Hello boys and girls. Happy Tuesday to everyone. Gommy read a comment by a very wise lady (Oriah) today on Facebook and what she said really resonated with me. What she said, in effect, was that expectations, hopes, dreams and change come like the changing of seasons.
We are moving into Autumn right now and we will have one day of blistering heat and the next day, there will be a whiff and a hint of lessening humidity in the air and a little cooler breeze against our faces. Then the next day will be a 'bam in your face' hot day again. This process goes on until we are fully into the next season.
The seasons of our lives and the changes in our lives work the same way. We want to change something in our life and we set out to change it. Say it is a diet.....we are going on a diet this coming Monday. Yeah, been there and done that one before....right? So we start out like gang-busters. We buy all the fresh fruit and veggies and the lean meats and yogurt. Then we stick to the new regiment like that pasty school glue with the bright orange stick in the middle. But we usually have a slip up at some time and we take a few steps back. Then we resolve to start it over. We haven't gotten too far off track yet.....And we forge ahead....AGAIN.
Or take breaking a bad habit. We promise ourselves we are going to stop....biting our nails.....smoking.......gossiping......being so stubborn....arguing, etc. And we are very, very good for a while and then....something derails us. Want to know a little secret? We are the ones that derail ourselves. We can't blame someone else all the time. It isn't easy to change a bad habit. That is why it is called a 'habit'. It is something that we do continually and usually it is done subconsciously.....so it has been ingrained IN us BY us! So, we have to be very aware of what we are thinking and be alert to our old ways and diligently keep a lid on the old booga-boo. Then we will be able to see the change start to manifest.
Staying in the lines isn't easy. Many of us have learned our way of life by repeating the same patterns over and over and over. When things don't change the way we 'wish' they would.....we become grouchy and can't imagine why things stay the same. Albert Enistein quoted that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. Pretty smart guy, that Albert!
But as long as we realize that there are going to be periods of a few steps forward and a couple of steps back and then going forward again......we may not throw the baby out with the bath water when we are going through these steps of change. Maybe the next time we are trying to change ourselves or a habit we are trying to overcome, we may remember this and be able to stick to whatever it is that we are hoping to change.
Anything worth having is worth the work it takes to get there boys and girls. Don't skip the challenges in life because they are challenging. Don't think that you don't have what it takes to be strong enough to get over or through whatever it is that you want to change. Because you do, you are, and you will. So take it easy on yourself if you 'fall off the wagon'. It isn't the end of the possibility. As long as you try again. There is a good quote on this very subject; "Courage is not always a roar, but sometimes a quite whisper at the end of the night saying, 'I will try again tomorrow". You can do it kiddies......Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs and Mush, Gommy
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Is Everyone Ready For a Little...................R & R????
Hi boys and girls. Gommy heard the phrase R & R this week and realized that it was being referred to as Rest & Relaxation. But Gommy wondered what else could R & R mean. For today's thought....Goms wants to use it as Risk and Reward.
Risk and Reward means that sometimes we have to take a little risk to get a big reward. How, you ask? Let Gommy tell you how. If we stay in our safe little world, never venturing out to what some of our desires may be.....we get stuck in a rut. Sometimes, we have to change our perspective about the way we are living our lives....if we want them to get any better. If you are all happy, fulfilled, at peace and living the life you love.....then this blog today is not for you. You may be excused from today's lesson.... ;-)
But if you want to understand how our perspective on things 'causes' us to be living the life we are living....then read on peeps! Take a radio station frequency or a TV station. We can 'tune' in or 'tune' to another station or show anytime we want to listen or watch something else. BUT...what do you think is happening to all the multitudes of other stations that are out there waiting to be 'called' upon by you or any other person? They are still there, aren't they? That is the same way the situations of our life are being called to us..... by us. The things we are tuning into.
If we just look through a set of binoculars....we are only seeing the thing we are focusing on through the sight-holes aren't we? We cannot even see what is happening in the same room we are in..... at the same time. There could be people coming in and going out of the room, and we can't 'see' it because we are only focusing our 'awareness' on the object we are looking at through the binoculars. Make sense boys and girls?
Think about this.....I'm sure we have all heard that we are all 'creatures of habit'. That is because we get comfortable in our little 'bubble' that we have made for ourselves and we don't usually like it when we are nudged out of it. But if we aren't exactly thrilled with how we have 'made' up our little reality, then we have to Risk changing to receive any Rewards......Can't have it both ways peeps. If you want to change something in your life.....you have to change the way you are calling it to you.
Going back to the radio and TV station analogy....if you really don't think you can 'call' up how you are perceiving your life....then how can we reach back in our memory bank to a time or to a person from our past? Where was that memory before we 'decided or called' it into being? It was still 'OUT THERE'.....somewhere waiting to be called forth. If we are constantly saying how bleak our lives are....or how unlucky we are.......or how nothing seems to ever go our way.........guess what? You are right. You are calling that to yourself. If, on the other hand, you have the mindset that you are always 'lucky' or that things just seem to fall into place for you or you always seem to be at the right place at the right time.....guess what? You are RIGHT again! That's how it works my good friends. But....here is the 'trick' or the 'secret'....you cannot and I repeat....loudly...CANNOT!!!!! have conflicting thoughts while calling 'whatever' it is to you. You can't say....I want to win the lottery....but deep down you are still cultivating that old mindset of....BUT I've never been lucky. You have to get to the 'root' of what you really believe....way down deep in your 'made up' idea of yourself.
For example, Gommys' husband....Grandpa Mike, has always been considered the luckiest guy anyone has ever met. Gommy has seen several examples of how this would seem to be the case. Each time we are together and are looking for a parking spot....Grandpa always seems to find one right in front of the store....restaurant...or place of business we are going to. And he always remarks....."Looks like we found my spot." And we dooooooo! Amazingly. Grandpa Mike always thinks he is going to find the perfect parking spot......and by golly.....he does.
Another example would be that when you are carrying a bowl of some sort of liquid....soup, cereal..etc. and you think you are going to spill it.....nine times out of ten.....you do spill it. Or how many times have we said to ourselves that we are probably going to slip and fall at the most inopportune moment....and we do? Or almost do....and then make a quick self-correct just before we bust our butts. We are focusing on doing it and we do it. Or how about the athlete that sees themselves beating the World Record....or winning the game? They willed it. You may ask what about the other side. They wanted to win too, didn't they? Well...maybe they didn't completely 'BELIEVE' they were going to win.
Here is another really good example. No names here........but Gommy bets you can figure out who we are talking about. There is an exceptionally talented golfer who was considered a phenom. Who no one could seem to beat....who won all the major tournaments there were to win. Everyone said he had the focus to win.....he was always in the 'zone'....he saw himself winning all the time.......and so did everyone else. Welllllllll...........one day (or a number of days) this golfer took his focus off his game and turned it somewhere else. Somewhere that was not a good place to go or to focus on. Guess what? His game went down the toilet....so to speak. Now, the reality is that this golfer is still the same golfer that was considered to be a phenom.....he still has all the skills he ever did....nothing happened to his abilities....The only thing that changed was his focus and his belief that he could still win his golf matches. His perspecetive changed and so did many of his fans' perspectives change about him.
So, why not try to Risk a little something......that you probably don't even like anyway.....and look for the Reward you may be revealing for yourself, from a shift in your awareness or perspective? Look outside of the bubble or binoculars. There are several different ways to look at the same thing. Try seeing the glass half full for a change. You can find just as many things that are going right as you can find that are negative. We seem to always find what we are focusing on.....don't we???? Like the great motivational speaker Wayne Dyer says......."If we change the way we look at things....the things we look at change." I know...I know.... I keep referring to that quote....but it really rings true in most every instance we can think of. Try it boys and girls...you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush, Goms
Risk and Reward means that sometimes we have to take a little risk to get a big reward. How, you ask? Let Gommy tell you how. If we stay in our safe little world, never venturing out to what some of our desires may be.....we get stuck in a rut. Sometimes, we have to change our perspective about the way we are living our lives....if we want them to get any better. If you are all happy, fulfilled, at peace and living the life you love.....then this blog today is not for you. You may be excused from today's lesson.... ;-)
But if you want to understand how our perspective on things 'causes' us to be living the life we are living....then read on peeps! Take a radio station frequency or a TV station. We can 'tune' in or 'tune' to another station or show anytime we want to listen or watch something else. BUT...what do you think is happening to all the multitudes of other stations that are out there waiting to be 'called' upon by you or any other person? They are still there, aren't they? That is the same way the situations of our life are being called to us..... by us. The things we are tuning into.
If we just look through a set of binoculars....we are only seeing the thing we are focusing on through the sight-holes aren't we? We cannot even see what is happening in the same room we are in..... at the same time. There could be people coming in and going out of the room, and we can't 'see' it because we are only focusing our 'awareness' on the object we are looking at through the binoculars. Make sense boys and girls?
Think about this.....I'm sure we have all heard that we are all 'creatures of habit'. That is because we get comfortable in our little 'bubble' that we have made for ourselves and we don't usually like it when we are nudged out of it. But if we aren't exactly thrilled with how we have 'made' up our little reality, then we have to Risk changing to receive any Rewards......Can't have it both ways peeps. If you want to change something in your life.....you have to change the way you are calling it to you.
Going back to the radio and TV station analogy....if you really don't think you can 'call' up how you are perceiving your life....then how can we reach back in our memory bank to a time or to a person from our past? Where was that memory before we 'decided or called' it into being? It was still 'OUT THERE'.....somewhere waiting to be called forth. If we are constantly saying how bleak our lives are....or how unlucky we are.......or how nothing seems to ever go our way.........guess what? You are right. You are calling that to yourself. If, on the other hand, you have the mindset that you are always 'lucky' or that things just seem to fall into place for you or you always seem to be at the right place at the right time.....guess what? You are RIGHT again! That's how it works my good friends. But....here is the 'trick' or the 'secret'....you cannot and I repeat....loudly...CANNOT!!!!! have conflicting thoughts while calling 'whatever' it is to you. You can't say....I want to win the lottery....but deep down you are still cultivating that old mindset of....BUT I've never been lucky. You have to get to the 'root' of what you really believe....way down deep in your 'made up' idea of yourself.
For example, Gommys' husband....Grandpa Mike, has always been considered the luckiest guy anyone has ever met. Gommy has seen several examples of how this would seem to be the case. Each time we are together and are looking for a parking spot....Grandpa always seems to find one right in front of the store....restaurant...or place of business we are going to. And he always remarks....."Looks like we found my spot." And we dooooooo! Amazingly. Grandpa Mike always thinks he is going to find the perfect parking spot......and by golly.....he does.
