Just Kidding....Gommy knows everyone else can't always be wrong.....But it has come to Goms' attention lately that people are fiercely protective of whatever they were fed, along with their pablum, while they were forming (or more correctly, having formed) their belief systems. Emphasis on 'belief'....cause we ALL should know that what we believe is based on the faith that what we were taught is the right dogma, religious bent, prejudices, biases......you get the point, right?
Take for instance the Christian belief. Christianity makes up 33% of the worlds' religion. Does that mean the other 67% of the world is going to burn in hell? Don't think so....that is not the God I choose to believe is a loving God. Just as parents don't disown or worse, kill their children for not following our directives....I doubt that my God would do the same with his creations.
Goms may have an advantage here in that, as I have said many times, Goms was raised a 'visitor' when it came to churches. My mother took me to many different persuasions of churches and/or synagogues while growing up. As for my Dad, he had given up on religion at a young age while he was self- teaching himself and read the Inquisition of Spain and came to realize how many people were killed in the name of Religion. He decided he didn't want to be a member of that club.....There were other factors such as being ex-communicated for divorcing because it was church doctrine that you could not divorce and be in the church no matter what.....and that kinda made him mad at the whole idea of religion too. But as I went from church to church to synagogue, it became quite clear, quite early on, that different things were being taught in my Sunday School classes.... depending on which 'facility' we were attending that week. It was all 'sorta' the same, at least in the Christian churches, but there were some things that seemed to have been tweaked and even though I was a youngster....it made the little girl in me start to ask questions. Quietly and only to myself at first and while I was young. But as Goms grew older and could examine things more extensively for myself, I understood how the saying that, "Born a ______(fill in the blank with your own affiliation), always a ____(repeat)." could come into being. If I had only gone to one church/synagogue all of my growing and belief forming years, it would have been very difficult to have anyone change the way I had been told to think (believe).
We all understand the concept of 'brain-washing', but don't think it should ever be applied to our being taught to believe the way our parents, community, society, church, etc. have told us the way things are.......and that their belief is the way that it is in this world and beyond. I am a parent, and I surely wouldn't tell my children that I know for certain what is on the other side of this life. Annnnddddd......I'd like to know how the ones that profess to know, actually do know.
Now, Goms isn't saying religion is a bad thing....it helps us to think there will be consequences for how we lead our lives in that there will one day be a day of reckoning. And it can be of enormous help when our moral compass wants to veer off and be naughty or even evil. But when religion, dogma, bias, etc. are taken to the extreme and becomes derisive......that is when it becomes dangerous.
Goms has come to my own conclusions that there is a God/Universe Creator/Being, that is greater than us and who did indeed create this wonderful world we are fortunate enough to be sampling. The part where I am positively, without a doubt SURE that what I think is absolute.....sorry, can't go that far. And when I'm told to have 'faith' when some of my questions can't be answered, it just doesn't sit all that well with Goms. Sorry folks, I just can't drink the Kool-Aid on some of the 'folklore'......
This is not to say that Goms doesn't believe in prayer....because I have seen it work many times myself. There are times that we might not think this is so because it didn't turn out the way we 'wanted' or asked for a certain outcome....... What does happen when we have surrendered and given in or given up trying to do things the way we were doing them, and seeing that we weren't doing a very good job at it, and we let go of the oars and ask (usually it is more like begging) to be taken to where we are supposed to be for our own good, is when we see our real prayers answered in a way we could never have imagined. Goms has had this revelation personally and the enormous pressure you feel when you give it over to the Higher Being/God.....cannot be put into words. You just somehow know.....and your spiritual side is born. This is probably what the people who say they have 'heard the word of God' mean. It isn't His actual voice...it is a beautiful feeling that you have been 'heard' and the feeling of being surrounded by PURE LOVE! At least this is how it was for Goms. I repeat...this is something I experienced personally, not something someone 'told' me would happen. And Goms thinks you may have to have experienced a deep hopelessness or loss to find yourself in this place.
