Progression or Regression?

Gommy took my baby grandson Brandon for a walk to the beach today and while we were watching the birds and the waves coming in, Gommy started wondering what Brandon was thinking. He was raising his hand in the air and then he would clap as if he had done something grand or he had been reaching for something in the sky. Goms thinks he was thanking God for the beautiful day and the gorgeous ocean that was 'waving' at him. Gommy wants to say a great big thank you too God......

That also got Goms to thinking about how we were all so pure and innocent when we were at that young age and how we become so affected by everything that happens to us that we sometimes end up tarnished and unhappy by our circumstances. It is a shame we can't 'regress' back to that innocence. By trying to 'progress' our lives along the paths we think we want, we sometimes get mired in the 'getting' process. The truth of the matter is that it is the simpler times and simpler pleasures that make us the most happy.

Someone recently sent Goms an email that instructed you to close your eyes and remember an earlier time in our lives. The background music was a nice tune from the 50's. As Goms read all the things that my generation was fortunate enough to experience, I felt kinda sorry for all the generations that followed that will never get to live in a simpler time. When we were kids, we could play outside without worrying about someone abducting us....we played with our friends out of doors with things we made up with our imaginations. We didn't have computers, cell phones, 500 channels on TV......but we were happy. We stayed outside and played until our mothers yelled for us to come in and eat and get ready for bed.

We were respectful of our teachers and other elders too. Goms thinks you have to be taught to respect other people or you can't ever respect yourself. It is just a gentler way to act with one another...... to be polite and not so darn rude..... Happiness begets happiness and meanness begets meanness....

So, for now, all is right with the world and with God. Just taking a walk to the beach with my grandson is all the excitement Goms needs to feel fulfilled in this very complicated world we live in these days. No movie theaters, no bounce houses, no video games.....just a simple walk to the beach with a very smart, innocent, beautiful little boy was the most refreshing and exciting thing anyone could ever want to do in a day.....Thank you God.

Who Am I? Who Will I Become?....

Good Sunday boys and girls. Gommy is still basking in the glow of one of the best Christmases ever! Gommy & Grandpa Mike went to my daughter and son-in-law's home for Christmas Day and we also went to their house for dinner on Christmas Eve. Later on in the evening of Christmas Eve, we went to Grandpa's sister Cathy and her husband Rick's home to visit and wish that side of the family good tidings.

Michael (who is Grandpa's son) and Fio and their baby girl Kyra came on Christmas Day as well. It was the first time in many years that we were all able to sit down at the dinner table together and celebrate the day. It is a Blessing to be able to join together in perfect harmony.

On Christmas day, Tracey and John had a total of eight families represented at their home. Of course, there were some missing that could not make it this year and we thought of them as well. Then there were family members that we miss each year since we lost them. Those 'missing spokes' are always remembered and although it is sad that we no longer have them with us, we have wonderful memories of them and they will never be forgotten. There will be more missing spokes as the years pass, but for now we were just all happy to be together.

There were several adults and then there were the three grandchildren and later on two more children from John's side of the family came to visit and share dessert with us. Christmas is so exciting when there are little ones to share it with. The awe and wonder of them telling you how Santa came and visited them is priceless. Gommy and Grandpa loved seeing Tracey's two children and Grandpa's granddaughter playing on the floor together. It is so heartwarming when you live to see your childrens' children getting to know one another and playing together.

As Goms gets older, it is so exciting to discover new things about myself and understand more about the things of my past and how I once 'saw' or perceived things. As Goms ages, I find that I am less confounded about potential problems and find that I am more easily able to move past roadblocks that used to find their way in my path. It turns out, that the more you are open to understanding and less about wanting to be 'right', the more your perception of events and people are brought more clearly into focus.

There is information all around to be 'understood' and re-thought and uncovered. It is so much more rewarding to keep quiet and let others reveal themselves, than to insist on making my own opinion known. There is a quiet satisfaction in knowing what we have learned and realizing that others have yet to discover of the mysteries of life. It is even more rewarding when you see someone you love 'get it' and another piece of the puzzle falls into place. We have much more power in our silence than in any force we may attempt to use. And this isn't the silence of anger and withholding....it is the quiet of allowing others to find their own way, in their own time.

This is the time of year to start fresh and allow ourselves the opportunity to live in harmony. If only the rest of the world could see it that way. We would not have to lose the lives of so many young people in war after war.

So, Gommy is wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and one of discovering who you are and who you will become. Because you will all become someone different as time and situations develop throughout your lives if you are willing to 'see' things and not be stuck in what you 'think' or perceive is fact. It will be easier to blossom and find happiness if you ask yourself what the 'lesson' instead of the 'problem' is trying to teach you. Be still and listen for the answer....it's in there.....just waiting for you to 'get it'. Love and hugs to all.....
((*.*)) Gommy

Twas the day after Christmas...

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the land, we Florida creatures slept under our fans. All presents were opened... we've been Blessed beyond thought. We loved all the gifts that were thoughtfully bought. All the trimmings will come down, but the memories will last.....Thank you God for our family.....we had such a blast!!!!

Grandpa and I were lucky enough to share Christmas at the home of Gom's daughter and son-in-law and it was the perfect 'Hallmark' kind of day. There were eight different families there in all .....and everyone enjoyed the day and the company of each other. There were no arguments, no animosity, and no place for anything but love and the gratefulness of being together to share the 'most wonderful time of the year'.

Gommy looked around at everyone at the dinner table and thought how wonderful it would be if everyone in the world could be together and enjoy the day as we were doing. You hear of families dreading this time of the year because of family strife, you know there are wars going on in far away lands and people who can't be home with their families, and some who are not fortunate enough to even have a family to enjoy the Holiday with..... Goms is grateful that wasn't the case this Christmas for her and all the family and friends who gathered together to remember the 'Reason for the Season'. Thank you God.

So, we will bask in the glow of the memories made and enjoyed this Christmas and look forward to next year when that magical, warm and fuzzy feeling that surrounds this time of the year returns. But how about we try to keep that warm and fuzzy feeling with us in spirit all year long? Wouldn't that be wonderful? It really isn't hard. It is a choice. We can choose to harbor bad feelings, or hold grudges or be in terrible moods or we can choose to be nice and have love and concern for our fellow man and/or woman and remember how nice it is when everyone is getting along. This is the time of the year to wipe the slate clean and start fresh with only good in our hearts and well wishes for friends, family and everyone alike.

Goms' wish for each one of you this coming New Year is to find it in your hearts to be kind, be caring and most importantly, be grateful for everything we have and for the gift of our friends and families and for our good health. The easiest way to remember this is to know that "the best things in life are not things." Family and friends are so very important and if you aren't fortunate enough to have family, your friends are all the more important.... but remember that to 'have a good friend, you must be a good friend'.

May the Joy and Happiness of the Season continue all through the coming year for you and yours. Thank you to all who made this year so special for Gommy and Grandpa..........and you all know who you are ;)

Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land....God's creatures were stirring, not in snow but in sand.....Because we're in Florida and not the Northeast.....we are Blessed with warm breezes while enjoying fine feasts. Our snorkels were hung on the porches with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be here.

Yes, it is almost Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. This got Gommy to thinking about how Blessed we all really are. Grandpa and Goms were lucky enough to have wonderful jobs to go to this year, a nice apartment to live in, family and friends who care about us and untold other Blessings that are too numerous to mention.

Just this week Grandpa Mike was sort of a Santa himself. Each day, as he drives to work, there is a man who sells newspapers on the highway. They have struck up conversations over time and Grandpa noticed that this man only has a shopping cart to hold all of his belongings. We are so Blessed, in that we both have more clothes than either of us can possibly need, and Grandpa thought it might be nice to see if the 'newspaper man' might be in need of some of his shirts. Grandpa asked me to buy him two large Christmas bags and bring them home. I did and Grandpa filled them full of very nice shirts. Most of them had never been worn and still had the tags on them. Grandpa told me that when he gave the man the shirts, the man actually cried right there on the spot. He told Grandpa that no one had ever given him anything. The next thing the man said really blew Grandpas' mind. He said that is friend, on the other side of the street, didn't have much either, so he was going to share his gift with him......Can you imagine? This man didn't have anything and he was going to share what he was just given!

It just goes to show you that no matter how much or how little you have, you can always share your Blessings. Even if you don't have money to share, you can share a smile or a kind word or share a meal with someone in need. This time of the year makes most folks want to give of their time or possessions. It is too bad that we can't get in touch with that emotion the rest of the year. It really is the 'most wonderful time of the year'.

