"Be the change you want to see in the world"

Gommy was reading up on what some of the smart people of history had to say and came across a quote from Gandhi. He said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. What that means is that when people are rude, grumpy, disagreeable or just downright mean....you must resist the urge to mirror that unpleasant behavior. It is hard to do.......because the human impulse is to react. We don't have the ability to change how someone behaves....but we do have the ability to modify how we react to them. But remember also that no one can hurt your feelings without your permission. Another very potent quote that the author and poet Maya Angelou said and that everyone should remember is: "People will forget what you have said and they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

There are people who come across our path in life that leave a mark forever on our hearts. Do you ever wonder why that is? Gommy thinks they are put in our path to teach us lessons. If we learn from them......we have done what we were meant to do. If we ignore that tug at our heart or conscience.....we will have to keep having the lessons over and over. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome....If the person makes you feel something very strongly and you wish you could be more like them because they are kind or compassionate.....try to take from them that element and try it on for yourself. You can build yourself some mighty good character that way.

Then there is a quote that Gommy doesn't know who to give credit for but really touches home and heart, for me anyway. It is: "Don't cry because it ended. Smile because it happened." That one makes Gommy think of my two children who died. Terry and Tiffany were a magical gift to Gommy and even though the pain of losing them is almost unbearable.....the pain was worth the pleasure and happiness they gave Gommy for the 17 and 22 years they were here with Gommy. You cannot have the extreme happiness someone or something gives you without the opposite pain. It is law. The law of opposites......The yin and yang of life. Yin and Yang is depicted by that circle which has white and black with a white spot in the black swirl and a black spot in the white swirl. The symbol shows the circle as the whole and the black and white as the opposites of how things work. The spots of the opposing colors in the solid colors show that nothing is all black or white. Life is all about opposites....winter to summer....man to woman....happiness to sadness, honor to dishonor, wealth to poverty..... and on and on. But life is not all one or the other or we would no longer exist. If there were only women in the world the species would eventually end. If there were only winter.....we would die off because our food source could not grow any longer....or someone who is honest may at one time in their life have been dishonest i.e. even a little white lie? You see the reasoning in Yin and Yang now?

And believe it or not....Dr. Seuss (yes the author of childrens' books) was pretty deep himself. One of his quotes is: "Be who you are and say what you feel because people that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." That is pretty thought provoking. If we have to change the way we are to make other people feel comfortable, then we don't have a real relationship with that person to begin with. Being who you are is important as long as you are comfortable with being who you are....Is that too convoluted??? What Gommy means is you should be the best you can be and as long as you are comfortable with that.... you don't have to concern yourself with how other people see you. Living up to anothers values is too tiresome and can get you into all sorts of problems i.e. living above your means because someone may think you aren't 'all that' if you can't buy this doo-dad or that doo-dad. Then you find yourself worrying about how to pay for the 'doo-dad' that you didn't really want or need in the first place....get it? Just be you and be happy being you and you will be a happier you.....Toodle oooooo ((*.*)) Gommy

Blessings

It is Sunday again and the day itself usually makes one think of spiritual musings and it started Gommy to thinking about spiritual things herself. We often hear the word 'Blessings' when we are in church and I wonder how many of us really think of the word and how powerful it is. Blessings are a gift from our maker. It is 'divine grace' that we are given our Blessings and it is something that we didn't earn (or couldn't earn because it doesn't 'work' that way!).

Gommy and Grandpa Mike spent time with part of our families yesterday. My daughter and her children and Grandpas' son and family. Gommys' grandchildren from my son, live on the West Coast of Florida, and we didn't get to see them this time, but we are Blessed to see them more often now that we are back in South Florida. And thanks to the Internet, emails and now Facebook, we are in touch much more and that is a real Blessing as well.