Another example would be that when you are carrying a bowl of some sort of liquid....soup, cereal..etc. and you think you are going to spill it.....nine times out of ten.....you do spill it. Or how many times have we said to ourselves that we are probably going to slip and fall at the most inopportune moment....and we do? Or almost do....and then make a quick self-correct just before we bust our butts. We are focusing on doing it and we do it. Or how about the athlete that sees themselves beating the World Record....or winning the game? They willed it. You may ask what about the other side. They wanted to win too, didn't they? Well...maybe they didn't completely 'BELIEVE' they were going to win.
Here is another really good example. No names here........but Gommy bets you can figure out who we are talking about. There is an exceptionally talented golfer who was considered a phenom. Who no one could seem to beat....who won all the major tournaments there were to win. Everyone said he had the focus to win.....he was always in the 'zone'....he saw himself winning all the time.......and so did everyone else. Welllllllll...........one day (or a number of days) this golfer took his focus off his game and turned it somewhere else. Somewhere that was not a good place to go or to focus on. Guess what? His game went down the toilet....so to speak. Now, the reality is that this golfer is still the same golfer that was considered to be a phenom.....he still has all the skills he ever did....nothing happened to his abilities....The only thing that changed was his focus and his belief that he could still win his golf matches. His perspecetive changed and so did many of his fans' perspectives change about him.
So, why not try to Risk a little something......that you probably don't even like anyway.....and look for the Reward you may be revealing for yourself, from a shift in your awareness or perspective? Look outside of the bubble or binoculars. There are several different ways to look at the same thing. Try seeing the glass half full for a change. You can find just as many things that are going right as you can find that are negative. We seem to always find what we are focusing on.....don't we???? Like the great motivational speaker Wayne Dyer says......."If we change the way we look at things....the things we look at change." I know...I know.... I keep referring to that quote....but it really rings true in most every instance we can think of. Try it boys and girls...you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush, Goms
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
"A Rose by Any Other Name....Would Smell as Sweet"
Have you ever thought that you were like a flower? Think about it now. That you were 'planted' from a seed and 'fertilized' and 'watered' until you poked through....and BECAME!
And then you were this spindley little 'twig' that was smaller than everyone else in the garden. But you knew that if you kept getting nourished and watered.....that one day you would get buds....and then after a time...you would become this beautiful, beautiful flower too.
You would have the most gorgeous colors and intricate patterns on your soft, velvety petals. And your fragrance would leave whomever got near to you, drunk with your essence. You would finally bloom and be admired and be sought after by many. There would be others like you.....but none exactly as you are.
The 'bees' would come and stop to drink from your core and pass on the best parts of you to make another flower, another day, in another place. In someone else's garden.
One day, someone may 'pick' you and put you in a vase with the other beautiful flowers....to be enjoyed and looked at and seen by others who may visit.
Then one day, your beauty would start to fade....your scent would not be as potent as it once was. There are other beautiful flowers growing in your garden now. Little buds that will grow into beauties too. They will have their turn at being beautiful. It is their time now.
Finally, it would be time to die. But don't be sad....because the best part of you did live on....in the other beautiful flowers that were made possible by the sharing of yourself.
The Bible says it best....Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time of war, and a time of peace. A time to live and a time to die."
It is all part of the beautiful bouquet of Life. We are all part of this beautiful bouquet. You are......they are....I am.......Enjoy your time!
And then you were this spindley little 'twig' that was smaller than everyone else in the garden. But you knew that if you kept getting nourished and watered.....that one day you would get buds....and then after a time...you would become this beautiful, beautiful flower too.
You would have the most gorgeous colors and intricate patterns on your soft, velvety petals. And your fragrance would leave whomever got near to you, drunk with your essence. You would finally bloom and be admired and be sought after by many. There would be others like you.....but none exactly as you are.
The 'bees' would come and stop to drink from your core and pass on the best parts of you to make another flower, another day, in another place. In someone else's garden.
One day, someone may 'pick' you and put you in a vase with the other beautiful flowers....to be enjoyed and looked at and seen by others who may visit.
Then one day, your beauty would start to fade....your scent would not be as potent as it once was. There are other beautiful flowers growing in your garden now. Little buds that will grow into beauties too. They will have their turn at being beautiful. It is their time now.
Finally, it would be time to die. But don't be sad....because the best part of you did live on....in the other beautiful flowers that were made possible by the sharing of yourself.
The Bible says it best....Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time of war, and a time of peace. A time to live and a time to die."
It is all part of the beautiful bouquet of Life. We are all part of this beautiful bouquet. You are......they are....I am.......Enjoy your time!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Turn it Around
Hi boys and girls. Yep...Goms has her thinking cap on again today. Something came up recently that made Gommy think about the title of this blog. Turn it Around.....could mean any number of things....but Gommy is using the concept to mean 'there are two ways to look at something'. There are probably several ways to look at any given situation....but there are always at least two ways.
Take for example, the idea of an argument. If there are two people involved in the tussle....then there are obviously two schools of thinking about the thing they are disagreeing about. Right? If we could, somehow, put ourselves in the other persons' shoes, so to speak, we may loosen our grasp (or grip) on thinking that just our way of thinking about the issue at hand is the ONLY way to look at it.
'Turn it Around' could also apply to when we have something to do that is distasteful, or that we have gotten ourselves into a situation and we wished we hadn't or we find ourselves in a scenario that we feel we have been pushed into. If we try to look (and sometimes we have to really dig at it) to find some redeeming value in doing the nasty thing we have to do.....or see a benefit somewhere for ourselves in doing it...or think of how something good may come of it after all....we may just be able to re-frame how we are feeling about it. Some of you are probably too young...but there was an old song that applies here...."Look for the Silver Lining." Get it???
If we have agreed to something that we weren't entirely 'on board' with, but did so to keep the peace.....and we find that we just can't seem to 'drink the whole glass of kool-aid'....then we may just have to put the experience in our pile marked - "Lesson Learned." And if we have indeed learned the 'lesson', then the next time something comes along that we can 'feel' a bit of that deja' vu sense of, "Oh no you don't... or Oh no you di-ent", we can now have that auto-reflex (also known as the hair on the back of your neck rising.....or a gut-wrenching in your innermost psyche), come to the foreground and stop us in our tracks before we have another 'lesson' to learn. If we are very slow learners....guess what?....you will be put back in the 'class' until you have thoroughly and completely learned your 'lesson'. SORRY :-(
If the same argument is with your significant other and it seems to be coming up all the time......you have to try to 'flip' it or reverse roles and try to see your partners' side of the issue. Gommy wants to interject here though that there are usually three sides in most spousal or relationship arguments.....His - Hers - and THE TRUTH (or hers/hers and the truth or his/his and the truth....don't want to leave anyone out here peeps).... but sorry boys and girls....that is just the way it is. We can usually only see our side of the situation....but to be fair....we have to see how the other person views the disagreement. Now, this is a hard one because you have to be with the other person ALOT.....you can't avoid them as you might be able to do at work, or a friend who is disagreeable or a customer that you won't have to contend with once your business with them is concluded. Your spouse or spousal equivalent is ALWAYS right there....right there in your face.....yapping, yapping, yapping their side of the issue. OOPS....Goms got off on a tangent there. Sorry. ;-]]]]]
Another biggie that Gommy thinks about all the time is the way organized religions all over the world think that only their religion is the right one. What's up with that? Well....Gommy chooses to flip that one too. Fair is fair....For example....Gommy started thinking about the one belief in a certain religion that says that unless you are baptized you will not get into heaven. Really? Seriously? Is God really that petty that He will not allow someone into His Kingdom because they haven't had the luxury of being baptized? Or because they don't wear a burka or a veil covering their face? Or we don't think a cow is sacred. Or because they spoke His name in vain? If that is so, there are many parents out there who have disowned their children because little Jimmy or Jane has told them at one time or another...."I hate you!!!" OOPS, gotcha' there.....we still love them because they are our children. Just as we are ALL God's children.
What about the person who lives in the remotest part of the world and has never been to a Church or a Synagogue or a Mosque....who has never had any outside contact with the civilized world? Do they get a pass? Now wait just a doggone minute here...that would make God a God that takes sides....Don't think so peeps. God does not have an ego.....God does not punish people for things out of their control. We can't have it both ways people. If God is the magnificent, benevolent, forgiving.....loving.....omnisciencent God, that Goms believes He is....He will love everyone the same and not punish those who didn't follow the doctrine of religions (who have many man made rules that were made up as they went anyhow) or who haven't gone to church with a covering on their head, or worked on the Sabbath, or agreed to having a blood transfusion to save their life or the life of a loved one, or prayed for eighteen hours everyday.....and on and on.
God gave us free will to live our lives in a joyous way. We were given all the beauty, blissful experiences, people and tools to ALLOW us to be happy. The mistakes we make are of our own doing. God didn't make anything happen 'to us'. If bad stuff is happening to us, we did it all to ourselves. We brought it to us ourselves. Gommy knows this is a very hard 'pill to swallow' and it is too complicated to go into on this blog today.....maybe another time...or maybe not. We all have to come to our beliefs at our own speed and when WE are ready. You know the old saying....."You can bring a horse to water....but you can't make him drink." We each come to our own beliefs in our own time.....and not one second sooner.
Now on to a less 'touchy' subject. The essence of enjoying our lives is to be happy. Don't make waves when we don't have to. That isn't to say we should become 'doormats' either. But stop sweating the small stuff....and in reality.....it is mostly all small stuff. Try to see other aspects or sides to the 'lessons' we seemingly keep having put in front of us. Ask yourself, "Is this worth any extra precious time I have to dwell on it?" We only have a certain amount of time allotted to us on this journey....use it well. Don't throw it away. ENJOY....there is soooooo much out there to be grateful for.....if you just look with your heart instead of your head sometimes.
Lesson for today.....Look for other ways to 'learn your lessons' by seeing that our perspectives are narrow, only if we refuse to step back and see the bigger picture. It is ALL good peeps. Try to fit in as the observer sometimes and not be the WIZARD of all things... all of the time! Remember that we don't get do-overs, we can't delete problems, skip a challenge that must be faced, or avoid all of the unpleasant situations of life.....but we can try to "Look for the Silver Lining' in them if possible. Have a great day boys and girls....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Take for example, the idea of an argument. If there are two people involved in the tussle....then there are obviously two schools of thinking about the thing they are disagreeing about. Right? If we could, somehow, put ourselves in the other persons' shoes, so to speak, we may loosen our grasp (or grip) on thinking that just our way of thinking about the issue at hand is the ONLY way to look at it.
'Turn it Around' could also apply to when we have something to do that is distasteful, or that we have gotten ourselves into a situation and we wished we hadn't or we find ourselves in a scenario that we feel we have been pushed into. If we try to look (and sometimes we have to really dig at it) to find some redeeming value in doing the nasty thing we have to do.....or see a benefit somewhere for ourselves in doing it...or think of how something good may come of it after all....we may just be able to re-frame how we are feeling about it. Some of you are probably too young...but there was an old song that applies here...."Look for the Silver Lining." Get it???
