Bitter or Better?

Hello boys and girls. It's another glorious Saturday and another day to be grateful for our blessings. Gommy was 'Friended' by someone yesterday on Facebook who knew my daughter Tiffany. Tiffany died 18 years ago, along with my son Terry in a car accident. Gommy always gets excited to meet anyone who knew my special Angels. It is terribly hard to speak of them to people who weren't fortunate to have met them. This is because nothing I can say about them, would ever capture the essence of of their beautiful spirits.

But back to the new Friend. This woman had also lost a daughter and I could tell she is still struggling. Losing a child is the worse thing any parent will ever have to face. My husband had the occasion of meeting a couple who just lost their daughter to cancer recently and she was just a little over a year old. It doesn't matter how old your child is when they are taken from you. A mother is a mother all of her life. Even when her children are grown with children of their own.....a mom still sees her child as the person who she would give up her own life for.

My new Friend said that I must be a strong woman to have gone through what I did when my children were taken. But, I explained to her that we have a choice when something horrendous happens in our life. We can become bitter or we can look for a way to BE better. The couple who lost their precious little girl is having a golf tournament to honor her life and my husband will run it for them. The monies raised will go to finding a cure for cancer. This brings another thought to mind. Goms firmly believes that there are no coincidences.I feel these people were meant to cross paths with my hubby.....because he understands what they are going through. When Terry and Tiffany died, he put on a golf tournament to honor their memory and to award scholarships in their name at the high school they attended. These things we do in memory of our angels....help us to feel closer to them. It also is a way to do something good instead of becoming bitter and blaming the world for such a terrible situation.

Many people who have losses never seem to get over them. Sadly, they do become bitter and the rest of their lives are defined by the death. It is much more fulfilling, IMHO, to focus on the wonderful time that was shared with those loved ones. And if you only focus on the day they died.....you erase or minimize all the wonderful days that you shared with them.

Now, Gommy knows it isn't as easy as making up your mind to BE better and it will just happen. It is a process. No one is expected to be happy about what happened....but it did happen and there is no changing the facts. There is definitely a grieving process that one must go through. But the operative words here are 'go through'. It doesn't do any good to stay stuck in the grief. Your loved ones would not want you to be sad for the rest of your life. Just as you wouldn't want your loved ones to be sad forever after you die. Gommy hopes that after I am gone....that when my daughter Tracey or my husband or my Grands think of me....they will smile and have warm and fuzzy memories of me.

Bitterness is a toxic emotion. It skews your outlook on everything in life. Bitterness can eat away at you until there is nothing left but the dried up remains of the person you used to be before your loss. There is a story that explains bitterness pretty well. It goes like this:

'Once upon a time there were two brothers. The younger brother hated the older brother. He became the Bitter Brother. What did the older brother do to make the younger brother bitter? Who knows? I'll tell you who knows....the Bitter Brother knows. He knows and remembers with a vengeance and he wants revenge.

Bitter Brother just can't let it go. So he sets out to settle the score....His revenge gives him no rest and his resentment grows and grows. His pain creates more poison to feed the bitterness. He feels there is no solution for his resentment.

But the Lord had mercy for the Bitter Brother and He sent an angel to the Bitter Brother. He said, "The Lord has chosen you to receive a great gift. You may ask for riches, a long healthy life, successful children.....anything you wish. But there is one stipulation, because God wants to teach you a lesson. Whatever you get, your brother will get twice as much. If you receive one million dollars, your brother will receive two million dollars. If you ask to be famous, your brother will be twice as famous " The Bitter Brother thought for a moment, "You will give me anything I ask?" The angel said yes and the Bitter Brother said, "Then make me blind in one eye."

