Gommy had the opportunity to speak with someone this week who was going through a 'bad patch' in his life. He is an AA member and had been doing very well for the past ten or so months. He had worked his way though a program and was almost finished and he had also worked his way up to managing a department where he worked. He was 'intent' on doing well and staying sober............then in just one unfortunate momemt...........poof.......it was all gone.....Back to 'Square One'. That got Gommy to wondering why some of us 'shoot ourselves in the foot', when it would appear that what we really want is to be happy. When Goms started really thinking about it further.........it became clear that he had been darker and quieter than usual the last few times Goms saw and spoke with him. There were 'red flags' that Goms should have noticed but in my 'Bob and Weave' mentality of not getting anything on me....I mistakenly overlooked the signs that may have helped him 'run off the road' (of life that is).
We all have times that we feel sorry for ourselves...'self-pity' is just the ego getting in our way. The ego is a cover-up for self-pity. The more egotistical and puffed-up you are, the more you are feeling sorry for yourself that things aren't the way you wish they were and you make yourself more important than you are (in your own mind anyway). There is a saying by the Native American Indians Ojibwe that goes, "Now and then I go about pitying myself and all the while my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky."
This ties in to feeling so sorry for ourselves that we cause ourselves actual pain. I told my friend that he would have to go back to a time in his life that someone made him feel he was worthless.....or made him feel very insecure about himself. Then he would have to retrain himself to stop the 'monkey-talk' he tells himself all the time to change his perspective of himself. What you have to do to retrain yourself is when the 'self-hate talk' starts in your head is to step outside of yourself and observe "IT" and say to "IT" ...."There goes my brain....misfiring again....SHUT-UP!" Then, switch that emotion immediately and think of something very pleasant that made you feel happy or fulfilling like your childs' sweet face, a time you fell in love and what that feeling felt like, or an accomplishment that made you feel very fulfilled....That is how you break the egos' ability to make you do something foolish that will bring you back to being unhappy and doing something that makes you 'shoot yourself in the foot'.
You must have a respectful awareness of your actions and responses to adverse situations. Don't let your ego distract you from doing what makes you feel good. Be respectful to yourself! You deserve to be happy. Disconnect from your 'monkey-talk' the moment it starts. If we were all as respectful to ourselves and our spouses or significant others as we were to strangers....WOW....wouldn't that be nice????? We can do it. Just think before you respond to a negative event or argument. Let your spouse or S.O. let off steam when they are tired or upset about something. Remember that you are just a sounding board to their aggravation and if you just listen and do not respond.....they will usually just fizzle out and realize they are treating you unjustly and will feel sorry for it and apologize....maybe not right that minute, but later on if they are at all aware of their surroundings. If you are with a jerk............never mind.....((*o*)).....But like another Native American saying goes, "No tree has branches so foolish as to fight among themselves." Meaning, it is fruitless to fight when we are supposed to be 'one'....right?
So, if anyone out there in blogland is going through a rough patch.......Goms hopes this may have helped you in some way. Have a great day guys....Goms is going for a walk on the beach and have some more aha moments for myself to enjoy!!!! Hugs and Mush.....
