Stationary or Stationery?

It has become apparent to Gommy in the last while, that manners, respect and just plain knowing how to act, have suspiciously disappeared from some parts of our culture. When did teaching our kids how to keep their elbows off the table when they eat, to not throw their food or sippy-cup on the floor when they are finished eating, to not scream when they are eating out at a restaurant or in church, to not interrupt when others are speaking, to say please and thank you and to actually write a REAL thank you for something received on REAL paper and then to mail it……through old-timey Snail Mail become obsolete?

Now, Gommy did teach my own little ones how to act, and to say thank you and be respectful of others. But, except for a few exceptions, it seems that this generation of parents hasn’t gotten the memo that it is not only pleasant to act respectful…..it is a necessity in these times of so many cultures co-existing in the same society. Now don't get all prissy out there mom and dads. You do want your children to be able to function as polite adults some day don't you? It will be much easier on them to be able to work together with others in their chosen careers or to be a good neighbor or in almost any social interaction you can think of, that they will be facing some day. You know.....'play nice with others' ????

Manners are fundamental skills that need to be taught, just as learning to write and spell or add and subtract. It starts in the home and taught by the parents. If a child isn’t taught or expected to be polite and to say please and thank you or to send a note of gratitude for a gift received or be respectful of others and their space…..where will they ever learn it? And don't worry.....you aren't hurting their self-esteem by showing them they must take turns, be courteous and to show respect. You are actually helping them by teaching them HOW to navigate in social settings.

In today’s fast paced life….the old written note is barely ever heard of any longer. Gommy wonders how many children of today even know the difference in ‘being’ stationary and ‘using’ stationery? Or for that matter, how many young adults know the difference. FYI….Stationary means to 'not move' or to 'stay fixed'. Stationery is writing paper, envelopes, pens, pencils or anything needed to converse on paper. Emails and texts have now taken over for the written word. But, for anyone who has received an actual card, or hand written note…..it sure is nice isn’t it? ((*-*))

Manners have changed over the centuries as the times and customs have changed. Like, does anyone even know why the handshake came into being? It was because at one time, people used to carry swords or daggers and if one extended their hand in the friendly gesture of a handshake….the other person could see there were no hidden weapons. Or, how about in the 1500’s….when the term ‘setting the table’ was used because there were no ‘regular’ dining tables and when mealtime came, boards were laid across trestles and covered with a cloth. I guess we have come pretty far from the Crusades when knights had to learn manners by sharing food on plates and drinking from shared glasses. The men were paired with a lady at dinner and learned not to lick their fingers or pick their teeth with their knives. They used to wipe their hands on the tablecloth! Then napkins were invented…thank goodness!


But Gommy just doesn’t want us to slip back to those horrid days of such bad manners. And if parents just teach their children the basic rules of politeness, and how to be a good sport, to respect themselves and those around them…. the world would be a much nicer place in which to live together. So….Moms and Dads….think back to what your own moms and dads taught you when you were little….and give your own children some lessons on how to be polite. They will thank you even if they don't realize it....by getting along more easily, in this thingy called a 'CIVIL-ization in which we are trying to coexist. You can do it….Gommy is pulling for ya’…..Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Happy Birthday Sweet Tiffany

Happy Birthday, my sweet, dear Tiffany. You would have been 36 today! Yeah I know!!! Can you believe it? Me neither. It seems just like yesterday that you came into our lives and brought so much joy to everyone who ever met you. I often think of what you would be ‘into’ these days. I can imagine that you would be sooooo loving all the electronic gadgets that are available today. You practically slept with your ‘land-line’ Princess telephone….back in the day. You had so many friends to stay in touch with….that I remember I used to tell you that you would end up with cauliflower ear from being on the phone so much. But now….there are phones that fit right in your pocket and you can text and talk to your friends 24/7. You can even send pictures to people now through your phone! I know…incredible…right? And there are these things called Computers now. You would love all this new technology!

I often wonder when you would have married and what career path you would have taken and how many children you would have had. You always love, love, loved kids…..so you probably would have had at least a couple! You wouldn’t believe how big Biscuit is now. He turned 20 last month. Unreal, eh? He is back in school and in the process of getting credits from college that he needs to get in the Army….just like his Dad. You would recognize him anywhere Tiff, because he looks so much like your brother Terry. He is a real sweetie too.