Now that is pretty bitter. And the reality of revenge is that no matter what the outcome is....whatever made the Bitter Brother so vengeful.....hasn't gone away. Bitterness is a destructive emotion and hurts everyone. It is like the old adage that says that anger and resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

So, Gommys advice would be to listen to your heart. If you feel mad and consumed with anger over something that has happened in your life....you can know that that isn't how you are supposed to be feeling. On the flip side of those emotions, if you feel you are remembering your loved ones and cherishing the times you shared...you will feel your heart swell with love. And THAT my peeps is why we are here on Earth. It's all about love. Love does heal all. And the 'heart' never lies. So try to relive the happy times you shared with your loved ones. You can do it. Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush-Gommy

Happy Mother's Day

Today is the day that little people all over scamper around, trying to 'surprise' Mom with breakfast in bed....or bring her the gift they made for her at school....and bring the cards, presents and love to her to show her that she is loved 'this big'.

Those memories are so precious to this Mom and I will always treasure those times that I was the recepient of those wonderful warm and fuzzy memories. But it can be bittersweet when I think of my two children who will not have those precious moments in their lives. But that thought is quickly replaced by picturing my little grands and my big grands who will tell their Moms how much they love her today. And this is part of passing the baton.

It also reminds me of the times that I did the same for my Mother. I can still feel the excitement of 'knowing' that I knew something my Mom didn't know. That I had made her this 'priceless' modeling clay ashtray or jewelry dish that I knew would take her breath away when she opened it and read the handmade card I had colored for her.

There are other things that one learns as they are passing that baton. Like the memory of rolling my eyes (albeit behind my Mothers back)...when I disagreed with something that she said or a belief that she held. Then remembering back to when my own children rolled their eyes at me at something I said or believed. Yes.....the beat goes on. And there will come a time when each parent is the one that receives that 'rolling eye' from the very child they gave birth to. That child who once thought you were all knowing and the most revered person in the world. But rest assured parents out there.....your time will come as well. It is generational....it is hereditary....and it is the circle of life!

So........all you Mommies out there enjoying your Mother's Day....relish every sweet moment! They go by so fast and if you don't concentrate on each millisecond...you will miss them. And you will miss them more than this Gommy can ever tell you in words. Enjoy Mommy.....you can do it! Gommy is pulling for ya' - Hugs & Mush, Gommy

The Stone, the Pebble or the Rock

Hello my Peeps! For today, let’s say you are a stone a rock or a pebble. Don’t try to figure it out… let’s just say you are. Kinda like the analogy in the Simon & Garfunkel song, “I am a Rock”. Now, there are many things that may happen to you during your time on Earth. A rock is just a big stone and a pebble is just a smaller stone. Some of you may be big rocks or small stones or smaller pebbles. There are all shapes and sizes of these pieces of formed mineral matter….but just like people, they come in all sizes, statures and positions in life. There are big shot people (Rocks), and there are middle class people (Stones) and there are many who are barely holding on to get by (Pebbles). But the core of each is still the same, no matter what the shape, size or social status that separates them all. The rock, stone or pebble is still a relatively hard, naturally formed mineral or petrified matter of mass. That is its’ essence….the real, ultimate, individual nature of a thing….as opposed to its existence.

Now, as you are imagining yourself as this mineral deposit…..think of how you may be a big rock that is used to adorn a driveway at someone’s home or as help for a climber to scale a mountain. Or you may be a stone that is used to pave a pathway or even be used for a horrific crime such as ‘killing by stoning’. If you are a pebble, you may end up in an aquarium with brightly colored fishes or on the shore of some exotic destination. As time passes, you may have been ground into the Earth for so long, and you are so covered up with the dirt of life, that you aren’t even visible any longer. Or you may have been polished into a thing of beauty and worn as a piece of priceless jewelry. It matters not how you are being utilized, or in what fashion your time here is being used. Whether it is for adornment or malice or being trampled, or simply enjoying your station in life. Because it turns out that any of the ways you may have been transformed or used, does not change the core of what you are and always were. That is your essence. Your true Spirit will flow through you if you just let it. I have always loved the piece that says, “I am but a hole in the flute that God's breath moves through. Listen to the music.”

