Hi bloggers! Hope everyone is having a won-differous day....or if that isn't the case, at least everyone is coping with the 'portions on their plates' of life.
Goms was thinking how so many people deem themselves to be 'original' in so many ways. The way they dress, the politics they have, their religious beliefs, etc. But in reality, we have been conditioned to be who we are and mostly become just copies of other people's ideas of what is in or what we should think, or how we should act.
Our behavior is the product of time and repetition. Take food for example. We have cravings and we don't really know where they come from. But if you want to change your cravings, for reasons of maintaing a healthier body, or you want to stop your craving for alcohol or drugs if they are a problem for you....then you must 'switch' your thought processes to rise above those cravings.
Gommy remembers being a little girl in Sunday School and afterwards the ladies always served the kids Kool-Aid and cookies. Now in Gommys' memory, that was the epitome' of a 5-Star meal at an expensive restaurant. To this day, Goms can't reproduce that taste no matter how hard I try. Goms can also remember chewing bubble-gum and drinking a bottled coke at the same time and getting that same wonderful taste sensation. Maybe it was because as children, we have zillions of taste buds and by the time we get on in age, they die off???? Oh well, the point I'm 'trying' to make is that the brain is conditioned to want that same experience that made us feel the way we did with the very 'first' taste of something. If we could just switch the thought process each time we want to dig into that jug of ice-cream and tell our brain that it is only the very first taste that is all that and a bag of chips! And then stop there.....Poof.....all those calories or the alcohol we were going to have or the drug of choice we should never do anyway, will lose it's allure.
But back to the being original or a carbon copy (geesh, that just shows us.....they don't even make CARBON copies any longer.....), being original has to be unconditioned. Think of when someone says they love you 'unconditionally'....what are they saying? They are saying that traditional love can change quickly into jealousy, boredom, or at the worst part of love.......betrayal. When we love 'unconditionally' we become aware of the person we love for who they are and not the trappings of the outside of the person and discover the inside (or the character or the deeper side of the person). We may know they have flaws, but we choose to overlook the flaws and love them unconditionally. We know that unconditional love exists....God fulfilled that promise for us. And in the end, what we all want in reality is to love unconditionally and to BE loved the same way.
Our politics and our religion are other examples of how we have been conditioned to believe. To be original, we must always have a healthy doubt about things and search out the right answers for ourselves. Gommy's religion is that I was raised a 'visitor'. Meaning I went to several different churches and even a Synagogue or two while growing up. And my parents politics were that they voted for whomever they felt would do the better job. Not because they were of the X, Y or Z party. Sooooo, it is easier for Goms to have a healthy doubt than for people who were raised in a dogmatic household where it was black OR white and no questions were asked about the validity of the household beliefs.
So, Goms advice for today is to take a softer approach to what you focus your attention on. Give yourself a break and realize that if you make a mistake, don't dwell on the 'sad story' of it and just move on.....when you eat a piece of cake....stop with the first bite.....enjoy the taste of it and tell yourself that eating the rest of the cake will just make you feel bad later on and you won't enjoy the rest of it anyway. Or don't take the first drink or whatever it is that is bad for you and that you don't want to continue with in your life, and picture the ending outcome of that poor decision.
Be originals boys and girls. Come up with your own thoughts about who you want to be, what you want to do and how you live your lives. If you are just going with the masses, you are NOT an original....you are a poor copy of other people and not being true to yourself. Goms is pulling for you....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Parenting or Over Parenting...that is the question
It has been a week since Goms has blogged....but it had been a very a good week. Lots of time spent with great friends and family. Can't get much better than that.....
This week though, Goms wants to talk about the damage we can do to our children just by loving them too much. Yes, Goms said loving them TOO much. There comes a time when we, as parents, must face the stark reality that we can do our children a very big disservice when we 'over parent' them. Simply put, over parenting is not allowing your children to fail at ANYTHING. That may sound harsh, but if your child is never allowed to fail as they develop and when they are no longer receiving 'high-fives' for everything they do, they are in for a big surprise when they do finally grow up.
It seems that the children of today are protected from facing even the smallest of disappointments. Even in sports, there are no winners or losers any longer......just participants. The psychology behind that way of thinking is that the child's psyche may get bruised if they 'lose' at a game and their self-esteem will be harmed. Gommy thinks more than their psyche will get bruised if they don't know how to handle disappointments in life. They will get beaten up, eaten up and spit out by society if they can't handle rejection, disappointments and the bumps that will almost certainly come along the road of life.