Gommy and Grandpa's wish for everyone is to find that special place in your heart to be kind and generous in thought and deed to your fellow man and/or woman. It really does make you feel good about yourself when you are the best you can be. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort either to be nice. Just try it. Merry Christmas and the bestest New Year ever to everyone out there in blogland. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Cruisin' for Christmas

Good morning and good Sunday to all. Grandpa and Gommy just got back from a day-cruise to Freeport Grand Bahama Isle and did we have fun or what? You betcha' we did. The weather was cool and the day was delightful. We got up at 3:30 AM to make sure we made it to the dock by 5 AM for boarding. It was still dark when we arrived at Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale but Grandpa, who is notorious for finding the perfect parking place, came through with a spot right by the elevator to the gate we were to board the cruise ship from. The trip was a gift from my daughter Tracey to Grandpa for Father's Day and it has taken us 6 months to find the time to get away. But we did and we had a blast!!!!

Cruising is always an eye-opening and thought provoking event because it forces you to observe other people and other cultures. We all come from different walks of life and ethnicity's and countries, but the main goal of exploring other places and having a grand time while doing it, is Universal. What Grandpa and Gommy saw yesterday was hundreds if not thousands of people enjoying time together and everyone getting along while in the process of enjoying themselves. There was no color-line, no culture-line and no animosity toward anyone. It was apparent that even though we were all going and doing things as our own little groups, everyone seemed to be enjoying their own 'private' party among strangers.

Another thing that we realized on this trip is that we, in the United States, are so fortunate to be able to just 'run to the store' anytime we need to pick up a gallon of milk, some diapers, paper towels, or just about anything you can think of. We talked to some of the fellow cruisers and discovered that they were not especially on a 'pleasure cruise' as much as they were cruising out of necessity. You may ask... WHAT????? Well, it turns out that items are so expensive or not even available in Freeport (and maybe other Island spots as well), that the people have to get together in a co-op situation and come to the U.S. to purchase every day essentials.

It is actually less expensive for the families to get together and send a delegate over to our country to purchase their items at a warehouse-type store, i.e. Sams, Costco, etc. They cruise over to the U.S., buy the merchandise, ship it back on the ship and cruise back to the island, where they are met by the families in each co-op to help load a pick-up truck with their purchases! Can you imagine????

Here, we Americans are cruising to the Islands to enjoy ourselves and in the process we are purchasing items, 'duty-free', while THEY are cruising to the U.S. to buy items to survive in their everyday world. While we were waiting to leave to come back to the USA, Grandpa and Goms watched as these people loaded their trucks from the dock, with the purchases...... and the items were 4 or 5 feet above the bed of the truck. Grandpa said that there was NO WAY they could drive with all that stuff in the back and not have it fall out. Then we saw a man take a huge roll of shrink wrap and shrink wrap the entire bed of the truck. Voile', problem solved. But it did make us realize how grateful we are that we can just jump in the car any time we please to pick up a loaf of bread or anything else we want at our leisure.

The other thing we realized is that you can get along with everyone if you are patient and kind and treat people with respect in the process of any situation you are sharing. Yes, there were times that we felt like cattle, being corralled into different areas, but if you are polite and realize that everyone is going through the process the same way, it shows that it can be done with respect and decorum.

All in all.....it was a delicious and wonderful experience and Grandpa and Gommy had a memorable time together and enjoyed the day immensely. Thank you Trace.....it was a great gift that we shared together.....Hugs, Gommy

"Whatchoo talkin' about Willis?"

"Whatchoo talkin' about Willis?" was a quote by a sitcom actor, in a comedy series from the 80's. The show was 'Diff'rent Strokes' and the actor was Gary Coleman. The saying became a catchphrase and was said each time something happened in the show that 'Arnold' couldn't believe or he was trying to divert any wrong doing on his part. Now, we probably all know someone who tries to blame other people for their wrong-doing or someone who will never admit they are wrong. That catchphrase always comes to mind for Gommy when those occasions occur.

When you think about it, the people who can't seem to admit they have done anything wrong must have a self-esteem problem, or they are in fear of losing their own job or they are uncomfortable that someone who IS doing their job has shown a light on the lack of their performance. It always boils down to fear in some capacity.

The remedy for this dilemma would be to just do your job and you won't have to be worried that someone else is showing you up. But if YOU are the one who IS doing their job.....be careful, because the slackers will try to undermine you by casting aspersions about you behind your back. It is their only defense, since they don't seem to actually want to do what they are getting paid for.

Goms suggestion would be to give an honest days work for the honest pay you recieve and everything will be okie-dokie.....Your day at work will actually go much faster if you stay busy rather than looking for ways to not do your job. Imagine that your place of work was your own business.....then you would have a different perspective. You would want your business to run correctly and you would give your customers the attention they deserve and you would expect the other workers to do their job as well.

The way you present yourself to the customer is a direct reflection on the business for which you are working. Remembering that without the customer......you don't HAVE a job and that should be a wake-up call in these harsh economic times. A customer should be made to feel they are welcomed and be greeted and given your full attention when they come into your place of business. There are many other businesses just like the one where you work, that they can frequent. If you don't take care of the customer........they can just walk down the block and find a place that does make them feel wanted and appreciated.

Think of the last place of business that you went into and they ignored you. Didn't like it, did you? All of a sudden, YOU were the one who felt like telling them that you don't have to buy anything from them and you were upset. Well, that is exactly how the customer where you are working feels if you treat them that way. Texting, talking to the other co-workers instead of giving service to the customer or just ignoring the customer who just walked in is not the way you should treat a perspective customer. They are in your business to buy something and if they feel unwelcomed, they can just turn around and walk away or worse.....never come back! With the way business owners are complaining about having less business, you would think that keeping the customers you are fortunate enough to have, would be high on anyone's priority list......Owner AND employee.

Okay, okay....Goms is officially stepping down from the soap-box now. This was just a friendly suggestion and a heads-up to remind us to take care of what we have or we just might lose it......Have a cheery day!

Hugs, Gommy

And what do you want little boy or girl????

Gommy has been hearing people asking "What do you want for Christmas?" quite often lately. That got Goms to thinking how wonderful would it be if we could get (manifest) anything we wanted...anytime we wanted? Pretty darn nice Goms thinks.

But, guess what? You can get anything you want anytime you want. It is called memories. What most people are really just 'wanting' is peace of mind, world peace and a peaceful existence when you get right down to it. And if you want to experience that 'peace' in your own existence, all you have to do is close your eyes and feel God. Remember how it felt to sit by a body of water with your dog and just enjoy your surroundings or watching the sunrise or sunset....or remember lying on the ground when you were young and gazing up at the stars in the sky? Or have you ever been in a small boat on a lake and just completely relaxed while feeling nature all around you? That was God.

If you concentrate, you can even remember smells. Like the smell of rain and wet grass.... or the laundry that was dried outside on a clothesline (that memory may just be for us of the older generation and it was great!)......or the smell of the first day of school each year with the aroma of paste, paper and chalk dust. Or watching the snow fall as it makes fluffy blankets on the ground and the smell of the crispness in the air. Or the aroma of fresh baked cookies your mother just made as you come home from school? Remember playing in the puddles after a storm and not worrying about getting wet?! For real warm and fuzzy feelings, remember the first time you held your newborn baby and the overwhelming emotion that came over you as you realized what a miracle just happened. That was God.

If you want to experience pure joy in the present, just watch your grandchildren as they are amazed by learning something new. Allow the juice of a ripe peach or tomato to run down your chin while you savor each bite. Watch the logs on a fire do a dance for you as they flicker on the hearth. Look at your spouse and be grateful they are with you each day to share your life with you. Sit on the sand and watch the ocean waves somehow stop just short of you. Be thankful for the knowledge that all you have to do to find God is to look for Him in all of these things.

So, little boy or little girl....or big boy and big girl....you CAN have what you want. Just think about it.....Treasure and remember the memories of your past and look forward to making new ones in your future but most of all......enjoy the present moment.....Goms heard someone say recently...."The present moment is the only moment that never ends." God Bless......Hugs and Mush, Gommy

Gommy's Sunday School

Hello boys and girls.....it is Sunday once again and Goms seems to seek more spiritual subjects to blog about on any given Sunday. Today, Goms was thinking about the phrase, "God won't give us more than we can handle." But, Goms sees plenty of people, on a day-to-day basis, who seem to be experiencing more than they can handle. There are the alcoholic or drug dependent people who have exhausted all of their 'choices' and are homeless, or the single mother trying to keep all the balls up in the air for her children, or the cancer patient who is in constant pain, the couples who have divorced and are only thinking of their revenge and not how it is affecting their children......there are many more that could come to mind, but Goms thinks these will suffice as examples of people who are given more than they can handle.

Then there is the other phrase, for the more materialistic religious people....."God helps those who help themselves." Does this mean God is only rooting for the affluent? Goms thinks not. Those of us with children know that if one of our children is doing great and another is struggling....we love them both the same and we aren't rooting only for the one that is doing well and ignoring the struggling one.

So, this brings Gom to thinking that we really still must not 'get' it when it comes to what God does and doesn't do with all of His children. God loves all of his children.....black, white, tall, short, skinny, fat, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, rich, poor......and on and on. As to the what we have or have not accomplished in or with or own particular lives....we should leave God out of the equation. We must realize that we are all PERSONALLY responsible for the choices we have made. God allows us to live our lives as we see fit. Remember......'free will'?