When we get too far from our authentic self, we can feel uncomfortable. When we are trying to be something that we are not….we end up struggling and making ourselves miserable. It is far better to realize that we are what we are….and accept that fact, so we can live a satisfied and peaceful life. Just as Popeye says, “I am what I am….and that’s all that I am.”.

Believe me when I say that no one is really paying all that much attention to you anyway! They are so wrapped up in their own little world…that you really don’t make a whit of difference in their life. And while you are trying to be all that and a bag of chips for others….you are just taking away from a peaceful life and mind that you could be enjoying. Pray for the guidance to ‘go with the flow’ of life and to accept what is and who you are, with love and gratefulness. I keep a saying taped at the top of my computer monitor at work. It says, “I am whole and perfect as I was created!” And, by Golly….I am.

We should all try to be kind to ourselves and to others in our perceptions. ‘Judge not lest ye be judged’. Remember that one? And if we must judge….judge as the quote from Saint Vincent de Paul offers us to remember and say often to ourselves; “Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times….and in all circumstances.”

The older you get, the more you realize that it just doesn’t matter what other people think of you. Be yourself and you will find that you are much more ‘attractive’ AND ‘attract-ING’ to other people. And that’s not to mean physical attractiveness…because beauty is only skin deep and real beauty comes from within. Phonies can be spotted a mile away, so be who you are and CHILL OUT. And ‘I hate to be ugly’…..but get over yourself. The term, ‘I hate to be ugly’ is one that I learned while we lived in the Memphis, TN. The people in the Deep South are genteel and do not wish to appear coarse by saying anything unpleasant, so they preempt the nasty comment with a nicety. I always found it funny because with my sarcastic personality….I was often tempted to say “Then don’t be ugly!” But I never did….While in Rome. ((*-^))

So my Peeps, be who you are, say what you mean, don't be a fake or a phony and live and let live. It is really a much easier way to co-exist on this wonderful planet....for as long a time as we are so graciously given to do so. You can do it! Gommy is pulling for ya' Hugs & Mush - Gommy

Once Upon a Time....

Happy Sunday boys and girls. Spring is getting ready to spring in many places and it is surely going to be welcomed. We have had a marvelous year so far in my neck of the woods....but Winter has been pretty brutal to many of my favorite peeps. Sorry Peeps. But it won't be long now! That's what my Grandma Maudie used to say, and she would always follow it with...'That's what the monkey said when the rocker cut off his tail.' That Grandma Maudie sure had a wit about her!

Today, I would like to talk about how we all write our own saga, drama, comedy, or whatever it is we are writing our own lives to be. Gommy hears many people telling their same, sad story over and over and wonders if the person is so invested in that story and identifies with it.....that they just keep telling it. Sad stories may be good to watch at the movies....because they make you cry....that good kind of crying that is cleansing and releases stuff in us that we didn't know needed to come out. But, to have the sad story BE about us....not so much. So, the only thing Goms can come up with is that the sad story person (SSP) just identifies very strongly with the star of their story....THEM. They must be getting something out of it....or why would they continue to keep retelling it?

Then you have the sick person (SP). We're not talking about the cancer patient, or the child who is always in and out of the hospital with a serious disease, or the other terrible diseases that surely do keep a person feeling sick. We're talking about the person who has to tell you their every ailment. Whether it is their arthritis, their colon problems, every ache and pain they have.....or heaven forbid, even when they did or didn't have their last bowel movement. That last group really needs to get moving (no pun intended...or was it?). There are more things in the world to focus on people than when you last went to the bathroom. You may think we are wanting to know....but here's a flash bulletin for you....we don't want to share that info with you. It really is TMI. Try to get another topic to identify with....pleeeeease! You'll find that people will stop making skid marks (uhhh, still no pun intended ?) when they see you coming.

And we all know the 'poor me' folks (PMF). They are the ones who are always jealous of everyone else who couldn't possibly deserve what they have made of their lives. The 'poor me' folks are always blaming everyone else for their difficulties and lot in life. But you know what PMF (poor me folks)? The only constant in your story you are telling all the time... is YOU. Don't you see? There is an expiration date on blaming everyone....or anyone for that matter....for what you have or do not have. Take a minute to go look in the mirror and you will see that you and only you have the ability to change your life. If you don't like how things are going for you....maybe you need to change YOU and stop blaming others for your life. Sorry to be so Mrs. Obvious here....but 'them' are the facts my peeps.