Parents can start buffering the way for their child when they are quite young. For example, when your child is small, say 3 or 4 years old, and they want a certain ice-cream flavor.....then they don't want it once they get it.....THAT is a perfect time to teach them that although you realize that they aren't 'happy' with the flavor they chose, it is indeed a choice THEY made and the next time, they can be more careful about their 'choice'. Believe me, something as seemingly small as that scenario is enough to introduce the thought process of 'consequences for choices'. It directly affects them, so they will 'get it'...and the next time they will think about their choice more carefully.
The same goes for giving your child an allowance. If they have to buy what they want with their own money, they will be much more selective than when mom or dad is forking over the moolah. And don't supplement them with more money if what they want is more than their allowance. They should 'save up' for what they want and they will treasure it more......What a concept!!!!! Parents, Gommy promises these small ways you teach your little ones will help them when they are older and they can be making much more serious mistakes with the choices they make as teens.
As children are growing and developing, parents should be there to guide their children in the right direction and be observers of how they are handling situations, choices, their frienships and how they react to different circumstances. The children must be allowed to think for themselves or they will never know how to think or solve problems when mommy and daddy are no longer around. Some parents are the type to jump in between any little spat their child may be having with another child. They should instead allow their child to solve their differences themselves. Tattling is a way that little children try to draw in their parents to their little spats. When they realize that the parent isn't going to be the 'referee', they lose interest in being a tattletale. Tattling carries over into adulthood for some people. If they enjoyed the attention they received by tattling and the drama that they could initiate, they will continue to be the sort of adult who continually 'stirs the pot' in their families, their work place and everywhere they go. We end up working with or working FOR these people sometimes, or heaven forbid, marrying this same sort of person!!!!
When our children are older we should really BACK-OFF from being the 'safety net' for our children. If the parent is always getting their child out of trouble or covering up for their child's lack of 'follow-through' with their schoolwork, their jobs or any of the other responsibilities they have, the child will always lack the skills to act in a mature and responsible manner. This is a major problem when the child is making harmful decisions like drugs, drinking and driving, getting speeding tickets, etc..... When a parents' child is caught doing something horrific, they sometimes want to cover it up and get the child out of the predicament. The parent feels they have failed and this puts the spotlight directly on their parenting or lack thereof, and they don't want to be embarassed. Gommy wants to tell you right now that embarassment is the least of your problems......the agony and guilt of realizing that your child was not given the correct guidance to know how to handle themselves is much more traumatic. So, let them know you will not back them up if they make wrong choices. You will not be their safety net....you love them too much to let them ruin their lives with poor choices. Oh....and let Gommy add that they will continue to love you if you act as a parent and not as a friend. Sometimes, they are even begging for some perameters and guidance......
There is nothing more satisfying than to see your child grow into a capable, happy adult who is raising their own family in a way that will assure another generation of fine, upstanding adults for the future of us all.
Soooooooooooooo, Gommy's advice for parents today is to let your child make little mistakes and let them figure out for themselves how to make better choices the next time they are faced with a problem. Steer your children in the right direction and guide them along lifes' pathway while they are young and impressionable.....it is too late when they are older and can become careless or even defiant about their life choices. You are only hurting them in the grand scheme of things by over parenting and over protecting them. Don't wait until the problems you will have to cover up are very big fiascoes or can cause the unthinkable for any parent....the death of their child from a poor decision they have made!!!! Good luck out there to all you mommys and daddys. Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs and Mush, Gommy
This week though, Goms wants to talk about the damage we can do to our children just by loving them too much. Yes, Goms said loving them TOO much. There comes a time when we, as parents, must face the stark reality that we can do our children a very big disservice when we 'over parent' them. Simply put, over parenting is not allowing your children to fail at ANYTHING. That may sound harsh, but if your child is never allowed to fail as they develop and when they are no longer receiving 'high-fives' for everything they do, they are in for a big surprise when they do finally grow up.
It seems that the children of today are protected from facing even the smallest of disappointments. Even in sports, there are no winners or losers any longer......just participants. The psychology behind that way of thinking is that the child's psyche may get bruised if they 'lose' at a game and their self-esteem will be harmed. Gommy thinks more than their psyche will get bruised if they don't know how to handle disappointments in life. They will get beaten up, eaten up and spit out by society if they can't handle rejection, disappointments and the bumps that will almost certainly come along the road of life.
Parents can start buffering the way for their child when they are quite young. For example, when your child is small, say 3 or 4 years old, and they want a certain ice-cream flavor.....then they don't want it once they get it.....THAT is a perfect time to teach them that although you realize that they aren't 'happy' with the flavor they chose, it is indeed a choice THEY made and the next time, they can be more careful about their 'choice'. Believe me, something as seemingly small as that scenario is enough to introduce the thought process of 'consequences for choices'. It directly affects them, so they will 'get it'...and the next time they will think about their choice more carefully.