You never had the chance to meet Megan…but she is 18 now and just got her new car and is on the road….much like you, Sweet Tiff. She is funny like her Dad and talks about as much as you did. We get to see Terry , Meggie and Deana sometimes…..but not nearly as much as we would like. But they have a lot going on in their lives. We keep in touch through this thingy called Facebook. It is a Social Network invented to keep in touch with friends and reconnect with old friends. You would probably have about a bazillion friends on here. No, really….I think you are just allowed to have 5000. But you would have that in no time. Gommy does all right herself on the friends lists. You’d be proud of your old Mom.

Oh, BTW..the Gommy thing? The Grands call me Gommy. And they call Mike, ‘Grandpa Mike’. Mike misses you too Tiff. You and he always had a special relationship and he loved you bunches. Tracey and John have the most adorable little ones. Samantha and Brandon. And Mikey (yes, little Mikey) has a little girl named Kyra. You would be in Heaven with these cutie patooties. Also, I have been keeping up with the new lingo…just like you used to keep me up with your ‘word of the week’ that you would leave for me on the dryer to help me ‘stay up to date’.

Tracey and I have the most wonderful relationship Tiff. How Blessed am I? We always spend your birthday day together. The only thing missing….is YOU. There is nothing as rewarding as to finally become friends with your children, once they are grown. I miss being with you and Terry very much….but I feel you with me whenever I need a Tiff and Ter moment. Thanks for that. Every time I see birds, I think of you. I can remember when you were little, you asking me what kind of bird this or that one was. And I think of Terry whenever I see a motorcycle or anything to do with the Army. I know you are in a much better place….but the selfish part of me wishes you were still around for us to all be a family again. It has never quite been the same at the Holidays without you guys. Oh pooh…your old Mom is tearing up now.

When Nana died in December, memories of how often she said how much she loved you came back to me. She used to tell me all the time, how you would just brighten up her day and how you always told her how pretty she looked….or that you would compliment her about her outfit or her hair or the pin she was wearing…or whatever. I have tried to make that a part of my life now too. You taught me that if there was ever a time that you could make a person feel better by telling them something nice about themselves….to tell them. Don’t keep it to yourself. That always made me so proud of you Tiff. But there were scads of things that made me proud of my three excellent, smart, beautiful, kind, brave and astonishing kids.

A dear friend sent me an email last week and in it…was this beautiful reminder of just how precious time is. For those who haven’t had to face losing a child or loved one (as I have with you and Terry) …..it may not resonate……right now. I say ‘right now’ because, sadly…. not very many of us escape the unexplainable sorrow of the death of a loved one. But this will eventually resonate with everyone….at some time in their life. As I read this piece….I think about each instance, because it has already touched someone in every one of these images:

To realize the value of a sister/brother…ask someone who doesn’t have one.
To realize the value of ten years; as a newly divorced couple.
To realize the value of four years; ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year; ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine months; ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize the value of one month; ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one minute; ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one-second; ask a person who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one. So, treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.
Remember….hold on tight to the ones you love!
I sure wish I could hold and hug you…at least one more moment.

So, I’ll be thinking of you a lot today….even more than usual. Wish we could go to the Mall and shop for something for your birthday together. Remember the store Wet Seal? Every time I go by one….I think of you and wonder if you would still love their clothes the way you used to. I just know you would still like to go shopping. I still wear some of your things. I know….they are out of style…but who cares? They were yours and you wore them…..so they are perfect…to me!

Mommy loves you Sweetie. I miss you more than I could ever put into these words. There are times that I feel like the beautiful words of the poet Pablo Neruda, “….my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping but I shall go on living.” I know I’ll see you again sometime….and whenever that is…we will REALLY catch up on EVERYTHING! But in the meantime….I know you are with me because I feel you there. As in the telling words of Carrie Latet – “Ever felt an angel's breath in the gentle breeze? A teardrop in the falling rain? Hear a whisper amongst the rustle of leaves? Or been kissed by a lone snowflake? Nature is an angel's favorite hiding place.” And I know that it's you. Give Terry a kiss for me too.
Hugs & Mush – Mommy (I know, I know…..I borrowed that Hugs & Mush line from you too…and I use it all the time ;-D)

Do You Want to Have a Hug O' War And Play Nice?