Just the other day, a Facebook friend and I were 'talking' about some of Gommy's own life experiences. I don't know if everyone knows it or not, but Gommys' first husband was killed in a car accident when he was only 34. We had three children who were 8, 10 and 11 at the time. Gommy has to admit that there were times that the PMF thought came up. But, as time went on....the realization came to me that I was being pretty selfish in feeling that way. After all, I was still alive and would be able to see my children every day and watch them grow. So, it wasn't me who was the poor one...it was my husband, who was taken too early and wouldn't have the joyful experience of sharing our children as they grew up. Then 9 years later....two of my three children were also killed in another car accident. Again, it would be easy to become a PMF person and I would probably be given a pass if I stayed feeling sorry for myself. But, I thought that even though I would miss them terribly and achingly every day of the rest of my life, I had to realize that THEY were the ones who would be missing so many wonderful experiences. So, after much soul searching ( and might I add that it was MUCH, MUCH soul searching), Gommy has come to realize that I can 'cry because they died....or smile because they were in my life for a wonderful 17 and 22 years.' Gommy picked the latter thought. The reason I am sharing this with you, is to show that we do have choices in how we react to our life circumstances. Of course I would rather no one that I loved had to die. But can I do anything about that? No I can't. The only thing I CAN do is reframe how I react when I think of them. I choose to remember the wonderful times we shared and be grateful for those times. I can relive them any time I want....and I do....I do very often.
* Insert SMILE here*.

Then there are the saps of the world. These people just can't seem to say no (CSN). We have all probably been there a time or two ourselves. We are saps when we get hoodwinked by the people who would even take advantage of their own mothers....and probably have on occasion. Saps are always helping, always giving in, always making other people more important than themselves. And they never look up to realize they are on a one-way street. They don't see that the favors aren't being returned. They are just being used. So, wake up saps. Life is a two-way street. It is fine to do things for people and to give in sometimes to an argument and to be taken advantage of occasionally (because sometimes you just want to do it because you want to do it)....but if you don't like being a sap.....'NO' is a word you should try using once in a while. Go to a mirror right now...and ask the PMF to move over a second.....and practice saying 'NO'. At first it will seem foreign...but once you get the hang of it....you will be able to use the word 'NO' with ease. But don't go overboard. Sometimes you may actually want to help someone....and you've gotten into the habit of saying no so much that you forget to say yes when that is what you really meant. LOL!

And of course, we all know the 'Know It Alls' (KIA). They think they have the market on knowing what is best for everyone else in the world. They push their politics, religion, career choices, child rearing skills, and any other subject you can think of on you....presumably for your own good because you can't possibly know as much as they do. These people have gotten the wrong impression that they are the 'Gurus Of All Things Possible'. You can't tell them anything, because they already know it. Gommy's advice in dealing with these peeps is to just nod occasionally when their lips are moving.....but be thinking of something pleasant while you are enduring their presence....and you can excuse yourself from their space when you notice their lips stop moving. And sometimes....they are Sooooo self absorbed.....that they may not even notice you have left...even when their lips are still moving...because they just like to hear themselves talk anyway. You can tell if you can make your get-away if you notice that glazing over of their eyes...that is the hint they they are so into their own rhetoric that you will be long gone before they even notice. LOL.

Sometimes you have a cross-breeding (or pollination) of the KIA's and the EP people of the world. They are known as the KIA-EP's. These types are the Entitled People who KIA. You will find that they are really PIA's (YUP...your are way ahead of Gommy here... they are real pain in the asses). They think the world owes them a living and they 'know it all'...so they must be right about their assumptions. Steer clear of these peeps. Gommy is doing you a real favor by letting you in on this little hint. LOL! And ummmmm, you're welcome.