The same goes for giving your child an allowance. If they have to buy what they want with their own money, they will be much more selective than when mom or dad is forking over the moolah. And don't supplement them with more money if what they want is more than their allowance. They should 'save up' for what they want and they will treasure it more......What a concept!!!!! Parents, Gommy promises these small ways you teach your little ones will help them when they are older and they can be making much more serious mistakes with the choices they make as teens.
As children are growing and developing, parents should be there to guide their children in the right direction and be observers of how they are handling situations, choices, their frienships and how they react to different circumstances. The children must be allowed to think for themselves or they will never know how to think or solve problems when mommy and daddy are no longer around. Some parents are the type to jump in between any little spat their child may be having with another child. They should instead allow their child to solve their differences themselves. Tattling is a way that little children try to draw in their parents to their little spats. When they realize that the parent isn't going to be the 'referee', they lose interest in being a tattletale. Tattling carries over into adulthood for some people. If they enjoyed the attention they received by tattling and the drama that they could initiate, they will continue to be the sort of adult who continually 'stirs the pot' in their families, their work place and everywhere they go. We end up working with or working FOR these people sometimes, or heaven forbid, marrying this same sort of person!!!!
When our children are older we should really BACK-OFF from being the 'safety net' for our children. If the parent is always getting their child out of trouble or covering up for their child's lack of 'follow-through' with their schoolwork, their jobs or any of the other responsibilities they have, the child will always lack the skills to act in a mature and responsible manner. This is a major problem when the child is making harmful decisions like drugs, drinking and driving, getting speeding tickets, etc..... When a parents' child is caught doing something horrific, they sometimes want to cover it up and get the child out of the predicament. The parent feels they have failed and this puts the spotlight directly on their parenting or lack thereof, and they don't want to be embarassed. Gommy wants to tell you right now that embarassment is the least of your problems......the agony and guilt of realizing that your child was not given the correct guidance to know how to handle themselves is much more traumatic. So, let them know you will not back them up if they make wrong choices. You will not be their safety net....you love them too much to let them ruin their lives with poor choices. Oh....and let Gommy add that they will continue to love you if you act as a parent and not as a friend. Sometimes, they are even begging for some perameters and guidance......
There is nothing more satisfying than to see your child grow into a capable, happy adult who is raising their own family in a way that will assure another generation of fine, upstanding adults for the future of us all.
Soooooooooooooo, Gommy's advice for parents today is to let your child make little mistakes and let them figure out for themselves how to make better choices the next time they are faced with a problem. Steer your children in the right direction and guide them along lifes' pathway while they are young and impressionable.....it is too late when they are older and can become careless or even defiant about their life choices. You are only hurting them in the grand scheme of things by over parenting and over protecting them. Don't wait until the problems you will have to cover up are very big fiascoes or can cause the unthinkable for any parent....the death of their child from a poor decision they have made!!!! Good luck out there to all you mommys and daddys. Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs and Mush, Gommy
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Soul Searching
Hello out there.....Today, Gommy had lunch with a very good friend, with a very good soul. Not everyone seems to have good souls. But good friends with good souls are the best!!!! It is so refreshing to be able to reconnect with a good friend that you haven't seen in a while and are still able pick up where you last left off, as if you had just been together yesterday.
As Gommy was thinking just what a great soul this friend has, it prompted me to look up the word 'soul'. Goms has heard the word so often that I began to wonder what the exact definition of soul is....Turns out there are several meanings: 1) the animating principle in humans credited with the abilities of thought, action, and emotion 2) the spiritual part of a person, capable of redemption from the power of sin through divine grace 3) a person's feelings or moral nature as distinct from other faculties 4) or, ethnic pride among Black people in the areas of food, music, customs and religion.
For the purposes of this blog, Gommy is going to talk about our spiritual soul. The thing we are all searching for in our lives is a sort of 'spiritual goal'. We also hope to be of good character and worthy of obtaining redemption through divine grace at some point. The four parts of our spiritual goal are Peace, Harmony, Laughter and Love. Gommy thinks that love is the most important of these components. If we could love, be loved, accept love and act out of love.....then the other parts would take care of themselves. It was Jesus who said, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God..." I think He meant that God is love and if we seek love in all areas of our life, we have found the Kingdom of God.
Many people are turned off by any talk of religion. It is said too that it isn't wise to speak of religion in mixed company. This is because everyone has their own ideas about religion and how they were raised in their religion and it can get touchy to have a conversation of differences and it can sometimes turn ugly. Isn't that odd? How people can turn mean and fight about different opinions about religion? But there have been war after war about religious differences. People even feel they have the right to kill someone with a different opinion about their religion....Can't ever wrap my mind around that one! But it is better not to argue with someone about their religion or their politics. There is too much negative energy in those areas and as the old saying goes, "A man convinced against his will, shall have the same opinion still." So, don't waste your time batting your head against that metaphoric tree.....
