Gommy is sad today because we just got word that our dear Nana (Grandpa's Mother) is not going to be with us much longer. We just spent the long weekend with her and we could see that this was coming....but we are never ready to let go of our Mother, now are we? I have had many great woman to woman talks with Nana over the years. We were lucky enough to have her live close to us for over a year while we were still in Tennessee.
Nana loved Tennessee.... and Memphis in particular. She and Granddaddy grew up in Memphis, married there and had seven children born in that city. They made and shared many, many happy memories there over the years. I can't think of one Christening, birthday, graduation, marriage or any other family event that they missed over the years for their children and grandchildren. They were definitely involved and loving parents. Nana shared many of those memories with me the times I would visit with her, on any given afternoon, when I would steal away from work to have lunch with her....or come over to her place after work and bring her dinner and just visit with her or watch a movie. Many times she would come to the golf course when we were having a Pot Luck event or to enjoy Bunco with the 'girls'. We had fun decorating her place for Christmas and the other holidays while she was living near us. Nana always had great taste in decorating. She loved her magazines and had several subscriptions for the ones that showed pretty home designs.
There were semi-monthly trips to the doctor where we could talk about a number of things that may be bothering her.....or just her wanting to share memories of Granddaddy, or the children or grandchildren with me. We went to the grocery store at least once a week. Nana looked forward to that time....as it was just about the last thing she could actually do for herself. We always went to Wally World or other big department stores that had those electric-type wheel chairs. It would take hours for her to finish all her shopping...even though I knew she didn't need much because she lived alone. But I realized that she just enjoyed getting out of the house for a bit. She was always telling me she was sorry that I had to be dealing with getting her wheelchair in and out of the car so she could get around. I assured her it was my honor to help her so she could get out and about. We always tried to have lunch out or sometimes it was an early supper on shopping day. Other days, she would call and tell me she had made something special for Grandpa, that she knew he loved, and we would come over to eat it with her.... even if we had to get right back afterwards, to close up the golf course for the day. Those are times we will always have to remember.
I will cherish those times even more after she is gone. And I will always be thankful that we did share those special times. When Granddaddy was alive, and we still lived in Florida, we were always begging them to come visit with us. They were such fun. We can always think back now with a smile, that they knew how much we wanted to be with them. Many times, parents become a 'nuisance' to their children and they don't feel very wanted any longer. We know that Nana and Granddaddy never felt that way in our home.
While we were visiting Nana this weekend....we said our good-byes as we always have in the past, but we all knew this was probably the last good-bye we would ever get to have. When Grandpa Mike leaned down to kiss Nana and say his good-byes....Nana held his hand more tightly than you would expect from someone so weak....and looked him in the eyes and told him...'I love you with all my heart." It was all I could do to hold back the tears until we were out of her sight. Grandpa has always had an extra- special relationship with his parents. All parents love their children....but Nana and Granddaddy knew without a shadow of a doubt...that their son Michael loved them back, with all of his heart too. That is a gift that Michael gave to himself.....a warm, comforting feeling that he did all he could ever do to make sure his parents felt honored and loved...and that they knew it while they were still here with him. That is what is called having peace of mind in your special parent/son relationship.
Mothers means so much to all of us. When we are little....our mother is everything to us. She feeds us, tucks us in at night, soothes us when we are sick and she loves us unconditionally. When we are teens....we wish we didn't have to be mothered so much...but thankfully...that passes and we come back to our senses eventually and realize how fortunate we are to have someone in our lives that cares for us as only a mother does. Then we become parents ourselves...and that is when the really big awakening happens and we realize just how much our parents do love us. Some of us are luckier than others in our special relationships with our parents. Others who haven't wanted to experience that closeness for whatever reason, have surely missed out on one of the greatest relationship in the world.
So, if anyone out there is lucky enough to still have their parents around.....take the time to let them know how much they mean to you. Tell them that you appreciate all they did for you while you were growing up. Even if you didn't have the best relationship.....they did bring you into the world. They deserve some gratitude for that at least...don't you think?
So thank you Nana for all the special times we shared over the years. I am so grateful to have had this past weekend to be with you and reminisce about the good old days. I will always remember our sitting out in patio area on Friday and the wind blowing in your hair. We could tell that you were enjoying being in the refreshing air by the smile on your face. It was almost as if you were remembering times from long ago. I really love how the Hospice movement says that loved ones should never die alone. That a loved one should hold your hand and comfort you as you transition from one plane of reality to another. May your transition be all that you have ever dreamed it would be! You are a great mother! God Bless You Nana.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Apple Don't Fall Far From the Tree!
Hello boys and girls. It is almost time for the big Turkey day. I think of it as a great big group hug where we all give thanks for all we are blessed with. Too bad we can't stay grateful all year around. But I guess one big day is better than no day at all to remind us of our blessings.