Being this is Sunday… Gommy is feeling kinda’ preachy….Just kidding! But as I was listening to a podcast of Jeff Fosters this morning , the urge to expound on his explanation of this thing called Oneness took over Goms. So, for those who may have wondered about or studied the ‘philosophy’ or meaning of Oneness….and have never read or listened to Jeff Foster explaining it….Goms will try to shed a little ‘light’ on my own interpretation of Jeff’s interpretation. Sort of in Gommy-istics. ;) Which is funny in a paradoxical sort of way, because Oneness IS just that…ONE-ness….so there is no Jeff or Gommy or you. Just like the word individual – the word itself (in- divide- dual). One of the two… or a distinct indivisible entity.

Jeff's explaining 'IT' in his latest podcast, made ‘Gommy’ want to try to 'splain it as Goms sees it. It may seem too airy-fairy for some of my peeps out there…but for those who have been on this certain path, as Goms has….maybe it will point even further to what is being unfolded and unfolding and unfolding.

To try to make it easier to ‘see’ the ‘THIS of us all’…. think of the analogy of waves in the vast Ocean . Try to think of it as…..The Ocean being aware that it is the Ocean. But the waves (US)….thinking that they are separate from the Ocean. This ‘thinking’ is the ego. The ego wave says, “I am a huge wave.” Or on another day it says, “I am tired, so I am resting and I look like a sheet of glass.”. On another day, it is irritable or mad and so it crashes onto the shore with thunderous fierceness. The waves think they are all separate from the Ocean. Now, the Ocean (God) knows that all the waves are just part of the Ocean….so the Ocean is not bothered by the ego-waves. Because the Ocean knows there is only one Ocean….with many waves within itself. It is like the different aspects of our personality. There are some things we may wish we could change about our self…but we can’t get away from who we are and we can’t reject our self…because we are parts of the whole. Just as the Ocean doesn’t reject all of the waves that think they are separate. Because the Ocean knows all of the waves are part of the whole Ocean. Whew! Goms thinks that about covers the you and me and the Ocean and the waves…..Or does it?

Spiritual seekers often find themselves inside this same paradox. ‘We’ or ‘They’ (same thing really) think, If ‘I’ can lose ‘myself’…(my ego)…then I have accomplished Spirituality. Seeking is kind of sad because it represents a sort of sadness in not having found what you seek (want). But the big secret is…..the moment you think you have lost your ego….your ego finds another loop-hole to make ‘it’ into another ‘you’. So now you are the ‘True Spiritual One’. ZAP…Ego got you again!

The other big secret is that ‘we’ are supposed to experience fear, sadness, joy, hope, etc. Because if we don’t….we won’t know when the opposite experience comes around. We are just all ONE big happy (or not) member of the ‘Ocean Family’, ‘thinking’ we know it all. And as soon as we think that we do know it all…..ZAP….ego is in control again.

Take a flood. It is the same flood that wipes out a town that goes on to bring much needed water to the farmer and his crops, further down the way. So, is the flood a bad flood or a good flood? The goodness or badness of the flood is relative. It is only made good or bad by owning the experience and how it affects you. Your own conditioning of the flood….your judging of the flood. And this is when ‘suffering’ begins. Wishing it weren’t so. But it is so…..and when you can just accept that it is so…..the suffering stops. When it is someone elses’ flood….then it is sad. But when the flood is owned…it is then ‘my sadness.’.

It is a brilliant ‘game’, so to speak, that God is observing of all of His waves. How ‘we’ all act and react to the situations and experiences of this thingy called Life. We have free will…..we experience different situations, people, obstacles, joys….etc. One day we are the calm waves in the Ocean…another day we are the upset wave crashing on shore….another day we are huge and on a different day….we are puny. But we are still all part of the ONE Ocean.

That is why, when we do something to ‘someone else’…we are actually doing it to ourselves. When one rises….we all rise. And that is also why….there is no good or bad, or right or wrong. It only becomes a life experience when we begin to ‘OWN’ the experience. It is when we say, “I am a sad person.” Because before you own it….it is only sadness….not YOUR sadness. You made YOU, the one who is experiencing the sadness…you made YOU the sad person.

