I know most of us have dealt with obnoxious people at one time or another. Some of us may have even been obnoxious from time to time ourselves. Hopefully, we were able to correct ourselves, but sadly, that isn't usually the case. This got Gommy to wondering why and how some people become obnoxious. I know we aren't born that way....it is definitely a learned behavior. Maybe it was learned from generation to generation if a parent was obnoxious. Gommy feels the more obnoxious a person is, the less secure they are in their own skin. The obnoxious one (hereinafter referred to as the "OO") tries to cover up his/her own insecurities by always making the grand entrance or being louder than everyone in the group or having to have the very 'best' of everything to validate that they are indeed the 'best'. The "OO" always seems to have to one-up every career, conversation, vacation story, parenting skills, etc. It is ironic, but it usually works because many people are insecure enough themselves that they can be bowled over by a very strong personality. It takes a pretty secure person to back-talk an "OO". If you notice among your own family - and don't we all have a few "OO"'s in every family? - there is always an Uncle, Aunt, sibling or cousin that makes it uncomfortable at family gatherings and make you wish you weren't from that 'clan'. They even make movies about Christmas time relatives that you wish never came to visit.
Most aggressive people don't even notice when they are offending and if they do, they don't care anyway. A large part of being obnoxious is not caring if you offend because you are so into 'you' that you don't realize there are other people with their own feelings that even exist. It is the "All About Me" saga that never ends.
It should be said that the "OO" is to be pitied actually. It must be a very frightening life to have to mask your every move or thought, so that your true 'you' isn't discovered. I wonder why the people who are closest to the "OO" don't give them a reality check. It has to be a dreadful existence to have to live with an "OO". I have noticed that most partners of "OO"'s are usually quite nice. You'd think some of the nasty would rub off but it doesn't seem as though it does.
Just last night, I was working at my job at a candy store and a man who was obviously an "OO" came in with a scowl on his face and a nice woman came in with him. First, may I say that anyone who can't be happy in a candy store may as well pack it in. If candy doesn't make you feel good, what on earth will? After greeting them and welcoming them as we always do at the store, he started the conversation by pointing, on his side of the glass case, to what he wanted. I couldn't see what he was pointing to and I inquired if it were a certain candy. He was aggravated that I couldn't read his mind, but it was a good thing he couldn't read Gommys' mind at that moment. Then he ordered a cashew cluster and I inquired if he wanted it in 'dark' or 'milk' chocolate. He answered (growled to be precise) 'milk'. Then he ordered a pecan cluster and when I asked which type of chocolate again......he almost shouted at me that all of his choices would be 'milk'!!!!! I thanked him and said that would make it easier.... and he stormed out....leaving the nice lady to finish up. She just smiled and finished the order like any sane person would. Now, even though she was nice, Gommy feels she was actually an 'enabler'. She enables this nasty man to be rude to everyone he comes in contact with, while she remains behind and appears to be the nice one. Maybe that is their dynamic....he gets to be nasty and she gets to appear to be the nice one.....They each get what they want and anyone who comes into contact with them are on their own!!! Maybe that is how the 'good cop/bad cop' got its' start.....Go figure!
All in all, Gommy says that if you ever find yourself even becoming mildly like an "OO", stop yourself immediately before any nasty habits grab hold of you and you stay that way. Remember that when you are trying to be the 'star' of the show you are not earning any gold stars from anyone. People may act polite to you but they really cringe when they think of spending any time with you. It is an impossible situation when it is a boss that doesn't know how to handle authority. It can make life unbearable and many times the employee needs their job and they just have to put up with it. How sad.
So to all the people out there who try their best every day to be nice.....kudos to you. And to all those "OO"'s out there who may or may not know they are poops.....boo to you. You know better than that. Gommy says straighten up!!!!!