The title of my blog today was something that I probably heard about a gazillion times while I was growing up from my Mom and Grandma. The older I get....the more I see how true it really is. All it takes is a little observation and a little lookey loo at how much we are like our parents to realize how profound the old saying really is. We are so much like our parents in our thought processes, and many times in our way of thinking politically, even in our mannerisms. I have even been fooled a few times when calling a friend.....thinking they were their Mother or if it was a man....that it was his Dad. Now that is falling pretty darn close to the tree.
Some people may not want to admit they are like their parents at all. But if we are brutally honest....we have to admit it. Sometimes, I look down at my hands and startle myself....because I think I am looking at my own mothers' hands. Of course, there are many people who have purposely tried to be the opposite of their family members. But try as they may....there is always some pieces of the family tree they just cannot shed. Let's face it....if you plant an apple tree...you don't get an orange from it. We are pretty much like who we are around the most.
This is even true of our friends. I guess that is where the other old adage comes from...."Birds of a feather, flock together." We just feel more comfortable with those who we are most similar to. But sometimes it is good to take a hard look at how we act. Just because the crowd is behaving a certain way, doesn't mean it is advisable to join in. Think "Mob Mentality". Six million Jews were killed because the people involved thought as long as everyone else was alright with it......it must be alright. NOT. Think for yourself. If it doesn't feel right...it probably isn't.
This also takes Gommy to a quote I read on Facebook today. It was from a Lebanese-American poet who was born in the 1800's named Kahil Gibran, and it said, "You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows, are sent forth.....Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." This means to Gommy that we, as parents, have an obligation to teach our children what is right and wrong and to monitor ourselves so that we don't fill our children with bigotry, hate and meanness. If we equip our children with hate and vitriol....that is what they will be experiencing throughout their life because what you put forth into the world....only comes back to you in full force. We need to be 'stable' in our discipline.....both with the children and with ourselves. We cannot expect a good outcome for our children if we teach them hate. We must think of how we are arming them for the world they will be living in when we are gone.
I recently read a very good piece from an Unknown Author...and it really resonated with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Here it is:
So, take this week of Thanksgiving to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. Also, take a good look at what you are teaching your children. Make sure it is all about love and treating people as they would like to be treated. Have a great holiday everyone and let's make this coming year a kinder gentler year, filled with kindness. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for you....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
The title of my blog today was something that I probably heard about a gazillion times while I was growing up from my Mom and Grandma. The older I get....the more I see how true it really is. All it takes is a little observation and a little lookey loo at how much we are like our parents to realize how profound the old saying really is. We are so much like our parents in our thought processes, and many times in our way of thinking politically, even in our mannerisms. I have even been fooled a few times when calling a friend.....thinking they were their Mother or if it was a man....that it was his Dad. Now that is falling pretty darn close to the tree.
Some people may not want to admit they are like their parents at all. But if we are brutally honest....we have to admit it. Sometimes, I look down at my hands and startle myself....because I think I am looking at my own mothers' hands. Of course, there are many people who have purposely tried to be the opposite of their family members. But try as they may....there is always some pieces of the family tree they just cannot shed. Let's face it....if you plant an apple tree...you don't get an orange from it. We are pretty much like who we are around the most.
This is even true of our friends. I guess that is where the other old adage comes from...."Birds of a feather, flock together." We just feel more comfortable with those who we are most similar to. But sometimes it is good to take a hard look at how we act. Just because the crowd is behaving a certain way, doesn't mean it is advisable to join in. Think "Mob Mentality". Six million Jews were killed because the people involved thought as long as everyone else was alright with it......it must be alright. NOT. Think for yourself. If it doesn't feel right...it probably isn't.
This also takes Gommy to a quote I read on Facebook today. It was from a Lebanese-American poet who was born in the 1800's named Kahil Gibran, and it said, "You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows, are sent forth.....Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." This means to Gommy that we, as parents, have an obligation to teach our children what is right and wrong and to monitor ourselves so that we don't fill our children with bigotry, hate and meanness. If we equip our children with hate and vitriol....that is what they will be experiencing throughout their life because what you put forth into the world....only comes back to you in full force. We need to be 'stable' in our discipline.....both with the children and with ourselves. We cannot expect a good outcome for our children if we teach them hate. We must think of how we are arming them for the world they will be living in when we are gone.
I recently read a very good piece from an Unknown Author...and it really resonated with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Here it is:
Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings each morning, thank you, Lord that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes tightly closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you Lord that I can see. There are many who are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off the effort of rising, thank you, Lord that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, and tempers are short, thank you, Lord for my family. There are many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you Lord for the food we have. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for the gift of life. This would be a great Thanksgiving prayer to say this year....Don't ya' think?So, take this week of Thanksgiving to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. Also, take a good look at what you are teaching your children. Make sure it is all about love and treating people as they would like to be treated. Have a great holiday everyone and let's make this coming year a kinder gentler year, filled with kindness. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for you....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Monday, November 15, 2010
Aha!
