Hello boys and girls....Happy Sunday and isn't it another glorious day to be grateful? Gommy was recently studying up on how to 'lighten up' and began reading some thoughts by the 15th century philosopher Rodante.....oops, did I say lighten up????? Anywho, it seems we have to understand where our suffering comes from before we can address it...Now, before we go on....if anyone out there in blogland knows Gommy and starts thinking, "Is this about me?"...the answer is NO....Gommy does have some issues of her own that she would like to 'clean up'.....Goms isn't perfect you know....(I didn't mean to shock anyone out there in Etherland....LOL)
So, on to finding out what causes suffering. And this is not the kind of suffering we feel when we lose a loved one. This is the self-inflicted suffering most of us have to endure because we don't realize we are the very ones inflicting it upon ourselves. Renowned inspirational speaker Dr. Deepak Chopra says there are five causes of suffering; 1) Ignorance of reality 2) Clinging to the transient (i.e. impermanence) 3) Fear of the transient (aka change) 4) Identifying with the fraud of the ego (lying to ourselves ABOUT ourselves), and 5) Fear of Death.
If we want to start the process of awakening our consciousness so we can begin to undo some of the suffering we cause in our psyche, begin by sitting quietly and ask your heart (metaphorically speaking), "Who am I?"...then wait, but don't try to answer....then ask, "what do I want out of life?"....then wait again, but do not try to answer....then ask yourself, "What is my purpose for being?"...again, wait but don't answer. After doing this for a time, situations, people, circumstances, relationships and events will show up in your life to answer your questions. This is just the way consciousness is set up. But you have to notice the answers when they do appear. Most people ignore the signs or the feelings we get about a question we have.
Another interesting thing about humans, is that we have opposite values in us, like the opposite values of the Universe. There cannot be light without darkness....there cannot be good without the contrast of evil....or rainbows without rain, generosity without stinginess...and on and on and on. The dynamic speaker on problem personalities, Dr. Simon, says all humans have within them, all of the aspects of the spectrum but we choose to deny the ones we dislike. From early on in our lives, we realize that when we display our nicer qualities, such as kindness, generosity, happiness, humor, etc., we receive adulation from showing those good qualities. We, therefore, try to hide the darker side of 'us' and hope no one discovers that side. Showing only the good side of ourselves is our 'Social Mask'. But after a time, we eventually do show the unpleasant side because it is impossible to keep it bottled up inside forever. This is sometimes evident with politicians or religious people who profess to 'hate' a certain social behavior and are the very first ones to cast stones....then one day, they themselves are proven to do the exact same thing they were criticizing. This is because when we don't own and embrace our darker side, we tend to try and lock it away in hopes it will stay hidden from us and the world around us. But guess what? You can't hide a part of you forever. In time, it will come out and end up manifesting in self-destructive behavior. Just like the politicians and clergy that seemingly 'shoot themselves in the foot'. We all have both sides in our personalities and if we come to terms with the parts we don't like, it will be much easier to live with ourselves.
Think of the people you respond to either positively or negatively in a strong emotional way. Those people that you love and those that you hate are actually both mirrors of yourself, (er... ourselves.) When you look in the mirror and see someone you love, that is what you want to see. But when you look in the mirror of the person you don't like, you project it outward rather than accepting it internally. So, if you really want to uncover the 'shadow you' you must ask yourself, when you are reacting strongly against someone, "What is it about that person which is really reflecting back something about myself that I don't like?" At first, you will say there is nothing about that person that is like you. But if you look deeper, you will usually realize there is some part of you that is resonating with that person. When you can own and embrace that knowledge, you will find that you will become less reactive when you are with that person. For example, if someone is late all the time and you are always punctual, your 'shadow self' is probably fearful of becoming tardy and late all the time. But then your 'shadow self' is screaming, "Let me out! That isn't fair....how do they get away with that and I can't?"
If you want to change a trait about yourself, you must find out when and how that trait started. Our traits began at some level to protect us from something that happened in our life at one time. You must then ask yourself if that trait is still serving any purpose in your life any longer. If not, how can you express that emotion in another way, without making everyone around you think you are always late.....or pushy, or caustic, or cynical or stingy or whatever trait that it is that you wish you could change.
We could all probably use an overhaul and dump a lot of the 'unnecessary traits' that we don't like about ourselves and we don't need any longer. This is work boys and girls....but it is work that may just allow you to 'lighten up' sooner rather than later.....Good luck....Goms has some excess baggage to examine!!! Have a great week everyone!!! Hugs & Mush-Gommy