The reason some of us can't 'see' God is that we think of Him as being invisible. We should, instead, SEE God in everything all around us. He is in every flower, every blade of grass, every child, baby, rainbow, raindrop......all we have to do is look with our hearts if we really want to 'see' God. He is everywhere......

So, we should begin to solve the mystery of life by examining our lives without the preconceived ideas we have gathered thus far. Look all around you for the Blessings you have been given. Life comes at and to us from all angles and the way we respond and react is what the final outcome of our lives will be. It is what YOU make it. Find your Dharma (passion for what you enjoy).....be grateful for your many gifts, take the time to notice all the beauty all around you every day, savor the times you spend with your family while you still have them with you......

If you ask the right questions about what makes you tick......life will unfold the way it is intended. A great guru once said that if you cannot see God, begin to intensely admire all that He has given you with His creations and He will come out of hiding to meet you. Have a great week everyone......Hugs, Gommy

Vicarious-ness

Here we are and it is already 'hump-day'.....you know, Wednesday. It won't be long now until Santa Claus arrives at the homes of all of the 'believers' and good little boys and girls (and a few big boys and girls). You better watch out, you better not pout, you better not lie.... Goms is telling you why.......but you already know the ending don't you???

Goms was just at the beach....I know---how lucky is Goms???....but while I was basking in the sun and enjoying the beach sounds and watching everyone else enjoying their beach day too.....it got Goms to thinking that I was enjoying their time together vicariously.....The definition of 'vicarious' is; a) indirectly, in, by or through a substitute, b) felt or undergone as if one were taking part in the experience or feelings of another, i.e. 'she enjoyed the wedding vicariously'.

But Goms thinks we all live parts of our lives all the time vicariously. And not just enjoying things through other people's lives. We can also live our past vicariously through our own eyes by observing our children's lives. We remember each scenario and stage as our children go through them with their own children. And when our children do have children, we almost enjoy it more than our own experience because we have the luxury of seeing how important each step and phase is and how fleeting the good times swept by us when we were raising our children. And we were so caught up in the day to day responsibilites that we didn't enjoy it as much as we should have. We can now deliberately slow down and savor each moment we spend with our children and their children. We can see our children doing the same things sometimes and making the same mistakes we made.....but it is best to just 'zip' it and let them realize it on their own and in their own timeframe, the same way we have.

We can live vicariously by watching a TV series with the same people in them each week, that we can almost feel they are a part of our lives. We live vicariously each time we 'see how the other half lives' on the numerous reality shows that are so popular now. We see the rappers 'crib' with all the lavish bells and whistles.....we see the 'housewives of this town or that city' and how they spend their time and money, we see how werewolves and vampires and English boys with horned-rimmed glasses live in their parts of the world. That is all vicarious-ness.

When and if we are lucky enough to mature spiritually and become 'conscious' of our surroundings and how everything and everyone affects everyone and everything else, we have finally begun to see the forest THROUGH the trees. And when that does happen...there is no turning back. You just become more 'conscious' every day and it is so wonderful that you feel you have this great big secret that no one else can touch. I think they call that 'enlightenment' or spiritual awakening, or awareness and understanding. Whatever it is.....it is the BEST!!!

But it is so much easier to see the faults and mistakes other people make than the ones we make ourselves. What does the Bible say about that in Matthew 7:3? ......"Why do you look at the speck of dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Because it is easy to see the faults and mistakes other people make because we have probably already made them and we know what is coming. And the mistakes we are now making, haven't been proven to us to be wrong as yet. No one can tell you that you are about to make a mistake because we only learn from actually making the mistake ourselves. When someone else is having a hard time, you feel sympathy for them but when you have already made the same mistake and been through the hard time.....then you feel empathy for them.

So Goms advice for everyone today is to live and let live. No one is going to listen to you anyway if you try to give them a 'heads-up'. The temptation to do something that they think will be so wonderful will overrule anything someone else is trying to keep them from doing. Or if they are just being stubborn about something and you can see where it is leading.....leave them be and let them discover how it affects them and everyone else later. Just hope that no one gets hurt too much along the way and that they will eventually become 'conscious' of how they are affecting the people around them by their behavior. Remember that the definition of selfishness is....."not living as one wishes to live.....it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

In the end, it turns out that 'we' are the only ones in charge of our lives and 'we' are ultimately the only ones who will reap the rewards, or rue the day, or suffer the consequences of the choices that we did make in every scenario of our time here on the planet. So choose wisely friends and boys and girls. It's your own life and your future that you are shaping here. Hope it turns out like you hoped and you thought it would. Hugs and Mush - Gommy ((*>*))

Grace

Good morning all. This Sunday, Gommy was thinking about 'grace'. Grace can mean; a sanctification by God, a prayer said before a meal, the style with which we display ourselves, elegance and beauty of movement or expression...... or the victor's 'grace' in treating the vanquished. This is an example of showing a disposition to kindness and compassion.

The reason Goms started thinking about 'grace' is that the almighty football team of the University of Florida lost a heartbreaking and very important game last night. Now, anyone who knows Grandpa Mike, knows he is a die-hard Gator fan and he talks the talk about the team any time he gets the chance. And people from all over the country called Grandpa last night to 'needle' him about the loss. But what Goms was seeing was 'grace' being displayed by Grandpa just by the virtue of his admission that the other team was the victor last night and that arguing the point was moot. Being a good loser is not the usual way most people react to the reality of losing. They sometimes blame x,y,or z or they call 'foul' on the other side or on the referees or they become nasty and are mean inwardly and outwardly.....some even turn against the very team they have adored all year! But not Grandpa....Gommy heard Grandpa Mike repeatedly say to the callers, "Yup...they just got whooped. Alabama was the better team last night." That is grace folks....

That got Gommy to thinking about how we could all be a bit more graceful in our everyday lives. When someone comes into your workplace and is angry......treating them with grace diffuses the animosity immediately. Now, Goms isn't saying they will suddenly turn into a pussy-cat....but the atmosphere takes on a different energy when you don't become the 'wall' to their abuse. Let it go right through you as if you were transparent and be as nice as you can muster.....believe Goms......it works.

The same holds true in any personal relationship. We're talking about any interaction occurring between a parent to a child, to a romantic or casual association, with friend-to-friend episodes, in-law to in-laws or just everyday social involvements. If there is a disruptive personality involved in your life, arguing and becoming 'like' that person just escalates the situation. Each confrontation can be diffused by allowing the other person to spout off while you stay calm and collected. It eventually reveals to the 'screamer' that they are the whack-a-doodles. But beware....sometimes that makes the whack-a-doodle just go nuttier because they have 'exposed' their crazy side and they don't know what to do with that part of them, now that it is out. But if you remain calm, they will return to their sanity in time. Just keep an eye out for any heavy objects that may be flung in your direction....

So, everyone out there in blogland that is a Gator fan......be graceful when you get back to work tomorrow and some not-so-graceful person just wants to get in your face and rub it in about your team losing......remember to stay calm and say, "Yup......they just got whooped by the better team last night." It works....I promise.

Goms hopes everyone has a 'graceful' week and tries out being 'graceful' for themselves and everyone around them......it actually works in every area of your lives. Hugs and mush, Gommy

Are You 'User Friendly'????

Good Sunday all.........Gommy must be some sort of 'thought magnet' because terms, words, phrases and terminology frequently pop out for Goms and that starts the old brain to ponder. This morning, the terminology 'User-Friendly' popped out for Goms. The definition of user -friendly is as follows; 1) the ease with which people can employ a certain tool or other human- made objects in order to obtain a certain goal, and 2) the study of the principles behind an object's perceived efficiency or elegance.

Gommy read the definition and immediately translated the first definition to mean, 'humans making humans'.... (as in our offspring being human-made) and the second definition to mean humans in general being 'the perceived efficiency or elegance' of those human-made offspring.

Parenting is a 'crap-roll' for some and a very thoughtful plan for others. Those parents that just roll the dice with their parenting and let the 'chips fall where they may', often end up with a messed-up child with a messed-up childhood. Those parents who plan the births of their children and give much thought to raising good citizens with good self-esteem, usually end up with a well adjusted child (and one who has attained elegance), who can navigate the world that is waiting for them.

Goms then started to wonder how many of us are really 'user-friendly' in our every day lives. Are we easy to get along with? Do we say what we mean and keep our word when we give it so we can be 'read' the way we intended? Are we generous in our hearts? Do we feel for those who have less than us? Are we kind to those who we come in contact with?

Then Goms thought, how 'user-friendly' are we with the gifts we are given, such as our very lives, or our ability to use the knowledge we are given, or how generous we are with those who don't have as much as we do? Then Bill and Melinda Gates came to mind. When we think of generous people, the Gates' pop out in a big way. They are the richest people in the USA and their philanthropy is HUGE. They 'get it' that they should give back for all they have been given. You hear people say all the time, "Why should we help x, y or z......they aren't my responsibility?" But the Gates' surely and thankfully don't think that way. They could just sit back and enjoy all their billions of dollars and not worry for a minute about the rest of us, but they don't. They give, give, give all the time to charities in our country and to developing countries who need medical treatment and for vaccines for third world countries so they aren't dying by the thousands because they don't have the knowledge to save their lives or the lives of their children.

