How's that Working Out For Ya'

Gommy is finding out the longer I live.....the more I really don't know about this thing called 'Life'. And the more I realize that I don't know about it....the more I realize that no one else knows about it either. But it does become much more fun to be in on the secret and to observe everyone trying to make everyone else think that they do know everything!

Noticing how people react to different situations, difficulties or even happy times is much more interesting once you learn to look for the reasons for their reactions. Take politics. Please.....Just kidding. But every four or eight years, a new party comes into power and they strut their stuff and make a bunch of noise about how they are going to fix everything that needs fixin'. And the next time there is a voting year.....the other party usually gets voted back in. Sooooo, how's that working out for ya'?

Or how about when you are young and full of yourself....you observe people raising their kids and you make statements that when you have kids, they will never.....(fill in the blank here). Then.....you get married, or not, and have your own little tots and guess what? They DO absolutely whatever it was, much worse than the kids you ever complained about. Soooooo.....how's that working out for ya'?

Then there's the person who says they would never stay with a husband or significant other if they ever cheated on them. Or it would be beneath them to ever stay in a relationship that wasn't fulfilling. Then one day.....you meet the person of your dreams, you fall in love and everything is hunky-dory. As time goes by, you drift apart, or you have money issues, or agreeing on how to raise those perfect kids becomes a battlefield and one day...........you don't feel very lovey-dovey anymore and you find that your honey wants out of the relationship or worse, has had an affair. You find that you would rather stay in the relationship than to start all over....or you realize you can't make it on your own or you just feel you should try to work on it afterall. So, all that expounding about how you are going to have it all and do it better than anyone else? How's that working out for ya'?

There comes a time when we must face the fact that if there was an easier way to be happy, or to be the best parent or live happily ever after....everyone would be doing it. But it turns out, that it's not so easy because we are missing the forest for the trees. We try to change Mr. or Miss Perfect into something we thought they were and now find out maybe they weren't all that and the bag of chips we thought they were (and for the record, either are we). Or we try a new and improved way to raise our children, because we think our parents had it all wrong. Or we just know that there must be an easier way to have all our dreams realized.

The reality is that it takes very little to be happy. We just have to stop wanting something or someone that we don't have and we must stop wanting to be or look differently than we do . That's it peeps. That is how you can live happily ever after. Just be satisfied with 'WHAT IS'. Suffering always comes from wanting to change something that we just can't change. The only person we CAN change is......you know what Goms is going to say.....YUP, our self.

So, stop trying to make your kids behave so that the neighbors or your friends will admire your parenting. And stop trying to act as if you are so rich that everyone should be envious of you. Because truth be known....many times they are struggling too... trying to impress others. If we just live within our means....the stress of every day life is decreased and the joy is increased and multiplied by leaps and bounds. And about changing your honey-bug. Give it up. No one changes FOR anyone else. We can only change when there is something about our self that we actually WANT to change. That is just the plain facts peeps. The biggest mistake couples make is that the woman thinks she can change her man and the man thinks his lady is never going to change. And guess what? Men rarely change and women change almost momentarily. So, how's that working out for ya'?

Well, those are Gommy's thought for today. Hope all my boys and girls and Moms and Dads and bosses and employees and friends and lovers can just chill. Enjoy your life. There is soooo much to enjoy in this world. And the simple things are usually the most enjoyable.... and they are mostly free too. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'. Talk to you soon. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

I'm Not Listening!

Hello Boys and Girls. It's been a while since we've talked....lol. Gommy was thinking of how people don't like to be told or shown a different path than the one they are on at any given time. Oh....they may complain about the path they are on....but the first time you think you are helping and you try to show them a different path......NO WAY JOSE'!!

The reason we are so resistant to change is that even the most uncomfortable situation is one that we have become 'familiar' with and so we know what to expect. Weird eh? I suppose it would have to be as painful as burning your hand on a hot stove to make you want to abruptly stop doing something differently than what you have been doing. It's the old fear of the unknown that kicks in.

We continue to stay at a job we dislike....to stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling....stay friends with people who aren't really 'friends' or even friendly. YIKES. What can we do to release the yuck and try for something better?

The first thing we have to do is to realize that we are bringing this all to ourselves. I know you are thinking...No way Gommy. I wouldn't be bringing this yuck to myself if I had a choice. But, we are bringing it to us. If for no other reason than the realization that we aren't doing anything to change it or anyone or any situation in which we find our self. And to change anything or anyone....we first must change our self. And that is the kicker....the really hard part.

And another thing to remember about giving unsolicited advice (even if you have been asked, they really don't want the truth...lol) is that the moment you come up with a solution....the person will begin to resent you. Why? Because you are giving them a reason to change something that they really don't feel comfortable about changing. You'll probably hear, "Oh, that's easy for you to say!" or "It's not as easy as you say it is."

We all have our own comfort zone and until someone or something forces us out of it, usually while kicking and digging our heels in.....we will just stay in our own little, 'comfortable' at least.... and familiar at best....comfort zone of existence. It takes a whole bunch of faith in our self or a whole bunch of 'I've had enough', to finally move away or out of our comfort zones.

So, remember that it is always easier to see how to 'fix' someone else than to see what needs to be 'fixed' in ourselves. Remember that Scripture in the Bible about discernment....-Mat 7:3-5 "Why do you observe the splinter in you brother's eye and never notice the plank in your own? How dare you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye."

So, get off that Hamster Wheel if you want things to be different in your life. Otherwise....just keep on twirling in the cage of existence and 'Zip it". And don't take it personally when the other person doesn't take the advice they asked for. It's really, really hard work and many of us just don't like to walk the walk. Maybe you can just sing a little song while you are twirling the cage. Just a thought. OOPS...you didn't ask me for that advice, did you? Have a nice day anyway. I know, I know.....quit giving you advice. Anyway, Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush - Gommy((*-^))