Gommy thinks that when we are Blessed with something.....it usually started with merely 'wanting' something and it was 'given'....you know as in 'ask and you shall receive'...Gommy is pretty sure that is all you have to do to receive what you ask for.....Now, people may say that they want stuff all the time and they don't get it....But there is a catch.....Now don't go saying, "Ah-Ha...I knew it!" It is really quite simple. Most of us think of something we want and immediately cancel it out....Don't believe me???? How about the people you hear saying, "I wish I could win the lottery............but I'm not lucky." BAM.......canceled.....or "I hope 'Bob" calls me....but I know he won't." BAM...canceled. Or, "I hope I get the job........but the girl who came in for the job just before me will probably get it." BAM...canceled. Or "I wish I could feel better but I am always sick." BAM...canceled. You get the picture here? The most important word in our vocabulary when we are wishing, asking or hoping for something is the word 'BUT". All the word 'but' does is cancel out the previous thought. Sooooooo, quit using it.....Just state what you want, wish or hope for and focus on that and don't let any booga-boos creep into your thought processes and you will be on the right track to getting (receiving) what you 'ask' for.

The most important thing to do when you do receive something you asked for is to be grateful for it and say you are grateful for it and for all of your Blessings. Too many times you see people who have 'fallen from Grace' and you wonder what happened to them. Movie stars come to mind right now for Gommy. Gommy thinks they forgot that they were 'given' whatever wonderful thing was happening in their life and what ever talent they possess and they took it for granted and it was snatched away from them....Lesson.....Don't take anyone or anything for granted because you may find that one day they or it are no longer in your life.

But (there's that word again) back to happier thoughts...just take today or any Sunday or any day to realize all of your Blessings and to give thanks. It's really just that easy. Have a splendiferous week.....Hugs, Gommy ((*.*))

Family

Gommy remembers loving to be around cousins while growing up. As an only child, it was always a treat to be able to be around other kids. Today, three of Gommys' five grands (cousins to each other) got to meet each other for the first time.....It is so special to watch your childrens' children interact. It is more than heart-warming. It is bliss..... They looked each other over and being children who are not yet tarnished by years of labeling.... they accepted each other with open arms (AS THEY SHOULD). It is amazing how little children are so trusting and pure of heart. If the whole world could feel that way, we would all be enjoying a much nicer planet...

'Family' seems to have mutated (an ugly word for an ugly development) into people who live in different parts of the country or who we just lose track of for reasons of time, locale and/or rifts. It is a shame that families can't be pure of heart like our children. There is nothing like family. When a rift happens to tear a family apart, it is often over money. Either someone borrowed some and didn't repay it back, or one of the members of the family has a bunch of money and the other member has too little and that is when jealousies can fester. Sometimes it is money that parents left after they have passed. You get the drift here, don't you? Maybe that is where the proverb that "Money is the root of all evil." came from. The real proverb is; "The love of money is the root of all evil." What Gommy thinks that may mean is that if you love money more than a person....that is evil. Not evil in the moral or beastly sense of the word but evil in the definition; "As it brings unhappiness of a being or deprives a being of any good." Money can come and go but you cannot buy family or happiness.

Family should stick together and help each other out when possible. We should always help anyone that is in need but there is an extra element when it comes to your family. Sometimes a particular person in the family makes it very difficult to help them.....but that is usually exactly the person that needs the help the most. If we just turn our backs on them....they are really lost to us and to themselves.

So Gommy wants to say how grateful I am for my family. None of us are perfect....but it sure brings some warmth to the cockles of your heart to know you have and are part of a family. Forgiveness is the first step in giving yourself a very nice gift....maybe a member of the family that needs you just as much as you need them is waiting for a hug.......Let's all have a group hug now....let's sing "Kumbaya....Kumbaya"....there isn't that nice now???

Enough is Enough!

Gommy wants to talk about excesses today......excess of things mostly. Since Gommy and Grandpa Mike have fallen into found themselves in the 'have-not' column of life instead of the 'haves' (monetarily speaking only)....it has become abundantly (pun intended) clear that it is quite possible to live without all the trappings of what society thinks is needed to survive.

Just the other day, Gommy was in the grocery store and every time an impulse (that is also a ploy that is cleverly used by companies to make you 'impulsively' buy their product) to buy something arose, Gommy asked herself the question..."Do you need that or just want it?" It turned out that most times it was a 'want' and not a 'need' item. When you don't have a credit card to fall back on to purchase something, you choose more wisely. We definitely live in an 'instant gratification' culture today. You see children have absolute meltdowns when they are told 'no'......and it is scary to say, but adults have the same meltdowns, they just hide them with the ability to have a little or a lot of 'retail therapy' that is unnecessary.