I'm sure we have all come across the 'my religion is better than your religion people' (MRIBTYR). Boy, that's a mouthful. And believe Gommy when I tell you that these peeps are rabid and dangerous, I mean it. So...fair warning here. Don't get tangled up with them when they are just coming out of church either....after they have been listening to the preacher tell them that their brand of God is the only one there is. They believe so strongly that their religion is the ONLY religion in the world, that you, if you don't belong to their club....are going straight to Hell! And the reason they know this is that their God....said you are. You know, their...'all loving, all forgiving, all knowing God'. Yeah, that one. The one who apparently told them that even though God is forgiving...He has a few exceptions to His rules (even though He doesn't make mistakes so there would be no reason for any exceptions to His rules.....DUH). Like, you must believe and accept His one and ONLY son to have life ever lasting. Hey, I resent that.....I thought we were all His children. Oh well, maybe I missed that part of His memo. But, I'm personally going to live on the assumption that God/Universe/The One/Being is the Omnipotent, Omniscient, really and truly loving and forgiving God/Universe/The One/Being, that would love me no matter what.... and that He doesn't have an ego so anything I could possibly say or do will not offend Him. Annnnnnd that He loves all of us (and I am pretty sure of this one). It's just a feeling I have in my heart and my gut. Kinda like we love our own children....no matter what. Yeah..like that. And for those good religious peeps who want to get mad at Gommy for my own opinions and observations....GOTCHA'..... you forgot what the Bible says about judging me! You can't go there.

Then.....finally....there are the peeps who just mind their own business, live and let live, enjoy life, appreciate what they have, savor the special people and times in their life.........NO REALLY.... those types of peeps really do exist. You just don't meet up with them often enough. They are the HP (Happy People).....and they are unfortunately, few and far between. When you do meet up with them....you will notice that they aren't talking about anyone else in a mean manner, they have a peaceful aura around them, other people enjoy being around them and they don't complain or gripe about everything and they don't try to run anyone else's business. That is why you hardly run across them....the other type of peeps take up so much room....that the pleasant peeps just go about their happy life unnoticed. And that is quite alright with the HP...and probably the way they prefer it.

So now that Goms has told you about a few personality types, try to see which group you may fall into. Gommy hopes it is the HP group. If it isn't....go back to that mirror and be brutally honest with yourself and ask what you are REALLY getting out of being a SP/SSP/PMF/CSN/KIA or the MRIBTYR personality types. If you are happy with your personality type....blow yourself a kiss in your reflection and get back to whatever you were doing. But if you would rather be a Happy Person....you'll have to unpack that old baggage you have been carrying around for ages and put a smile on your face....look around at the things you have to be grateful for...stop looking for other people to blame for your life...enjoy the simple things in life and quit butting your nose into everyone elses business. You can do it peeps...Gommy is pulling for ya'! Hugs & Mush, Gommy

How's that Working Out For Ya'

Gommy is finding out the longer I live.....the more I really don't know about this thing called 'Life'. And the more I realize that I don't know about it....the more I realize that no one else knows about it either. But it does become much more fun to be in on the secret and to observe everyone trying to make everyone else think that they do know everything!

Noticing how people react to different situations, difficulties or even happy times is much more interesting once you learn to look for the reasons for their reactions. Take politics. Please.....Just kidding. But every four or eight years, a new party comes into power and they strut their stuff and make a bunch of noise about how they are going to fix everything that needs fixin'. And the next time there is a voting year.....the other party usually gets voted back in. Sooooo, how's that working out for ya'?

Or how about when you are young and full of yourself....you observe people raising their kids and you make statements that when you have kids, they will never.....(fill in the blank here). Then.....you get married, or not, and have your own little tots and guess what? They DO absolutely whatever it was, much worse than the kids you ever complained about. Soooooo.....how's that working out for ya'?