1 Cor.1:10 – says that, “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.”
To Goms…this is a parable that the Christ was trying to show that we ARE all one. Why did Jesus speak in Parables? Jesus explained the reason for this when He said in Mark 4:10-12 – “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside, everything is said in parables so that, ‘they may be ever seeing but not perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise, they might turn and be forgiven!” This explains how some of ‘us’ may seem to 'get it' and others are forever stumbling around in Duh-Land. Oh-Oh Goms…be careful…Ego is starting to creep in here. Wink and Smile. ((*-^))

Now, it may seem mean or harsh to only have a message available to some and not all. But what Jesus was saying is that He wanted those who didn’t truly want ‘understanding’ or want the Truth…to remain baffled until they searched and found the ‘truth’ themselves. Not just because He said something and was being BLINDLY followed. The other reason may have been that Jesus wanted the ‘seeker’ to experience the kingdom of God for themselves. We can try to paint a picture of a beautiful Sunset or what Love ‘feels’ like…but until we experience it ourselves….we can’t know the ‘Truth’ of it.

So….long story LONG…lol…whatever we are doing to another…we are actually doing to our self. So, lighten up peeps. If we are doing mean and hateful things…we are actually shooting our self in the foot! If you truly want a nice, peaceful life experience…..BE nice and peaceful. This life experience is totally, one-hundred percent like looking into a mirror or your reflection in a puddle. It is the manifestation of what you are projecting into IT. Think about it….be the person, thing, event, situation…..that you want it to be. To put it in a ‘Virtual Nutshell’, just enjoy this life experience and know that whatever is happening or not happening is doing so EXACTLY the way it is supposed to. If it weren’t…it wouldn’t be your life experience. So, accept whatever it is that is happening at this time in your life experience. You can do it. Gommy is pulling for you. But….this is just Gommy’s perception…so you may take it or leave it right here on the pages of this Blog. No worries….or to put it another way blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. But Goms loves you all just the same…. UNCONDITIONALLY! Hugs & Mush- Gommy
(PS-the hug of war poem is from Shel Silverstein....a very bright man, poet and author!)

When is Too Much....Too Much?

Hello boys and girls. What a beautiful day in the land of Paradise - aka Sunny South Florida. How Gommy got so Blessed to wind up back here in this wonderful place, I'll never know. But I am gratefully accepting the Blessing and acknowledging that I am most certainly Blessed.

Goms was wondering something today. When is too much...too much? Like....anger. Anger can be good (sorta)....like when you have had enough and you express your anger (in a calm way) to the person who may be causing this anger....and it corrects the problem. But, when we take anger to the extreme....it never has a good outcome. Like taking things out on other people....that is called 'misplaced anger'. But when we use anger to 'wake someone up' to what is bother us....that is a good thing. But when we get so angry that the outcome is damaging....then anger is not a good thing. Also, if we are angry all the time....the effectiveness of anger is dissipated. We just appear to be an 'angry person' and people will make a very wide berth around you.....just to avoid what you may be thinking is you, just 'letting off steam'. So the important thing to remember is what context of 'anger' you are exhibiting. Letting off steam.....is a good thing. Staying an 'angry person' all the time....not so much.

Then, the subject of our beliefs came to mind. It is never a good idea to try to make anyone else believe the way you believe. Just as it is not a good idea for anyone else to try to make you believe their way. Just the other day, someone said they thought of my belief system to be metaphysical. At first, I thought that the person was using it as a dismissive adjective for the way I believe. So, I looked up the word metaphysical. The definition is:

Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy concerned with explaining the fundamental nature of being and the world,^[1] although the term is not easily defined.^[2] Traditionally, metaphysics attempts to answer two basic questions in the broadest possible terms:

1. "What is there?"
2. "What is 'IT' like?"^[3]

So when I found the definition....I thought...oh...that IS exactly what I am trying to discover through my Spiritual searching. So, that IS my belief system. I do believe that the Universe/God is all there is and that we (the collectively we) are the manifestation of God in the human form. Not too spooky or creepy when it is explained that way is it? It just means that we 'beings' are OF this world and are experiencing all that we are bringing to us.

So, back to the 'too much' topic for today.....we can also ask how a family ever gets into a feud that makes them permanent enemies? It is hard to comprehend how a family can live in the same home, with the same parents and siblings, and grow up together in that family dynamic and then some time when they are adults....they combust and the family becomes enemies of one another. Combustion....that is a curious word. It means: an uproar or clamor. Or a ballyhoo, a big stink, ferment, fuss, revolt or a vexation. YUP....that pretty much sums it up. It is too much of someone or something. My mother used to say.....'Familiarity breeds contempt.' That means that when we are with someone for 'too long'...things begin to feel prickly about them. It is easy to feel that they are getting on our nerves. When we are a family...our parents are always making us 'be nice' and 'play nice with our brothers or sisters'. But what is happening in reality is.....they are driving us up the wall. Just being related is not a precursor to liking someone. You may love them but you certainly don't always LIKE them.