Another thing that is mind puzzling to Goms is why we can't see that the farther away we are from the spectrum of living a certain way, or a different belief system, or acting a certain way or be unlike someone's skin color, or someone elses custom being different from our own..... etc., we tend to bristle against it or become afraid of it. When this happens to Goms , I usually tend to question it more about why I feel so threatened or afraid of the other end of the particular spectrum. Foreign things may sometimes make us feel like we don't belong to that click or club and so many people then take that opportunity to make fun of the custom, belief or habit that is foreign and somehow they think it makes them....what? Better if they make fun or ridicule a whole class of other humans? NOT!!! But, they are probably making fun of us too....and sadly, that is the human in us all.
We really don't have to be afraid of our difference, we can embrace them. And even if we aren't Christians, we could try to live our lives Christ-like and that would make it pretty darn difficult to judge others, be hateful towards anyone else, condemn someone for having a different skin color than we do and just might prove to make us to be gentle with ourselves, the Earth and everyone we come in contact with. It also seems puzzling to Goms that while some people don't have any problem being friends with Jews ( who outright deny Jesus), they find it unsettling to remain friends with those who have questioned their Christian upbringing. Wuz' up with dat 'friend'???
This is what has been praying on Gommys' mind this week. Gommy is trying to be open-minded about letting everyone have their own system of beliefs, customs, skin color, habits, etc. and let Goms continue to search and question away. We don't arbitrarily have to be afraid of differences......different isn't bad....it's just different. You wouldn't want a mosaic to be all one color tile or it would just be a bathroom shower wall....and not a beautiful piece of art to enjoy! We can all be a beautiful tapestry of differences......Let's sing it together guys......."Kum Bay Yah, Kum Bay Yah......There now, doesn't that feel better? It's worth a try and it couldn't hurt, right boys and girls? So, have a Blessed Sunday and week ahead and be grateful for each second of each hour of each day we are given.....Hugs and Mush ((^o^))
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Relationship Still Continues
This is the time of year that our children will be graduating from school all around the country. Be it Pre K, elementary school, high school or college. It is a rite of passage when all Moms will be sharing that same 'lump in the throat' experience we all have felt with our children when they graduated from their milestone events.
It is always a little scary to let your high school graduate be leaving to go off to college. This is because mothers are always trying to protect their children. We start as soon as we know we are going to have a baby. The ginormous prenatal pills we are expected to swallow so our babies will have strong bones, the eating the proper balance of protein and the other good foods on the proverbial health chart pyramid, the sacrifice of not eating or drinking anything for the nine months that might harm the baby in any way.
Then after they are born, there is the every waking moment of making sure they don't choke or smother when they are infants. Then mothers try to protect them from falling when they start to walk. As they grow older, mothers try to shelter them from getting their feelings hurt from school chums or bullies. We try to prevent them from getting their hearts broken as they reach puberty and start the dreaded boy/girl exchange that will make them all giddy and this is the time also, when mom becomes the enemy and the dumb person who doesn't understand ANYTHING anymore.
Then there is the right school, the right friends, the proper attire so they don't look as if no one was at home noticing how they went out the door. After they graduate, they go off to college and you can no longer be the 'protector' and you hope and pray that everything you did to teach them the right way to be safe and how to act......actually stuck somewhere in that head of theirs.
This isn't to say that fathers don't try to protect their children, because they do. Gommy is just writing about a mother's perspective because Goms is a MOM!!! That is what I know and what I felt as a mom, raising three children.
Gommy was fortunate enough to be Blessed with three children. We went through all the stuff moms and kids go through. But we also went through some stuff that no one ever wants to go through. The father of my children was killed in a car accident when they were just 8, 11 & 12. That was a time of having your world pulled out from under you.....it was a sock in the stomach, a slap in the face, and it was virtually mind-blowing. And it was also the end of a family that was in tact and had made everyone feel safe up to that point.
