Hello everyone. Today, Gommy is going to talk about over-scheduling......I was just coming home from visiting our new little granddaughter and thinking about all the exciting things her mommy and daddy are in for. Like the first 'everythings' they are going to enjoy. It is really an exciting time for new parents. I can remember with my own three children how wonderful each stage was and how I learned as much from my children and they probably learned from me. We all want more for our children than we had ourselves, and that is where the 'over-scheduling' issue comes into play. The parents of today have so much on their plates, that I wonder how they can enjoy all the firsts they are experiencing. For instance, when my own children were little kids, we didn't have the plethora of options for them to be scheduled for. Today, the kids have piano, dance, aerobics, sports, etc., etc., etc. Many kids have several of these extra curricular activities to be scheduled for. I think that my children enjoyed the occasional outing more because it stood out in their memories as something special. The kids of today have all these 'special' times run together and they don't know where the 'special' picks up and where it ends. My own daughter has told me of the fond memories she has of summer vacation bible school, or the 'time' we went out to dinner at Marina 31. They stand out in her memory bank because it was special and not something she did everyday.
I can hear you mommys' all grunting about how going out to dinner only occasionally is not something you are ready to change. No, it isn't easy to cook dinner every day, but I am here to tell you it sure does keep a family close and it gives you an opportunity to connect with the kids and find out what is going on in their lives. I can't imagine not having conversations with my kids when they were growing up. The kids today all have their heads stuck on a device that sends out texts and they don't have a clue how to talk to people anymore. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'll take my good ole' days any time.
I have a friend who I have known since she was friends with my daughter in junior high school. She wrote on her Facebook page recently, "Anyone out there have any hints on what to do over the upcoming holiday with very little funds?" I wrote her back that she could have a 'potluck' dinner where everyone brings a dish to eat and then they could play board games, charades or cards. It really is a lot of fun and it doesn't cost anyone a bunch of money. I remember picnics when I was a kid. Everyone would bring food and lemonade and for entertainment, there was a baseball and a bat or a badminton set and everyone would stay the whole day and enjoy each others' company. What a concept!!!! Instead of paying mucho dineros to see a movie and having to take out a loan to get popcorn and a drink.
That's it for today. Gommys' homework assignment for everyone today is to think of something fun the family can do together that doesn't cost much and doesn't include any sort of electronic or phone device. Good luck. You may just have some fun......
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Grandchildren
I remember my mother saying how you join 'the idiot club' when you have grandchildren and I didn't know what she meant until I had my own grandchildren. There is something about grandchildren that makes your heart just melt. Everything they do is amazing....at least to this Gommy. Just watching them eating their cereal is amazing.....I try not to overwhelm innocent by-standers by gushing too much, but there are times I cannot help myself. I know I take too many pictures and I assume everyone wants to see them.....most people are very nice and take a look. I have just had the pleasure of recently being Gommy again and I can't wait for all the firsts to enjoy once more.
Grandchildren also validate you to your own children . It suddenly becomes evident to them that you were a great parent and they can understand why you did what you did way back when. They finally understand what unconditional love is. It is something you can't explain to them. It has to be experienced. It is hard to keep your opinions to yourself about how the grands should be raised but it is essential to keep your mouth shut at all costs. I remember mentioning that my husband and I would love to take our granddaughter to the beach one day and I got an answer I wasn't prepared for. My daughter, who obviously made it to adulthood with me as her mother, said quite seriously, "By yourselves?" I was crushed but my husband was more than confused that we were thought of as dawdling old dolts who couldn't possibly keep our combined eyes on a 2 year old.....Oh well, we just go to the beach ourselves these days and keep an eye on each other....
I love to spend time with my grandkids. They never cease to bring a smile to my face with the cute little things they say. Like the day shortly after Brandon was brought home from the hospital, Samantha asked her mommy, "Just when is Brandon's' mommy coming to get him?" She loves her little brother now though and has decided he can stay.
Grandchildren think their grandparents are really cool people and they love you unconditionally too. They haven't been tarnished by preconceived notions and biases. They don't see the wrinkles or saggy skin. They see someone who loves them right back. They also have a common enemy.....their parents. I understand the true meaning of the word 'bliss' when I am with them.