Hello out there all my little peeps! It is the beginning of a new week and magic is in the air. Thanksgiving will soon be upon us and the most wonderful time of the year is right after that. The Winter Holidays!!!! Christmas for some....Hanukkah for others....Kwanza for others.....and Ramadan for others still. It seems that people finally get it all together during the Winter Holidays and actually wish for Peace, Harmony and Good Will toward all. Even the Scrooges of the world lighten up a bit during this time of year.
That got Gommy to thinking why this warm and fuzzy feeling isn't prolonged, nurtured and kept going, to stay in our consciousness all year. And why do some people find it easier to live and let live....not be as hateful....find it unpleasant to constantly stir the proverbial pot of discontent....and on and on and on, while others seem to enjoy being miserable and hateful? Gommy says seems to because no one could really like being hateful. It is a terrible way to live.
After hearing repeated statements lately, such as: each person has a destiny, that light and love are the way to happiness, that each person who crosses your/our path is meant to teach us lessons, and that we are all one... it got Goms to thinking of people in my own life and about their personalities,....of my own trials, tribulations and blessings.... and the reasons why we all act as we do. The main question Gommy has, is why is it easy for some and not so easy for others to be happy in their own life?
One reason may be that the ones who are having the hardest time and act the harshest, do so because they are very stubborn in their way of thinking. They can see only black and white and they seem to choose to believe the very worst of a group of people, or of their own circumstances, and about life in general. These people are very unhappy and don't have a very good feeling about themselves. They aren't happy unless they are stirring the pot of life. They feel they have to be the conductor, the lead person, the be-all/end-all in charge person that is the only one who could possibly know, 'for sure', how everything should run. If anything gets out of their control....watch out. They erupt very easily and make everyone around them very uncomfortable. But that is just their 'tool' to keep everyone in line. Just like the lion-tamer in the circus. The lion or tigers could easily take out the little old lion tamer at any time.....but the tamer cracks that whip as if that would really save his butt if the massive feral animals wanted to charge at him.
The 'tamer' is very delusional. He thinks that everyone is paying close attention to him because he/she is sooooo very interesting and admired. Wrong Mr/Ms Tamer. You are acting a fool and everyone but you seems to be in on the joke. But you have to keep up the facade because if you lay your whip down or quit your loud bellowing.....everyone may decide to charge at you and you will be seen for the fraud that you are.
Then the thought came to Goms..."Why do we even need these abrasive people in the world, that we seem to come into contact with all the time?". Maybe it is to 'awaken' the rest of us to the realization that they are just making a bunch of noise and they really have no power and our job is actually to help them 'awaken' to a better way of feeling. Just as you would calm a crying child who is afraid....we can help those bullies to see they are loved as well. That is really all they want. They could also be put in our path to mirror some behavior we may be exhibiting and need to change...quickly!!!! When they/we see that being kind, loving and having a genuine care for all really does feel better.... then perhaps they/we may just change their/our hateful, bigoted or ____ (just fill in the blank here) ways.
If you feel you can't do anything about these sorts of people.....ask/pray for guidance in this journey. Know that this may be your mission....to help these people to feel less afraid. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that you somehow helped someone else be more loving....to have the feeling that everyone else feels during the Winter Holiday Season? How great would it be to be able to sustain these glorious wishes for goodwill, for the entire year.....or years on end?
Something is happening in the world lately. We see more and more people who are searching for peace, love and harmony. This latest awareness recently came in the suggestion that we all stop for 11 seconds on 11/11/10 at 11:11 am and 11:11pm.... and for 11 days after at that time..... and think of beautiful thoughts projecting out into the Universe. To send out loving wishes to all mankind. It has been proven that our attitudes and thoughts are contagious....so wouldn't it be great if a nicer thought pattern was 'caught' by everyone? So, every time you notice the numbers 11-11 or 22-22 or 33-33 etc. take this as a gentle reminder of how we can promote a greater awareness of a loving nature and that it may just be possible that it could be guidance from God.... that this is sort of a wake-up call to be a gentler 'us' and to be more accepting of our fellow humans and a reminder that we can be of greater use while we are on our life journey. You will find that the more you keep this in mind....the more frequently you will notice these numbers come up in your daily experience. You will feel you are having an inner calling that you cannot ignore any longer. It is a much more rewarding feeling than to be defiling our fellow human beings. Be willing to move beyond the fear.... and love those spanning across all cultures. This IS God's plan for us on Earth and beyond. In God's name....honor and accept His Divine Heritage for us. Blessings abound.....just stop to notice them.
This is the perfect time to start making the attitude adjustments. Thanksgiving is all about what we are grateful for....so amp it up a bit peeps. Don't just give it 'lip-service'....BE thankful and act nice! Since we were all made in the likeness of God....it should be easy to accept that we were meant to be all loving and to help others to be all loving as well. We can make this a better world....it only takes each of us changing our thoughts to positive, loving thoughts.....one person at a time. You can do it boys and girls. Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
That got Gommy to thinking why this warm and fuzzy feeling isn't prolonged, nurtured and kept going, to stay in our consciousness all year. And why do some people find it easier to live and let live....not be as hateful....find it unpleasant to constantly stir the proverbial pot of discontent....and on and on and on, while others seem to enjoy being miserable and hateful? Gommy says seems to because no one could really like being hateful. It is a terrible way to live.