Then there's the person who says they would never stay with a husband or significant other if they ever cheated on them. Or it would be beneath them to ever stay in a relationship that wasn't fulfilling. Then one day.....you meet the person of your dreams, you fall in love and everything is hunky-dory. As time goes by, you drift apart, or you have money issues, or agreeing on how to raise those perfect kids becomes a battlefield and one day...........you don't feel very lovey-dovey anymore and you find that your honey wants out of the relationship or worse, has had an affair. You find that you would rather stay in the relationship than to start all over....or you realize you can't make it on your own or you just feel you should try to work on it afterall. So, all that expounding about how you are going to have it all and do it better than anyone else? How's that working out for ya'?

There comes a time when we must face the fact that if there was an easier way to be happy, or to be the best parent or live happily ever after....everyone would be doing it. But it turns out, that it's not so easy because we are missing the forest for the trees. We try to change Mr. or Miss Perfect into something we thought they were and now find out maybe they weren't all that and the bag of chips we thought they were (and for the record, either are we). Or we try a new and improved way to raise our children, because we think our parents had it all wrong. Or we just know that there must be an easier way to have all our dreams realized.

The reality is that it takes very little to be happy. We just have to stop wanting something or someone that we don't have and we must stop wanting to be or look differently than we do . That's it peeps. That is how you can live happily ever after. Just be satisfied with 'WHAT IS'. Suffering always comes from wanting to change something that we just can't change. The only person we CAN change is......you know what Goms is going to say.....YUP, our self.

So, stop trying to make your kids behave so that the neighbors or your friends will admire your parenting. And stop trying to act as if you are so rich that everyone should be envious of you. Because truth be known....many times they are struggling too... trying to impress others. If we just live within our means....the stress of every day life is decreased and the joy is increased and multiplied by leaps and bounds. And about changing your honey-bug. Give it up. No one changes FOR anyone else. We can only change when there is something about our self that we actually WANT to change. That is just the plain facts peeps. The biggest mistake couples make is that the woman thinks she can change her man and the man thinks his lady is never going to change. And guess what? Men rarely change and women change almost momentarily. So, how's that working out for ya'?

Well, those are Gommy's thought for today. Hope all my boys and girls and Moms and Dads and bosses and employees and friends and lovers can just chill. Enjoy your life. There is soooo much to enjoy in this world. And the simple things are usually the most enjoyable.... and they are mostly free too. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'. Talk to you soon. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

I'm Not Listening!

Hello Boys and Girls. It's been a while since we've talked....lol. Gommy was thinking of how people don't like to be told or shown a different path than the one they are on at any given time. Oh....they may complain about the path they are on....but the first time you think you are helping and you try to show them a different path......NO WAY JOSE'!!

The reason we are so resistant to change is that even the most uncomfortable situation is one that we have become 'familiar' with and so we know what to expect. Weird eh? I suppose it would have to be as painful as burning your hand on a hot stove to make you want to abruptly stop doing something differently than what you have been doing. It's the old fear of the unknown that kicks in.

We continue to stay at a job we dislike....to stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling....stay friends with people who aren't really 'friends' or even friendly. YIKES. What can we do to release the yuck and try for something better?

The first thing we have to do is to realize that we are bringing this all to ourselves. I know you are thinking...No way Gommy. I wouldn't be bringing this yuck to myself if I had a choice. But, we are bringing it to us. If for no other reason than the realization that we aren't doing anything to change it or anyone or any situation in which we find our self. And to change anything or anyone....we first must change our self. And that is the kicker....the really hard part.

And another thing to remember about giving unsolicited advice (even if you have been asked, they really don't want the truth...lol) is that the moment you come up with a solution....the person will begin to resent you. Why? Because you are giving them a reason to change something that they really don't feel comfortable about changing. You'll probably hear, "Oh, that's easy for you to say!" or "It's not as easy as you say it is."

We all have our own comfort zone and until someone or something forces us out of it, usually while kicking and digging our heels in.....we will just stay in our own little, 'comfortable' at least.... and familiar at best....comfort zone of existence. It takes a whole bunch of faith in our self or a whole bunch of 'I've had enough', to finally move away or out of our comfort zones.