If we have agreed to something that we weren't entirely 'on board' with, but did so to keep the peace.....and we find that we just can't seem to 'drink the whole glass of kool-aid'....then we may just have to put the experience in our pile marked - "Lesson Learned." And if we have indeed learned the 'lesson', then the next time something comes along that we can 'feel' a bit of that deja' vu sense of, "Oh no you don't... or Oh no you di-ent", we can now have that auto-reflex (also known as the hair on the back of your neck rising.....or a gut-wrenching in your innermost psyche), come to the foreground and stop us in our tracks before we have another 'lesson' to learn. If we are very slow learners....guess what?....you will be put back in the 'class' until you have thoroughly and completely learned your 'lesson'. SORRY :-(
If the same argument is with your significant other and it seems to be coming up all the time......you have to try to 'flip' it or reverse roles and try to see your partners' side of the issue. Gommy wants to interject here though that there are usually three sides in most spousal or relationship arguments.....His - Hers - and THE TRUTH (or hers/hers and the truth or his/his and the truth....don't want to leave anyone out here peeps).... but sorry boys and girls....that is just the way it is. We can usually only see our side of the situation....but to be fair....we have to see how the other person views the disagreement. Now, this is a hard one because you have to be with the other person ALOT.....you can't avoid them as you might be able to do at work, or a friend who is disagreeable or a customer that you won't have to contend with once your business with them is concluded. Your spouse or spousal equivalent is ALWAYS right there....right there in your face.....yapping, yapping, yapping their side of the issue. OOPS....Goms got off on a tangent there. Sorry. ;-]]]]]
Another biggie that Gommy thinks about all the time is the way organized religions all over the world think that only their religion is the right one. What's up with that? Well....Gommy chooses to flip that one too. Fair is fair....For example....Gommy started thinking about the one belief in a certain religion that says that unless you are baptized you will not get into heaven. Really? Seriously? Is God really that petty that He will not allow someone into His Kingdom because they haven't had the luxury of being baptized? Or because they don't wear a burka or a veil covering their face? Or we don't think a cow is sacred. Or because they spoke His name in vain? If that is so, there are many parents out there who have disowned their children because little Jimmy or Jane has told them at one time or another...."I hate you!!!" OOPS, gotcha' there.....we still love them because they are our children. Just as we are ALL God's children.
What about the person who lives in the remotest part of the world and has never been to a Church or a Synagogue or a Mosque....who has never had any outside contact with the civilized world? Do they get a pass? Now wait just a doggone minute here...that would make God a God that takes sides....Don't think so peeps. God does not have an ego.....God does not punish people for things out of their control. We can't have it both ways people. If God is the magnificent, benevolent, forgiving.....loving.....omnisciencent God, that Goms believes He is....He will love everyone the same and not punish those who didn't follow the doctrine of religions (who have many man made rules that were made up as they went anyhow) or who haven't gone to church with a covering on their head, or worked on the Sabbath, or agreed to having a blood transfusion to save their life or the life of a loved one, or prayed for eighteen hours everyday.....and on and on.
God gave us free will to live our lives in a joyous way. We were given all the beauty, blissful experiences, people and tools to ALLOW us to be happy. The mistakes we make are of our own doing. God didn't make anything happen 'to us'. If bad stuff is happening to us, we did it all to ourselves. We brought it to us ourselves. Gommy knows this is a very hard 'pill to swallow' and it is too complicated to go into on this blog today.....maybe another time...or maybe not. We all have to come to our beliefs at our own speed and when WE are ready. You know the old saying....."You can bring a horse to water....but you can't make him drink." We each come to our own beliefs in our own time.....and not one second sooner.
Now on to a less 'touchy' subject. The essence of enjoying our lives is to be happy. Don't make waves when we don't have to. That isn't to say we should become 'doormats' either. But stop sweating the small stuff....and in reality.....it is mostly all small stuff. Try to see other aspects or sides to the 'lessons' we seemingly keep having put in front of us. Ask yourself, "Is this worth any extra precious time I have to dwell on it?" We only have a certain amount of time allotted to us on this journey....use it well. Don't throw it away. ENJOY....there is soooooo much out there to be grateful for.....if you just look with your heart instead of your head sometimes.
Lesson for today.....Look for other ways to 'learn your lessons' by seeing that our perspectives are narrow, only if we refuse to step back and see the bigger picture. It is ALL good peeps. Try to fit in as the observer sometimes and not be the WIZARD of all things... all of the time! Remember that we don't get do-overs, we can't delete problems, skip a challenge that must be faced, or avoid all of the unpleasant situations of life.....but we can try to "Look for the Silver Lining' in them if possible. Have a great day boys and girls....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Are You a Willow or an Oak?
Splendid Sunday to all! Another glorious week of experiencing and learning and being thankful for it all. This week, Gommy had the great pleasure of connecting with someone who is soooooo far ahead of Gommy in the enlightenment department that it turned out to be a wonderful week of learning for Goms. And Gommy has always loved, loved, loved learning.
During our conversations.....the topic came up of how people are so different in their beliefs, biases, outlooks, mode of living, etc. We eventually got around to talking about those people who are very Black OR White. There is no gray in their way of living or thinking. For the purposes of Gommys' blog today....we will also refer to those people as Willows or Oaks.
When you think of a Willow Tree, you picture a beautiful and graceful tree that bends in the wind. It goes with the flow....so to speak. When you think of an Oak Tree, you picture a strong, rigid and mighty tree that no amount of wind can cause it to sway. But the problem with rigidity is that eventually, it can snap and break. Gommy has seen ginornous Oak trees actually snapped in half from the 'strongest' winds of a hurricane.
Now the Willow tree will bend and sway......it will actually bend all the way over and touch the ground....but when the wind ceases....it springs back up again in it's rightful position. It can still go on living. You can see how it is better to be able to bend than to stand too strong and be able to be snapped in half and cease being the big, strong and mighty one. We all have our Achilles heels of life. That one....or those two things that can cause us to crumble, tumble and fall from our safe little cocoon of 'Life'.
As my new friend and I further discussed these Willow/Oak types of folks, we exchanged some of our own perspectives on different people and situations that we personally knew who exemplified these personalities. In our exchange of ideas and viewpoints, my new friend pointed out that....." the black or white people do seem to often find themselves in stressful situations because of their Blk/Wh views. But I have observed that what often seems to happen is that they will eventually present themselves experiences that they cannot ignore, or dismiss, or walk away from. And these experiences fracture and/or stretch their tight little Blk/Wh viewpoint. And they begin to soften, and be open to other things." WOW....how true is that peeps?
As referenced above, Gommy knows, first hand, that this is true. There is a family Gommy can think of in particular, who consider themselves to be the very epitome of Christians. But if you look closely at their inability to forgive others or listen to the times they talk about other people, or notice their prejudices......you will see they are only fooling themselves. There have been developments in their lives that have caused them to reflect on what they now view as acceptable. Then there is another friend who had a child out of wedlock and is also of another race. The grandparents have had to come to terms with their old prejudices and now love this grandchild.....no matter what race it is. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is promising that the children escaped the usual handed down beliefs of the parents. How could those parents not love their children and the grandchildren that came from those unions? They cannot! That is the 'lesson'.
Gommy wants to FESS-UP....right here and right now that there have been times that 'lessons' had to be learned the hard way for Goms too. But after realizing that 'it is what it is'....and we can all make mistakes......and our path may not be the path that is right for everyone......Gommy did find that admitting being wrong wasn't the end of the world. It was just the end of a misunderstanding....or the end of a 'no win' situation and the reality that everyone is not at the same juncture of our journey on this earth experience.
The point that Gommy is trying to make is that the universe has a way of jarring our beliefs at times. It is the mirror being held up in front of you and you have to admit that you were wrong. And when your own children are the ones that are doing the very same thing you have always 'preached' against...it somehow causes the person to have to soften their beliefs on that subject...either change (or modify your beliefs) or rebuke and turn their back on their own children. It is the best possible 'tool' that the universe could use...because unless you are so stubborn that you won't change your stance on the situation....you will soften and bend because of the love that you have for your children. It this sense..... it is absolutely true that 'Love Conquers All." Somehow....a little 'light' is shed on the situation and little by little we are shown that it isn't all Black or White or Willow or Oak after all. If it had been someone elses' children...the stubborn one could have kept on with their 'bad attitude' way of thinking.....but when it is our own children involved.....we cannot resist protecting them ....even if it means WE have to do the changing in our way of acceptance. That little 'crack' will allow for more acceptance and tolerance to ooze through.....if we let it. If we 'learn the lesson' we were supposed to learn.
So.....try to be a little less rigid in the way you see things. There may come a time where you are forced to change the way you feel about something. And that is not a bad thing. It is growth.....a growth toward going with the flow.....live and let live....minding your own business.....playing nice with others.....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush everyone.
During our conversations.....the topic came up of how people are so different in their beliefs, biases, outlooks, mode of living, etc. We eventually got around to talking about those people who are very Black OR White. There is no gray in their way of living or thinking. For the purposes of Gommys' blog today....we will also refer to those people as Willows or Oaks.
When you think of a Willow Tree, you picture a beautiful and graceful tree that bends in the wind. It goes with the flow....so to speak. When you think of an Oak Tree, you picture a strong, rigid and mighty tree that no amount of wind can cause it to sway. But the problem with rigidity is that eventually, it can snap and break. Gommy has seen ginornous Oak trees actually snapped in half from the 'strongest' winds of a hurricane.
Now the Willow tree will bend and sway......it will actually bend all the way over and touch the ground....but when the wind ceases....it springs back up again in it's rightful position. It can still go on living. You can see how it is better to be able to bend than to stand too strong and be able to be snapped in half and cease being the big, strong and mighty one. We all have our Achilles heels of life. That one....or those two things that can cause us to crumble, tumble and fall from our safe little cocoon of 'Life'.
As my new friend and I further discussed these Willow/Oak types of folks, we exchanged some of our own perspectives on different people and situations that we personally knew who exemplified these personalities. In our exchange of ideas and viewpoints, my new friend pointed out that....." the black or white people do seem to often find themselves in stressful situations because of their Blk/Wh views. But I have observed that what often seems to happen is that they will eventually present themselves experiences that they cannot ignore, or dismiss, or walk away from. And these experiences fracture and/or stretch their tight little Blk/Wh viewpoint. And they begin to soften, and be open to other things." WOW....how true is that peeps?
As referenced above, Gommy knows, first hand, that this is true. There is a family Gommy can think of in particular, who consider themselves to be the very epitome of Christians. But if you look closely at their inability to forgive others or listen to the times they talk about other people, or notice their prejudices......you will see they are only fooling themselves. There have been developments in their lives that have caused them to reflect on what they now view as acceptable. Then there is another friend who had a child out of wedlock and is also of another race. The grandparents have had to come to terms with their old prejudices and now love this grandchild.....no matter what race it is. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is promising that the children escaped the usual handed down beliefs of the parents. How could those parents not love their children and the grandchildren that came from those unions? They cannot! That is the 'lesson'.