So, Goms thinks it is a better idea to evolve yourself if you are having a conflict with someone. By evolving yourself, you are making yourself into a loving person, you are acting out of love and you are accepting love. And by surrounding yourself with love, it just may permeate through the universe and help to change the world. At least it will be a little better place than before you came here.
To help the universe be a better world, we could start by praying for peace and love. With the numbers that the internet is capable of reaching i.e. Facebook, Twitter, MY Space, etc., it is conceiveable that the power of prayer of millions will be heard. Couldn't hurt.....I'm willing to do my part to pray for peace and for loving one another. Anyone else interested? Have a great week everyone and AMEN...
Goms is having lunch again Sunday with two more good friends from the past. I'll fill you in on our get-together sometime later....I'm sure it will be just as good as yesterdays lunch because Goms has known these friends for more years than Goms cares to admit to..... and they have very good souls as well......Gommy seems to be Blessed with good friends like that!!! ((*o*))
Hugs & Mush, Gommy
As Gommy was thinking just what a great soul this friend has, it prompted me to look up the word 'soul'. Goms has heard the word so often that I began to wonder what the exact definition of soul is....Turns out there are several meanings: 1) the animating principle in humans credited with the abilities of thought, action, and emotion 2) the spiritual part of a person, capable of redemption from the power of sin through divine grace 3) a person's feelings or moral nature as distinct from other faculties 4) or, ethnic pride among Black people in the areas of food, music, customs and religion.
For the purposes of this blog, Gommy is going to talk about our spiritual soul. The thing we are all searching for in our lives is a sort of 'spiritual goal'. We also hope to be of good character and worthy of obtaining redemption through divine grace at some point. The four parts of our spiritual goal are Peace, Harmony, Laughter and Love. Gommy thinks that love is the most important of these components. If we could love, be loved, accept love and act out of love.....then the other parts would take care of themselves. It was Jesus who said, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God..." I think He meant that God is love and if we seek love in all areas of our life, we have found the Kingdom of God.
Many people are turned off by any talk of religion. It is said too that it isn't wise to speak of religion in mixed company. This is because everyone has their own ideas about religion and how they were raised in their religion and it can get touchy to have a conversation of differences and it can sometimes turn ugly. Isn't that odd? How people can turn mean and fight about different opinions about religion? But there have been war after war about religious differences. People even feel they have the right to kill someone with a different opinion about their religion....Can't ever wrap my mind around that one! But it is better not to argue with someone about their religion or their politics. There is too much negative energy in those areas and as the old saying goes, "A man convinced against his will, shall have the same opinion still." So, don't waste your time batting your head against that metaphoric tree.....
So, Goms thinks it is a better idea to evolve yourself if you are having a conflict with someone. By evolving yourself, you are making yourself into a loving person, you are acting out of love and you are accepting love. And by surrounding yourself with love, it just may permeate through the universe and help to change the world. At least it will be a little better place than before you came here.
To help the universe be a better world, we could start by praying for peace and love. With the numbers that the internet is capable of reaching i.e. Facebook, Twitter, MY Space, etc., it is conceiveable that the power of prayer of millions will be heard. Couldn't hurt.....I'm willing to do my part to pray for peace and for loving one another. Anyone else interested? Have a great week everyone and AMEN...
Goms is having lunch again Sunday with two more good friends from the past. I'll fill you in on our get-together sometime later....I'm sure it will be just as good as yesterdays lunch because Goms has known these friends for more years than Goms cares to admit to..... and they have very good souls as well......Gommy seems to be Blessed with good friends like that!!! ((*o*))
Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Monday, January 11, 2010
"Sticks and Stones...."
Hey boys and girls...Hope everyone out there in blogland is doing well. Goms had the flu last week and boyyyyyyy was that icky! Imagine if I hadn't gotten the flu shot???? Maybe they just fooled old Gommy and had water in that needle!!! LOL
Today, Goms wants to talk about why people are so adamant about being 'right'.....(no, not the political right....the flip-side of wrong). Goms wondered why it is so important to want to have everyone agree with the way we think. If Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane doesn't think the way we do, it takes something away from us....Really? Does it really? Being right is the identification with a mental position. If you are to be right.....then someone else has to be wrong....right? What does that really mean? It means if you can make the other person seem to be wrong....it makes you feel a stronger sense of 'you'. If you are 'right', you are in a place of superiority. Which then follows that you 'must' be what.............better??? A better what? Can an opinion or a stand or your political affiliation make you a better person? Really? Can it really? Goms thinks not.
It seems that the more we defend our idea of what is right....the more we become defensive and sometimes even aggressive in our defense of our 'rightness'. When people go off the deep end about their beliefs or political affiliations, they are call 'fundamentalist' or 'extremeists' and we all know where extremism leads to. You see, the truth needs no defense...so relax....quit making it about you and not just your opinion of how you see things.
When we are young (and at any age really), we can get our feelings hurt so easily. Gommy remembers one day at pre-school......many, many moons ago in another galaxy...oh no, that is a movie.....but one day on the playground, a little boy was trying to get back at me for something and yelled, "Your Father is a dog catcher." I guess that was the most horrible thing he could come up with....but it hurt my feelings and to this day, I remember how I felt that day when he said it. When Goms thinks back on it, it is clear that it wasn't so much what he said, as how it made me feel about myself. Now, there is absolutely nothing remotely wrong with dog catchers....but his intonation made it seem derogatory, so as a little girl, I turned it inwardly that if there was something wrong with my Father, it must equate that there must be something wrong with his offspring.....DUH...sorry, but that is how the mind works boys and girls. Turns out....it ends up being all about us in every scenario after all.....
Gommy wishes she could get it across to everyone that it really isn't any of our business what someone else thinks about us. It is 'their' opinion and therefore 'their' problem or misguided judgement or fond memory or whatever, that is really all of their 'stuff' wrapped into the equation or opinion.
If teens could just ask themselves, "Do I really value what X, Y or Z thinks of me?", they would be saving themselves such aggravations....But they get all wrapped up in the 'drama' that it actually matters what some little mean girl or boy is saying about them. Just the act of stepping back and realizing that what someone else thinks of you is only the developed reality of their own frame of reference, helps you to take the 'heat' off of 'you'. How they would react to a situation, how they would feel about the issue, or how they would want the outcome to be is really what they are thinking and needing to happen if it were them......get it? It is about them.... NOT you.
So, Goms instructions for today (should you choose to follow them.....) are for you to think back about something someone said about you that may have hurt your feelings and ask yourself if you value their opinion, or are they living their life in the 'perfect' way you wish you could, and if you lived your life as they do, you would be happier, or that they must not have any faults or have made any mistakes along the way and that is why they can judge you.......NOT.....is it starting to become more clear? Realizing that only the 'truth' of who you are is what will give you peace of mind and the self-esteem not to 'care' or 'mind' what someone else thinks!.......It does not matter what someone else 'thinks' of you or your affiliations or opinions......They are just trying to bolster their own self-esteem by wanting to be 'right' by making you 'wrong' or less or whatever. Don't let 'em get to you.....Keep on doing the 'right' thing for you and only care about the opinions of people who really matter and who actually care about YOU!!!!! Pencils down students......And have a nice week boys and girls.....
Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Today, Goms wants to talk about why people are so adamant about being 'right'.....(no, not the political right....the flip-side of wrong). Goms wondered why it is so important to want to have everyone agree with the way we think. If Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane doesn't think the way we do, it takes something away from us....Really? Does it really? Being right is the identification with a mental position. If you are to be right.....then someone else has to be wrong....right? What does that really mean? It means if you can make the other person seem to be wrong....it makes you feel a stronger sense of 'you'. If you are 'right', you are in a place of superiority. Which then follows that you 'must' be what.............better??? A better what? Can an opinion or a stand or your political affiliation make you a better person? Really? Can it really? Goms thinks not.
It seems that the more we defend our idea of what is right....the more we become defensive and sometimes even aggressive in our defense of our 'rightness'. When people go off the deep end about their beliefs or political affiliations, they are call 'fundamentalist' or 'extremeists' and we all know where extremism leads to. You see, the truth needs no defense...so relax....quit making it about you and not just your opinion of how you see things.
When we are young (and at any age really), we can get our feelings hurt so easily. Gommy remembers one day at pre-school......many, many moons ago in another galaxy...oh no, that is a movie.....but one day on the playground, a little boy was trying to get back at me for something and yelled, "Your Father is a dog catcher." I guess that was the most horrible thing he could come up with....but it hurt my feelings and to this day, I remember how I felt that day when he said it. When Goms thinks back on it, it is clear that it wasn't so much what he said, as how it made me feel about myself. Now, there is absolutely nothing remotely wrong with dog catchers....but his intonation made it seem derogatory, so as a little girl, I turned it inwardly that if there was something wrong with my Father, it must equate that there must be something wrong with his offspring.....DUH...sorry, but that is how the mind works boys and girls. Turns out....it ends up being all about us in every scenario after all.....
