Good Sunday Boys and Girls. The weather down here in South Florida has been absolutely gorgeous lately. This is what they call 'Chamber of Commerce' weather and is what makes the 'Snowbirds' flock to us when their weather gets really yucky, redundant and unbearable!
Today, Gommy wants to talk about how our past has such a grip on our present.....that it becomes a ridiculous way to live. For many, there is much pain in their history. But, until we get a grip.....and realize that our past is gone and cannot hurt us any longer....we continue to let our past affect our wonderful NOW.
What Gommy meant in the title of today's blog, "Mental Illness", does not mean that we are insane. It means that we have dis-ease about our past. We are conditioned by our past. We allow our past to dictate to our NOW.
Goms has been re-reading and re-listening to the self-help guru Eckhart Tolle again recently (and don't get all wacka-doodle here...because 'guru' just means teacher). He has many insights into why we do allow our past to sometimes take over our present.
Gommy has had occasions to observe this behavior, first hand. We all have actually. We just didn't realize where it was coming from when we were observing it. For example: say someone is consumed with jealousy, guilt, hatred...for another sibling. Where did these emotions come from? They came from the conditioned 'pain body' that Mr. Tolles explains so beautifully in his book, "A New Earth".
Pain body just means, what is called in today's terminology,....baggage. The baggage we carry with us from our conditioned past experinces. We may have been a sibling of one brother who we thought was getting too much attention from their mother or father. Not realizing that there are many different relationships that occur, even within a family. A mother or father does not necessarily love one child more than another. But they can have more in common with one child than another and get along with that child better, because the child isn't argumentative and doesn't cause friction to the parent/child relationship.
When the sibling grows up...they bring with them, that baggage of their childhood and actually have feelings of hate for the other sibling (yes, that is a strong word, but describes the venomous emotions of the affected sibling to a tee). They end up with a tortured NOW...because they are still living in their Past.
Or, if you grew up with losing a loved one at an early age.....you may 'measure' every instance, choice, circumstance or situation that comes up in your life, with the yardstick of losing more. So, you make yourself and everyone else around you uncomfortable to enjoy themselves by your constant compulsion to hold onto every last cent you have. And you may not even be aware that everyone else, except you, can see and feel this emotion in you.
Or perhaps you have a terrible relationship with your parents. Eckhart Tolle quotes Ram Dass in saying..."If you think you are enlightened...spend two weeks with your parents." This is because there is no other relationship that has their stamp on you more than the relationship you share with your parents. They are the ones who gave you the groundwork of your beliefs about yourself and life in general. When you grow up and start living your own life...you want nothing more than to live your life the way YOU want and you no longer want your parents' approval (although that would be nice, but is not neceassary). If you can just 'accept' your parents and realize they are who THEY are, you will find peace in being in their company. Realize that they are acting in their past mental emotional conditioning as well and if they are strong willed....it is even harder, because they will not give up the grip of giving you advice on how you should be living your life very easily.
You must practice being with difficult people in small doses. If you can tell yourself that you only have to be in control of your own 'presence' in their company for say an hour....it is easier than visiting them for a week. You don't have to 'agree' with them....you just have to accept that 'this is where they are coming from' and try not to internalize it. But remember this very important thing....the closer you are to this difficult person....the more they 'know' what your 'hot buttons' are and they are very skillful in pushing them....often and at the most inopportune time. Like when you are feeling smug about controlling your reaction to their smugness.....opinions.....intrusions. BAM....your 'right, hot' button was push and you find yourself right back into that feral emotionality from your past conditioning. This is where many family Holiday dramas come to a head.....Too much of a good thing?
But if we can realize that they or WE are reacting from our "past emotional conditioning"...then we can try to accept 'what is' and go from there. Tell yourself that THEY or WE are not acting from who WE actually are....but from our DIS-ease of our mental conditioning of our past....and we may be able to take an intelligent approach to the situation. Realize that we, or they, are reacting from reliving or revisiting our past conditons.
Whew....did that clear anything up for you? Or are you still in denial that YOU could have ANY part in your own suffering? Remember...suffering is brought on by not accepting. There is no use fighting with "WHAT IS" is there? You aren't going to change what already IS. And you may not be able to change the other person.....But you CAN change how you react to them and to the relationship.
So, everyone who is having any emotional conflicts with your mother, brother, sister or whomever.....try practicing 'non-reaction'. Gommy isn't saying it is easy.....that is what conditioning is all about. What we need to do is be RE-conditioned....Hey, if it's good for a car.....it should be good for us as well....lol....
The Holidays are coming up pretty soon, and it sure would be nice if everyone 'played nice' this year. Quit bringing your old baggage with you to the festivities every year. Bring your new, awakened, aware luggage this time. It will be a whole lot nicer gathering. Gommy promises! You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy
