Happy Fourth of July everyone! This is always a happy holiday. Friends and family getting together to celebrate our Nations' birthday. Picnics, yard games, beach parties and then......FIREWORKS!!! Hope everyone has a marvelous day.
Now, onto a more introspective thought. Gommmy has been searching for why we think and behave certain ways and there are quite a few very wise people out there who are generous enough to help us find those reasons if we really want to get to the bottoms of why we do what we do.
It turns out that we have to ask ourselves some pretty hard questions and be brutally honest with ourselves with the answers. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist who is studied by many for his theories on modern psychology and psychiatry said, "Our most important problems cannot be solved......they must be outgrown." Besides Sigmund Freud, no one has had a bigger impact on these studies than Carl Jung.
Carl Jung considered the process of individuation necessary for a person to become 'whole'. This is a psychological process of integrating the conscious with the unconscious mind, while still maintaining conscious autonomy. This process was the central concept of analytical psychology.
If you have read any of Gommy's Goodies before, you know that Goms is big on talking about the monkey-talk we all have going on in our minds every moment of every day. Those thoughts can be positive or they can be negative. Sadly, for most people, the thoughts are negative. But, if we can ask ourselves the four 'Simple' questions to the very 'Complex' monkey-talk junk that we make ourselves miserable with, we may just get off the 'crazy train' and be able to live with ourselves in peace. Isn't that a grand concept? Carl Jung said that, "the pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong."
Byron Katie, an American speaker and author, who teaches a method of self-inquiry called 'The Work', has shed light on a very important process to rid ourselves of unnecessary stress and sadness. Byron herself, was severely depressed in her early thirties and even contemplated suicide. She suffered for years until one day, she said she had an epiphany....she found that when she believed her thoughts she suffered and when she chose not to believe her monkey-talk (Gommys' words) she didn't suffer and that was the beginning of finding joy in her life and the end of suffering as she had known it. Byron Katie has come up with four basic questions we can ask ourselves to use as a paradigm (a pattern or a model) to turn around the self loathing we have, the insecure us, the sad us.......etc. Ready? Question #1) is the thought you are thinking true? #2) can you be absolutely SURE that it is true? #3) how do you react and feel when you think the thought? #4) who would you be without the thought?
As an example, let's say the thought is that you need approval to live your life a certain way.......referring to the first question, is it true? At first, you may or may not say yes.....then go on to the next question.....Can you be absolutely SURE that it is true? Gotcha' there....because there are no ABSOLUTES in the world, so no one can be absolutely sure it is true. Next question....how do you react when you think that thought? You probably feel insecure, stressed, not at peace, you might feel someone or a group of someones won't like you if you aren't like xyz, you become self-conscious of your actions, you may act out to gain attention, or worst of all.....you change who you really are and you try to be more like xyz so you can fit in....and when you do that, you aren't you any longer, so you don't like you and then it really gets confusing because if the 'people' don't like you......they aren't really even seeing the real you because you have covered up the real you with this facade (imitation)of who you are trying to be.
WHEW!!! That seems like an awful lot of work to do to hide your authentic self. Why not try just being you? It is a whole lot more simple and when you ask yourself the last question....who would you be without the thought?....the answer would be LESS STRESSED AND MORE AT PEACE. Wow...you didn't even have to go through all that stuff and stress to begin with. You could have just been you to begin with before the monkey-talk started. Byron Katie also says that when you argue with reality.....you lose. But only 100% of the time.
Gommy wonders why so many people try to keep all the 'facade balls' up in the air all the time anyway. If you question someone about why they don't do the steps to change so they can feel better about themselves, they always come up with excuses. Wayne Dyer wrote a book called "Excuses Be Gone". His premise is that we have these excuses that won't allow us to do the steps it takes to examine why we do what we do that isn't making us 'happy campers'. Suffering is always caused by a deeply embedded belief about ourselves or or our situation, that we aren't comfortable about living with. Or a state of blind attachment to something you think is true and for some reason, you are not willing to give up at this time. He says there is the 'I don't have the time to do the work' excuse - there is the 'it's going to be too hard to change' excuse - or the 'I'm afraid of what I may find out about myself' excuse - or the 'I'm not smart enough to figure it out' excuse......etc. , etc., etc. Or, to put it another way, YADA,YADA,YADA!!! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!
If we try to live our lives for other peoples' approval, or we aren't happy with what we have and are trying to always reach for something else, we can never find happiness. Happiness is wanting what you have....not having what you want. And it's not striving for something other than your reality to find happiness. Wayne Dyer tells a parable about a very poor woman who lived in a shack by the side of a river. She had none of the things most people think they need to be happy. She had a sack with some bread in it and she was sitting by the water one day and saw a beautiful precious stone reflecting back at her in the water. She picked up the precious stone and being as poor as she was, she realized this stone would allow her to have abundance and prosperity for the rest of her life. She put the precious stone in her bread sack and just then an itinerant man who was poor as well, came up to her and said he was very hungry and could she give him something to eat. She said of course and reached into her sack and brought out a piece of bread. As she did this, the traveler noticed the precious stone and said to the woman, "I would like to have that stone. May I have it?" She said, "Of course." and she handed it to the man. The man knew instantly that this would bring him much money and was the very success he had been looking for all of his life and he walked on with his journey. The next day, the man came back to the woman and handed her back the precious stone and said, "I'm giving you back this stone.....but I want something more valuable than this from you." The woman looked at him in amazement and said, "But, whatever could that be?" She knew she had nothing else that was as valuable as that precious stone. The man answered, "I want what you have inside of you that allowed you to give me that precious stone."
We already have what is most important in our 'Life'......right inside of us. It may take a little work to get at it.....but it is really worth the effort boys and girls. Gommy's wish for you all is that you may find your peace with yourself and your 'Life'. We are Blessed with so much....but we take so much for granted....we struggle with things we don't need to struggle with.... If we could only realize that our only purpose in being here in this wonderful life is to be blissful. That is really all that God wants for us. Just as we want that for our children and loved ones. That is why He gave us so much beauty to enjoy, great foods to eat, love to find, and on and on and on if we just look up once in a while and appreciate and be grateful. Let's give it to Him..... what do you say? Have a wonderful life folks. You can do it. Gommy is pulling for you. You'll have to excuse Goms now.....I have some beach to enjoy and some fireworks to ohhh and 'awe' over later on.......Toodle- ooh and Hugs & Mush !