Gommy wishes she could get it across to everyone that it really isn't any of our business what someone else thinks about us. It is 'their' opinion and therefore 'their' problem or misguided judgement or fond memory or whatever, that is really all of their 'stuff' wrapped into the equation or opinion.
If teens could just ask themselves, "Do I really value what X, Y or Z thinks of me?", they would be saving themselves such aggravations....But they get all wrapped up in the 'drama' that it actually matters what some little mean girl or boy is saying about them. Just the act of stepping back and realizing that what someone else thinks of you is only the developed reality of their own frame of reference, helps you to take the 'heat' off of 'you'. How they would react to a situation, how they would feel about the issue, or how they would want the outcome to be is really what they are thinking and needing to happen if it were them......get it? It is about them.... NOT you.
So, Goms instructions for today (should you choose to follow them.....) are for you to think back about something someone said about you that may have hurt your feelings and ask yourself if you value their opinion, or are they living their life in the 'perfect' way you wish you could, and if you lived your life as they do, you would be happier, or that they must not have any faults or have made any mistakes along the way and that is why they can judge you.......NOT.....is it starting to become more clear? Realizing that only the 'truth' of who you are is what will give you peace of mind and the self-esteem not to 'care' or 'mind' what someone else thinks!.......It does not matter what someone else 'thinks' of you or your affiliations or opinions......They are just trying to bolster their own self-esteem by wanting to be 'right' by making you 'wrong' or less or whatever. Don't let 'em get to you.....Keep on doing the 'right' thing for you and only care about the opinions of people who really matter and who actually care about YOU!!!!! Pencils down students......And have a nice week boys and girls.....
Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The 'Outgoing ' and the "Return' Movments of Life
Hello out there in blogland....Goms is going to get a little deep today, so hold on to your thinking caps! It turns out that there are phases of life, just as there are phases of universal movements in our world. They are represented in the universe in ways such as; sunrise and sunset, heat expansion of metals and contraction when the metals are subjected to cold, the ebb and flow of the oceans, daytime turns into nighttime, youthfulness into old age....and on and on.
The outgoing and return movements of a human are reflected in life itself. We breathe in and we breathe out.....we sleep and we awaken refreshed. We are born and we die. With our birth into the world, suddenly, one day, 'you' just appear here on Earth. After your birth, there are years of expansion. Not only in your bodies but in what you learn, what you own, what you do in your day to day existence. Sometimes, your life can become chaotic and filled with too many 'things' in it. During this part of your life, your attention is occupied by accumulating stuff......this is your outer purpose. You earn a degree from college, you foster a career, you start a family, buy a home.....There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything you want to accomplish finished.
Then, just when you think you have made it to where you wanted to be........the return movement begins. Maybe people close to you begin to die, then your own physical form starts to diminish in strength and vibrancy, your beauty fades. Your children are now the keepers of the 'baton' and you are not needed as you once were. Instead of expanding, you are starting to shrink in importance to the world and the people around you. You find that you aren't in control of things any longer. Your opinion is no longer valued. Then you finally just disappear too and die. Memories of you are still there, but just as suddenly as you appeared on the planet....you now suddenly disappear from your physical form.
Once your physical form dissolves, the 'world' of you comes to an end. This is just the way it is. As my father used to say, "No one gets out of here alive." In our Western Hemisphere, the word 'old' has a negative connotation. We don't even use the word when referring to someone. We use words in place of old, such as elderly, mature or advanced in years or even 'Senior Citizens'.
In the Eastern Hemisphere, such as in Asia, they have more respect for their older family members and citizens. They actually revere and respect those in their family or circle of friends who have lived a long life. They realize that with age comes wisdom. Experiences, losses, and merely living several years, gives you an insight that usually can't be seen or appreciated by the young. But with the diminishment of our physical form comes the awakening of our spiritual side. The essence (our most important ingredient) of ourselves becomes clearer. We no longer identify with only the new or the young.
When you are fortunate enough to reach 'old age'.....you have this crystal clear vision of what is and what is NOT important any longer. You are no longer trying to impress your friends or your family or clients with what you 'are' or how much you 'have'. It is a time of peaceful reflection. It is too bad that we can't have that 'crystal ball' while we are still young and going through all those stressful times. We could just sit back and enjoy our children, our spouse, our careers, our homes.....ahhhhhh wouldn't that be nice? But........that isn't how it works folks. You have to wait your turn to 'get it'.
Now some people do skip some of the processes. For example; if you lose a parent at a very young age or you tragically lose a child, or you lose your income and your home due to financial duress....you fast forward very quickly to what is and what is NOT important. You find that you are exactly the same person who HAD stuff as the person who doesn't HAVE that stuff any longer. You realize that people are more important than things and that you should always tell the ones you love that you love them because it may just be the last time you will ever see them.