So, this too much stuff can really apply to anything. 'Too much of a good thing.' i.e. if you eat too much candy....you get sick. Or if you have a nice, thick, juicy steak for breakfast, lunch and supper every day....you will tire of it. And that is why it is also a miracle that a man and a woman can live together year in and year out without killing each other. lol

Gommy better end this blog....RIGHT NOW....because it may be becoming TOO LONG. The idea here is to use moderation in everything. In the foods we eat, in the politics we have, in the religions we practice, and in being in someones' face too much. So.....moderate yourselves my little Peeps. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya' - Hugs & Mush- Gommy

A Word by Another Name???

When my daughter Tiffany was alive…she used to keep her Old Mom up-to-date in the phraseology of the day. Today, they have entries for such words in something called the Urban Dictionary. Tiffany would always put a word-of-the-week on the dryer for me (she knew I would definitely find it if she put it in the laundry room…lol). I loved finding my new word each week. Thanks Spiffy Tiffy!

Now that I am a woman ‘Of a Certain Age’ (for real) I subscribe to AARP (the organization for retired persons….of which I may never find myself because it looks as if I will be working forever.) But that is all right by me. It keeps the brain and body going and allows me to ‘stay with it’. Gommy is from the generation that believes that you lose it if you don’t use it.

Anywho…in this month’s edition of the bulletin…low and behold…there is an article on ‘New Words and Expressions’ that have become used so often, that they have actually been added to the dictionary. Seems my Tiffy was way ahead of herself!

Just in case you aren’t a subscriber yourself, I’ll let all my ‘old chums’ in on the ones that I particularly like, and plan on using.

1) Automagically- Done in a way that seems magical. (happens every day)

2) Bromance- Close, male, platonic relationship (is there any other kind at our age?…lol)

3) Cheeseball-Lacking taste or style (have met my share of these)

4) Chillax-to calm down and relax (can think of several people I know who could use this one…FOR SHO!)

5) Cougar- Older woman who dates younger men (why would you put yourself through all the angst, for heavens sake? If you date a much older person…you will always be the hot-‘Younger Chick/Hen’…lol)

6) Exit-strategy- Planned means of extricating oneself from a situation (you should practice using this one….. it can be very useful)

7) Frenemy- A‘friend’ with whom one has frequent conflict (I say, just Unfriend them…which happens to be another new term described later in the list) Life is too short for aggravations…

8) Friend- to add to a list of personal associated on a website (bet you thought you already had this one nailed. Nope, these younguns’ are trying to mess with our minds ;)

9) Gal Pal- A female friend- (can’t have too many of these….but make sure they are for real)

10) Hater- A negative or mean person. (stay away from these types…REALLY, REALLY FAR AWAY!)

11) Heart- Not the organ….This one is a Verb, meaning to very much love!!

12) Own- to utterly defeat or humiliate (I would rather use it as really, truly understanding a situation or project…remember to stay away from negatives.)

13) Pimp- Noooo…not the one you are thinking of…this one means to make something more showy or impressive. Boy, they really changed the meaning of this word!!!

14) Rock- Not the Noun…this one means to do something in a confident, super way.

15) Staycation- Vacation spent at home. (what many folks are forced to be doing in this soft economy)

16) Toxic debt- Debt that has a high risk of default. (yep…sadly, many already know this one. But all debt is toxic to Goms).

17) Tweet- Posting made on the social networking site Twitter. (not what Tweety Bird does)

18) Unfriend- To remove from a list of personal associates on a website. (referred to above.)

19) Viral-Circulating rapidly on the Internet- (happening too frequently every day….and usually in a negative way. But, wouldn’t it be nice if being friendly, or nice would become viral?)

20) Zombie Bank- An insolvent bank that survives through government support. (Why not just close them down? We have enough Corporate Welfare…DUH).

Then, there's something I heard on TV last night…With all the talk about people being profiled and having to show proof of being an American Citizen….if you don’t want to carry around your important personal papers, i.e. birth certificate or Passport….you can prove you are an American, just by showing three of your maxed out credit card bills and your foreclosure notice.

And finally, something else I heard recently that was very funny and I plan on using (frequently)....is when someone is blah-blahing in your face....just say, "Excuse me, may I interrupt you for a sec? This may be very important.....I've stopped listening!".

