Yesterday, my mother-in-law passed away. Or, as Gommy likes to think of it....passed on to a different experience. Goms doesn't want to make this into a religious dialogue because religion can be very divisive and that is not what is intended with today's blog. Gommy would just like to express the loss I feel for a very good relationship I had with a special woman.
It is always sad when we lose someone we love. Just the fact that this person is no longer in our physical world changes many things. We all bring to the Universe different emotions, thoughts, wishes and hopes. And we share all of this with other people in our life. When we experience the loss of our loved one, we can no longer converse with them. There is an empty space left in our personal world. I read a beautiful thought that said....'When a mother dies....it is the first sorrow you face without her to comfort you.' That is very profound. From the moment we are born, our mother's are always there for us in our happy times....our sad times....our successes and even for our failures. She loves us no matter what. When she is not with us.....we feel lost. We can't call on her to remember someone or something from our childhood....we can't call her to tell her of something we accomplished (because we know she will be proud of us like no one else can be), we can't ask her advice about something going on in our lives. This loss is a great big void that is deeply felt.
Mary Anne Brady was in my life when my two children were killed in a car accident. Being the mother of seven herself....she could imagine the grief that I was going through. She never forgot the anniversary of the death of Terry and Tiffany and always sent me a beautiful card on the date. We had many long woman to woman talks throughout the years. But we became especially close when she came back to Tennessee and lived close to us for a year. We would go shopping or to her doctor's appointments and have lunch afterwards. Or I would take her to the cemetery where Granddaddy was buried. My good friend Betty and I would go over to visit with her often and bring supper for us all to share and talk and laugh. And we always included her in our social gatherings at the golf club. Mike's friends loved her too. I felt honored to make sure she felt valued in her later years. So many times, the elderly feel they are just an inconvenience to the younger generation. Nana knew she was loved and welcome any time she was with my husband Mike and me. We will all get old one day (if we are lucky) and I would hope I never have to feel that I am in the way to anyone.
I will miss calling Mary Anne to ask the name of an actor in a movie...or the name of the movie...or the date of something I had forgotten. She had the most amazing memory and her sense of direction and ability to get just about anywhere was awe inspiring to me. You see, I get lost backing out of the driveway....lol. I used to have to call her all the time when I first moved to Tennessee with my husband. I would continually get lost and all I had to do is call her and she could tell me exactly how to find my way back home just by telling her the name of the street where I was. She could tell me to turn right at the Exxon station and go 3 blocks to the cleaners and turn left and go .5 miles to.............you get the picture. She knew every street in Memphis....IN ORDER! One time I had my grandkids up visiting and I got lost. DUH...I called her on my cell and told her the street I was on and she knew right away that I was in the worse part of the city I could be in and she said (as serious as can be) "Tell the kids to lie down in the back seat..... and FLOOR it. Don't even stop for red lights!" Oh, did I mention that she had a hilarious sense of humor?
Have you ever bought anything for anyone and just didn't get the response you were hoping for? You had put a lot of effort into the purchase and you could just imagine the elation in the persons' face when they opened it....and then it was like you had given them a dead mouse. Well, you never had to worry about that with Mary Anne. I have NEVER given her a gift that she didn't say was the finest, most wonderful (fill in the blank here) doo-dad she had ever seen. And she would wear it proudly after she received it so you always knew that she did indeed love the gift you gave her. That is a grateful person and it just made you want to give her more all the time!
I cannot remember a birthday, christening, anniversary or any important family occasion that Nana and Granddaddy ever missed with the family. They had seven children and several grands and even great-grands and they tried to come to all of the events that they were invited to. It couldn't have been easy raising seven children who all went, at one time or another, to parochial school. I'm sure there were many times they had to go without themselves so the children wouldn't be without. I can't even imagine the juggling and planning it takes to manage that many people in a household.
So, here's to you Mary Anne. You were a wonderful part of my life and for that I thank you. You will be sorely missed and I just hope Mike can fill the ache he is feeling in his heart right now, with all the wonderful memories you gave him as his mother. He loved you more than words could ever convey. And I know you knew this because you told him that on the last visit we had with you just a few short weeks ago. I can honestly say I never heard him ever complain or say an 'ugly' word about you Nana or Granddaddy. EVER! That is something now...at least I don't think many people can say they have never said anything negative or griped about their parents at one time or another. Rest in peace Mary Anne and I hope you are having the grandest family reunion right now, with all those who have gone on before you. I'm sure they are very happy to see you again. Love and Hugs & Mush...Shirlee