Gommy wants to FESS-UP....right here and right now that there have been times that 'lessons' had to be learned the hard way for Goms too. But after realizing that 'it is what it is'....and we can all make mistakes......and our path may not be the path that is right for everyone......Gommy did find that admitting being wrong wasn't the end of the world. It was just the end of a misunderstanding....or the end of a 'no win' situation and the reality that everyone is not at the same juncture of our journey on this earth experience.
The point that Gommy is trying to make is that the universe has a way of jarring our beliefs at times. It is the mirror being held up in front of you and you have to admit that you were wrong. And when your own children are the ones that are doing the very same thing you have always 'preached' against...it somehow causes the person to have to soften their beliefs on that subject...either change (or modify your beliefs) or rebuke and turn their back on their own children. It is the best possible 'tool' that the universe could use...because unless you are so stubborn that you won't change your stance on the situation....you will soften and bend because of the love that you have for your children. It this sense..... it is absolutely true that 'Love Conquers All." Somehow....a little 'light' is shed on the situation and little by little we are shown that it isn't all Black or White or Willow or Oak after all. If it had been someone elses' children...the stubborn one could have kept on with their 'bad attitude' way of thinking.....but when it is our own children involved.....we cannot resist protecting them ....even if it means WE have to do the changing in our way of acceptance. That little 'crack' will allow for more acceptance and tolerance to ooze through.....if we let it. If we 'learn the lesson' we were supposed to learn.
So.....try to be a little less rigid in the way you see things. There may come a time where you are forced to change the way you feel about something. And that is not a bad thing. It is growth.....a growth toward going with the flow.....live and let live....minding your own business.....playing nice with others.....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush everyone.
Friday, August 20, 2010
WAKE UP!!!!
Hello boys and girls. Today is Friday and the end of another work week for many. Have you ever noticed how you get ready for work every day and you do the routine (habits) the same way, every day, while you are getting ready, i.e. turn off the alarm, go to the bathroom, take a shower, dress.....somewhere in there you may have made yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea.....had a bowl of cereal.....made some toast? Then you drove your car.....or you caught the bus, subway, train.....or whatever means of transportation you use. When you get to work, you start your day at the office/construction site/company and work until it's lunch, then back to whatever you do until it is time to go back home and do what you do until it's time to go bed and sleep and then you get up and do it all over again.
These habits are much like our behaviors and our beliefs. We 'learn' them or believe them by doing them over and over again and they become our patterns. We expect what will happen, as well as we believe what we have been told over and over again. Sometimes, we find that our patterns aren't working out very well for us and we find that we are in a 'rut' or we are feeling unfulfilled or we are just spinning our wheels.
But we can change our patterns/habits/beliefs. I like to think of the analogy of a mouse in a maze. After much conditioning and having it pointed out to the mouse that there is a piece of cheese at the end of the maze.....the mouse will turn left, then right, then left.....left....right...or whatever pattern he has come to believe will get him to the cheese. And he will do it every time.... because he has done it over and over and it is now a habit or a belief that the cheese is indeed there at the end of the maze. But what if you put the mouse in a 'cheese maze'? The WHOLE maze is now made up of a giant wheel of cheese. Guess what? The mouse will not even realize the maze is made of cheese and will still go left, right, left....left....right...etc. until he gets his 'usual piece of cheese.' He could actually have had the whole wheel of cheese that was just disguised as a maze! A-MAZE-ing right?
That is how many of us go through life. We just live life out of the habits, patterns and beliefs we have come to be comfortable with.....thinking it is the best way because it is how we have always done it. We have witnessed the same outcome every time. Without even realizing that there may be another way or a better way or an easier way right under our noses.
We look to change our conditioned beliefs when they no longer work for our good. When we feel our way of doing things isn't working for us any longer. When we are not getting along with the people at work....or a family member.....or the way we are raising our children seems not to be having the desired outcome we had 'planned'. When the 'club' we have chosen to join (our friends or close relationships), feels like maybe we shouldn't have joined that particular organization. So, we begin to feel uneasy about our choices, and only then do we begin to look around for another path or ideal or for a different way out of the maze.
As an example.....maybe you are the kind of person who has to have the last word in every argument. But you find that lately you are having waaaay too many arguments and they are unresolved because you find you are unable to ever admit any wrongdoing on your part. How's that working for you? OK? Seriously????? Maybe you could try not having the last word the next time you are having an argument and agree that you may have had something to do with 'whatever'...... BAM.....you will not believe how the dynamic of the situation changes. There is a quiet peaceful 'death' of the toxic feelings between you and the other person.
Or how about you are the sort of person who feels they are doing their job extremely well and with the utmost of care and sincerity about your responsibilities? Then a co-worker tries to derail you by telling the boss an untruth about you. You quit your position because you just can't bear working there any longer, thinking that the boss believed the other co-worker. What if you just let the co-worker do their dirty work and lie about you and you just continue going about doing your best, as you always have? You are the better person for having let the co-worker be the one who will have to face their own Karma and you will not have taken anything away from yourself. Let sleeping 'dogs' lie. Or to frame it another way.....just let lying dogs sleep....tee, hee!
If you are finding yourself in the 'habit' of feeling unrest, unhappiness, or you are having feelings of being unfulfilled......look around for ways to 'get' to the end of the maze by an easier route. If you are unfulfilled.....there may be something right under your nose that you have not noticed.... that could ultimately end up being your Dharma (hearts' desire)......Or if you are unhappy with a family member or your spouse....try not giving unsolicited advice or stubbornly feel you have to have the last word every time. Ask yourself..."Do I want peace or do I want to be right all the time?"
So 'WAKE UP' peeps. Look around for another way out of your maze. Remember that 'Enlightenment' means to awaken. It isn't all woo-woo ethereal mumbo-jumbo. It just means to become aware of how your habits, routines, behaviors and beliefs are working for you at any given time. If they aren't working for you.........toss them out. It takes practice and patience. In Gommy's experience.....it took lots and lots of patience. You need to learn new ways to 'think and feel' about how you look at things. Because, as a wise person once said (Wayne Dyer) .....'when you change the way you look at things.....the things you look at change." Old habits are hard to break.....but the ones that are not doing you service any longer are just impeding you from enjoying life.....and we are all meant to be enjoying this wonderful journey called "Life".
When you start seeing the results of how situations, patterns, habits, beliefs and thoughts that are not serving you any longer can change.....and when looking at other ways to deal with them can actually resolve the trouble you are having in dealing with them.....you will be astonished at how you can start making things go the way YOU wish they could.
So....happy detours everyone. It can be fun to see just how well it works for you. Start small at first. Maybe with something that isn't 'the end of the world' important to you. Maybe you can just try not answering back one time on a little disagreement. Maybe the next time your daughter-in-law is doing something you disapprove of.....keep a lid on it. "Stifle Edith"...as Archie Bunker used to say. (Loved that man)! He said so many things we would all love to say but don't dare say! Or the next time your co-worker does something that annoys you.....try to ignore them and keep on doing your best. Or if your child is throwing a hissy-fit and your usual response is to give in when they are at the 'wailing wall'.....don't pay them any attention.....walk away. They'll get the hint eventually that their negative behavior isn't getting the usual 'reward' of your undivided attention. You can do it........Gommy is pulling for you. Have a great weekend boys and girls. Hugs & Mush....Gommy
These habits are much like our behaviors and our beliefs. We 'learn' them or believe them by doing them over and over again and they become our patterns. We expect what will happen, as well as we believe what we have been told over and over again. Sometimes, we find that our patterns aren't working out very well for us and we find that we are in a 'rut' or we are feeling unfulfilled or we are just spinning our wheels.
But we can change our patterns/habits/beliefs. I like to think of the analogy of a mouse in a maze. After much conditioning and having it pointed out to the mouse that there is a piece of cheese at the end of the maze.....the mouse will turn left, then right, then left.....left....right...or whatever pattern he has come to believe will get him to the cheese. And he will do it every time.... because he has done it over and over and it is now a habit or a belief that the cheese is indeed there at the end of the maze. But what if you put the mouse in a 'cheese maze'? The WHOLE maze is now made up of a giant wheel of cheese. Guess what? The mouse will not even realize the maze is made of cheese and will still go left, right, left....left....right...etc. until he gets his 'usual piece of cheese.' He could actually have had the whole wheel of cheese that was just disguised as a maze! A-MAZE-ing right?
That is how many of us go through life. We just live life out of the habits, patterns and beliefs we have come to be comfortable with.....thinking it is the best way because it is how we have always done it. We have witnessed the same outcome every time. Without even realizing that there may be another way or a better way or an easier way right under our noses.
We look to change our conditioned beliefs when they no longer work for our good. When we feel our way of doing things isn't working for us any longer. When we are not getting along with the people at work....or a family member.....or the way we are raising our children seems not to be having the desired outcome we had 'planned'. When the 'club' we have chosen to join (our friends or close relationships), feels like maybe we shouldn't have joined that particular organization. So, we begin to feel uneasy about our choices, and only then do we begin to look around for another path or ideal or for a different way out of the maze.
As an example.....maybe you are the kind of person who has to have the last word in every argument. But you find that lately you are having waaaay too many arguments and they are unresolved because you find you are unable to ever admit any wrongdoing on your part. How's that working for you? OK? Seriously????? Maybe you could try not having the last word the next time you are having an argument and agree that you may have had something to do with 'whatever'...... BAM.....you will not believe how the dynamic of the situation changes. There is a quiet peaceful 'death' of the toxic feelings between you and the other person.
Or how about you are the sort of person who feels they are doing their job extremely well and with the utmost of care and sincerity about your responsibilities? Then a co-worker tries to derail you by telling the boss an untruth about you. You quit your position because you just can't bear working there any longer, thinking that the boss believed the other co-worker. What if you just let the co-worker do their dirty work and lie about you and you just continue going about doing your best, as you always have? You are the better person for having let the co-worker be the one who will have to face their own Karma and you will not have taken anything away from yourself. Let sleeping 'dogs' lie. Or to frame it another way.....just let lying dogs sleep....tee, hee!
If you are finding yourself in the 'habit' of feeling unrest, unhappiness, or you are having feelings of being unfulfilled......look around for ways to 'get' to the end of the maze by an easier route. If you are unfulfilled.....there may be something right under your nose that you have not noticed.... that could ultimately end up being your Dharma (hearts' desire)......Or if you are unhappy with a family member or your spouse....try not giving unsolicited advice or stubbornly feel you have to have the last word every time. Ask yourself..."Do I want peace or do I want to be right all the time?"