After hearing repeated statements lately, such as: each person has a destiny, that light and love are the way to happiness, that each person who crosses your/our path is meant to teach us lessons, and that we are all one... it got Goms to thinking of people in my own life and about their personalities,....of my own trials, tribulations and blessings.... and the reasons why we all act as we do. The main question Gommy has, is why is it easy for some and not so easy for others to be happy in their own life?
One reason may be that the ones who are having the hardest time and act the harshest, do so because they are very stubborn in their way of thinking. They can see only black and white and they seem to choose to believe the very worst of a group of people, or of their own circumstances, and about life in general. These people are very unhappy and don't have a very good feeling about themselves. They aren't happy unless they are stirring the pot of life. They feel they have to be the conductor, the lead person, the be-all/end-all in charge person that is the only one who could possibly know, 'for sure', how everything should run. If anything gets out of their control....watch out. They erupt very easily and make everyone around them very uncomfortable. But that is just their 'tool' to keep everyone in line. Just like the lion-tamer in the circus. The lion or tigers could easily take out the little old lion tamer at any time.....but the tamer cracks that whip as if that would really save his butt if the massive feral animals wanted to charge at him.
The 'tamer' is very delusional. He thinks that everyone is paying close attention to him because he/she is sooooo very interesting and admired. Wrong Mr/Ms Tamer. You are acting a fool and everyone but you seems to be in on the joke. But you have to keep up the facade because if you lay your whip down or quit your loud bellowing.....everyone may decide to charge at you and you will be seen for the fraud that you are.
Then the thought came to Goms..."Why do we even need these abrasive people in the world, that we seem to come into contact with all the time?". Maybe it is to 'awaken' the rest of us to the realization that they are just making a bunch of noise and they really have no power and our job is actually to help them 'awaken' to a better way of feeling. Just as you would calm a crying child who is afraid....we can help those bullies to see they are loved as well. That is really all they want. They could also be put in our path to mirror some behavior we may be exhibiting and need to change...quickly!!!! When they/we see that being kind, loving and having a genuine care for all really does feel better.... then perhaps they/we may just change their/our hateful, bigoted or ____ (just fill in the blank here) ways.
If you feel you can't do anything about these sorts of people.....ask/pray for guidance in this journey. Know that this may be your mission....to help these people to feel less afraid. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that you somehow helped someone else be more loving....to have the feeling that everyone else feels during the Winter Holiday Season? How great would it be to be able to sustain these glorious wishes for goodwill, for the entire year.....or years on end?
Something is happening in the world lately. We see more and more people who are searching for peace, love and harmony. This latest awareness recently came in the suggestion that we all stop for 11 seconds on 11/11/10 at 11:11 am and 11:11pm.... and for 11 days after at that time..... and think of beautiful thoughts projecting out into the Universe. To send out loving wishes to all mankind. It has been proven that our attitudes and thoughts are contagious....so wouldn't it be great if a nicer thought pattern was 'caught' by everyone? So, every time you notice the numbers 11-11 or 22-22 or 33-33 etc. take this as a gentle reminder of how we can promote a greater awareness of a loving nature and that it may just be possible that it could be guidance from God.... that this is sort of a wake-up call to be a gentler 'us' and to be more accepting of our fellow humans and a reminder that we can be of greater use while we are on our life journey. You will find that the more you keep this in mind....the more frequently you will notice these numbers come up in your daily experience. You will feel you are having an inner calling that you cannot ignore any longer. It is a much more rewarding feeling than to be defiling our fellow human beings. Be willing to move beyond the fear.... and love those spanning across all cultures. This IS God's plan for us on Earth and beyond. In God's name....honor and accept His Divine Heritage for us. Blessings abound.....just stop to notice them.
This is the perfect time to start making the attitude adjustments. Thanksgiving is all about what we are grateful for....so amp it up a bit peeps. Don't just give it 'lip-service'....BE thankful and act nice! Since we were all made in the likeness of God....it should be easy to accept that we were meant to be all loving and to help others to be all loving as well. We can make this a better world....it only takes each of us changing our thoughts to positive, loving thoughts.....one person at a time. You can do it boys and girls. Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Friday, November 12, 2010
Lessons....are they grinding you down or polishing you up?
Hello boys and girls. It's the end of another blessed week. Now, some of you may have had a trying week....or a week with disappointments....or you may have felt that you were under enormous pressure about something happening in your life. We never quite understand why, what or how situations come along in our life, that make us happy, sad, confused or just plain annoy us.