I also have almost grown grandkids. There is Terry and Megan. Terry was having a little trouble in school a few years ago and it was decided he should come stay with grandpa and me for a school year. It was a challenge to have a teenager in the house again. Terry tested the waters right off the bat. When I asked where his homework was, he said he didn't have any......RED FLAG. He didn't realize I had already 'been there, done that' with my own teens growing up. I proceeded to his school and had a conference with the teachers. I was told he wasn't trying and had a little chip on his shoulder. I went back to school the very next day....WITH Terry. I sat with him at his desk in each class. Imagine a teen having his Gommy go to school with him! It didn't take very long before he started to see things differently. He did have homework and he brought it home and he did it the first thing off the bus. Oh, the bus. One day he got off the bus and seemed irritated. I asked what was wrong and he informed me he was going to knock some kids head off. I knew where that might be going so I said....."I know what I can do. I can be a bus monitor..." He asked what that was and I told him I could ride to and from school on the bus with him and make sure everything went okay. He told me to nevermind; he would make sure there wasn't any problems on the bus if I would promise not to ride it with him.....ahhhhh. I love it when that happens. It turned out that Terry passed that year and I think it did all of us a lot of good and each of us learned something from each other and the experience.
So that is it for now. I hope everyone has a chance to be a grandparent one day and that they can enjoy it as much as I do. It is the gift that keeps on giving.
Grandchildren also validate you to your own children . It suddenly becomes evident to them that you were a great parent and they can understand why you did what you did way back when. They finally understand what unconditional love is. It is something you can't explain to them. It has to be experienced. It is hard to keep your opinions to yourself about how the grands should be raised but it is essential to keep your mouth shut at all costs. I remember mentioning that my husband and I would love to take our granddaughter to the beach one day and I got an answer I wasn't prepared for. My daughter, who obviously made it to adulthood with me as her mother, said quite seriously, "By yourselves?" I was crushed but my husband was more than confused that we were thought of as dawdling old dolts who couldn't possibly keep our combined eyes on a 2 year old.....Oh well, we just go to the beach ourselves these days and keep an eye on each other....
I love to spend time with my grandkids. They never cease to bring a smile to my face with the cute little things they say. Like the day shortly after Brandon was brought home from the hospital, Samantha asked her mommy, "Just when is Brandon's' mommy coming to get him?" She loves her little brother now though and has decided he can stay.
Grandchildren think their grandparents are really cool people and they love you unconditionally too. They haven't been tarnished by preconceived notions and biases. They don't see the wrinkles or saggy skin. They see someone who loves them right back. They also have a common enemy.....their parents. I understand the true meaning of the word 'bliss' when I am with them.
I also have almost grown grandkids. There is Terry and Megan. Terry was having a little trouble in school a few years ago and it was decided he should come stay with grandpa and me for a school year. It was a challenge to have a teenager in the house again. Terry tested the waters right off the bat. When I asked where his homework was, he said he didn't have any......RED FLAG. He didn't realize I had already 'been there, done that' with my own teens growing up. I proceeded to his school and had a conference with the teachers. I was told he wasn't trying and had a little chip on his shoulder. I went back to school the very next day....WITH Terry. I sat with him at his desk in each class. Imagine a teen having his Gommy go to school with him! It didn't take very long before he started to see things differently. He did have homework and he brought it home and he did it the first thing off the bus. Oh, the bus. One day he got off the bus and seemed irritated. I asked what was wrong and he informed me he was going to knock some kids head off. I knew where that might be going so I said....."I know what I can do. I can be a bus monitor..." He asked what that was and I told him I could ride to and from school on the bus with him and make sure everything went okay. He told me to nevermind; he would make sure there wasn't any problems on the bus if I would promise not to ride it with him.....ahhhhh. I love it when that happens. It turned out that Terry passed that year and I think it did all of us a lot of good and each of us learned something from each other and the experience.
So that is it for now. I hope everyone has a chance to be a grandparent one day and that they can enjoy it as much as I do. It is the gift that keeps on giving.
Friday, May 29, 2009
I was just thinking
Hmmmmmmmmmm.....I was just thinking, what if I became famous for writing about what I was thinking about? Pretty neat, eh? I always pictured myself being interviewed one day on the 'Today' show by Matt or Meredith or (heaven do I even dream) of being on the Oprah Show......but I digress......
Well, it just so happens that I came up with an idea for 'Gommy's Goodies' about two years ago. I originally thought it would be the working title for a food oriented venture, but it turns out the Universe gave me this forum to use instead. It can still be full of Gommy's Goodies, but they won't all necessarily be food related.
I have learned quite a lot in my oh so many years in this 'classroom' of life that I can share with any generation that may come across my blog. I can help with advice about babies because I have been a baby, had babies and now have grand-babies; I can help with advice to teens because I have been a teen, yeah, yeah- many moons ago, but still a teen, I have raised teens and I work with teens even now at a candy store; I can help with food recipes for newly married couples and explain how to cook them in easy, understandable language because heaven knows I have surely cooked my share of meals over the years; I can help with any questions senior citizens may have about the gap between them and the rest of the world because I am a senior citizen now and I am venturing between several generations each day myself. Have I left any generations out??? Hope not.....
