Today you would have been 35 years old. Happy Birthday my sweet Tiffany. Today you would still have been the beautiful girl you always were. You were the bright light that entered any room. You were the sweetness of youth. You were the promise of a wonderful life ahead. But to me, you will always be MY little girl.
Thank you for choosing me as your Mom. Thank you for the countless times you made me so proud of you. Thank you for your cheerful smile and beautiful disposition. Thank you for loving me so much and allowing me to know that kind of love. And thank you for teaching me how to be a better person. And for wanting to be a better person.
I sometimes hear people complaining about their children and I am so afraid for them. I am afraid that one day they may know the depths of despair that comes when that child is taken away from them forever. I want to scream....YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE YOUR CHILD! But I keep my silence, because no one wants you to make them feel badly and they will just get defensive anyway. So I just keep my terrible secret....the secret of knowing that no matter what the problem may be, it doesn't compare with the agony of not having that child be with you any longer.
I know one day we will be together again Tiff. And until that day, I know you are with me always. I feel you there in the gentle breeze as I sit on the beach......I feel you there when I go to the mall and remember all the times we went together and I just know you would be soooo up on all the styles. I feel you there when a song comes on the radio and I can still hear your sweet voice singing in the car or remember you listening to your music while you used to get ready for school. I feel you when I am feeling down and I can picture that beautiful smile of yours and somehow that makes everything all right again for a while. I feel you with me always my sweet, sweet, dear Tiffany. Thank you for watching out for me.....I know I am never really alone because you are there with me.
Our lives will never be the way it was when you and Terry were with us. Our lives are still blessed because we have your sister Tracey and her special family and Terry's beautiful children and now Mike has a little granddaughter that I just know you would love.....but our 'family wheel' is missing spokes and no matter that it still rolls along.....something is always missing. I miss you in all the big and little things of life. I miss you every day my sweet Tiff. Every birthday, every holiday, every day that I wake without you in it....I miss your sweet scent, your beautiful blue eyes, your gorgeous hair, your infectious laugh, I miss the way you made me marvel at the goodness of you....I miss the way we would watch TV and sit on the couch while we would softly tickle each other. I love you more now than ever and more than I can say in words. My love for you grows even though we can't be together right now.
So, thank you my sweet Tiffany. Thank you for being you and for coming into my life. I will love you always and forever.....Happy Birthday Spiffy Tiffy...Mom