The pastor and author Rick Warren, who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life", says that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. The words 'miser' and 'misery' come from the same root word. Think about it......

In the generosity area of our lives, it isn't so much the amount we give as the regularity with which we give. Everyone seems to be generous during the holidays....but that is 'impulse generosity'. Real generosity is when we give on a regular basis and not just when there is an urgent need. It would be a good thing if we all could become 'habitual givers'..... We also must remember that we cannot choose who we are good to or decide who should be the beneficiaries of 'goodness'. If we are truly good Christians.....shouldn't we then love ALL people? Remember....hate is not a family value. Most of us have much more than we could ever use and if that is so, it is 'expected' of us to do more than those who 'have not'. If you are a Bible reader, look up Luke 12:48 and see that is reads; "For unto whomsoever much is given, much will be required." What that means is that the more we are given, be it knowledge or gifts, the more useful we should be in the world. So, in proportion to what has been entrusted to us, the greater improvements of those gifts is expected from us. If you need another reference, look up Deuteronomy 15:7 - it reads, "If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother." That thought process should work even if anyone is not a Christian. Goms always says that no matter what your belief, if we could all just be 'Christ-like' in how we live our lives.....we would all be the better for it.

So, here's to beginning the week with charity in our hearts and begin to elegantly be more 'user-friendly' in how we are with our fellow human beings. Let's begin to explore our broader value as human beings and stop demonizing our differences. We can be so much more than we are. It's worth the attempt....Have a great week boys and girls.....and thank you God for all your Blessings. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

'Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go...'

Goms title is a little play on the Christmas song, "Let it Snow'...(just in case you didn't get the irony). We have just enjoyed our Thanksgiving Day festivities and Goms was wondering how everyone in families all across the country did with the yearly get-together this time. Each year we hear of wonderful times spent with friends and family but we also hear dreadful stories of 'times gone bad' at these annual functions. They even make movies about the 'dysfunctional family' holiday fiasco's!

Goms hopes all went well but in case it didn't, Goms will give a few things to think about before the next biggie holiday approaches.....Christmas.....for some, Chanukah for some and Kwanza for others. It seems that childhood baggage is usually the culprit when it comes to the hostilities that ensue and disrupt what was supposed to be a beautiful time together. Either brother Jim still resents brother Bob for being the 'favorite', or sister Sue still can't get over sister Mary having to always be right. Or Mom still has to tell us what we should be doing or what we have done wrong with the kids, (in her estimation anyway.) Dad was probably his usual non-committal self who just wanted to eat and then watch football.

On the 'rightness' issue, it turns out that some people just 'have' to be right, no matter what.... there just isn't any 'in between' with them. Those people are the 'black OR white' folks. For the other people on the opposite side of the discussion, who have those same issues.....it isn't so pleasant to be in the middle of the 'this ain't going anywhere' argument.


Some people don't seem to have a problem with agreeing to disagree because they can clearly live with a gray area. Everyone has their own 'set-point' of emotions, be it; anxiety, neatness, moodiness, etc. That is the 'biology' of being right. On the 'psychology' side of the coin is the reality that when you just can't be wrong and you have to defend your 'rightness' to the end.....it is actually your self-esteem that you are defending and a realization that you want 'control' over yourself and your emotions. We 'become' controlling from experiences in our childhood. Were our parents always fighting? Did you feel they were going to break up and you didn't know what to do with that emotion? Did Mom or Dad really love Susie more than me? Was I pretty or handsome enough? If you didn't like your 'world' at that developmental stage, you started trying to 'control' or change the outcome for yourself so you could be comfortable 'with' that emotion.


Goms thinks the people who didn't have many struggles as a child seem to do better with being okay with not being 'right' all the time. If you were an only child, at least you didn't have the sibling rivalry to contend with. But, you could face some new challenge later in life that you weren't prepared for that forces you to become controlling. Like, say a husband that is controlling and since you aren't used to 'sharing'....you start to control your surroundings with being a clean freak or some other malady. But, sooner or later, you are going to 'blowwwww' if you just keep everything inside.

But the good news is that you don't have to stay in either role forever. You don't have to be the one that is always giving in or the one that is being the 'relationship bully'. If you are the bully, you should ask yourself......"how is this working out for me?" If you have any INsight....you may just want to temper your bulliness before you push everyone away. Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be happy? Conversely, if you are the 'Doris-Doormat', you may want to speak up about how you don't appreciate having to give in to every issue that comes up.

Now, if you are in a 'fix my self-mode' sort of mind-frame....you can start using your 'filter' when issues come up (and they will come up) and you can refrain from immediately jumping in to 'prove' you are right. Even old dogs can learn new tricks if we really WANT to. And it won't be easy if you are the Doris Doormat to be heard at first either. People have been conditioned to seeing you as not 'having' and opinion. You will probably have to think of ways to interject what you are feeling that don't make the bully act in a reflexive and defensive way. You could suggest rephrasing the statement your partner (or relative) said because you didn't understand what they said or maybe say something like, "I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Maybe we aren't hearing what either of us is really saying."

When we can begin to realize that the reaction we receive from someone is really part 'their' emotional stuff and part 'our' emotional stuff and that we are just reliving the trauma that we never learned how to compartmentalize.....we will be all the better for understanding where everyone (including ourselves) is coming from!!!!!

So there, maybe this will help to make the Christmas or Chaunakah or Kwanza or any other faith get togethers a little less stressful for those that dread the annual festivities with family. For everyone else who does enjoy the holidays......BRING IT ON!!!! Let the fun begin......It really is much more pleasant to enjoy the time together and not just wish we could. Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))

The Day After Thankful........

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, what a wonderful Thanksgiving we had. Thank you Trace and John and the wee ones...Samantha & Brandon.....for sharing your home, your lives and your table.

Gommy had to work in the morning and was thinking of Tracey scurrying around the kitchen, preparing the components of the feast we all eventually enjoyed. Gommy thought of the Thanksgiving Day Parade that was on TV and the anticipation of family and friends getting together later in the day and it made Goms think of past holidays when my own mother and grandmother were the ones doing the preparing, cooking and fixing the meal to make the day so special for all my grown up memories.

It truly is a rite of passage that we do pass the baton to our own children and that is how it should be. One day, we will no longer be at the festivities, but we will be in the hearts and memories of our children, who we had made so many memories to remember and pass on.

Yesterday, my mom, Grandma Katie, and on Tracey's Dads' side, her grandmother Marilyn, were there in memory, if 'not in the flesh' as my mom was known to say . We had rutabaga (that is yellow turnip for those who don't know) that was always the fare in any holiday meal that my mother and grandmother made......and we had cranberry-apple jello mold that was always made at Tracey's Dad's side and was actually handed down by her great-grandmother Nell, who was Tracey's grandfathers' mother. It was heart-warming to see that Tracey will also hand down those memories to her own sweet little ones. So, we do all leave part of us for the next generation to remember us by.


I can still see my own mom, watching the parade while sitting at the table, stuffing celery with cream cheese and olives and my own children coming by and 'sampling' them as she made them. And mom always made our holiday feasts with love. Thank you Mom for all the wonderful memories I have of our family times growing up.....I miss you and I love you. I realize now how much we do miss those who have gone on. So Goms' advice is t0 enjoy and appreciate our family while we do have them. That is why this time of year is so joyful.....even the smells and aromas of the season can bring us right back to our own wonderful childhood memories.

It is a blessing, a joy and a gift to be with family at this special time of year. And although we remember those who aren't with us any longer with a heavy heart, they are with us in our fond memories of happy times we did share together. My own children are missed especially at holiday times and get togethers but they are with me in spirit always. Miss you Ter and Tiff.

So, Goms hopes everyone had a splendid and gobble-iscous day with family and friends. This is a 'wonderful time of the year' to coin a phrase. So, don't take it for granted. Make those wonderful memories with and for your own children. They will last a lifetime......Goms knows ((*.*))

Truly Thankful on Thanksgiving Day?

Gommy wants to wish everyone a truly happy and thankful Thanksgiving Day for tomorrow. Many will be visiting friends and family and hopefully the meaning of the day will touch our hearts and make us realize how much we all do have to be grateful and thankful for.


Sadly, there are many who will not get a delicious turkey and trimmings sort of day. They won't be sitting down with family to enjoy the blessings in front of them on the table or the loved ones all around them to share a bountiful meal with. They will be lucky if they get a crumb and a bowl of soup at a facility that is thankfully there for them each year while the rest of us are enjoying our day.


Goms doesn't want to be dreary but sometimes we need a wake-up call to become aware of just how much we do have. Goms, for one, is so very thankful for my friends and family and for a job with wonderful bosses and co-workers and a home to live in and a nice warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge. Goms is also thankful for a wonderful husband to share all these things with. Thank you God.....