For today, I think I'll stick to the ego related 'crazy-talk'.....If anyone out there in "Ether-land" is having a hard time with something and you think you are going crazy....every time you start going down the "oh no......" road, stop and listen to your crazy-talk and call it out....say to it "Oh it's you again." and just by doing that one thing, it shines a light on 'it' and brings your attention away from the 'crazy-talk'. Then just breath....sounds too simple doesn't it? But if you just realize that no amount of listening to that bunch of bunk in your head is going to change anything, you may as well think about something more enjoyable. As my Grandma used to say, "It'll all come out in the wash." What she meant was, things have a way of working out and no amount of worrying will change anything, so try to focus on things that make you feel good, i.e. a nice memory from your childhood, a good piece of pizza, a favorite song, your first kiss, your first child or any of your children or grandchildren. There are many things you can think of that are comfy-cozy thoughts so close your eyes and enjoy.
I have always said that I am a 'font of useless information' but it may just be that it isn't useless after all......So here goes............I was thinking.......what if we are all really here as an experiment? Even if you aren't religious, you have had to wonder from time to time, where did we come from and why are we here?....It has taken me all these many years to even search these thoughts for myself. I guess I was just wandering along in the 'school of life hallway' and letting life take me along on a variety of field trips. Some of them have been wonderful...others, not so much. But recently I have begun to seek out some of the answers to some of these questions. I have been wonderfully surprised by some great awakenings brought about by this wondrous thing called the Internet. I think it may just be God, or the Universe if you are more comfortable with that term, that is reaching out to us to give us a cheat-sheet of things to come. I think God (the Universe) is getting tired of waiting for 'us' to wake up and smell the roses, the coffee, the salty smell of the sea, etc. and all that he (being) has given to us. We seem to continually fight with each other - either in our own families or the world in general. We are so tied up in being 'right' that we keep ourselves from being 'happy'. I feel we as humans, are just a bunch of spoiled brats that don't appreciate a good thing (or the many good things) we have, when they are staring us in the face. Even our politics are skewed and screwed up anymore. Everyone can't be right all the time, can they? Each party blames the other one for the last tenure of office. All that matters is what can we all do now? It doesn't matter how we got here, just how do we get on with it, for crying out loud.....(another Grandma-ism).
I first became aware of my own 'crazy self-talk' when I heard about Eckhart Tolles' book
"A New Earth" on the Oprah Show. Yep, I'm an Oprah-ite.....but who isn't? If you aren't on Oprah's' bandwagon, you have missed the train...... Anyway, I started to wonder why didn't I ever think about the 'talk' I was continually giving myself inside my own head every waking moment of every single day of my life up to that point? Was I the only one who didn't realize 'I ' was telling 'me' terrible things about 'us'????? Just by telling 'myself' not to listen to 'me' gave me the greatest relief. The first sense that I was feeling better about me was that I started to actually fall asleep easily at night, just like a baby does. And this was in the midst of a time that I was going bankrupt and losing 'everything' that I 'thought' was important in life. I had asked God to take over because I had sure made a mess of things. "Ask, believe, receive". God answered....More about that in a later blog.
Simplicity is the real secret. You don't have to prove your self worth by what you wear or drive or live in. We are all just ordinary people with different circumstances. And those circumstances can change at any time. You are reading words from the "Poster Girl of Changing Circumstances". You have to know your own self worth in your heart, your gut and in your 'crazy-talk head". Going back to the 'crazy-talk', close your eyes and try not to think.....hard isn't it? What are you saying to yourself? Who is saying it? If you don't have much respect for yourself, then why are you listening to you? Gotcha......Then there are those others at the other end of the spectrum who think WAY too much of themselves.....They are the arrogant, smug and obnoxious ones that don't have any regard for anyone but themselves. I wonder what they are saying in their 'crazy-talk'? So for today, my 'homework' for anyone reading this is to take it easy on yourself. It will 'all come out in the wash'. Try to think of another time in your life when you thought all was lost......well, you are still here now aren't you? Gotcha! Well, that is it for my very first blog. Hope to meet back here real soon.
Hugs, Gommy Shirlee ((*.*))
Well, it just so happens that I came up with an idea for 'Gommy's Goodies' about two years ago. I originally thought it would be the working title for a food oriented venture, but it turns out the Universe gave me this forum to use instead. It can still be full of Gommy's Goodies, but they won't all necessarily be food related.