Trying to get by after losing a loved one is actually just going through the motions. You don't really have a choice if you are to go on. Because one thing Gommy learned is that no matter what is happening in your own life.....life does go on. Now, you can make the choice to be bitter and take it out on the world, or to shrink back from life and choose alcohol, drugs, or whatever obsessive crutch there is to help you cope. Or you can choose to 'accept' what happened and hopefully, someday, will understand "why". But the obsessive crutches don't help anything and in the end, they will eventually destroy anything you do have left. Goms isn't pointing fingers here because some people just can't cope. That is unfortunate and not something to blame the person for. But there does come a time when the expiration period of blaming what has happened to you in your life does expire. You must take responsibility for how you live the rest of the time you have on Earth. So Goms's advice is to try to 'accept' what is...because there really is no other choice when you think about it. It is what it is......it will not change.
Now, after losing your husband and trying to go on with your life....and you begin to think you have done an O.K. job so far.....you don't really ever think anything else that horrible could ever happen to you again. Wrong people.....there is always something worse that can happen. Gommy always shudders when she hears someone say, "What else can happen?" Believe me, something else CAN happen. In Gommys' case it was losing two of her beautiful children in another tragic car accident. This is probably a time when anyone would give you a pass if you decided it was just too much to take and you did succumb to the crutches out there. But when you are Blessed with still having a beautiful daughter that was spared....you do go on.
Gommy had remarried after losing her husband and it was to a remarkable man who took on marrying a woman with three children. It isn't any picnic to come into a house where you aren't exactly welcomed with open arms. But stay he did and in time things did work out with everyone and I now have a companion and love to share and enjoy my Golden Years with.
The thing Gommy has been thinking about quite a bit lately is that we really cannot protect our children, no matter how diligent we may be. One of the hardest parts of losing your child is that you feel as if you failed at protecting them. That was my job as their mother....I had spent my whole life trying to protect them and I just couldn't do it. There are no words that were ever written for the grief a mother feels when her child dies. It isn't supposed to be that way. Parents die before their children. That is what we are 'promised' isn't it? It isn't natural to bury your child. But it does happen and we have to go on.
But the part that is most important is that we did have our children. And we did have a wonderful relationship with them and happy times, and birthday parties, and PTA open houses,and Christmases and other yearly holidays and milestone graduations, and Disney World trips, and snuggle hugs and kisses, and making the boo-boos go away, and being adored just because you were their Mommy, and, and, and....So, we must be grateful that we did have them and smile when a memory comes floating back to us. They were just loaned to us and they were and are truly the greatest gift you could ever receive.
The title of this blog is "The Relationship Still Continues" and what Goms means by this is that they will always be my little boy and girls. No matter how big they are and I still feel the presence of Terry and Tiffany all the time. I feel them watching over me and I still feel the love they have for me. And I have my beautiful daughter Tracey and my love grows for her each day. And we are fortunate enough to be able to still make memories together for a very long time to come. And Tracey has two beautiful children that I can love to pieces and make even more memories with. And my son Terry left two beautiful children that I now have a relationship with and it is so awesome to spend time with them. And Goms is Gommy also to my husband Mike's granddaughter Kyra. She is a beautiful little girl and is a joy to be around. A mother cannot ask for much more than that. So, you see, the relationships do go on.
So, Mommies out there.....enjoy your little ones and your big ones and your troubled ones and your successful ones.....because the time goes by in an instant. Keep making those memories....they will be your "Gommy Security Blankie" in your old age when you look back in remembrance and are smiling about the good times you were fortunate enough to have been given. Hugs and Mush boys and girls and good luck on your lifes' travels and the experiences you are all about to begin.....Kiss, Kiss....Muahhhh
It is always a little scary to let your high school graduate be leaving to go off to college. This is because mothers are always trying to protect their children. We start as soon as we know we are going to have a baby. The ginormous prenatal pills we are expected to swallow so our babies will have strong bones, the eating the proper balance of protein and the other good foods on the proverbial health chart pyramid, the sacrifice of not eating or drinking anything for the nine months that might harm the baby in any way.
Then after they are born, there is the every waking moment of making sure they don't choke or smother when they are infants. Then mothers try to protect them from falling when they start to walk. As they grow older, mothers try to shelter them from getting their feelings hurt from school chums or bullies. We try to prevent them from getting their hearts broken as they reach puberty and start the dreaded boy/girl exchange that will make them all giddy and this is the time also, when mom becomes the enemy and the dumb person who doesn't understand ANYTHING anymore.
Then there is the right school, the right friends, the proper attire so they don't look as if no one was at home noticing how they went out the door. After they graduate, they go off to college and you can no longer be the 'protector' and you hope and pray that everything you did to teach them the right way to be safe and how to act......actually stuck somewhere in that head of theirs.
This isn't to say that fathers don't try to protect their children, because they do. Gommy is just writing about a mother's perspective because Goms is a MOM!!! That is what I know and what I felt as a mom, raising three children.
Gommy was fortunate enough to be Blessed with three children. We went through all the stuff moms and kids go through. But we also went through some stuff that no one ever wants to go through. The father of my children was killed in a car accident when they were just 8, 11 & 12. That was a time of having your world pulled out from under you.....it was a sock in the stomach, a slap in the face, and it was virtually mind-blowing. And it was also the end of a family that was in tact and had made everyone feel safe up to that point.
Trying to get by after losing a loved one is actually just going through the motions. You don't really have a choice if you are to go on. Because one thing Gommy learned is that no matter what is happening in your own life.....life does go on. Now, you can make the choice to be bitter and take it out on the world, or to shrink back from life and choose alcohol, drugs, or whatever obsessive crutch there is to help you cope. Or you can choose to 'accept' what happened and hopefully, someday, will understand "why". But the obsessive crutches don't help anything and in the end, they will eventually destroy anything you do have left. Goms isn't pointing fingers here because some people just can't cope. That is unfortunate and not something to blame the person for. But there does come a time when the expiration period of blaming what has happened to you in your life does expire. You must take responsibility for how you live the rest of the time you have on Earth. So Goms's advice is to try to 'accept' what is...because there really is no other choice when you think about it. It is what it is......it will not change.
Now, after losing your husband and trying to go on with your life....and you begin to think you have done an O.K. job so far.....you don't really ever think anything else that horrible could ever happen to you again. Wrong people.....there is always something worse that can happen. Gommy always shudders when she hears someone say, "What else can happen?" Believe me, something else CAN happen. In Gommys' case it was losing two of her beautiful children in another tragic car accident. This is probably a time when anyone would give you a pass if you decided it was just too much to take and you did succumb to the crutches out there. But when you are Blessed with still having a beautiful daughter that was spared....you do go on.
Gommy had remarried after losing her husband and it was to a remarkable man who took on marrying a woman with three children. It isn't any picnic to come into a house where you aren't exactly welcomed with open arms. But stay he did and in time things did work out with everyone and I now have a companion and love to share and enjoy my Golden Years with.
The thing Gommy has been thinking about quite a bit lately is that we really cannot protect our children, no matter how diligent we may be. One of the hardest parts of losing your child is that you feel as if you failed at protecting them. That was my job as their mother....I had spent my whole life trying to protect them and I just couldn't do it. There are no words that were ever written for the grief a mother feels when her child dies. It isn't supposed to be that way. Parents die before their children. That is what we are 'promised' isn't it? It isn't natural to bury your child. But it does happen and we have to go on.
But the part that is most important is that we did have our children. And we did have a wonderful relationship with them and happy times, and birthday parties, and PTA open houses,and Christmases and other yearly holidays and milestone graduations, and Disney World trips, and snuggle hugs and kisses, and making the boo-boos go away, and being adored just because you were their Mommy, and, and, and....So, we must be grateful that we did have them and smile when a memory comes floating back to us. They were just loaned to us and they were and are truly the greatest gift you could ever receive.
The title of this blog is "The Relationship Still Continues" and what Goms means by this is that they will always be my little boy and girls. No matter how big they are and I still feel the presence of Terry and Tiffany all the time. I feel them watching over me and I still feel the love they have for me. And I have my beautiful daughter Tracey and my love grows for her each day. And we are fortunate enough to be able to still make memories together for a very long time to come. And Tracey has two beautiful children that I can love to pieces and make even more memories with. And my son Terry left two beautiful children that I now have a relationship with and it is so awesome to spend time with them. And Goms is Gommy also to my husband Mike's granddaughter Kyra. She is a beautiful little girl and is a joy to be around. A mother cannot ask for much more than that. So, you see, the relationships do go on.
So, Mommies out there.....enjoy your little ones and your big ones and your troubled ones and your successful ones.....because the time goes by in an instant. Keep making those memories....they will be your "Gommy Security Blankie" in your old age when you look back in remembrance and are smiling about the good times you were fortunate enough to have been given. Hugs and Mush boys and girls and good luck on your lifes' travels and the experiences you are all about to begin.....Kiss, Kiss....Muahhhh
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
All We Need is Love......
Gommy sang that song along with the radio a zillion and one times as a young girl. But it wasn't until some age attached itself to this old 'till' did it make any sense. Goms thinks the words mean that what we all ultimately really want out of our life is to be loved.
Now we can feel that we are loved if we are accepted by people we care about. Or that we are respected for the life choices we have made or the successes we have accomplished. But that can also cause envy for some and we don't want that, do we? Or it can come in the form of the good feeling that comes from being with people who actually enjoy your company and who invite you to functions because they really want you there and it isn't because they feel it is a duty or it is socially expected. That good feeling we get when we can feel that someone truly enjoys being with us is so wonderful that we just can't get enough of being with that person or people.
Goms wonders why some people seem to 'get' or 'click' with other people and think they are just the best thing since sliced bread and others don't have the same reaction to the very same person. They can think this person is amazing, awesome, funny, great to spend time with......and other people don't see those same things at all in the very same person. Could it be that the old saying; "birds of a feather, flock together", means that the more you are like a person, the more fun it is to be around them? But then Goms has seen examples of people who are not like each other at all, and they seem to get along famously. Go figure!
Maybe jealousy comes into the process and that jealousy may be that we wish we were more like a certain person and that makes us not want to be around that person because we feel we don't measure up. Have you ever been around a person who you feel disapproves of you? You don't want to be around that person very much, do you? It is much more pleasant to be with people who like you and like your personality and your interests.
Or how about the person who has to control every single aspect of your relationship? That is a real drag. They never seem to see that they are expecting you to do what they want you to do, and all the while they never seem to want to do what you may wish to do. That sort of relationship never feels very good and doesn't get very far...for very understandable reasons!
But back to needing love. In the grand scheme of things, we all just need to feel appreciated. And being loved comes about as close to filling that need as any other emotion, bauble, food, drink, accomplishment or relationship with anything else that we may try to fill up on.
The thing to remember is, and here is the rub, you have to allow yourself to be loved. If you are an arms-length type of person....guess what.....you will have arms-length relationships. You have to take the chance of being hurt and being wrong and being unloved and just try to BE lovable. It really is the truth that 'whatever' you put out there is what you get back in return. It's just that easy folks......There's no argument that you can make to disagree. If you are cold....cold is what will come back to you. If you are selfish....people will show selfishness back to you. If you are spiteful.....well, you get the picture now don't you? Goms keeps harping on the same train of thought...KARMA IS A CHARMA. Reap and sow, reap and sow, reap and sow.........Can't get any clearer or simpler than that peeps.