Goms has posted this piece by an unknown author before, but Thanksgiving is probably the most appropriate time to re-post it.....Just in case you can't think of something to be thankful for tomorrow........try this" If you find it hard to sleep at night, remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in tonight. If you are stuck in traffic and find yourself getting upset, know there are people in this world for whom driving is not a privilege. If you have a bad day at work, think of the man or woman with a family to feed who has been out of work for months. If you should have a disappointing relationship, think of the person who has never known love, been loved or has lost a loved one. If your car should break down, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take the walk to find assistance. If you find yourself complaining about your life, remember those who didn't live long enough to have the opportunity to live a longer life. If you are having a bad hair day, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes they HAD hair. And finally, should you find yourself the victim of other people's prejudices, bitterness, anger, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse..... you could BE them. (sic)


Have a blessed day and enjoy yourself and your family tomorrow and really think about all you have to be thankful for.....there many things..... Goms is sure!!!

Some Assembly Required

Happy Sunday out there in blogland....The other day, Gommy read the phrase, "Some Assembly Required", and started thinking that the word 'assembly' has different meanings. Assembly can mean; 1) a set of parts to assemble (put together), 2) a set of parts so assembled, 3) a group of persons gathered together for a common reason, 4) a signal by bugle or drum for troops to come together for formation, 5) or a symbolic code for computer sciences... Whew! That is a bunch of meanings.

But for todays' purposes, Goms is going to talk about how we humans seem to require "Some Assembly"...meaning....help in putting ourselves together so we can function. Humans are the only species that Goms knows of that requires a life manual or books on 'how-to' do just about everything......i.e. lectures on how to live our lives, books on our feelings and how to raise our children, guides on what we should and shouldn't eat......geesh, have we gotten that far from our core beings that we can't even figure anything out for ourselves???? When you think about it, horses don't have manuals, tigers don't have manuals, goats and birds don't need to read a book on how to raise their young, elephants just know what they are supposed to eat and what not to eat......do you see a pattern here? Humans make such a big deal out of everything we do or feel or think, that we need a virtual 'life-road-map' to figure out where we've been or where we are going. We have, somewhere along the way, lost the ability to instinctively know what is best for us.

It's not really Rocket Science boys and girls. Eat, drink, sleep, go to work, be nice, appreciate what you have, show kindness to others, respect yourself and others, come back home.....REPEAT!!! When we realize that all the things we really need are already laid out for us to enjoy, we shouldn't mess with perfection......If it ain't broke....don't fix it! God already did a pretty good job of making sure we had everything we ever needed right here on the planet Earth. We just decided, in our infinite (or was it just finite) wisdom, that we could improve on things.....NOT!!!

Adam and Eve started this whole thing off, so we can blame them. Eckhart Tolle explains in his book, "A New Earth", that the Bible was translated from the ancient Greek, in which the New Testament was written, into English. In the translation, 'sin' is a word that has been misinterpreted and misunderstood over the years. The word sin was meant as, 'to miss the mark'. And 'Original Sin' was just meant to explain how Adam and Eve missed the mark for the very first time. Meaning, to miss the target or miss the point of human existence.

It means we suffer and cause suffering because we live our lives without thinking about the real meaning of our lives. We don't take the time to enjoy all that we are hurriedly trying to accumulate. We don't appreciate all we do have. Then we wait until people are dead and gone before we realize how much they meant to us and how much we will miss them.....AND how we wish we would have told them how much they meant while they were still here. So, if you take all the cultural baggage and the misinterpretation that has been handed down through the centuries, you will see that 'Original Sin' merely points to the inherent dysfunction in the human condition.

Soooooooo, Gommy says to STOP! 'missing the mark' and start enjoying all you do have. Be it a little or a whole lot.....there are many things to be grateful for in our lives. Just look around you. Everything we need, we already have, and it is really all we can say grace over. We don't have to continue the human dysfunctional way of living if we just take the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things life does have to offer. Have a great week boys and girls and Goms wishes you a wonderful Turkey Day.....Goms is sure going to enjoy and be thankful for spending the day with Grandpa, Tracey and her family on Turkey Day..... aka Thanksgiving.....YUM! ((*.*))

Transformation, Transistion and Change

Here we are and another week of our lives has passed. Goms hopes everyone had a nice section of life this week and we were all grateful for the many things we should have noticed and been grateful for.

It is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of griping or complaining about our lives. Goms has noticed a new acronym on some social networks lately. It is FML.....now Goms won't say what the 'F' stands for, but we all know it isn't fudge.....and it got Goms to thinking why someone would say that about a wonderful gift such as life.

If there is really something in a persons' life that is miserable or there was an event where they felt 'out of control', like maybe as a child growing up in an unhappy home, being sexually molested as a child, being emotionally abused, etc....you should try and change the way you process that part of your life. Usually it is something that has made us suffer emotionally, and we feel we weren't or are not in 'control' of our life in a certain area. If you let it go on long enough, we end up over-compensating and try to 'control' another area of our life and that can turn into an obsession and that obsession can manifest into an eating disorder (either restriction of calories or eating way too many calories resulting in obesity), or drinking to excess or using drugs to calm our 'crazy talk' in our mind and thinking it helps us cope.

We all have things that may be unpleasant to deal with in our day to day lives, but some things may just be a blessing in disguise if they are no longer a part your life. Take an abusive relationship. Some people stay in that sort of relationship because they feel safe with the 'known', even though it is a terrible way to live. But if the person were to get out of the relationship, their life could take on more meaning and they would eventually feel better about themselves. It isn't easy.....but it is definitely worth it to change that part of their life.

Now, sometimes we don't have a choice about what we leave or what 'leaves' us. Sometimes, things or people are taken from us. How we respond to events in our life, result in how happy or unhappy the rest of our life will be. If it is a loved one....that is a tough one to get through, but it can be done in time. If it is money or things.....you will eventually discover that you are the same person that 'had it all' as the person who is just fine with what you do have now. Try not to get tied up in 'nots'. If you have your health and a loving family.....what else do you really NEED?

Life is ever-changing.....so we had better get used to it and be able to navigate the changes that will affect us every day. But if you really feel you need to change something in your life.....why not start with becoming a 'new growth' in society that returns to being admired for your honesty, be the person who is polite to others once again, be the person who has empathy for the service worker who is just trying to make a living and don't yell at them because you are having a bad day, how about giving the respect you would like to receive from others, how about changing the way we look at the many things that we do have to be grateful for. Focus on the hundreds of things that did go right today; your car started, you had milk in your fridge for your cereal this morning, you had a bed to sleep in last night, you have people and friends who care about you, etc.....instead of the three or four things that may have gone wrong.

So, here's to finding many things to be thankful for this coming week leading up to the big 'THANKSGIVING' day celebration......We shouldn't have just one day that we are thankful....Goms, for one, is thankful EVERY day for my life. Goms is making up her own acronym from now on.... It will be -LML.....(LOVE MY LIFE) and thank you God......Have a great week everyone! ((*.*))

Causes of Suffering

Hello boys and girls....Happy Sunday and isn't it another glorious day to be grateful? Gommy was recently studying up on how to 'lighten up' and began reading some thoughts by the 15th century philosopher Rodante.....oops, did I say lighten up????? Anywho, it seems we have to understand where our suffering comes from before we can address it...Now, before we go on....if anyone out there in blogland knows Gommy and starts thinking, "Is this about me?"...the answer is NO....Gommy does have some issues of her own that she would like to 'clean up'.....Goms isn't perfect you know....(I didn't mean to shock anyone out there in Etherland....LOL)

So, on to finding out what causes suffering. And this is not the kind of suffering we feel when we lose a loved one. This is the self-inflicted suffering most of us have to endure because we don't realize we are the very ones inflicting it upon ourselves. Renowned inspirational speaker Dr. Deepak Chopra says there are five causes of suffering; 1) Ignorance of reality 2) Clinging to the transient (i.e. impermanence) 3) Fear of the transient (aka change) 4) Identifying with the fraud of the ego (lying to ourselves ABOUT ourselves), and 5) Fear of Death.

If we want to start the process of awakening our consciousness so we can begin to undo some of the suffering we cause in our psyche, begin by sitting quietly and ask your heart (metaphorically speaking), "Who am I?"...then wait, but don't try to answer....then ask, "what do I want out of life?"....then wait again, but do not try to answer....then ask yourself, "What is my purpose for being?"...again, wait but don't answer. After doing this for a time, situations, people, circumstances, relationships and events will show up in your life to answer your questions. This is just the way consciousness is set up. But you have to notice the answers when they do appear. Most people ignore the signs or the feelings we get about a question we have.