So, Gommys' wish for you out there in blogland is to enjoy your expansion as much as you possibly can while it is in your realm of living and don't be afraid of the 'return movement' when it starts. It's just part of LIFE and if you can just learn to accept whatever slice of life that you are experiencing, you will be just fine. It won't do any good to 'fight it'.....so just go with the flow and coast!!! And remember that it isn't about the destination....it's about the ride!!!
Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
The outgoing and return movements of a human are reflected in life itself. We breathe in and we breathe out.....we sleep and we awaken refreshed. We are born and we die. With our birth into the world, suddenly, one day, 'you' just appear here on Earth. After your birth, there are years of expansion. Not only in your bodies but in what you learn, what you own, what you do in your day to day existence. Sometimes, your life can become chaotic and filled with too many 'things' in it. During this part of your life, your attention is occupied by accumulating stuff......this is your outer purpose. You earn a degree from college, you foster a career, you start a family, buy a home.....There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything you want to accomplish finished.
Then, just when you think you have made it to where you wanted to be........the return movement begins. Maybe people close to you begin to die, then your own physical form starts to diminish in strength and vibrancy, your beauty fades. Your children are now the keepers of the 'baton' and you are not needed as you once were. Instead of expanding, you are starting to shrink in importance to the world and the people around you. You find that you aren't in control of things any longer. Your opinion is no longer valued. Then you finally just disappear too and die. Memories of you are still there, but just as suddenly as you appeared on the planet....you now suddenly disappear from your physical form.
Once your physical form dissolves, the 'world' of you comes to an end. This is just the way it is. As my father used to say, "No one gets out of here alive." In our Western Hemisphere, the word 'old' has a negative connotation. We don't even use the word when referring to someone. We use words in place of old, such as elderly, mature or advanced in years or even 'Senior Citizens'.
In the Eastern Hemisphere, such as in Asia, they have more respect for their older family members and citizens. They actually revere and respect those in their family or circle of friends who have lived a long life. They realize that with age comes wisdom. Experiences, losses, and merely living several years, gives you an insight that usually can't be seen or appreciated by the young. But with the diminishment of our physical form comes the awakening of our spiritual side. The essence (our most important ingredient) of ourselves becomes clearer. We no longer identify with only the new or the young.
When you are fortunate enough to reach 'old age'.....you have this crystal clear vision of what is and what is NOT important any longer. You are no longer trying to impress your friends or your family or clients with what you 'are' or how much you 'have'. It is a time of peaceful reflection. It is too bad that we can't have that 'crystal ball' while we are still young and going through all those stressful times. We could just sit back and enjoy our children, our spouse, our careers, our homes.....ahhhhhh wouldn't that be nice? But........that isn't how it works folks. You have to wait your turn to 'get it'.
Now some people do skip some of the processes. For example; if you lose a parent at a very young age or you tragically lose a child, or you lose your income and your home due to financial duress....you fast forward very quickly to what is and what is NOT important. You find that you are exactly the same person who HAD stuff as the person who doesn't HAVE that stuff any longer. You realize that people are more important than things and that you should always tell the ones you love that you love them because it may just be the last time you will ever see them.
So, Gommys' wish for you out there in blogland is to enjoy your expansion as much as you possibly can while it is in your realm of living and don't be afraid of the 'return movement' when it starts. It's just part of LIFE and if you can just learn to accept whatever slice of life that you are experiencing, you will be just fine. It won't do any good to 'fight it'.....so just go with the flow and coast!!! And remember that it isn't about the destination....it's about the ride!!!
Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy New Year
Well, it is 2010 and Gommy wants to wish everyone a wonderful and Happy New Year. As for myself.....I don't think it can get much better than last year so Goms will continue to be grateful for everything and everyone in my life. The blessings are too numerous to mention them all but there were a pile of them for Gommy and Grandpa Mike.
Each year, millions of people make resolutions, i.e. promises about their personal goals for the coming year. The irony is that most resolutions are broken and people find they can't keep the promises they made, even though it was to themselves. The reason is that 'old habits die hard.'
If you want to make sure you CAN keep your goal......don't make it too hard. Be a little easier on yourself. If you choose something that really means something to you and to your core values, it may be easier to see it through. The real secret is to make sure it is something YOU want to do and not something a loved one or your spouse wants you to do.
Most people choose something like losing weight or managing their finances better or learning a new skill such as a language. It is hard to change the habits we have become so accustomed to living, so it will take real effort to break out of our ruts and BE different about how we choose our food or manage our finances and spending habits or making the time to learn that new skill.