After moving for the second time in a year....(yeah I know!) it became obvious that Gommy could possibly be considered an impulse buyer AND a hoarder.....whew....there I said it! Grandpa was very gentle at first as the boxes were mounting up and it was becoming evident that the new place only had a certain number of square feet to put the 'stuff' in....then Grandpa became a little grumpy and asked, in no uncertain terms...."Where in the heck are you going to put all this stuff that you haven't used in the last year since we moved it before?" That was a wake-up call for Gommy. At first, in a state of panic, Gommy tried to think of how to keep all the 'stuff'. Another storage unit? No, we did that already and after nine months of paying storage, put all the boxes of 'stuff' in our apartment. So many boxes that it looked like we WERE the storage unit now...... Soooooooooo, Gommy just gave the extra 'stuff' away. Some of it went to a woman who was getting a different kind of job and needed dress clothes and dress shoes .....Hey, Gommy had plenty of dress clothes and dress shoes that she doesn't use anymore....poof....gone....Then there were boxes and boxes of very good kitchen pots, pans, dishes, gadgets.....(yes boxes...I know!) that Grandpa gave to a man at his work....poof...gone...The man later told us that he shared all the 'stuff' with several families and they were very grateful to get it.....The moral here is that you can only use so much 'stuff' wear so much 'stuff' and eat so much 'stuff'....after that you are officially a 'hoarder'....admit it.....you hoard. Many of us hoard...Get over it...it is really cathartic after you FORCE yourself purge all the 'stuff' you don't REALLY need. And you get a bonus...you feel really good about yourself for helping people out. I know! Amazing.....

As for doing things that don't cost anything....Gommy and Grandpa have become the 'Grand-Poo-Pa's' of doing things on the cheap frugally. Did you know that you can go to the beach and bring a cooler of drinks and a few snacks for close to no money at all??? I know...amazing! Did you know that you can watch regular cable and not get all the extra packages and still be entertained??? Did you know that you can plan your day or your week so that you do your errands in an order or in group locations that don't waste gas? I know...amazing!....Did you know that you can make wonderful memories with your grandkids by just reading them a story or making one up??? I know! Amazing.....

Gommy thinks the best thing that ever happened to her and Grandpa was to become the 'have-nots' because it brought a whole new dimension to 'living happily ever after'.....Realizing that talking to each other instead of trying to go somewhere or do something to be enterained is really more rewarding.... That cooking a meal at home that costs pennies a serving instead of gobs of dollars at a restaurant is smarter and tastes pretty good too....That making memories instead of making mounds of 'stuff' that you really don't need, will last much longer and be more gratifying in the scheme of things.... And that simplicity is more relaxing than having to keep an eye on your 'too much stuff'. Try it, it works. I know!!!!

Rest and Relaxation

Gommy and Grandpa Mike had a very nice time at a beautiful resort this weekend. It is Pelican Grand Hotel & Resort in Fort Lauderdale. If anyone is looking to have a 'stay-cation', this is the place.....It is like a 'mini-Grand' as in the Grand Hotel in Mackinac Island, Michigan. The staff is so gracious and friendly that you think you are back in the old days when it was mandatory to treat the customer as if they were actually welcomed.....What a concept!!!

With the economy being what it is, more people are opting for 'stay-cations' and Gommy and Grandpa Mike are sure glad they live in paradise already.... our 'stay-cation' is very easy to take....When the time came to check out of the resort, Gommy made a comment that it was time to get back to 'reality'....but after thinking about it for a minute.....Gommy realized that her and Grandpas' 'reality' is pretty nice too!!! It is not too hard to come back to our reality.....thank you God....

Everyone needs to take a break sometimes. It recharges the old batteries, so to speak! It also allows you to take a look at how much you have been keeping your nose to the grindstone lately and realize that you must take a breath and take time to smell the roses, coffee or whatever it is that you like to smell....ha,ha!

Our daughter and little grands came to visit for lunch and a swim in the lazy river and pool. Samantha shared a milkshake with Grandpa too. How special is that? Rest, relaxation and being with family while you are enjoying yourself......

So, Gommy sincerely hopes all you blog-friends out there get to recharge your batteries when you need to. It sure does make you feel refreshed and ready to go some more.....

Power?

Hello out there in blog-land. Today, Gommy wants to talk about what power means and what it means to different people. The definition of power has three ways to parse the etymology of the word. Power can be used as a noun i.e. the ability to produce an effect, or as a verb i.e. to supply with power as in 'to give impetus' to or as an adjective i.e. describing, as in a 'power lunch' or 'power locks' on a car.