Another interesting thing about humans, is that we have opposite values in us, like the opposite values of the Universe. There cannot be light without darkness....there cannot be good without the contrast of evil....or rainbows without rain, generosity without stinginess...and on and on and on. The dynamic speaker on problem personalities, Dr. Simon, says all humans have within them, all of the aspects of the spectrum but we choose to deny the ones we dislike. From early on in our lives, we realize that when we display our nicer qualities, such as kindness, generosity, happiness, humor, etc., we receive adulation from showing those good qualities. We, therefore, try to hide the darker side of 'us' and hope no one discovers that side. Showing only the good side of ourselves is our 'Social Mask'. But after a time, we eventually do show the unpleasant side because it is impossible to keep it bottled up inside forever. This is sometimes evident with politicians or religious people who profess to 'hate' a certain social behavior and are the very first ones to cast stones....then one day, they themselves are proven to do the exact same thing they were criticizing. This is because when we don't own and embrace our darker side, we tend to try and lock it away in hopes it will stay hidden from us and the world around us. But guess what? You can't hide a part of you forever. In time, it will come out and end up manifesting in self-destructive behavior. Just like the politicians and clergy that seemingly 'shoot themselves in the foot'. We all have both sides in our personalities and if we come to terms with the parts we don't like, it will be much easier to live with ourselves.

Think of the people you respond to either positively or negatively in a strong emotional way. Those people that you love and those that you hate are actually both mirrors of yourself, (er... ourselves.) When you look in the mirror and see someone you love, that is what you want to see. But when you look in the mirror of the person you don't like, you project it outward rather than accepting it internally. So, if you really want to uncover the 'shadow you' you must ask yourself, when you are reacting strongly against someone, "What is it about that person which is really reflecting back something about myself that I don't like?" At first, you will say there is nothing about that person that is like you. But if you look deeper, you will usually realize there is some part of you that is resonating with that person. When you can own and embrace that knowledge, you will find that you will become less reactive when you are with that person. For example, if someone is late all the time and you are always punctual, your 'shadow self' is probably fearful of becoming tardy and late all the time. But then your 'shadow self' is screaming, "Let me out! That isn't fair....how do they get away with that and I can't?"

If you want to change a trait about yourself, you must find out when and how that trait started. Our traits began at some level to protect us from something that happened in our life at one time. You must then ask yourself if that trait is still serving any purpose in your life any longer. If not, how can you express that emotion in another way, without making everyone around you think you are always late.....or pushy, or caustic, or cynical or stingy or whatever trait that it is that you wish you could change.

We could all probably use an overhaul and dump a lot of the 'unnecessary traits' that we don't like about ourselves and we don't need any longer. This is work boys and girls....but it is work that may just allow you to 'lighten up' sooner rather than later.....Good luck....Goms has some excess baggage to examine!!! Have a great week everyone!!! Hugs & Mush-Gommy

Pre-Thanksgiving Thanks

Hi boys and girls....this week, a friend of Gommys' asked if Goms could put a reason to be thankful on my Facebook status every day, leading up to Thanksgiving Day. She said it would get harder each day, but Goms has found it to be pretty easy. Gommy has soooooo many things to be thankful for that it would take many years of days leading up to Thanksgivings until Goms isn't here any longer to say how thankful I am.

Believe it or not, growing older is one thing that Gommy is thankful for. Growing older is such a gift because although our physical eyesight may worsen, our spiritual eyesight becomes 20/20. We actually do become so much more thankful for so many things in our lives. We can see things much more clearly than when we were young. We are so much more comfortable in our own skin than when we were young (plus, there is alot more skin to be comfortable in, LOL). When we are young, we thought it was the end of the world if we broke up with someone. But when we get older.....we realize that we can't even remember how they looked or what their name was in some instances....When we are young parents, we think we are 'breaking' our kids or ruining them for life....but when we get older we see that everyone makes mistakes with their kids and they aren't really broken or ruined after all. When we are young, we think life is too boring, or too busy or too chaotic or too........but when we get older, we realize those were the 'best' years with our children. Those were the years our children still wanted to be with us, sleep WITH us, take care of them..... We see all of these things crystal clearly as we age. It is really a shame that we can't have a glimpse into the future when it would really help us deal with what we are dealing with on a daily basis as young adults and parents.

There is a quote that says, "If you knew who walks beside you at all times, on this path that YOU have chosen, you could never experience doubt or fear again." (sic) What that means is that we are trying too hard to manage the details of our lives and the details are occupying too much of our intentions.

Intention is another meaningful word. There was a man named Carlos Castaneda, who was born in Peru in 1925. He was an anthropologist, author and a philosopher who said, "In the Universe, there is an unmeasurable and indescribable Force which those who live 'of the source', is called intention. And that absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to 'intent' by a connecting link." Goms thinks he meant that everything in the Universe that 'is' or is happening is meant to happen, so we should surrender when things are seemingly falling apart because we aren't really in control, that by 'letting go' and 'going with the flow', we can take it a bit easier. Now, that doesn't mean to give up.....Just like the American Indian quote goes....."Pray to God, but row away from the rocks."....we can't just idly walk in front of oncoming traffic and say, "Oh well, it was intended to be." The connecting link thingy means to Gommy that we are interconnected in ways that we don't even realize. Like, did you ever think why you clicked onto 'gommysgoodies' today? Maybe you were supposed to learn some 'lesson' from reading my blog today.

We can also intend to heal ourselves....now don't get scared away here.....Goms isn't some woo-woo self-professed 'Faith Healer'. But if you think about our bodies, our body is meant to heal itself....don't think so? Have you ever thought why a scratch gets covered over by a scab? Or how does that nagging cough from our colds finally go away? Or why do we get low-grade fevers, (in case you really don't know that one..... some low-grade fevers actually kill off bacteria in our body to fight infection and allow us to heal.) So there.......we are meant to "Heal Thyself"....to coin a phrase...LOL

So, now on to the next step. If you intend for something to happen (manifest) in your life, you must attempt to manifest what you want with 'passion'. Passion is when you are really serious about what you want in your life. Without passion, Wayne Dyer says it is,"like dressing up a corpse." Pretty futile right? Or like my Mom used to say...."You are all dressed up with no place to go." You have to be passionate about what you want to have it manifest. Gommy is absolutely, positively and unabashedly sure that Grandpa Mike and Goms is back in Florida to live because Goms was passionate about wanting to live back here. There were no signs that it could EVER happen a little over a year ago with the circumstances we were facing.....but voile'...here we are! Living proof....and there were many who thought Goms was a bit woo-woo when I just knew it would happen......ta-daaaa!

So, everyone out there in blogland.....think of things you have to be grateful for and be passionate about the things you desire. Then and only then will they manifest....Toodle- ooooo and good luck - Hugs & Mush, Gommys

What You Resist - Persists!

Hello out there in blog land....This morning Goms got up and started watching some morning TV. There were some ads for the upcoming holidays that make you feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about how wonderful the holidays are and how fast they are approaching. Then there was the segment where they show the people outside in the crowd and they were waving flags today for Veterans Day. Then the news started and the first segment was about the Presidents' 'War Council'.................EKEEEEE!!!!! Now, this is in no way a political piece. Goms is for everyone believing the way they feel they want. This is just Goms wondering how we seamlessly go from happy thoughts of the approaching holidays to nonchalantly discussing the'progress'of the war so easily. Are we, as a people, so desensitized to killing that we just accept any information or content that is offered to us?

This really goes back to what Goms has said before in other blogs. 'What we resist-persists....'Ever heard of the 'war on crime?'....'the war on poverty?'....the war on aids?'...the 'war on war?"How is that working out boys and girls? Not so well, is it? Goms thinks the administration should form a 'Council on Peace'.....This is not to say that the present administration is the only administration to have had a 'war council'.....they have been around a long time. DUH...about as long as there were wars for our young people to fight. Strangely, this does goes hand in hand with being grateful to all of our service members in the military and all of the past Veterans who have fought for our freedoms. Thank you one and all. But..........Goms thinks it is about time we start thinking of ways to avoid wars and ways to get out of wars.

Goms is from the generation that marched against the war....(er insisted) 'we' (the USA) get out of Viet Nam. I have to give it to my generation for having the insight and wherewith all to say "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Anyone with any intelligence (the US Intelligence Department included) should realize that we are NEVER going to force the people in those far away lands to think the way we do.....So Goms says, let them have their own culture and their own way of thinking how they should live. We have plenty to clean up in our own backyards don't we? Until all the homeless people in our cities and the children of the lower end of the income bracket in our own country have a decent place to live and food to eat, we should just clean up our own act before we tell other lands how to live. Ya' think?????

Well, thanks again Veterans and all of our military. We are proud of you and grateful for your service. Maybe some day, our military will just be used to protect us from intruders(not foreigners who come to us legally) into our own country. Wouldn't that be nice? If anyone is off today for Veterans' Day...........enjoy. Everyone else, still enjoy your day. Hugs & Mush - Gommy

Quotes from American Indians

Gommy was thinking of something to write for this Sunday and while looking up different things, I came upon some quotations from American Indians. They are so poignant that Goms will not even attempt to say anything about them. If you have the time and the inclination, just read them and then re-read them.....I promise you will get much wisdom from their wisdom.....
ENJOY! They are as follows:

It is less of a problem to be poor, than to be dishonest.