One of the best things you can do to start off is to tell yourself, "I am wonderful!" If you feel good about yourself to begin with, you will try harder to make your life easier in any of the areas that you feel need fixin' or you just want to improve on or learn about.
If you are going to try to lose weight this year, maybe joining a gym would be a good idea. There are some great deals out there right now because memberships at gyms have declined as the waistlines of so many have increased.....there are some incentives out there for the gyms to make deals with prospective members.
If you are trying to rein in your spending habits this year, it's a good time to realize that meatloaf and Yahtzee at home really isn't too bad at all. In fact, it is really quite a lot of fun. When was the last time you ate as a family or had game night around the table? Invite some couples over and have a 'potluck dinner' where everyone brings something and it doesn't end up costing the hosts a bunch of money and after dinner, bring out the games. It is really hilarious fun and you will be surprised how much you will enjoy the night. AND if won't cost you very much at all. AND.......your friends will secretly appreciate that they didn't have to spend a bunch of money as well. It's a win-win all around.
If you want to learn a new language (finally) or take up knitting or sewing.....or whatever it is that you have always wanted to do.....you must MAKE the time, somewhere in your week to set aside even an hour to learning whatever it is you want to do. You may say you don't have an hour, but you can't fool Gommy because Goms knows better than that. You all make time to do what you REALLY want to do in your lives, like emailing, Facebooking, Tweeting, running, bowling, watching football on TV......etc. You just have to make a date with yourself to set aside that hour each week to do nothing but focus on your goal.
So, dare to make this year's New Years Resolution.....go on.....you can do it. But remember to make it something you can follow through with and you won't have to feel bad about yourself by failing....... and you may just accomlish something that has been nagging you for a long time. Good luck boys and girls.....Goms is pulling for you. What? What did you say? What is Gommy's New Years Resolution?????? Gommy is resloving to be even more grateful for everyone and everything in my life. There are sooooo many blessings that come to Goms everyday that it will take up all of 2010 to be thankful for them all. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Each year, millions of people make resolutions, i.e. promises about their personal goals for the coming year. The irony is that most resolutions are broken and people find they can't keep the promises they made, even though it was to themselves. The reason is that 'old habits die hard.'
If you want to make sure you CAN keep your goal......don't make it too hard. Be a little easier on yourself. If you choose something that really means something to you and to your core values, it may be easier to see it through. The real secret is to make sure it is something YOU want to do and not something a loved one or your spouse wants you to do.
Most people choose something like losing weight or managing their finances better or learning a new skill such as a language. It is hard to change the habits we have become so accustomed to living, so it will take real effort to break out of our ruts and BE different about how we choose our food or manage our finances and spending habits or making the time to learn that new skill.
One of the best things you can do to start off is to tell yourself, "I am wonderful!" If you feel good about yourself to begin with, you will try harder to make your life easier in any of the areas that you feel need fixin' or you just want to improve on or learn about.
If you are going to try to lose weight this year, maybe joining a gym would be a good idea. There are some great deals out there right now because memberships at gyms have declined as the waistlines of so many have increased.....there are some incentives out there for the gyms to make deals with prospective members.
If you are trying to rein in your spending habits this year, it's a good time to realize that meatloaf and Yahtzee at home really isn't too bad at all. In fact, it is really quite a lot of fun. When was the last time you ate as a family or had game night around the table? Invite some couples over and have a 'potluck dinner' where everyone brings something and it doesn't end up costing the hosts a bunch of money and after dinner, bring out the games. It is really hilarious fun and you will be surprised how much you will enjoy the night. AND if won't cost you very much at all. AND.......your friends will secretly appreciate that they didn't have to spend a bunch of money as well. It's a win-win all around.
If you want to learn a new language (finally) or take up knitting or sewing.....or whatever it is that you have always wanted to do.....you must MAKE the time, somewhere in your week to set aside even an hour to learning whatever it is you want to do. You may say you don't have an hour, but you can't fool Gommy because Goms knows better than that. You all make time to do what you REALLY want to do in your lives, like emailing, Facebooking, Tweeting, running, bowling, watching football on TV......etc. You just have to make a date with yourself to set aside that hour each week to do nothing but focus on your goal.
So, dare to make this year's New Years Resolution.....go on.....you can do it. But remember to make it something you can follow through with and you won't have to feel bad about yourself by failing....... and you may just accomlish something that has been nagging you for a long time. Good luck boys and girls.....Goms is pulling for you. What? What did you say? What is Gommy's New Years Resolution?????? Gommy is resloving to be even more grateful for everyone and everything in my life. There are sooooo many blessings that come to Goms everyday that it will take up all of 2010 to be thankful for them all. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
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