What happens in our life, has defining moments that may change the way we feel, put us in a bad mood, or it can turn out to be the best lesson we ever learned. It mostly depends on our perspective. We can choose to be the half-empty or the half-full subject of the scenario.
If we let things get us down....we are getting 'ground down', so to speak. But if we look for the lessons in the situation, we may be able to 'shine' when we do come out the other end of the event. Don't believe Gommy? Let's say you may think that it isn't possible to be happy about losing your job. But perhaps you weren't loving the job you were in. Losing your job enabled you to take the time to think about what would make you happier in your next job. There are many people who have lost their jobs in the latest financial crisis. And you hear of several people who say they found their hearts desire, by going an entirely different way, out of necessity. They had to look in a different direction from the position they lost. And maybe they started making jewelry, or they worked with animals, or went back to school to become a teacher, because they always loved being with children......there are many stories out there that prove that just when you thought your life as you 'thought' you were comfortable with was snatched away.....the most perfect opportunity was placed right under your nose.
Adversity can polish you up and make you stronger. Or you can allow it to grind you down.We never think we can go through something until we are faced with it. There are those of us who have lost children, or a spouse or another loved one and although that grief is not something ANYONE would ever want to face.....there comes a time when you realize that you have to accept 'what is' and be happy for how very blessed you were in having had them in your life. And the experience of those losses, makes you appreciate all you do have in your life and the people you still have, are all the more precious to you.
Here is a story that pretty much sums up how to survive the events in our lives that end up dictating how the rest of our life will be. Enjoy!
Is It Grind or Shine?
Adversity is the grindstone of life. Intended to polish you up, adversity also has the ability to grind you down. The impact and ultimate result depend on what you do with the difficulties that come your way. Consider the phenomenal achievements of people experiencing adversity.
Beethoven composed his greatest works after becoming deaf. Sir Walter Raleigh wrote the History of the World during a thirteen year imprisonment. If Columbus had turned back, no one could have blamed him, considering the constant adversity he endured. Of course, no one would have remembered him either. Abraham Lincoln achieved greatness by his display of wisdom and character during the devastation of the Civil War. Luther translated the Bible while enduring confinement in the Castle of Wartburg. Under a sentence of death and during twenty years in exile, Dante wrote the Divine Comedy. John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim's Progress in a Bedford jail.
Finally, consider a more recent example. Mary Groda-Lewis endured sixteen years of illiteracy because of unrecognized dyslexia, was committed to a reformatory on two different occasions, and almost died of a stroke while bearing a child. Committed to going to college, she worked at a variety of odd jobs to save money, graduated with her high school equivalency at eighteen, was named Oregon's outstanding Upward Bound student, and finally entered college. Determined to become a doctor, she faced fifteen medical school rejections until Albany Medical College finally accepted her. In 1984, Dr. Mary Groda-Lewis, at thirty-five, graduated with honors to fulfill her dream.
Adversity - the grindstone of life. Will it grind you down or polish you up?Sunday, November 7, 2010
Curing Our 'Mental Illness'
Good Sunday Boys and Girls. The weather down here in South Florida has been absolutely gorgeous lately. This is what they call 'Chamber of Commerce' weather and is what makes the 'Snowbirds' flock to us when their weather gets really yucky, redundant and unbearable!
Today, Gommy wants to talk about how our past has such a grip on our present.....that it becomes a ridiculous way to live. For many, there is much pain in their history. But, until we get a grip.....and realize that our past is gone and cannot hurt us any longer....we continue to let our past affect our wonderful NOW.
What Gommy meant in the title of today's blog, "Mental Illness", does not mean that we are insane. It means that we have dis-ease about our past. We are conditioned by our past. We allow our past to dictate to our NOW.
Goms has been re-reading and re-listening to the self-help guru Eckhart Tolle again recently (and don't get all wacka-doodle here...because 'guru' just means teacher). He has many insights into why we do allow our past to sometimes take over our present.
Gommy has had occasions to observe this behavior, first hand. We all have actually. We just didn't realize where it was coming from when we were observing it. For example: say someone is consumed with jealousy, guilt, hatred...for another sibling. Where did these emotions come from? They came from the conditioned 'pain body' that Mr. Tolles explains so beautifully in his book, "A New Earth".
Pain body just means, what is called in today's terminology,....baggage. The baggage we carry with us from our conditioned past experinces. We may have been a sibling of one brother who we thought was getting too much attention from their mother or father. Not realizing that there are many different relationships that occur, even within a family. A mother or father does not necessarily love one child more than another. But they can have more in common with one child than another and get along with that child better, because the child isn't argumentative and doesn't cause friction to the parent/child relationship.
When the sibling grows up...they bring with them, that baggage of their childhood and actually have feelings of hate for the other sibling (yes, that is a strong word, but describes the venomous emotions of the affected sibling to a tee). They end up with a tortured NOW...because they are still living in their Past.