So 'WAKE UP' peeps. Look around for another way out of your maze. Remember that 'Enlightenment' means to awaken. It isn't all woo-woo ethereal mumbo-jumbo. It just means to become aware of how your habits, routines, behaviors and beliefs are working for you at any given time. If they aren't working for you.........toss them out. It takes practice and patience. In Gommy's experience.....it took lots and lots of patience. You need to learn new ways to 'think and feel' about how you look at things. Because, as a wise person once said (Wayne Dyer) .....'when you change the way you look at things.....the things you look at change." Old habits are hard to break.....but the ones that are not doing you service any longer are just impeding you from enjoying life.....and we are all meant to be enjoying this wonderful journey called "Life".
When you start seeing the results of how situations, patterns, habits, beliefs and thoughts that are not serving you any longer can change.....and when looking at other ways to deal with them can actually resolve the trouble you are having in dealing with them.....you will be astonished at how you can start making things go the way YOU wish they could.
So....happy detours everyone. It can be fun to see just how well it works for you. Start small at first. Maybe with something that isn't 'the end of the world' important to you. Maybe you can just try not answering back one time on a little disagreement. Maybe the next time your daughter-in-law is doing something you disapprove of.....keep a lid on it. "Stifle Edith"...as Archie Bunker used to say. (Loved that man)! He said so many things we would all love to say but don't dare say! Or the next time your co-worker does something that annoys you.....try to ignore them and keep on doing your best. Or if your child is throwing a hissy-fit and your usual response is to give in when they are at the 'wailing wall'.....don't pay them any attention.....walk away. They'll get the hint eventually that their negative behavior isn't getting the usual 'reward' of your undivided attention. You can do it........Gommy is pulling for you. Have a great weekend boys and girls. Hugs & Mush....Gommy
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Are You a Control Freak?
Hi boys and girls....Gommy wonders how many of us are control freaks? We all know some don't we? We may even BE one. You know them....they are the back seat drivers, the mothers who know how to raise their child and (everyone elses for that matter!), the husband or wife who has to orchestrate every detail of every minute of the entire family's life, the co-worker who takes on the lion's share of responsibility because no one else could ever get it right. Or how about the family member who always decides where the family reunion will be....how much it will cost...what part of the year it will be held....GAG!!!!!
Have you ever wondered why they (or you) feel you have to control every little sickening detail of every little thing that goes on? It is always 'fear driven.' The fear that unless they (or you) are in charge...it will somehow blow up and not go right (at least according to the control freak, that is). The control freak doesn't really do all of this 'stuff' to be cruel, bossy or mean. They really feel they are protecting the world from making monumental mistakes. Mistakes that only they...in their infinite wisdom, can help to avoid. Gommy is not advocating making mistakes...but to achieve successes, we have to take a chance sometimes.
The insipid thing about control freaks is that they use cunning, fear, guilt, intimidation and manipulation to get to have their way. That isn't nice people....so if you are doing that...STOP IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE! It will only blow up in your face one day.....when the person or people you are holding your superiority over has had enough and bolts! It's just a fact of life. When someone or something is held down or against their will for long enough.....they explode and run as fast as they can AWAY from the thing or person who is smothering them. The very thing the control freak is afraid of.... is the very same thing they are causing to happen.
Ever wonder if YOU may be a control freak? Want to step on on a limb and take a little test? Answer some of these questions to get a peek....1) Are you afraid to think someone elses' opinion may be better than yours? 2) Do you often give unsolicited advice? 3) Do you obsess and check and recheck yours and other people's work 4) Do you often feel that unless you are in charge of something, it won't end up well? And for a question that is the most revealing.....5) Is "Know it All" your other name? If you answered 'Yes' to most of these questions....Gommy has a scoop for ya'.....YOU ARE A CONTROL FREAK!
The hardest thing for a control freak to do is to be flexible. Being flexible means not having things go the way YOU want or expect them to go. It means that the 'screaching monkey-talk' in your head is going way out of 'control' and you can't hear the voice of reason any longer. Stop being so anxiety ridden that you have to be a 'helicopter' parent, spouse, co-worker, boss or friend and keep hovering over everything to make sure it goes the right way (actually YOUR way....which is the better way right?) Not necessarily boys and girls. Other people can have good ideas too.
Well if you are projecting these unpleasant characteristics with those around you....Gommy has another question for your. HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU PEEPS???? Gommy's guess is....not very well. Just when you think you have all of Jack....back in the box.....YIKES.....he comes popping right back out and you try to stuff him back in...again and again. But one of these times....Jack is going to escape. So watch out....You will finally be in control....but you will only be controlling yourself from then on because everyone else will have run away...because let's face it....no one enjoys being around a control freak for very long.
If you are the 'victim' ( Gommy hates to use that word because there are no victims....there are only those who allow things to happen to them).....then you may feel better knowing the control freak doesn't have it out for you. Many times, they actually have a very high regard for you or in the case of a spouse....they love you...maybe too much. In many cases, they are actually fearing the loss of you. This is a prime example of someone who is jealous. These people are really just insecure in themselves.
The best way to 'deal' with a control freak is to find a time when they are feeling 'safe'. Let them know, in the workplace for example, that you like your job.....you aren't out to get their job and you take your job seriously and want to do your best too. In the case of a spouse, let them know that you love them and do not want to find anyone else....but that you are not comfortable with them making all the decisions for the family.
If you are the control freak yourself, you have to tell yourself that by letting someone else make some decisions....it doesn't lesson who you are or diminish your value. Gommy promises you that when you see that the whole world didn't fall apart while you weren't running it.....you will be able to let go and enjoy a little at a time. Try it....it is much easier being the guest than the host....Gommy has been both and has decided to be the guest from now on and give up the hostess position. LOL ;-]
So "AT EASE' control freaks of the world. Let it be......as the great Beatles song goes. Sit back....enjoy.....let go of the reins for a bit. Everything will be okay.....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs and Mush
Have you ever wondered why they (or you) feel you have to control every little sickening detail of every little thing that goes on? It is always 'fear driven.' The fear that unless they (or you) are in charge...it will somehow blow up and not go right (at least according to the control freak, that is). The control freak doesn't really do all of this 'stuff' to be cruel, bossy or mean. They really feel they are protecting the world from making monumental mistakes. Mistakes that only they...in their infinite wisdom, can help to avoid. Gommy is not advocating making mistakes...but to achieve successes, we have to take a chance sometimes.
The insipid thing about control freaks is that they use cunning, fear, guilt, intimidation and manipulation to get to have their way. That isn't nice people....so if you are doing that...STOP IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE! It will only blow up in your face one day.....when the person or people you are holding your superiority over has had enough and bolts! It's just a fact of life. When someone or something is held down or against their will for long enough.....they explode and run as fast as they can AWAY from the thing or person who is smothering them. The very thing the control freak is afraid of.... is the very same thing they are causing to happen.
Ever wonder if YOU may be a control freak? Want to step on on a limb and take a little test? Answer some of these questions to get a peek....1) Are you afraid to think someone elses' opinion may be better than yours? 2) Do you often give unsolicited advice? 3) Do you obsess and check and recheck yours and other people's work 4) Do you often feel that unless you are in charge of something, it won't end up well? And for a question that is the most revealing.....5) Is "Know it All" your other name? If you answered 'Yes' to most of these questions....Gommy has a scoop for ya'.....YOU ARE A CONTROL FREAK!
The hardest thing for a control freak to do is to be flexible. Being flexible means not having things go the way YOU want or expect them to go. It means that the 'screaching monkey-talk' in your head is going way out of 'control' and you can't hear the voice of reason any longer. Stop being so anxiety ridden that you have to be a 'helicopter' parent, spouse, co-worker, boss or friend and keep hovering over everything to make sure it goes the right way (actually YOUR way....which is the better way right?) Not necessarily boys and girls. Other people can have good ideas too.
Well if you are projecting these unpleasant characteristics with those around you....Gommy has another question for your. HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU PEEPS???? Gommy's guess is....not very well. Just when you think you have all of Jack....back in the box.....YIKES.....he comes popping right back out and you try to stuff him back in...again and again. But one of these times....Jack is going to escape. So watch out....You will finally be in control....but you will only be controlling yourself from then on because everyone else will have run away...because let's face it....no one enjoys being around a control freak for very long.
If you are the 'victim' ( Gommy hates to use that word because there are no victims....there are only those who allow things to happen to them).....then you may feel better knowing the control freak doesn't have it out for you. Many times, they actually have a very high regard for you or in the case of a spouse....they love you...maybe too much. In many cases, they are actually fearing the loss of you. This is a prime example of someone who is jealous. These people are really just insecure in themselves.
The best way to 'deal' with a control freak is to find a time when they are feeling 'safe'. Let them know, in the workplace for example, that you like your job.....you aren't out to get their job and you take your job seriously and want to do your best too. In the case of a spouse, let them know that you love them and do not want to find anyone else....but that you are not comfortable with them making all the decisions for the family.
If you are the control freak yourself, you have to tell yourself that by letting someone else make some decisions....it doesn't lesson who you are or diminish your value. Gommy promises you that when you see that the whole world didn't fall apart while you weren't running it.....you will be able to let go and enjoy a little at a time. Try it....it is much easier being the guest than the host....Gommy has been both and has decided to be the guest from now on and give up the hostess position. LOL ;-]
So "AT EASE' control freaks of the world. Let it be......as the great Beatles song goes. Sit back....enjoy.....let go of the reins for a bit. Everything will be okay.....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs and Mush
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Hey YOU!
Hi everyone. Is everybody calm today? Gommy asks because there is a lot of coverage on the news the last few days about a flight attendant who 'flipped out' and screamed back at a person traveling on his flight who hit him in the head with their suitcase while getting it down from the overhead compartment. There doesn't seem to be any backlash coming out of it for him either. Instead, there seems to be more of a......"You go guy! or You tell em'...or I wish I could tell some of the customers I have to deal with to bug off!" He is practically a hero among people who have to put up with other people in their jobs.
Should the steward have retaliated and screamed back at the passenger? No, not at all. But do we sometimes have our buttons pushed so much that we just react instead of respond? Most certainly. It would appear that the steward should have seen the problem coming, if he was feeling stressed lately as he said. We all know when we are feeling stressed and put upon. It would have been better had he taken a look and asked himself if he might want to work in a different capacity with the airline for a change. And if that still included working with the public. Gommy is pretty sure he will be having that decision made for him now. But he better not let people annoying him get to him in prison.....if that is where he ends up after all this. Those guys don't play well with others either. YIKES! If you would just think of the consequences of your actions....you may just simmer down a bit.
This is what 'civilization' (or the lack of it) has come to in the last while. The rudeness of people is rampant. Gommy has worked with the public for several years and it never ceases to amaze how people think that the service industry is made up of door mats. Gommy thought my name was "Hey' for a long time...(it's not....it's Gommy). And if the customers aren't rude....then they think you are invisible....that is until they need you for something and then it's Hey YOU!!!.