Walk lightly in the spring; Mother Earth is pregnant.

Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance.

When a man moves away from nature, his heart becomes hard.

Seek wisdom, not knowledge. Knowledge is of the past, Wisdom is of the future.

Pray to understand what man has forgotten.

If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

You cannot wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

Words are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark.
Guard them well or one day you may be your own victim. (sic)

White men have too many chiefs.

Every animal knows more than you do.

Talk to your children while they are eating; what you say will stay even after you are gone.

The coward shoots with eyes shut.

It is easy to be brave from a distance.

Cherish youth, but trust old age.

The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.

They are not dead who live in the hearts they leave behind.

If we wonder often, the gift of knowledge will come.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins.

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.

Wisdom comes only when you stop looking for it and start living the life the Creator intended for you.

One finger cannot lift a pebble.

A brave man dies but once, a coward many times.

And one that is ONE of my favorites: "Pray to God.....but steer away from the rocks."

And the final one is not by an American Indian but by Jorges Luis Borges. Goms just felt it was very thought provoking.....it is; "Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."

That's it for this Sunday boys and girls. I hope you got as much from these wise words as Goms did.....Have a Blessed day....Hugs & Mush - Goms ((*.*))

May I Help YOU?

Gommy had the opportunity to speak with someone this week who was going through a 'bad patch' in his life. He is an AA member and had been doing very well for the past ten or so months. He had worked his way though a program and was almost finished and he had also worked his way up to managing a department where he worked. He was 'intent' on doing well and staying sober............then in just one unfortunate momemt...........poof.......it was all gone.....Back to 'Square One'. That got Gommy to wondering why some of us 'shoot ourselves in the foot', when it would appear that what we really want is to be happy. When Goms started really thinking about it further.........it became clear that he had been darker and quieter than usual the last few times Goms saw and spoke with him. There were 'red flags' that Goms should have noticed but in my 'Bob and Weave' mentality of not getting anything on me....I mistakenly overlooked the signs that may have helped him 'run off the road' (of life that is).

We all have times that we feel sorry for ourselves...'self-pity' is just the ego getting in our way. The ego is a cover-up for self-pity. The more egotistical and puffed-up you are, the more you are feeling sorry for yourself that things aren't the way you wish they were and you make yourself more important than you are (in your own mind anyway). There is a saying by the Native American Indians Ojibwe that goes, "Now and then I go about pitying myself and all the while my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky."


This ties in to feeling so sorry for ourselves that we cause ourselves actual pain. I told my friend that he would have to go back to a time in his life that someone made him feel he was worthless.....or made him feel very insecure about himself. Then he would have to retrain himself to stop the 'monkey-talk' he tells himself all the time to change his perspective of himself. What you have to do to retrain yourself is when the 'self-hate talk' starts in your head is to step outside of yourself and observe "IT" and say to "IT" ...."There goes my brain....misfiring again....SHUT-UP!" Then, switch that emotion immediately and think of something very pleasant that made you feel happy or fulfilling like your childs' sweet face, a time you fell in love and what that feeling felt like, or an accomplishment that made you feel very fulfilled....That is how you break the egos' ability to make you do something foolish that will bring you back to being unhappy and doing something that makes you 'shoot yourself in the foot'.


You must have a respectful awareness of your actions and responses to adverse situations. Don't let your ego distract you from doing what makes you feel good. Be respectful to yourself! You deserve to be happy. Disconnect from your 'monkey-talk' the moment it starts. If we were all as respectful to ourselves and our spouses or significant others as we were to strangers....WOW....wouldn't that be nice????? We can do it. Just think before you respond to a negative event or argument. Let your spouse or S.O. let off steam when they are tired or upset about something. Remember that you are just a sounding board to their aggravation and if you just listen and do not respond.....they will usually just fizzle out and realize they are treating you unjustly and will feel sorry for it and apologize....maybe not right that minute, but later on if they are at all aware of their surroundings. If you are with a jerk............never mind.....((*o*)).....But like another Native American saying goes, "No tree has branches so foolish as to fight among themselves." Meaning, it is fruitless to fight when we are supposed to be 'one'....right?


So, if anyone out there in blogland is going through a rough patch.......Goms hopes this may have helped you in some way. Have a great day guys....Goms is going for a walk on the beach and have some more aha moments for myself to enjoy!!!! Hugs and Mush.....

Happy Birthday Mother

Yesterday was my husbands' (Grandpa Mike) mother's 85th birthday and we were fortunate enough to get to visit with her in Cocoa Beach with Grandpa Mikes' sister Cathy and her husband Rick. Mary Anne (Grandpas' Mom who the family calls 'Nana') has been feeling poorly lately and it was so good to be able to visit with her and Susan (Grandpa's sister who lives with Nana). We are finally all in the same state and even though we live a distance from each other, it's easier to visit more often now that Grandpa and Gommy have moved back 'home'.

Nana wasn't feeling much like doing or going anywhere for her birthday but we talked her into trying to spend the night in the motel-resort right across the street from where they live. It was a suite of two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a dining room and living room. This made it easier for all of us to be in the same building so we could eat a birthday dinner with Nana and have birthday dessert together. We explained that if Nana didn't feel up to it, we would bring her right back to her home after we ate dinner and celebrated with cheesecake (Nanas' favorite dessert) and coconut cake (Cathys' favorite dessert) instead of birthday cake.

The resort was right on the beach and we sat on the balcony and talked about old times and different memories each of the siblings remembered and just enjoyed the 'full moon', the sounds of the ocean, the sweet salty smell of the wind and watching the resort cats scurry below looking for something to eat...... and just plain enjoying each others company. It seems that most people don't do that anymore. If there isn't a TV on, they don't know how to interact with each other. We talked of Grandaddy Billy and how we missed him since he died. And we swore we could all see his face in the big full moon and felt he was with us, celebrating Nanas' day.

I told Nana that I had been thinking, while we were driving up to see her earlier in the day, that I am now just about the age she was when I first met her. Boy....where does the time go? It makes you appreciate your agility, good health and all around quality of life when you realize how quickly we do age.

We have so many good memories of times spent together for special occasions like birthdays and holidays. But it is never quite the same when your parents are no longer around to celebrate those times with you. They are the glue that holds families together and when they are gone.........the siblings and extended family just seem to drift apart like a boat that has become un-moored from a dock.

Gommy would like to thank Nana and Grandaddy for the many happy memories over the past twenty-five years. We had some really good times and those memories are a treasure. They never missed a birthday, graduation, christening, holiday or any other special occasion, even if their child lived in another state. They made the trek and their being there added to the specialness of the day.

So, here's to Nana (and Grandaddy, wherever you are)......you are loved very much and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for everything you have done for us and all that you are.

Gommy would also like to thank Susan (Grandpa Mikes' sister) for being such a wonderful daughter to Nana and Grandaddy all these years. Susan has always lived with Nana and Grandaddy and she is a remarkable woman. We love you too Susan.....thank you.

Everyone who still has their parents for this upcoming holiday season should say a special thank you that they are blessed with the opportunity to still have their parents with them. May you enjoy your upcoming holidays and recall all the holidays gone by and tell your Mom or Dad how much you appreciate all they did for you. Now that you have a family yourself, you can see what it entails to make everything 'seem' to go seamlessly......Not so easy is it? When we were children and young adults, we took everything our parents did for us for granted and didn't even think of the sacrifices they made for us so that we could have a nice childhood. As we have families and children of our own, we become very aware just how hard it can be to raise a family and we find that we are now the ones doing the sacrificing......So take a minute to think about all you have to be grateful to your parents for and give them a little 'thank-you' some time......They will appreciate it. Gommy loves how my Tracey tells me how much she appreciates me. That is really all we as parents really live for now anyway, isn't it?

Toodle-oooo boys and girls in blogland. See you next time- Hugs, Gommy

Ode to Terry and Tiffany

Today is seventeen years since my beautiful Terry Alan Pribisco and Tiffany Ann Pribisco were taken from us in a car accident. The loss is too profound to try to explain in words, so as their mother, if you will allow me, I will merely share some wonderful memories I have of them and of our brief, but awesome time together.

Terry was my first-born and a very social and busy boy. He even started walking early (around ten-months old) and he never slowed down after that. Gommy was a young mom in today's estimation (22). There are pros and cons to having your children while you are still relatively young, but Goms is happy she did have her children so young so I am now able to enjoy and still have a viable relationship with my grandchildren, i.e. having the stamina to chase after them and even the ability to pick them up. And now Terry's children are 18 & 17 and Goms can still relate to them (well, sort of) in their teen and young adult years.