Or, if you grew up with losing a loved one at an early age.....you may 'measure' every instance, choice, circumstance or situation that comes up in your life, with the yardstick of losing more. So, you make yourself and everyone else around you uncomfortable to enjoy themselves by your constant compulsion to hold onto every last cent you have. And you may not even be aware that everyone else, except you, can see and feel this emotion in you.
Or perhaps you have a terrible relationship with your parents. Eckhart Tolle quotes Ram Dass in saying..."If you think you are enlightened...spend two weeks with your parents." This is because there is no other relationship that has their stamp on you more than the relationship you share with your parents. They are the ones who gave you the groundwork of your beliefs about yourself and life in general. When you grow up and start living your own life...you want nothing more than to live your life the way YOU want and you no longer want your parents' approval (although that would be nice, but is not neceassary). If you can just 'accept' your parents and realize they are who THEY are, you will find peace in being in their company. Realize that they are acting in their past mental emotional conditioning as well and if they are strong willed....it is even harder, because they will not give up the grip of giving you advice on how you should be living your life very easily.
You must practice being with difficult people in small doses. If you can tell yourself that you only have to be in control of your own 'presence' in their company for say an hour....it is easier than visiting them for a week. You don't have to 'agree' with them....you just have to accept that 'this is where they are coming from' and try not to internalize it. But remember this very important thing....the closer you are to this difficult person....the more they 'know' what your 'hot buttons' are and they are very skillful in pushing them....often and at the most inopportune time. Like when you are feeling smug about controlling your reaction to their smugness.....opinions.....intrusions. BAM....your 'right, hot' button was push and you find yourself right back into that feral emotionality from your past conditioning. This is where many family Holiday dramas come to a head.....Too much of a good thing?
But if we can realize that they or WE are reacting from our "past emotional conditioning"...then we can try to accept 'what is' and go from there. Tell yourself that THEY or WE are not acting from who WE actually are....but from our DIS-ease of our mental conditioning of our past....and we may be able to take an intelligent approach to the situation. Realize that we, or they, are reacting from reliving or revisiting our past conditons.
Whew....did that clear anything up for you? Or are you still in denial that YOU could have ANY part in your own suffering? Remember...suffering is brought on by not accepting. There is no use fighting with "WHAT IS" is there? You aren't going to change what already IS. And you may not be able to change the other person.....But you CAN change how you react to them and to the relationship.
So, everyone who is having any emotional conflicts with your mother, brother, sister or whomever.....try practicing 'non-reaction'. Gommy isn't saying it is easy.....that is what conditioning is all about. What we need to do is be RE-conditioned....Hey, if it's good for a car.....it should be good for us as well....lol....
The Holidays are coming up pretty soon, and it sure would be nice if everyone 'played nice' this year. Quit bringing your old baggage with you to the festivities every year. Bring your new, awakened, aware luggage this time. It will be a whole lot nicer gathering. Gommy promises! You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Today, Gommy wants to talk about how our past has such a grip on our present.....that it becomes a ridiculous way to live. For many, there is much pain in their history. But, until we get a grip.....and realize that our past is gone and cannot hurt us any longer....we continue to let our past affect our wonderful NOW.
What Gommy meant in the title of today's blog, "Mental Illness", does not mean that we are insane. It means that we have dis-ease about our past. We are conditioned by our past. We allow our past to dictate to our NOW.
Goms has been re-reading and re-listening to the self-help guru Eckhart Tolle again recently (and don't get all wacka-doodle here...because 'guru' just means teacher). He has many insights into why we do allow our past to sometimes take over our present.
Gommy has had occasions to observe this behavior, first hand. We all have actually. We just didn't realize where it was coming from when we were observing it. For example: say someone is consumed with jealousy, guilt, hatred...for another sibling. Where did these emotions come from? They came from the conditioned 'pain body' that Mr. Tolles explains so beautifully in his book, "A New Earth".
Pain body just means, what is called in today's terminology,....baggage. The baggage we carry with us from our conditioned past experinces. We may have been a sibling of one brother who we thought was getting too much attention from their mother or father. Not realizing that there are many different relationships that occur, even within a family. A mother or father does not necessarily love one child more than another. But they can have more in common with one child than another and get along with that child better, because the child isn't argumentative and doesn't cause friction to the parent/child relationship.
When the sibling grows up...they bring with them, that baggage of their childhood and actually have feelings of hate for the other sibling (yes, that is a strong word, but describes the venomous emotions of the affected sibling to a tee). They end up with a tortured NOW...because they are still living in their Past.
Or, if you grew up with losing a loved one at an early age.....you may 'measure' every instance, choice, circumstance or situation that comes up in your life, with the yardstick of losing more. So, you make yourself and everyone else around you uncomfortable to enjoy themselves by your constant compulsion to hold onto every last cent you have. And you may not even be aware that everyone else, except you, can see and feel this emotion in you.