One of Gommy's positions was at an ice-cream/candy shoppe and part of the job was greeting people as they came into the store. You would not believe how many people just walk on by and never even nod their heads at you when you speak to them. It became almost (I emphasize the word....ALMOST) funny at times. Gommy would sometimes raise my voice level while greeting them. Still........several of the customers would just walked by and never acknowledged me....that is if Gommy weren't the persistent one that I am. It became a challenge to make the person look my way and acknowledge being greeted and to at least smile.
In the case of the passenger in the airplane that hit the poor guy in the head and cussed at HIM....Gommy never could understand why everyone is so eager to jump up out of their seats and grab their belongings so they can get off the plane.....Here is a flash for them..........everyone gets off in order, by their aisle assignments....single file and from the front to the back. DUH! You don't have to jump up (and usually hit your own head) and think you are getting out any faster than anyone else. What is the big deal about being first all the time? It isn't like it's going to make a whole heck of a lot of difference if you get off the plane 2 minutes later. Calm down!
Maybe the passenger was having a bad day.....maybe they had a connecting flight and were afraid they were going to miss it. But, whatever the reason, it is never okay to be abusive to someone because of your dilemma. As for the steward....he probably had just about enough of being abused. And everyone does have their saturation point. We never know what is going on in someones life and it appears that a whole lotta' people are kinda testy these days. So it doesn't take much to push them over the edge...........so be careful who you are rude to. You may just find yourself on TV, being interview by a reporter as to why you were such an ass.
Maybe that is it.....maybe the passenger thought their anonymity enabled them to be nasty. Perhaps we feel that when we don't know anyone and no one knows us.... we can act nasty or ugly (as they say in the South)....and we get a free pass or we can get away with it. But, we should always try to act like we would like to be treated. It never pays to take out whatever is bugging us on someone else. Take deep breaths or something....but geesh..... don't spew out your nastiness on the world! It's 'customer service' not 'customer abuse the server'!
So, Gommys lessons for today is.....be nice boys and girls. You aren't the only ones having a bad day. How would you like someone to hit you in the head with their suitcase and tell you to "F*** Off!"? You wouldn't.....Gommys knows you wouldn't. So if you go acting a fool....... ..one of these days you are going to run into someone else who has just about had it with putting up with fools. Be careful how you treat people....Gommy is watching you! Hugs & Mush....((*~*))
Should the steward have retaliated and screamed back at the passenger? No, not at all. But do we sometimes have our buttons pushed so much that we just react instead of respond? Most certainly. It would appear that the steward should have seen the problem coming, if he was feeling stressed lately as he said. We all know when we are feeling stressed and put upon. It would have been better had he taken a look and asked himself if he might want to work in a different capacity with the airline for a change. And if that still included working with the public. Gommy is pretty sure he will be having that decision made for him now. But he better not let people annoying him get to him in prison.....if that is where he ends up after all this. Those guys don't play well with others either. YIKES! If you would just think of the consequences of your actions....you may just simmer down a bit.
This is what 'civilization' (or the lack of it) has come to in the last while. The rudeness of people is rampant. Gommy has worked with the public for several years and it never ceases to amaze how people think that the service industry is made up of door mats. Gommy thought my name was "Hey' for a long time...(it's not....it's Gommy). And if the customers aren't rude....then they think you are invisible....that is until they need you for something and then it's Hey YOU!!!.
One of Gommy's positions was at an ice-cream/candy shoppe and part of the job was greeting people as they came into the store. You would not believe how many people just walk on by and never even nod their heads at you when you speak to them. It became almost (I emphasize the word....ALMOST) funny at times. Gommy would sometimes raise my voice level while greeting them. Still........several of the customers would just walked by and never acknowledged me....that is if Gommy weren't the persistent one that I am. It became a challenge to make the person look my way and acknowledge being greeted and to at least smile.
In the case of the passenger in the airplane that hit the poor guy in the head and cussed at HIM....Gommy never could understand why everyone is so eager to jump up out of their seats and grab their belongings so they can get off the plane.....Here is a flash for them..........everyone gets off in order, by their aisle assignments....single file and from the front to the back. DUH! You don't have to jump up (and usually hit your own head) and think you are getting out any faster than anyone else. What is the big deal about being first all the time? It isn't like it's going to make a whole heck of a lot of difference if you get off the plane 2 minutes later. Calm down!
Maybe the passenger was having a bad day.....maybe they had a connecting flight and were afraid they were going to miss it. But, whatever the reason, it is never okay to be abusive to someone because of your dilemma. As for the steward....he probably had just about enough of being abused. And everyone does have their saturation point. We never know what is going on in someones life and it appears that a whole lotta' people are kinda testy these days. So it doesn't take much to push them over the edge...........so be careful who you are rude to. You may just find yourself on TV, being interview by a reporter as to why you were such an ass.
Maybe that is it.....maybe the passenger thought their anonymity enabled them to be nasty. Perhaps we feel that when we don't know anyone and no one knows us.... we can act nasty or ugly (as they say in the South)....and we get a free pass or we can get away with it. But, we should always try to act like we would like to be treated. It never pays to take out whatever is bugging us on someone else. Take deep breaths or something....but geesh..... don't spew out your nastiness on the world! It's 'customer service' not 'customer abuse the server'!
So, Gommys lessons for today is.....be nice boys and girls. You aren't the only ones having a bad day. How would you like someone to hit you in the head with their suitcase and tell you to "F*** Off!"? You wouldn't.....Gommys knows you wouldn't. So if you go acting a fool....... ..one of these days you are going to run into someone else who has just about had it with putting up with fools. Be careful how you treat people....Gommy is watching you! Hugs & Mush....((*~*))
Monday, August 9, 2010
Good-Bye For Now
Have you ever seen a movie or read a book or witnessed something that touched you so much that it made you ask yourself questions that you thought you had put to rest a long time ago? Gommy saw a movie this week that was all about letting go....and saying good-bye when you weren't ready (as if we are ever ready). And what might happen if you give up and miss what might lie ahead for you.
There are many chapters to our lives. We start out as babies, and have every one of our needs taken care of for us. Then we go through our early developmental years and we begin to form our own likes and dislikes and this begins the process of breaking away and starting to choose things for ourselves. The teens years are filled with drama and strife (both for the parent and the child). A tug-of-war between generations and a need for the teen to see just how good or bad the decisions they are making really are.
College brings another chapter of discovery. We are no longer in the cocoon, where our parents are supplying us with their belief systems. But what we don't realize, is that we are just exchanging our parent's values and beliefs for our professors' slant on life. This period is probably the stage most people remain stuck in, when it comes to their politics and religion. But, it is the time we should really be investigating and discovering what is the right fit for us because this developed belief system is how we will make the important choices we make for rest of our life. Then we become parents ourselves and we hand down our formed belief system to our offspring. It is the circle of life.
But back to the movie.....It showed how we must let go at times to enable us to move forward. There is a quote that Gommy likes that goes..."Life is like a monkey-bar set at the playground. You have to let go of one rung if you are ever to reach for the next one...and ultimately get to the end." That is such a true analogy. We have to let go of things all the time....if we are to grow and learn and hopefully teach.
Some people hold on to their beliefs, even if they have been proven to be wrong. Even if it doesn't serve them as being useful any longer. Even if sticking to the doom of their belief, proves they will be stuck in the muck and mire of unhappiness. That is just a sad way to exist. If you don't allow yourself the chance to find a better way to think, act or believe....you just wilt away and that is a wasted life.
When Gommy's husband died several years ago.....there was really no option of giving up. There were three beautiful children to be taken care of and who needed their mother. When my two beautiful children died....there was no option of giving up because I had a very wonderful and precious daughter who still needed her mother. I thank God every day for giving me something to live for, when it seemed like giving up would have been the easy way to go. I have often said that I know God doesn't give you more than you can handle....but I wish He wouldn't trust me so much.
If I had given up at those horrible times in my life....I would never have been able to enjoy all the Blessings and joy I have been given since those awful times. I have, proudly, seen my daughter graduate from college and graduate school and go on to marry and start her own family. I have wonderful, amazing grandchildren who have provided some of the warmest and sweetest times, and fond memories to stuff in my 'Gommy memory box'. I have an amazing husband to share my remaining years with and enjoy our time together. All of these things I would have missed if I had just given up.
Gommy knows my loved ones are still with me. We will be together again.....some time, some where. As Wayne Dyers says.....one day, we will move from "No-Where to Now-Here". So boys and girls, cherish every day of this gift of life you are given. Know that you are not alone in your times of sadness. Some of us just get our losses all bunched together....and others have theirs spread out. But, the reality is....we all have to face losses and bad times in our lives. So, think of your loved ones and remember all the special times and precious moments you shared and just say....I'll be seeing you.....someday. That is the scariest part for the ones left behind. They feel they will forget their loved ones if they move on. But, they are never forgotten.....in fact, they are with us any time we want them to be. It isn't good-bye forever....it's just Good-Bye for now. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
There are many chapters to our lives. We start out as babies, and have every one of our needs taken care of for us. Then we go through our early developmental years and we begin to form our own likes and dislikes and this begins the process of breaking away and starting to choose things for ourselves. The teens years are filled with drama and strife (both for the parent and the child). A tug-of-war between generations and a need for the teen to see just how good or bad the decisions they are making really are.
College brings another chapter of discovery. We are no longer in the cocoon, where our parents are supplying us with their belief systems. But what we don't realize, is that we are just exchanging our parent's values and beliefs for our professors' slant on life. This period is probably the stage most people remain stuck in, when it comes to their politics and religion. But, it is the time we should really be investigating and discovering what is the right fit for us because this developed belief system is how we will make the important choices we make for rest of our life. Then we become parents ourselves and we hand down our formed belief system to our offspring. It is the circle of life.
But back to the movie.....It showed how we must let go at times to enable us to move forward. There is a quote that Gommy likes that goes..."Life is like a monkey-bar set at the playground. You have to let go of one rung if you are ever to reach for the next one...and ultimately get to the end." That is such a true analogy. We have to let go of things all the time....if we are to grow and learn and hopefully teach.
Some people hold on to their beliefs, even if they have been proven to be wrong. Even if it doesn't serve them as being useful any longer. Even if sticking to the doom of their belief, proves they will be stuck in the muck and mire of unhappiness. That is just a sad way to exist. If you don't allow yourself the chance to find a better way to think, act or believe....you just wilt away and that is a wasted life.
When Gommy's husband died several years ago.....there was really no option of giving up. There were three beautiful children to be taken care of and who needed their mother. When my two beautiful children died....there was no option of giving up because I had a very wonderful and precious daughter who still needed her mother. I thank God every day for giving me something to live for, when it seemed like giving up would have been the easy way to go. I have often said that I know God doesn't give you more than you can handle....but I wish He wouldn't trust me so much.
