the ego getting in our way. The ego is a cover-up for self-pity. The more egotistical and puffed-up you are, the more you are feeling sorry for yourself that things aren't the way you wish they were and you make yourself more important than you are (in your own mind anyway). There is a saying by the Native American Indians Ojibwe that goes, "Now and then I go about pitying myself and all the while my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky."


This ties in to feeling so sorry for ourselves that we cause ourselves actual pain. I told my friend that he would have to go back to a time in his life that someone made him feel he was worthless.....or made him feel very insecure about himself. Then he would have to retrain himself to stop the 'monkey-talk' he tells himself all the time to change his perspective of himself. What you have to do to retrain yourself is when the 'self-hate talk' starts in your head is to step outside of yourself and observe "IT" and say to "IT" ...."There goes my brain....misfiring again....SHUT-UP!" Then, switch that emotion immediately and think of something very pleasant that made you feel happy or fulfilling like your childs' sweet face, a time you fell in love and what that feeling felt like, or an accomplishment that made you feel very fulfilled....That is how you break the egos' ability to make you do something foolish that will bring you back to being unhappy and doing something that makes you 'shoot yourself in the foot'.


You must have a respectful awareness of your actions and responses to adverse situations. Don't let your ego distract you from doing what makes you feel good. Be respectful to yourself! You deserve to be happy. Disconnect from your 'monkey-talk' the moment it starts. If we were all as respectful to ourselves and our spouses or significant others as we were to strangers....WOW....wouldn't that be nice????? We can do it. Just think before you respond to a negative event or argument. Let your spouse or S.O. let off steam when they are tired or upset about something. Remember that you are just a sounding board to their aggravation and if you just listen and do not respond.....they will usually just fizzle out and realize they are treating you unjustly and will feel sorry for it and apologize....maybe not right that minute, but later on if they are at all aware of their surroundings. If you are with a jerk............never mind.....((*o*)).....But like another Native American saying goes, "No tree has branches so foolish as to fight among themselves." Meaning, it is fruitless to fight when we are supposed to be 'one'....right?


So, if anyone out there in blogland is going through a rough patch.......Goms hopes this may have helped you in some way. Have a great day guys....Goms is going for a walk on the beach and have some more aha moments for myself to enjoy!!!! Hugs and Mush.....

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Happy Birthday Mother











Yesterday was my husbands' (Grandpa Mike) mother's 85th birthday and we were fortunate enough to get to visit with her in Cocoa Beach with Grandpa Mikes' sister Cathy and her husband Rick. Mary Anne (Grandpas' Mom who the family calls 'Nana') has been feeling poorly lately and it was so good to be able to visit with her and Susan (Grandpa's sister who lives with Nana). We are finally all in the same state and even though we live a distance from each other, it's easier to visit more often now that Grandpa and Gommy have moved back 'home'.

Nana wasn't feeling much like doing or going anywhere for her birthday but we talked her into trying to spend the night in the motel-resort right across the street from where they live. It was a suite of two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a dining room and living room. This made it easier for all of us to be in the same building so we could eat a birthday dinner with Nana and have birthday dessert together. We explained that if Nana didn't feel up to it, we would bring her right back to her home after we ate dinner and celebrated with cheesecake (Nanas' favorite dessert) and coconut cake (Cathys' favorite dessert) instead of birthday cake.

The resort was right on the beach and we sat on the balcony and talked about old times and different memories each of the siblings remembered and just enjoyed the 'full moon', the sounds of the ocean, the sweet salty smell of the wind and watching the resort cats scurry below looking for something to eat...... and just plain enjoying each others company. It seems that most people don't do that anymore. If there isn't a TV on, they don't know how to interact with each other. We talked of Grandaddy Billy and how we missed him since he died. And we swore we could all see his face in the big full moon and felt he was with us, celebrating Nanas' day.

I told Nana that I had been thinking, while we were driving up to see her earlier in the day, that I am now just about the age she was when I first met her. Boy....where does the time go? It makes you appreciate your agility, good health and all around quality of life when you realize how quickly we do age.

We have so many good memories of times spent together for special occasions like birthdays and holidays. But it is never quite the same when your parents are no longer around to celebrate those times with you. They are the glue that holds families together and when they are gone.........the siblings and extended family just seem to drift apart like a boat that has become un-moored from a dock.

Gommy would like to thank Nana and Grandaddy for the many happy memories over the past twenty-five years. We had some really good times and those memories are a treasure. They never missed a birthday, graduation, christening, holiday or any other special occasion, even if their child lived in another state. They made the trek and their being there added to the specialness of the day.

So, here's to Nana (and Grandaddy, wherever you are)......you are loved very much and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for everything you have done for us and all that you are.

Gommy would also like to thank Susan (Grandpa Mikes' sister) for being such a wonderful daughter to Nana and Grandaddy all these years. Susan has always lived with Nana and Grandaddy and she is a remarkable woman. We love you too Susan.....thank you.

Everyone who still has their parents for this upcoming holiday season should say a special thank you that they are blessed with the opportunity to still have their parents with them. May you enjoy your upcoming holidays and recall all the holidays gone by and tell your Mom or Dad how much you appreciate all they did for you. Now that you have a family yourself, you can see what it entails to make everything 'seem' to go seamlessly......Not so easy is it? When we were children and young adults, we took everything our parents did for us for granted and didn't even think of the sacrifices they made for us so that we could have a nice childhood. As we have families and children of our own, we become very aware just how hard it can be to raise a family and we find that we are now the ones doing the sacrificing......So take a minute to think about all you have to be grateful to your parents for and give them a little 'thank-you' some time......They will appreciate it. Gommy loves how my Tracey tells me how much she appreciates me. That is really all we as parents really live for now anyway, isn't it?

Toodle-oooo boys and girls in blogland. See you next time- Hugs, Gommy