Gommy thinks when most people think of the word 'power', they think of 'might' as in the 'power or ability and resources weilded by an individual or company', etc., to make something happen. That is definitely one way to think of the word 'power'. But along with that thinking often comes a false feeling that the person weilding the 'power' is also entitled (or that they don't have to earn what they are seeking) because they are the 'haves' and not the 'have-nots'. The only difference in the two circumstances is usually money and money can go as quickly as it came. Just ask all those zillion-aires who got scammed by the Ponzi Scheme recently.

Powerful people can be kind and generous or they can be very unkind and obnoxious and down-right miserly. You can tell the true mettle of a person, not by how much money they have, but by how they treat the other people who share time and space with them. It is easy to be cheerful and generous when things are going great guns.....but when things are falling down all around you and you are having a tough go at it......not so much. But if you can still be pleasant and respectful to others and not take out your ills on everyone else....then you have the 'power' to feel great about yourself. We all have the 'power' to control how we react to circumstances. There are such divergent disconnects in the world of the powerful and the powerless that it can be hard to navigate and 'not get any on you' if you aren't careful.

When you can realize that how much you have doesn't equate to how well you have it.....then by golly.....you do have it!!! Is this too obscure for Gommys' blog-friends? Well, what Gommy means is that what you do with your life and how you treat people is far more important than how many 'toys' you have. You will get a much better feeling about yourself when you do something nice for someone than if you buy yourself another doo-dad.

So, the thought for the day is: Be nice....do something nice.....act nicely.....and guess what? You will have a nice day!!! Toodle-ooooo - Gommy is just going to sit "on the dock of her home" and coast......((*.*))

Reflections

Hi there fellow bloggers.....Gommy has been doing quite a bit of reflecting lately. Gommy can see where moving can be a traumatic event in a persons' life. Just going through albums of pictures, gives you a chance to look back at where you have been, what you have done and just how much of your precious life you have used.....or in some instances 'used up'. But there are plenty of good memories in those albums as well. You have to focus on the happy times if you want those 'feel good-warm and fuzzy' feelings to envelope you.


There was a piece a friend sent Gommy in an email once that is so touching that Gommy goes back and listens and watches it often. It has so many things that ring true in my life and I bet would ring true in most peoples' lives. It says that when a door closes, a window opens but sadly, most people are so focused on the door closing that they don't recognize the wonderful things that await them if they just look out the opened window. Remember, that your future happiness sometimes depends on leaving your past behind.


That can be a hard thing to do sometimes if your past involves people you lost. You can miss them so much that it actually hurts your heart and soul. But remembering the wonderful times you had with them and celebrating the times you were fortunate enough to have had them in your life will ease the pain.


Life IS beautiful and we have to remember to encourage those who are feeling down or defeated or have just lost their way. We have all probably felt that way at least once or twice in our lives. If you can leave a mark on someones' life (in a good way) then you are on the right path of what we are expected to do in this lifetime. But you must also remember that we are all supposed to feel good. We came to this life experience to learn lessons and to FEEL GOOD. Just make sure you aren't hurting someone else while you are feeling good and things will be copacetic (okie-dokie).


Remember too, that the luckiest of people may not always have the 'best' of things.....they just appreciate and are happy for the things they do have. Don't worry if someone doesn't like what you do or have. If you try to make someone else happy instead of yourself....helloooooo....your are going down the wrong stream. You can actually make yourself sick trying to 'keep up with the Joneses'. Think about it....disease is when you are sick right? The word itself tells you volumes....DIS- ease. If you aren't feeling comfortable about something, you are not at ease......DIS-eased.....Get it????? So stop it! Gommy says.... ;)

For the special people in your lives, make sure you let them know, while they are still around, how much they mean to you. This past Christmas, Gommy got Grandpa a plaque that says it all for her...."You may be just one person to the world...but to me...you are the world." Appearances are often false, so don't assume someone or anyone has it better than you do. You don't know what is going on in their life that you may not want to trade your life experiences for.

That's it for today boys and girls.....just try to be happy and thankful for what you have and for the people in your lives and more happiness will come your way. No grump-buckets allowed!!! :( - ((*.*))