If I had given up at those horrible times in my life....I would never have been able to enjoy all the Blessings and joy I have been given since those awful times. I have, proudly, seen my daughter graduate from college and graduate school and go on to marry and start her own family. I have wonderful, amazing grandchildren who have provided some of the warmest and sweetest times, and fond memories to stuff in my 'Gommy memory box'. I have an amazing husband to share my remaining years with and enjoy our time together. All of these things I would have missed if I had just given up.
Gommy knows my loved ones are still with me. We will be together again.....some time, some where. As Wayne Dyers says.....one day, we will move from "No-Where to Now-Here". So boys and girls, cherish every day of this gift of life you are given. Know that you are not alone in your times of sadness. Some of us just get our losses all bunched together....and others have theirs spread out. But, the reality is....we all have to face losses and bad times in our lives. So, think of your loved ones and remember all the special times and precious moments you shared and just say....I'll be seeing you.....someday. That is the scariest part for the ones left behind. They feel they will forget their loved ones if they move on. But, they are never forgotten.....in fact, they are with us any time we want them to be. It isn't good-bye forever....it's just Good-Bye for now. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Mirror, Mirror....on the Wall?
Hey everyone out there in ether-land....Gommy was thinking.....Have you ever wondered how you would feel if suddenly your life was turned upside down? If someone you love was taken from you......or you were sliding down the economic ladder like you were covered in baby oil and you couldn't grab hold to save yourself from the fall.....or your doctor just told you that you had a serious illness? And what if you couldn't keep any of it from happening, even though you could see it unfolding......as if you were stuck on a railroad track with a huge train approaching?
Those thoughts would probably make for a very scary nightmare. But many people face those horrific situations every day. Every day that the rest of us are all going along with our own lives and some of us are griping or complaining over some trivial incident in our life. Some parents are camped out at hospitals, watching in agony while their child is sick, while other parents are complaining about how their own child is disappointing them in some way or another. Somewhere in the world, some husband or wife is arguing about some silly thing (that they will not even remember if you were to ask them next week what they were mad about), while another husband or wife is burying their loved one and wishing they could have even one more day with them.
Gommy isn't saying all this stuff to be morose or to make anyone feel guilty. It's just about realizing that there are so many more things to be happy about if we just look for them. Sure, everyone gets aggravated from time to time, but if you were to ask yourself if it were really worth all the negative energy you are putting into the issue at hand.....Goms bets you wouldn't think it was all that bad after all.
We have to look in the 'mirror' from time to time and ask if maybe we aren't projecting our own crankiness on someone or something during one of these times. We all get tired and we all have times when we have put too much on our 'plates' and we feel overwhelmed...but if we could try to remember that 'this too shall pass'.....we may be able to re-frame our attitudes and dispositions. Maybe the next time your spouse or significant other does something that annoys you.....ask yourself how you would feel if he/she weren't around any longer. Ask yourself if your child is so annoying that you wish you never had them. Or if you are a little tired from over-doing it, think of how you would feel if your were told you had a very serious illness and the next part of your life was going to involve going to doctors offices and having treatments for a very long time.
It's time to be thankful for every day that you don't have to face any of these awful circumstances. We will all have to go through tough times before we leave this life...but while things are going pretty well........be grateful and stop nit-picking about every little nuisance in life. Take a nap....(I know....you don't have time to take a nap)...but maybe you need to take some of that stuff off of your 'plate' and reduce the stresses you have put on yourself. Gommy bets there might even be someone in your circle of life that would love for you to take a nap and feel better....tee, hee. Or stop blaming your small child for being cranky.... rather ask yourself why they are so cranky. Did you let them stay up too long? Did you drag them to the store when it was THEIR nap time? Come on now.....we know how we get cranky when we're tired...don't you think it could be why they may be cranky sometimes? STOP....look in the mirror....could you be part of the blame for what is happening at times when you are so bummed?
If you are honest with yourself....you will admit that you do bring on some of the 'stuff' that you don't like or want in your life. Want to be happier? BE happier.....Don't think it's that easy? It really IS a choice,(unless you have medical reason for your depression). But the rest of us really can choose to be happy, or at least not dwell all the time on the things you can't change. Unless you can change (really and truly change) what is making you upset or cranky....what is the use of worrying and fretting about it? And if you aren't willing to help a little, by changing the way you react to situations....guess what kiddos? It ain't ever going to change. And when you do try to let go of the stuff you can't change.....it is the most marvelous and freeing sensation you will ever allow yourself to enjoy!
So, brighten up, cheer up and straighten up boys and girls. Life is short....shorter than you know. We are only here for the 'blink of an eye'.....use the time wisely. Quit being a grump-bucket. Stop looking for things to complain about. Because if you look for things to be wrong....you'll always be able to find something. Instead, look around for something to be grateful for. There are much more of those things, and they are so much more pleasant to experience. Trust Gommy..........I know..........I see them all the time. So Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.....who wants to be the happiest of all? You do........so SMILE....CHEER UP.....BE HAPPY!!!Gommy is pulling for you...Hugs & Mush to allllll ((^~^))
Those thoughts would probably make for a very scary nightmare. But many people face those horrific situations every day. Every day that the rest of us are all going along with our own lives and some of us are griping or complaining over some trivial incident in our life. Some parents are camped out at hospitals, watching in agony while their child is sick, while other parents are complaining about how their own child is disappointing them in some way or another. Somewhere in the world, some husband or wife is arguing about some silly thing (that they will not even remember if you were to ask them next week what they were mad about), while another husband or wife is burying their loved one and wishing they could have even one more day with them.
Gommy isn't saying all this stuff to be morose or to make anyone feel guilty. It's just about realizing that there are so many more things to be happy about if we just look for them. Sure, everyone gets aggravated from time to time, but if you were to ask yourself if it were really worth all the negative energy you are putting into the issue at hand.....Goms bets you wouldn't think it was all that bad after all.
We have to look in the 'mirror' from time to time and ask if maybe we aren't projecting our own crankiness on someone or something during one of these times. We all get tired and we all have times when we have put too much on our 'plates' and we feel overwhelmed...but if we could try to remember that 'this too shall pass'.....we may be able to re-frame our attitudes and dispositions. Maybe the next time your spouse or significant other does something that annoys you.....ask yourself how you would feel if he/she weren't around any longer. Ask yourself if your child is so annoying that you wish you never had them. Or if you are a little tired from over-doing it, think of how you would feel if your were told you had a very serious illness and the next part of your life was going to involve going to doctors offices and having treatments for a very long time.
It's time to be thankful for every day that you don't have to face any of these awful circumstances. We will all have to go through tough times before we leave this life...but while things are going pretty well........be grateful and stop nit-picking about every little nuisance in life. Take a nap....(I know....you don't have time to take a nap)...but maybe you need to take some of that stuff off of your 'plate' and reduce the stresses you have put on yourself. Gommy bets there might even be someone in your circle of life that would love for you to take a nap and feel better....tee, hee. Or stop blaming your small child for being cranky.... rather ask yourself why they are so cranky. Did you let them stay up too long? Did you drag them to the store when it was THEIR nap time? Come on now.....we know how we get cranky when we're tired...don't you think it could be why they may be cranky sometimes? STOP....look in the mirror....could you be part of the blame for what is happening at times when you are so bummed?
If you are honest with yourself....you will admit that you do bring on some of the 'stuff' that you don't like or want in your life. Want to be happier? BE happier.....Don't think it's that easy? It really IS a choice,(unless you have medical reason for your depression). But the rest of us really can choose to be happy, or at least not dwell all the time on the things you can't change. Unless you can change (really and truly change) what is making you upset or cranky....what is the use of worrying and fretting about it? And if you aren't willing to help a little, by changing the way you react to situations....guess what kiddos? It ain't ever going to change. And when you do try to let go of the stuff you can't change.....it is the most marvelous and freeing sensation you will ever allow yourself to enjoy!
So, brighten up, cheer up and straighten up boys and girls. Life is short....shorter than you know. We are only here for the 'blink of an eye'.....use the time wisely. Quit being a grump-bucket. Stop looking for things to complain about. Because if you look for things to be wrong....you'll always be able to find something. Instead, look around for something to be grateful for. There are much more of those things, and they are so much more pleasant to experience. Trust Gommy..........I know..........I see them all the time. So Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.....who wants to be the happiest of all? You do........so SMILE....CHEER UP.....BE HAPPY!!!Gommy is pulling for you...Hugs & Mush to allllll ((^~^))
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Have a Little Faith in Yourself !
Hi boys and girls. Hope everyone is doing well on this beautiful day. Today, Gommy wants to talk about having faith in knowing what we want in life. And the fear that develops when we think of changing anything in order to achieve whatever it is that we want.
Gommy read a quote by Usman Asif that said, "Fear is a darkroom, where negatives develop." That is so true when you think about it. We start out thinking about something we want, like maybe a new and exciting career and then we start that dreaded 'monkey-talk' and say to ourselves, 'Oh no, what if XYZ happens and it doesn't work out?....' or the thought that, 'I better stay right where I am because I don't know what I'll find somewhere else.' What this really translates into is a fear of change. We are creatures of habit and many of us don't like to go out of our comfort zones. We would rather loll around in our unfulfilled existence than to 'go for it'....
We choose to believe that we may go 'from the frying pan into the fire', rather than think we might actually be making a better life, career or place in the world for ourselves by the change. Why is that? Why is it so much easier to expect or accept the worst? We do have a 50/50 chance of it being the right decision, don't we???? We have to have faith sometimes, that things will turn out for the better every once in a while. Another quote that is applicable here is from Mary Morrissey. It states that, "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." Another good morsel to help you 'change' the way you think about things.
If we can learn to change without the dread part always creeping in, we can adapt more easily to a variety of situations. I have heard people say they felt sorry for a certain person because they had gone to several different schools while they were growing up. But, if you look at the people who did have different experiences in life (for whatever reason)....they seem to have an easier time speaking with new people, making friends with new people, and they are usually well-adjusted adults who can carry on conversations with people who don't necessarily have to be just like them. I'd say that is a good asset and a learning tool that they developed by meeting new people and facing new situations.
When we over-worry, we tend to become 'numb-brained' (another of Gommy's technical terms)....that is to say we get frozen in the thoughts we keep telling ourselves. You know....the old deer in the headlight syndrome. If we could learn to relax about possible mistakes we may make....we might become more at ease about change the next time an opportunity comes up. And when we find that it wasn't the end of the world and we are still upright and taking in nourishment.....we may just begin to trust ourselves with future thoughts about what we want. And then we won't fear the thought that we might have to change a few things in order to fulfill the idea. Change can be 'life-changing' but it doesn't have to be 'life-ending'.
And for all you boys and girls who are 'stuck' in whatever it is you are stuck in, and are afraid to change something because of what someone else may think of it.....STOP that. You'd be very surprised to know how very little people actually think about you or what you are doing. Oh, they may make a snide remark about your choice....but deep down they wish they had the guts to change something in their lives.