Or perhaps you have a terrible relationship with your parents. Eckhart Tolle quotes Ram Dass in saying..."If you think you are enlightened...spend two weeks with your parents." This is because there is no other relationship that has their stamp on you more than the relationship you share with your parents. They are the ones who gave you the groundwork of your beliefs about yourself and life in general. When you grow up and start living your own life...you want nothing more than to live your life the way YOU want and you no longer want your parents' approval (although that would be nice, but is not neceassary). If you can just 'accept' your parents and realize they are who THEY are, you will find peace in being in their company. Realize that they are acting in their past mental emotional conditioning as well and if they are strong willed....it is even harder, because they will not give up the grip of giving you advice on how you should be living your life very easily.
You must practice being with difficult people in small doses. If you can tell yourself that you only have to be in control of your own 'presence' in their company for say an hour....it is easier than visiting them for a week. You don't have to 'agree' with them....you just have to accept that 'this is where they are coming from' and try not to internalize it. But remember this very important thing....the closer you are to this difficult person....the more they 'know' what your 'hot buttons' are and they are very skillful in pushing them....often and at the most inopportune time. Like when you are feeling smug about controlling your reaction to their smugness.....opinions.....intrusions. BAM....your 'right, hot' button was push and you find yourself right back into that feral emotionality from your past conditioning. This is where many family Holiday dramas come to a head.....Too much of a good thing?
But if we can realize that they or WE are reacting from our "past emotional conditioning"...then we can try to accept 'what is' and go from there. Tell yourself that THEY or WE are not acting from who WE actually are....but from our DIS-ease of our mental conditioning of our past....and we may be able to take an intelligent approach to the situation. Realize that we, or they, are reacting from reliving or revisiting our past conditons.
Whew....did that clear anything up for you? Or are you still in denial that YOU could have ANY part in your own suffering? Remember...suffering is brought on by not accepting. There is no use fighting with "WHAT IS" is there? You aren't going to change what already IS. And you may not be able to change the other person.....But you CAN change how you react to them and to the relationship.
So, everyone who is having any emotional conflicts with your mother, brother, sister or whomever.....try practicing 'non-reaction'. Gommy isn't saying it is easy.....that is what conditioning is all about. What we need to do is be RE-conditioned....Hey, if it's good for a car.....it should be good for us as well....lol....
The Holidays are coming up pretty soon, and it sure would be nice if everyone 'played nice' this year. Quit bringing your old baggage with you to the festivities every year. Bring your new, awakened, aware luggage this time. It will be a whole lot nicer gathering. Gommy promises! You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Friday, November 5, 2010
Let's All Get Happy!
Hi boys and girls. Today is the first day that it has felt like Fall is actually coming this year to South Florida. The air is crisp and the humidity has gone somewhere to hibernate. Hooray! It makes Gommy happy to see and feel the change and know that we are coming upon the Happy Time of year for most people....the Holidays!
Just as Goms was being all happy-butt....an aha moment came into my mind and made me wonder about the concept of 'being happy'. Many people strive for happiness in their life and it seems as though the harder we look for happiness.....the more it eludes. There is a secret to finding happiness.....Wanna' know what it is? Keep reading and Gommy will let you in on it.
First, let's go to where you won't find happiness and it may lead you out of that mine field and point you to the direction of 'finding' your happiness. It is absolutely, positively and promised that you will not find happiness in comparing yourself with anyone else. Not in how they look, or how much they have, or what stature they have achieved in their career. This means that you must not compare yourself in thinking YOU are better, prettier, richer or have a BETTER career than anyone else either! Any time you compare yourself with anything or anyone else....you have lost the connection that allows you to be and feel the way God/Source/Being (or whatever name you feel comfortable using) wants you to feel.
God only wants us to be joyful and blissful. It only puts up roadblocks or stumbling blocks when we choose to grade ourselves against others. We do it to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we aren't pretty enough or nice enough.....or thin enough.....or you get the picture. When all you have to do is to be grateful and appreciate all the things we have been provided to BE happy....and it was all given to us with Grace. We didn't earn it....it was GIVEN freely to us to enjoy.
To put it another way....Think of how you feel when you give your child or your grandchild or your spouse or partner something and they show that they love it. You experience that warm and fuzzy feeling just as much, or maybe more, than they do. That is because you gave them something...they showed appreciation for it....and you get to feel wonderful too. That is exactly how God feels when we are grateful for all we have been given. It just takes us to notice....then to say thank you. That's it.
The tricky part is to remember to watch for all of the occasions that there are to be grateful for. Sometimes, we get so caught up on living our life....that we don't notice all we do have. These things are the Blessings that are given to us every day. We were put here to experience life in a joyful way. The people who aren't experiencing very much joy.....are in that other frame of mind, that compares themselves to others.....who are holding grudges against others....are bitter about their life experiences....feel their life 'isn't fair'.....and on and on.