Hope this helps all "My Peeps" out there in aging land. Gommy is just trying to help all the other 'Friends of a Certain Age' to keep up with the lingo of the day ;) - So study and learn these new words and terms, so you'll be 'in the know' ( an old timers term, just in case any youngsters are reading this.....Wink-Wink (* >^ ) .

You can do it...Gommy is Pulling for ya' Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Computers R Us !

Hello fellow computer users. Gommy was thinking how much we are like our computers. Of course humans are much more complicated machines than computers. But when you start thinking of the parts of computers and how they store information, process information and breakdown or 'crash' when a bug or virus attacks....it is funny to use the analogy of a computer for we humans. Example? Well, think of this: A CPU is a (Central Processing Unit). It is the nerve center of the computer- everything flows through it. Often it is just called "the processor". So, for today's analogy, we will say our bodies are our CPU.

Next metaphor? Each morning we wake up....but our computer must 'boot' up. This means to "start up the computer". Literally, the process of loading up the operating system and getting the computer ready for use. Then, in human terms, we usually do the same things as we get ready to start our day; brush our teeth, take a shower, eat breakfast, etc. The computer uses the Start Menu to launch it's chores for the day. Any programs placed in this folder will launch themselves automatically whenever you start up your computer.

The computer uses either a mouse or a touchpad (which is a pressure-sensitive pad which replaces the mouse on most laptop computers) to navigate on the page. Humans navigate by either, car, airplane, another vehicle, or just plain walking. But there can involve pressure-sensitive issues involved in humans navigating around too. Like, traffic jams, flat tires, rude people we come in contact with or blisters or sore feet.

When we humans want to talk....we speak the thoughts that are on our minds. However, we do this sometimes without thinking it completely through. On a computer, a word processor is used for creating documents, letters etc. The computer is one up on us with that one, because you can go back and change what you want to say in word processing. You can delete, review and change anything you think sounds better. Speaking whatever comes into your head and out to your mouth..... without the ability to delete...not so much! Oh, and the 'we' that is being referred to, is 'we humans' or in computer talk the Webmaster, i.e. the person.

A worm in computer lingo is a malicious program introduced into computers by stealth, similar to a virus. In humans...a worm is pretty much the same sort of miserable thing, but personified. A Trojan, in computer language is a program similar to a virus which is disguised as something harmless like a game, but when launched actually sabotages the computer on which it is running. For humans, a Trojan brings to mind....uh...you can figure than one out yourself.

A persons' memory is how we remember good times we have had or the appointment we have at the doctors' office next week. A computer has RAM (random access memory). This is where the computer holds whatever you are currently working on. The contents of memory are lost when the computer is switched off. Unfortunately, 'we' can't turn off our memory or whatever is bugging us as easily. There are times when 'we' smile, frown, wink or are astonished. The computer can show these emotions too, with Emoticons....(EMOTion ICON) A group of symbols used to indicate emotions, i.e. :) or :( or ;) or :O.

When a computer program or operating system stops working completely or almost completely.....the computer is said to have "crashed". When a computer crashes it usually needs to be rebooted (slapped in the face or given a wake-up call to humans) before it can be used again. Or sometimes, it just can't be revived. We humans crash at times too. We just have too much information, stress, depression, etc. and we just don't want to function any longer. On a computer, you can just uninstall or remove a program (problem) from your system.It would be helpful if we could 'UnInstall' some of the junk we worry about. Or even better, you can go back and restore your computer to an earlier date when the computer was working properly. Geesh, Gommy would sure like to be able to use that function!

We humans all pretty much like cookies. Those small, round and delicious concoctions made of flour, sugar and other yummy ingredients. But a computer's cookies consist of small data files stored on your computer by a website, in theory to allow it to "remember" your preferences. They can be pretty harmless on a computer......but on my hips? Well, let's not go there right now. OK???

When you transfer information (files) from a network (such as the Internet) onto a user's PC, that is called to 'download'. When we 'download' information into our psyche, it isn't always beneficial to us and it can be stuff that doesn't need to be worried about or fears that will never materialize anyway, but we continue to fret over them. It would be very useful to be able to 'erase' that junk from our 'mainframe' or 'hard-drive'.

We have all had people who have tried to do us harm, by slandering us or just plain lying about us. Those people are called 'Haters'. In computer language, that is called a 'Hacker. That is a person who uses computers to access ("hack") systems they are not supposed to have access to of other people's financial details, personnel files, military secrets etc. Hacking can get you arrested in the computer world....too bad we can't arrest the 'Haters' in our world.