So, do you want to stay in your safe little 'prison' just so someone who is talking junk about you anyway, thinks more of you? Not this Gommy. We all get to live one life....OUR OWN. If you want to give yours away.....it is yours to give....but do you really want to give something away that is so precious to someone who doesn't really care all that much about you in the first place? Gommy thought not.....
So, think about something you would like to change in your life. Make it something small at first. Take little, tiny steps....and then bigger ones, until you change something you wished you could. It could be as small as not eating after eight o'clock at night. That may be a biggie to some noshers who like to watch TV and eat....or you can try going home from work a different way. Just little changes and then build up to bigger changes. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater though. We don't want a bunch of 'brain-numbing' 'deer in the headlight' peeps walking around wondering where the heck is my cheese.....That phrase is from a motivational book called "Who Moved my Cheese?"
The book, "Who Moved my Cheese?", is a parable for how change affects two little mice. The moral the book is trying to teach us is that: 1) "Change Happens= so keep the cheese moving 2) Anticipate Change= prepare and get ready for the cheese to move 3) Monitor the Change= Smell the cheese every once in a while to see if it is starting to smell 4) Adapt to Change Quickly= the quicker you let go of the old cheese, the sooner you can start enjoying the new cheese 5) Change! = Move with the Cheese 6) Enjoy the Change = Savor the taste of the new cheese, and finally 7) Be Ready for the next time to change quickly and enjoy it again and again = be willing to keep moving the cheese!
One of the little mice asks at one point, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Now that is a biggie. The simple answer to that question is that you leave fear behind. So my little mice friends....take a chance...move or change your cheese a little bit! You may just find that there is a plethora of cheeses out there that you have never tasted.....and there are some pretty good ones too. If you've only tasted Cheddar, Swiss or American...you are in for a treat when you get a taste of Gouda or Brie or............go on.......you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Gommy read a quote by Usman Asif that said, "Fear is a darkroom, where negatives develop." That is so true when you think about it. We start out thinking about something we want, like maybe a new and exciting career and then we start that dreaded 'monkey-talk' and say to ourselves, 'Oh no, what if XYZ happens and it doesn't work out?....' or the thought that, 'I better stay right where I am because I don't know what I'll find somewhere else.' What this really translates into is a fear of change. We are creatures of habit and many of us don't like to go out of our comfort zones. We would rather loll around in our unfulfilled existence than to 'go for it'....
We choose to believe that we may go 'from the frying pan into the fire', rather than think we might actually be making a better life, career or place in the world for ourselves by the change. Why is that? Why is it so much easier to expect or accept the worst? We do have a 50/50 chance of it being the right decision, don't we???? We have to have faith sometimes, that things will turn out for the better every once in a while. Another quote that is applicable here is from Mary Morrissey. It states that, "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." Another good morsel to help you 'change' the way you think about things.
If we can learn to change without the dread part always creeping in, we can adapt more easily to a variety of situations. I have heard people say they felt sorry for a certain person because they had gone to several different schools while they were growing up. But, if you look at the people who did have different experiences in life (for whatever reason)....they seem to have an easier time speaking with new people, making friends with new people, and they are usually well-adjusted adults who can carry on conversations with people who don't necessarily have to be just like them. I'd say that is a good asset and a learning tool that they developed by meeting new people and facing new situations.
When we over-worry, we tend to become 'numb-brained' (another of Gommy's technical terms)....that is to say we get frozen in the thoughts we keep telling ourselves. You know....the old deer in the headlight syndrome. If we could learn to relax about possible mistakes we may make....we might become more at ease about change the next time an opportunity comes up. And when we find that it wasn't the end of the world and we are still upright and taking in nourishment.....we may just begin to trust ourselves with future thoughts about what we want. And then we won't fear the thought that we might have to change a few things in order to fulfill the idea. Change can be 'life-changing' but it doesn't have to be 'life-ending'.
And for all you boys and girls who are 'stuck' in whatever it is you are stuck in, and are afraid to change something because of what someone else may think of it.....STOP that. You'd be very surprised to know how very little people actually think about you or what you are doing. Oh, they may make a snide remark about your choice....but deep down they wish they had the guts to change something in their lives.
So, do you want to stay in your safe little 'prison' just so someone who is talking junk about you anyway, thinks more of you? Not this Gommy. We all get to live one life....OUR OWN. If you want to give yours away.....it is yours to give....but do you really want to give something away that is so precious to someone who doesn't really care all that much about you in the first place? Gommy thought not.....
So, think about something you would like to change in your life. Make it something small at first. Take little, tiny steps....and then bigger ones, until you change something you wished you could. It could be as small as not eating after eight o'clock at night. That may be a biggie to some noshers who like to watch TV and eat....or you can try going home from work a different way. Just little changes and then build up to bigger changes. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater though. We don't want a bunch of 'brain-numbing' 'deer in the headlight' peeps walking around wondering where the heck is my cheese.....That phrase is from a motivational book called "Who Moved my Cheese?"
The book, "Who Moved my Cheese?", is a parable for how change affects two little mice. The moral the book is trying to teach us is that: 1) "Change Happens= so keep the cheese moving 2) Anticipate Change= prepare and get ready for the cheese to move 3) Monitor the Change= Smell the cheese every once in a while to see if it is starting to smell 4) Adapt to Change Quickly= the quicker you let go of the old cheese, the sooner you can start enjoying the new cheese 5) Change! = Move with the Cheese 6) Enjoy the Change = Savor the taste of the new cheese, and finally 7) Be Ready for the next time to change quickly and enjoy it again and again = be willing to keep moving the cheese!
One of the little mice asks at one point, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Now that is a biggie. The simple answer to that question is that you leave fear behind. So my little mice friends....take a chance...move or change your cheese a little bit! You may just find that there is a plethora of cheeses out there that you have never tasted.....and there are some pretty good ones too. If you've only tasted Cheddar, Swiss or American...you are in for a treat when you get a taste of Gouda or Brie or............go on.......you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Seasons of Our Lives
Hello boys and girls. Gommy is feeling very melancholy today. My sweet son-in-law, John, sent me a beautiful inspirational power-point piece that would bring a tear to most people's eyes.....and especially to a Gommy who has learned so much in the Autumn of my own life.
It was all about how we should not judge anyone or anything by just one glimpse or encounter. There is a saying that Gommy likes and it is: "If you knew me many years ago.....you don't know me now, because I'm not that person any longer."
The beautiful piece tells a story of a father who sends his four sons out to look at a tree and to come back and tell the father what they saw. The first son went out in Winter. The second son went out in Spring. The third son, in Summer and the fourth son went out in Fall. When they had all gone and returned, they each came back to explain what they had observed (judged). The son who had gone in Winter said he saw an ugly tree, all bent and twisted, with no leaves on it and not very pretty at all. The son who went out in the Spring, said he saw a tree that was dotted with green buds and blossoms that smelled of sweetness. The third son who went in Summer told of a tree teeming with buds, blooms and leaves that were full of promise. The last son went in Fall and told of a tree laden with fruit that was full of life and fulfillment.
The Father told the sons they were all right. But that their perception was only of one season for the tree. To fully understand the tree, they would have had to see all of the seasons of the tree and not judge it from one season alone.
We all have seasons of our lives. And the joy and sadness, and the successes and disappointments, and the loves and losses all make up who we are. It went on to say that if we give up in the Winter of our lives, we miss the promise of fulfillment in another season. We mustn't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of a season yet to come. We also must not judge anyone by only one season of their life. We are a combination of all of our seasons and everything that has happened to us in our lives.
The piece explains that our happy times keep us sweet.....our trials and tribulations make us strong...our failures make us humble and our sorrows keep us human....our faith keeps us growing....but it is God who keeps us going!
This is so true and when you think about it for a while.....you will see how true it really is. When you think back on your own life, you can remember times that you were happy, or sad, or scared....and you can see how each of those times had an impact on your attitude or disposition. We are a culmination of every experience we live. How we react to each instance....is how the rest of our life will turn out.
Live your life with optimism....don't be negative. Look for things to be grateful for because they are everywhere. Maybe you don't have everything you wish you had....but you do have much to be thankful for. And remember that there is always someone who has much less. It is also important to remember that we haven't earned the most prized of these possessions.....our lives. Our life was given to us through the Grace of God. Grace cannot be earned......it is given. So be 'graceful' in life. And as the piece goes on to say......Live Simply....Love generously....Care deeply.......Speak kindly.....and leave the rest to God....May God continue to Bless each and every one of you.....Hugs & Mush, Gommy PS...Thank you John
It was all about how we should not judge anyone or anything by just one glimpse or encounter. There is a saying that Gommy likes and it is: "If you knew me many years ago.....you don't know me now, because I'm not that person any longer."
The beautiful piece tells a story of a father who sends his four sons out to look at a tree and to come back and tell the father what they saw. The first son went out in Winter. The second son went out in Spring. The third son, in Summer and the fourth son went out in Fall. When they had all gone and returned, they each came back to explain what they had observed (judged). The son who had gone in Winter said he saw an ugly tree, all bent and twisted, with no leaves on it and not very pretty at all. The son who went out in the Spring, said he saw a tree that was dotted with green buds and blossoms that smelled of sweetness. The third son who went in Summer told of a tree teeming with buds, blooms and leaves that were full of promise. The last son went in Fall and told of a tree laden with fruit that was full of life and fulfillment.
The Father told the sons they were all right. But that their perception was only of one season for the tree. To fully understand the tree, they would have had to see all of the seasons of the tree and not judge it from one season alone.
We all have seasons of our lives. And the joy and sadness, and the successes and disappointments, and the loves and losses all make up who we are. It went on to say that if we give up in the Winter of our lives, we miss the promise of fulfillment in another season. We mustn't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of a season yet to come. We also must not judge anyone by only one season of their life. We are a combination of all of our seasons and everything that has happened to us in our lives.
The piece explains that our happy times keep us sweet.....our trials and tribulations make us strong...our failures make us humble and our sorrows keep us human....our faith keeps us growing....but it is God who keeps us going!
This is so true and when you think about it for a while.....you will see how true it really is. When you think back on your own life, you can remember times that you were happy, or sad, or scared....and you can see how each of those times had an impact on your attitude or disposition. We are a culmination of every experience we live. How we react to each instance....is how the rest of our life will turn out.
Live your life with optimism....don't be negative. Look for things to be grateful for because they are everywhere. Maybe you don't have everything you wish you had....but you do have much to be thankful for. And remember that there is always someone who has much less. It is also important to remember that we haven't earned the most prized of these possessions.....our lives. Our life was given to us through the Grace of God. Grace cannot be earned......it is given. So be 'graceful' in life. And as the piece goes on to say......Live Simply....Love generously....Care deeply.......Speak kindly.....and leave the rest to God....May God continue to Bless each and every one of you.....Hugs & Mush, Gommy PS...Thank you John
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