Terry was a beautiful child and he grew up to be a very handsome hunk of a man....I know I am prejudiced, but several people over the years have told me the same thing so it can't be all bias. Terry had an incredible sense of humor and I miss sharing so many belly laughs with him on so many levels. Terry was a hunter when he was a young boy, just as his father was. His father Terry, taught hm how to use a shot-gun (for hunting purposes) at the early age of eight and when he turned ten, big Terry (that's how we differentiated between them) bought him his first 410-gauge shotgun. We lived in a small rural town in southwest Florida and it allowed Little Terry (L.T.) to hunt at his leisure....He would bring home quail, dove, squirrel and other critters he had killed and ask me to cook them for him. Of course I did, because I didn't want to encourage him to kill just for the sake of killing. Goms never ate any of the game he shot because I didn't grow up in a hunting family and never acquired the taste for it. Everyone used to tell me that the game they killed tasted just like chicken and Goms always answered, "I'll just have the chicken then!" Terry had quite an arsenal of guns in his lifetime. My mother (Grandma Katie) even bought him two Civil War Calvary guns for his collection. Big Terry was quite a hunter himself and all of his guns went to L.T. when he died in a car accident nines years before Terry and Tiff died. Terry was only 12 years old at the time, Tracey was 11 and Tiffany was 8.

Terry had a kind heart and was very protective of me as his Mom. While growing up, Terry was the kind of child that never talked back to me. He did, however, still do what he intended to do if it mattered enough to him....What is that called in psychological terms? Passive-aggressive. Whatever it was, it sure made it easier to be his parent because we didn't have any screaming meemie fights. Just the repercussions of what he decided to end up doing. Mostly, the things he did were just tolerable things that teens do that their parent would rather they didn't. All in all, Terry really was a good kid.

When Terry graduated from high-school, he decided on his own, to go into the Army. As his mother, I worried that he was going to have to endure quite a bit of verbal abuse from his Sgts. Goms worried for nothing because Terry excelled beyond any wildest imaginations. He not only became a memer of the 82nd Airborne Division of the Army, as an ace paratrooper, he later went on to become a decorated member of the esteemed Airborne Ranger division of the Army. Little Terry's gun expertise was rather impressive and by the time he did make it to Army Airborne Ranger, he had earned several certificates as a 'sharpshooter'. I guess that 410 shotgun his Dad gave him as a kid was just the beginning. And by the way, Little Terry turned to be a gorgeous 6ft. 2in specimen of a man. His nickname in the Army was "Biscuit". You always get a nickname in the Army and because his last name was Pribisco.....you get it?.....Nabisco? "Biscuit" is what his buddies called him and that is what he called his son when he was born.

Terry was not afraid of anything. He even raced motorcycles in his leathers (pink ones at that) at break-neck speeds around a track. I saw him once doing a wheelie on University Drive ( a very busy street in South Florida) and I almost had a heart attack. But, that was my boy! Fearless was his middle name. The wheelie incident would be a good example of him doing something a parent would rather he didn't.

When Terry became a father himself, you would have thought he invented 'fatherhood'. He carried his son, Terry III, around as if he were the 'Hope Diamond'. You could actually see the love oozing out of his every pore for his son. He was soooo very proud of his little boy. Sadly, Terry never got to see his amazing and beautiful daughter Megan. She was born three days before he died. He and Tiffany were actually on the way over to see her when the crash happened. The officer told me that there were several baby gifts and a stroller strewn all over the accident site. I know Terry would have oozed that same love for his baby girl as well, if he had ever been given the opportunity to see her.

Terry was very accomplished for his young years. By the time he died at twenty-two, he had become a paratrooper in the Army, had dropped down over Saudi Arabia and other Middle East targets and he was chosen (because of his elite training) to be a guard at the DMZ in Korea. When he eventually became an Airborne Ranger, (one of the most elite branches of the Army in training and endurance) he wore the beret, wings and tattoos with the pride they demanded. As I went through his belongings, I found several honors and letters of mention of his bravery and accomplishments. He had never mentioned any of this to me (or his sisters as far as I know). Terry just wasn't a braggart. I have since been contacted by some of his Army buds who have espoused Terrys' great character to me. They have told me that Terry was a friend and a man of honor and they felt their lives were made all the better for knowing him. There can be no higher accolade in the world for a mother to hear about her child. I love you Terry and always will....you are missed every day of my life, more than any words could ever say and you will always have a special place in my heart.

Now for my sweet, wonderful, amazing Tiffany. Tiffany was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside... and she was a very beautiful girl. Tiffany was only 17 when she died but she was an 'old soul'. I always said she was old beyond her years. It was almost as if she had been here several times in many other lifetimes and had just gotten better each time. I take comfort in thinking that she was just 'finished' here on earth and it was her time to go. She couldn't improve any more than she had....so why stick around?

Just as an example of how special Tiff was.....I still get cards and gifts on Tiff's birthday and on the anniversary of her death. Her high-school art teacher, Ms. Carla Stiles, has never forgotten one year since Tiff died, to send me a card and a little something to let me know she misses and still loves Tiff to this day.

Tiff was the kind of person who lit up a room. She had a smile that was infectious. She taught me to never keep a compliment to myself....meaning that if someone looks especially nice, or is wearing something flattering, or their hair looks pretty....tell them. She always did that herself and it made me realize how one little compliment may just 'make the day' for the person you are saying something nice to. We can learn from our children as well they learn from us.

Tiffany was very vocal and animated (her Dad fondly called her "Jabber-Jaw' when she was little). Tiff had her own distinct style about her at a very young age and she was always 'put together' very well. Tiff loved clothes and shoes, as do many teens, but Tiff just seemed to know how to put it all together just right. She could do things with her hair that even I couldn't do....and I am a licensed hair dresser! While she was still in high-school, Tiff decided to go to nail tech school. That wasn't her chosen profession, she just wanted to make some good money while she was still in school. So, on her own, she did indeed go to nail school, got her license and went to work in a salon. With her artistic talents, she could paint the most beautiful and smallest artwork on the nail bed of patrons that you could ever imagine. With her personality, she had many clients who requested just her and they all loved her. One Christmas, she painted Christmas lights on each of my ten nails and they looked as if they were connected by little electric wires from one nail to the next. Another time, she painted Minnie Mouse on one of my nails and the likeness was amazing. She even painted on the little polka dots on Minnie's dress! She made much more money at her job than she would have slinging burgers somewhere. Tiff would have been graduating with honors from South Broward High School in just a few months when the accident happened. The school even gave me her diploma, posthumously, at a special awards ceremony and there as a whole section dedicated to Tiffany in the school yearbook.

Even after 17 years, people still share wonderful stories with me about Tiffany. People have reached out to me that I don't even know that knew Tiff. They relate wonderful times they had with Tiff. As her Mom, I already know how great she was, but it is always special to hear. One friend told me she still keeps a picture of Tiffany in her house and has told her own daughter how special Tiffany was. It can be very frustrating to speak with someone who didn't know Terry or Tiff because words can't describe what awesome people they were.

When Tiff was only about 4 years old...the song "You Light Up My Life", by Debbie Boone was popular and Tiff would put on her pink chiffon nighty and pretend it was a ball-gown and use her "Mr. Microphone" and belt out the song....and she was pretty darn good too. I heard that song not too long ago come on the radio while I was driving and I had to pull over to the side of the road because it made me so emotional and it brought me right back to that sweet little voice singing to her Mommy and anyone else in the 'playroom' who would listen. You could very well say that Tiff surely did 'Light Up My Life'. I love you 'Spiffy Tiffy'. Always have.....always will!

So, one might ask...why would two such awesome people have been taken from us? I have asked myself that so many times over this 17 years that I can't even count the times. Losing them has made me search in ways I never would have searched for answers before. By search I mean for more meaning in my life and meaning in life in general. I have wondered over the years how a beautiful soul such as Terry could have done all the daring and dangerous things he did in his 22 years, just to die in a Honda Prelude. And I have asked the same question about sweet Tiff....why a kind, sweet, smart and generous girl could be snatched from us before she had a chance to do all the wonderful things I know she would have done in her life. But, like I have said before....they must have just been finished here. There wasn't much more they could have improved on. But as I have also said so many times before.....I am grateful and feel honored to have had the privilege of being their mother. But I have to admit that I do feel their loss is like the 'phantom limb sensation', where when a limb has been amputated from you, but you still feel it is a part of you. Terry and Tiff many have been 'amputated' from my life.....but they will always be a part of me. And if anyone wonders if I would give up having Terry and Tiffany in my life so I didn't have to go through the hurt of losing them.....the answer is a resounding ..NO WAY! You see, I remember every wonderful moment I ever spent with them and I cherish those memories and I will for as long as I live.

So, thank you to all my readers out there in blogland for allowing a mother to sing the praises of two very wonderful children. It has been too long since I have enjoyed this sort of bragging about my sweet Terry and Tiffany...And this would be a very good time to remind you all to kiss your own babies and hold them tight. We only have them for a very short time as it is....and when they are taken from us too soon, it leaves an empty place in your heart forever. So, make sure you savor every second you get with your own children because we only get a precious but slender sliver of time with them and remember this wise and heartfelt advice from Gommy....

DON'T BLINK!!! Bless you all and your families as well....Hugs & Mush, Gommy