We can also compare our life situation or to someone else and feel we are more important than someone else. Someone who has a job that we don't feel is as important as ours....someone who has less money than we do....lives in a lesser house than we live....who we feel superior to. That is a big mistake. It is like an orchestra. Is the flute any more important than the cello....or the violin...or the piano? Nooooo. The beautiful music comes from the whole. The music needs all of the instruments to make the symphony enjoyable and moving. We can be the conductor of our lives. Be content with what you have and you will not be searching for something better to bring you happiness.
I have witnessed people with so very little, having the time of their life together. They may be enjoying time at a picnic at the beach. Or having a cookout in the back yard....playing sports together.....whatever it is....they are having a good time doing it. They are laughing and having a glorious experience. They aren't thinking that someone, somewhere.... may be living in a mansion with more than they have. That is the secret. Enjoy and be happy for what you have.
Ernest Hemingway said..."Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know!" Maybe that is because the people who are always 'thinking' about happiness....never seem to know when they have it. It is right here in front of us all the time. A beautiful sunrise or sunset...a bird singing to us from a tree...a baby's smile...a tender hug from someone we love....having someone we love want to spend time with us. Wow....it doesn't get much better than that.
It all boils down to love. Loving who you are....loving what you do....loving who you are with....loving all that is given to us to enjoy and appreciating it. So boys and girls....take a minute to count your blessings. They are everywhere. Instead of complaining about your job...be grateful you have a job. Instead of complaining about your kids...be glad they are healthy and still with you. Instead of complaining about your spouse...be glad you aren't alone in the world.
Be happy people....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush - Gommy
Just as Goms was being all happy-butt....an aha moment came into my mind and made me wonder about the concept of 'being happy'. Many people strive for happiness in their life and it seems as though the harder we look for happiness.....the more it eludes. There is a secret to finding happiness.....Wanna' know what it is? Keep reading and Gommy will let you in on it.
First, let's go to where you won't find happiness and it may lead you out of that mine field and point you to the direction of 'finding' your happiness. It is absolutely, positively and promised that you will not find happiness in comparing yourself with anyone else. Not in how they look, or how much they have, or what stature they have achieved in their career. This means that you must not compare yourself in thinking YOU are better, prettier, richer or have a BETTER career than anyone else either! Any time you compare yourself with anything or anyone else....you have lost the connection that allows you to be and feel the way God/Source/Being (or whatever name you feel comfortable using) wants you to feel.
God only wants us to be joyful and blissful. It only puts up roadblocks or stumbling blocks when we choose to grade ourselves against others. We do it to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we aren't pretty enough or nice enough.....or thin enough.....or you get the picture. When all you have to do is to be grateful and appreciate all the things we have been provided to BE happy....and it was all given to us with Grace. We didn't earn it....it was GIVEN freely to us to enjoy.
To put it another way....Think of how you feel when you give your child or your grandchild or your spouse or partner something and they show that they love it. You experience that warm and fuzzy feeling just as much, or maybe more, than they do. That is because you gave them something...they showed appreciation for it....and you get to feel wonderful too. That is exactly how God feels when we are grateful for all we have been given. It just takes us to notice....then to say thank you. That's it.
The tricky part is to remember to watch for all of the occasions that there are to be grateful for. Sometimes, we get so caught up on living our life....that we don't notice all we do have. These things are the Blessings that are given to us every day. We were put here to experience life in a joyful way. The people who aren't experiencing very much joy.....are in that other frame of mind, that compares themselves to others.....who are holding grudges against others....are bitter about their life experiences....feel their life 'isn't fair'.....and on and on.
We can also compare our life situation or to someone else and feel we are more important than someone else. Someone who has a job that we don't feel is as important as ours....someone who has less money than we do....lives in a lesser house than we live....who we feel superior to. That is a big mistake. It is like an orchestra. Is the flute any more important than the cello....or the violin...or the piano? Nooooo. The beautiful music comes from the whole. The music needs all of the instruments to make the symphony enjoyable and moving. We can be the conductor of our lives. Be content with what you have and you will not be searching for something better to bring you happiness.
I have witnessed people with so very little, having the time of their life together. They may be enjoying time at a picnic at the beach. Or having a cookout in the back yard....playing sports together.....whatever it is....they are having a good time doing it. They are laughing and having a glorious experience. They aren't thinking that someone, somewhere.... may be living in a mansion with more than they have. That is the secret. Enjoy and be happy for what you have.
Ernest Hemingway said..."Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know!" Maybe that is because the people who are always 'thinking' about happiness....never seem to know when they have it. It is right here in front of us all the time. A beautiful sunrise or sunset...a bird singing to us from a tree...a baby's smile...a tender hug from someone we love....having someone we love want to spend time with us. Wow....it doesn't get much better than that.
It all boils down to love. Loving who you are....loving what you do....loving who you are with....loving all that is given to us to enjoy and appreciating it. So boys and girls....take a minute to count your blessings. They are everywhere. Instead of complaining about your job...be grateful you have a job. Instead of complaining about your kids...be glad they are healthy and still with you. Instead of complaining about your spouse...be glad you aren't alone in the world.
Be happy people....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush - Gommy
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