If you just want to browse around the WEB....you can surf. That isn't the kind of surfing we humans do at the beach with the big waves and surfboards though. And finally, we have pretty much replaced 'snail mail' with emails.... A way to send messages between computers, or more to the point their users, either over a network or the Internet. E-mail is usually just text. Although it is possible to send pictures, sounds or even programs as e-mail. There is something Gommy misses about getting a real letter or a real greeting card in the mail. Oh well.....times are changing and if we aren't on the information highway of life...we will definitely be left at the train station. Does anyone still remember train stations? Oh bother :)

So, as you can see, we are pretty much like our computers. Just add in emotions, frustrations, or even the really good stuff.....love. I'll take more of the love stuff thank you. But I can honestly say, it would be pretty hard to do without computers. We have come to realize they are a part of our lives now and even though the old days had some pretty good stuff back then.....technology waits on no human. So, get with it peeps. Boot up.....you can do it...Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Did you hear me?

Hello boys and girls. Gommy was reading an article in O Magazine and there was a very interesting interview with the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. One of the questions was about 'listening' to heal. It resonated with Gommy, because I have been guilty of not hearing what I was listening to in the past. There is a tendency to try to 'fix it' or give advice on the subject when we are sharing a deep, personal telling from another.

What this very clever man said is that 'Deep Listening' is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. He called it 'Compassionate Listening'. In this type of listening...you listen with only one purpose: to help him/her to empty his heart. This means to keep listening, even when they may be full of wrong perceptions and are full of bitterness. You continue to listen with compassion because you know that they NEED to get this out of them. When they are able to 'get it out'....you are helping them to suffer less. If you feel the need to help them with their perceptions of the situation....you can do that at a later time. But for this time.....do not interrupt. You do not argue the points with them. Because if you do, they lose the chance to cleanse their suffering. Even one hour of this kind of listening....can be transformational.

We all need to vent at times. And yes, we do want someone to agree with us. But if we start agreeing with them or giving advice...they won't heal properly. It is like putting a band-aid on a dirty cut. It will not heal properly until you clean out the 'wound' completely.

Thich Nhat Hanh went on to shed light on how not being able to cleanse wrong perceptions can lead to violence and conflict and even wars. The terrorists have wrong perceptions about themselves and of us. They believe the 'other group' is trying to destroy them, their religion and their civilization. So, they want to annihilate 'us', before we can kill them. The anti-terrorists feel the same way. This fear and anger on both sides cannot be solved with guns and bombs. Communication is the ONLY way to solve hatred. Listening and allowing 'them' to know that 'we' hear what they are saying. That we understand they are suffering. That we want to learn what will make the wrong perceptions right for all mankind.

When we are honest...the other 'side', person, situation......will feel comfortable in opening their hearts to the fact that we are truly trying to understand. Only then, will terrorism be removed. This also applies to any conflict; be it work related, or difficulties with family members or friends. All things are possible with love in our hearts.

Look at what happened in Arizona this week with all the hate killings. The man who committed these heinous acts was suffering with wrong perceptions. He was full of hate and it is obvious that no one was truly listening to his rants. His suffering turned into a violent act where many innocent people were targeted and sadly killed. Perhaps things would have been different if there had been someone who had listened to him over time and had let him get all his wrong perceptions out. That may have allowed him to vent....which is just another way of saying...'letting off steam.' He may have been able to see that he did have wrong perceptions, if he had let off that horrible steam that had been building up in him for so long. As in the band-aid theory....the wound will keep festering until it is cleansed thoroughly.

Compassion and understanding go hand in hand. Until we really hear what we are listening to, there will be a divide. The next time you have a situation arise that could use this type of 'listening'...try it. Stay quiet until you feel the other person has been able to cleanse whatever is going on in their life situation. You will be doing them and the world a huge, ginormous favor. When one rises....we all rise. We must realize that every thought or deed produces action (good or bad). There is a piece I read that was beautiful...it said, 'even a pebble thrown in the ocean makes the ocean different.' We are all pebbles and the ripple effect is felt by all.

So, remember.....we all suffer when we are struggling against something. When we are caught up in wrong perceptions. When we are not at peace with 'what is'. When we try to....and then realize.....we cannot change what has been or what is. So, Gommys' wish for you all is that you find your way to peace of mind boys and girls. Get it out....get it all out. You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'..Hugs & Mush Gommy