I have learned quite a lot in my oh so many years in this 'classroom' of life that I can share with any generation that may come across my blog. I can help with advice about babies because I have been a baby, had babies and now have grand-babies; I can help with advice to teens because I have been a teen, yeah, yeah- many moons ago, but still a teen, I have raised teens and I work with teens even now at a candy store; I can help with food recipes for newly married couples and explain how to cook them in easy, understandable language because heaven knows I have surely cooked my share of meals over the years; I can help with any questions senior citizens may have about the gap between them and the rest of the world because I am a senior citizen now and I am venturing between several generations each day myself. Have I left any generations out??? Hope not.....
For today, I think I'll stick to the ego related 'crazy-talk'.....If anyone out there in "Ether-land" is having a hard time with something and you think you are going crazy....every time you start going down the "oh no......" road, stop and listen to your crazy-talk and call it out....say to it "Oh it's you again." and just by doing that one thing, it shines a light on 'it' and brings your attention away from the 'crazy-talk'. Then just breath....sounds too simple doesn't it? But if you just realize that no amount of listening to that bunch of bunk in your head is going to change anything, you may as well think about something more enjoyable. As my Grandma used to say, "It'll all come out in the wash." What she meant was, things have a way of working out and no amount of worrying will change anything, so try to focus on things that make you feel good, i.e. a nice memory from your childhood, a good piece of pizza, a favorite song, your first kiss, your first child or any of your children or grandchildren. There are many things you can think of that are comfy-cozy thoughts so close your eyes and enjoy.
I have always said that I am a 'font of useless information' but it may just be that it isn't useless after all......So here goes............I was thinking.......what if we are all really here as an experiment? Even if you aren't religious, you have had to wonder from time to time, where did we come from and why are we here?....It has taken me all these many years to even search these thoughts for myself. I guess I was just wandering along in the 'school of life hallway' and letting life take me along on a variety of field trips. Some of them have been wonderful...others, not so much. But recently I have begun to seek out some of the answers to some of these questions. I have been wonderfully surprised by some great awakenings brought about by this wondrous thing called the Internet. I think it may just be God, or the Universe if you are more comfortable with that term, that is reaching out to us to give us a cheat-sheet of things to come. I think God (the Universe) is getting tired of waiting for 'us' to wake up and smell the roses, the coffee, the salty smell of the sea, etc. and all that he (being) has given to us. We seem to continually fight with each other - either in our own families or the world in general. We are so tied up in being 'right' that we keep ourselves from being 'happy'. I feel we as humans, are just a bunch of spoiled brats that don't appreciate a good thing (or the many good things) we have, when they are staring us in the face. Even our politics are skewed and screwed up anymore. Everyone can't be right all the time, can they? Each party blames the other one for the last tenure of office. All that matters is what can we all do now? It doesn't matter how we got here, just how do we get on with it, for crying out loud.....(another Grandma-ism).
I first became aware of my own 'crazy self-talk' when I heard about Eckhart Tolles' book
"A New Earth" on the Oprah Show. Yep, I'm an Oprah-ite.....but who isn't? If you aren't on Oprah's' bandwagon, you have missed the train...... Anyway, I started to wonder why didn't I ever think about the 'talk' I was continually giving myself inside my own head every waking moment of every single day of my life up to that point? Was I the only one who didn't realize 'I ' was telling 'me' terrible things about 'us'????? Just by telling 'myself' not to listen to 'me' gave me the greatest relief. The first sense that I was feeling better about me was that I started to actually fall asleep easily at night, just like a baby does. And this was in the midst of a time that I was going bankrupt and losing 'everything' that I 'thought' was important in life. I had asked God to take over because I had sure made a mess of things. "Ask, believe, receive". God answered....More about that in a later blog.
Simplicity is the real secret. You don't have to prove your self worth by what you wear or drive or live in. We are all just ordinary people with different circumstances. And those circumstances can change at any time. You are reading words from the "Poster Girl of Changing Circumstances". You have to know your own self worth in your heart, your gut and in your 'crazy-talk head". Going back to the 'crazy-talk', close your eyes and try not to think.....hard isn't it? What are you saying to yourself? Who is saying it? If you don't have much respect for yourself, then why are you listening to you? Gotcha......Then there are those others at the other end of the spectrum who think WAY too much of themselves.....They are the arrogant, smug and obnoxious ones that don't have any regard for anyone but themselves. I wonder what they are saying in their 'crazy-talk'? So for today, my 'homework' for anyone reading this is to take it easy on yourself. It will 'all come out in the wash'. Try to think of another time in your life when you thought all was lost......well, you are still here now aren't you? Gotcha! Well, that is it for my very first blog. Hope to meet back here real soon.
Hugs, Gommy Shirlee ((*.*))
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