So, remember that it is always easier to see how to 'fix' someone else than to see what needs to be 'fixed' in ourselves. Remember that Scripture in the Bible about discernment....-Mat 7:3-5 "Why do you observe the splinter in you brother's eye and never notice the plank in your own? How dare you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye."

So, get off that Hamster Wheel if you want things to be different in your life. Otherwise....just keep on twirling in the cage of existence and 'Zip it". And don't take it personally when the other person doesn't take the advice they asked for. It's really, really hard work and many of us just don't like to walk the walk. Maybe you can just sing a little song while you are twirling the cage. Just a thought. OOPS...you didn't ask me for that advice, did you? Have a nice day anyway. I know, I know.....quit giving you advice. Anyway, Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs & Mush - Gommy((*-^))

Stationary or Stationery?

It has become apparent to Gommy in the last while, that manners, respect and just plain knowing how to act, have suspiciously disappeared from some parts of our culture. When did teaching our kids how to keep their elbows off the table when they eat, to not throw their food or sippy-cup on the floor when they are finished eating, to not scream when they are eating out at a restaurant or in church, to not interrupt when others are speaking, to say please and thank you and to actually write a REAL thank you for something received on REAL paper and then to mail it……through old-timey Snail Mail become obsolete?

Now, Gommy did teach my own little ones how to act, and to say thank you and be respectful of others. But, except for a few exceptions, it seems that this generation of parents hasn’t gotten the memo that it is not only pleasant to act respectful…..it is a necessity in these times of so many cultures co-existing in the same society. Now don't get all prissy out there mom and dads. You do want your children to be able to function as polite adults some day don't you? It will be much easier on them to be able to work together with others in their chosen careers or to be a good neighbor or in almost any social interaction you can think of, that they will be facing some day. You know.....'play nice with others' ????

Manners are fundamental skills that need to be taught, just as learning to write and spell or add and subtract. It starts in the home and taught by the parents. If a child isn’t taught or expected to be polite and to say please and thank you or to send a note of gratitude for a gift received or be respectful of others and their space…..where will they ever learn it? And don't worry.....you aren't hurting their self-esteem by showing them they must take turns, be courteous and to show respect. You are actually helping them by teaching them HOW to navigate in social settings.

In today’s fast paced life….the old written note is barely ever heard of any longer. Gommy wonders how many children of today even know the difference in ‘being’ stationary and ‘using’ stationery? Or for that matter, how many young adults know the difference. FYI….Stationary means to 'not move' or to 'stay fixed'. Stationery is writing paper, envelopes, pens, pencils or anything needed to converse on paper. Emails and texts have now taken over for the written word. But, for anyone who has received an actual card, or hand written note…..it sure is nice isn’t it? ((*-*))

Manners have changed over the centuries as the times and customs have changed. Like, does anyone even know why the handshake came into being? It was because at one time, people used to carry swords or daggers and if one extended their hand in the friendly gesture of a handshake….the other person could see there were no hidden weapons. Or, how about in the 1500’s….when the term ‘setting the table’ was used because there were no ‘regular’ dining tables and when mealtime came, boards were laid across trestles and covered with a cloth. I guess we have come pretty far from the Crusades when knights had to learn manners by sharing food on plates and drinking from shared glasses. The men were paired with a lady at dinner and learned not to lick their fingers or pick their teeth with their knives. They used to wipe their hands on the tablecloth! Then napkins were invented…thank goodness!


But Gommy just doesn’t want us to slip back to those horrid days of such bad manners. And if parents just teach their children the basic rules of politeness, and how to be a good sport, to respect themselves and those around them…. the world would be a much nicer place in which to live together. So….Moms and Dads….think back to what your own moms and dads taught you when you were little….and give your own children some lessons on how to be polite. They will thank you even if they don't realize it....by getting along more easily, in this thingy called a 'CIVIL-ization in which we are trying to coexist. You can do it….Gommy is pulling for ya’…..Hugs & Mush, Gommy