Another way to look at love and being loved and needing love is that if we love, there is no room for the other nasty or undesirable emotions to come into play. You can't have two opposite emotions at work at the same time. You can't laugh AND cry at the same time, you can't be happy AND mad at the same time, and you can't love AND hate at the same time either. So maybe that is what the song meant.
So, if you want love in your life.....love others. If you want compassion...show compassion. If you want people to feel close to you.....quit being so hard to get close to. Think before you say things that will hurt people. Gommy has had a few life lessons with that one. But as long as we learn from our faux pas......it is not a lesson that was for nothing. And Goms really believes that we are given life lessons all the time. We just don't always 'pass' the lesson and graduate onto the next lesson. So, we keep making the same stupid mistake, over and over and over.......DUH!!!
Also, don't be so quick to strike out at people for doing something that you have done yourself. You know, the old 'Forest for the trees' scenario? Even the Bible says that whatever you want from others, you must give of it yourself....Remember the part about..."Do unto others".... ?
So, this week, try to think of how you are coming across to other people. You may find that if you look inward, you may just see that you can understand why other people find you to be a certain way. Edkhart Tolle says that if you take care of your 'inside you' your outside you and your world around you will take care of itself. Gommy thinks he just may have something there......Have a great week boys and girls. And practice being the way you want others to be to you. It was another very wise man, Gandhi, who said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." I think he was onto something too but nobody was listening. It's not too late though......it's never to late to change, if you need to, so you can feel the love that we all really want in our lives. Good luck and hugs and mush... Gommy
Now we can feel that we are loved if we are accepted by people we care about. Or that we are respected for the life choices we have made or the successes we have accomplished. But that can also cause envy for some and we don't want that, do we? Or it can come in the form of the good feeling that comes from being with people who actually enjoy your company and who invite you to functions because they really want you there and it isn't because they feel it is a duty or it is socially expected. That good feeling we get when we can feel that someone truly enjoys being with us is so wonderful that we just can't get enough of being with that person or people.
Goms wonders why some people seem to 'get' or 'click' with other people and think they are just the best thing since sliced bread and others don't have the same reaction to the very same person. They can think this person is amazing, awesome, funny, great to spend time with......and other people don't see those same things at all in the very same person. Could it be that the old saying; "birds of a feather, flock together", means that the more you are like a person, the more fun it is to be around them? But then Goms has seen examples of people who are not like each other at all, and they seem to get along famously. Go figure!
Maybe jealousy comes into the process and that jealousy may be that we wish we were more like a certain person and that makes us not want to be around that person because we feel we don't measure up. Have you ever been around a person who you feel disapproves of you? You don't want to be around that person very much, do you? It is much more pleasant to be with people who like you and like your personality and your interests.
Or how about the person who has to control every single aspect of your relationship? That is a real drag. They never seem to see that they are expecting you to do what they want you to do, and all the while they never seem to want to do what you may wish to do. That sort of relationship never feels very good and doesn't get very far...for very understandable reasons!
But back to needing love. In the grand scheme of things, we all just need to feel appreciated. And being loved comes about as close to filling that need as any other emotion, bauble, food, drink, accomplishment or relationship with anything else that we may try to fill up on.
The thing to remember is, and here is the rub, you have to allow yourself to be loved. If you are an arms-length type of person....guess what.....you will have arms-length relationships. You have to take the chance of being hurt and being wrong and being unloved and just try to BE lovable. It really is the truth that 'whatever' you put out there is what you get back in return. It's just that easy folks......There's no argument that you can make to disagree. If you are cold....cold is what will come back to you. If you are selfish....people will show selfishness back to you. If you are spiteful.....well, you get the picture now don't you? Goms keeps harping on the same train of thought...KARMA IS A CHARMA. Reap and sow, reap and sow, reap and sow.........Can't get any clearer or simpler than that peeps.
Another way to look at love and being loved and needing love is that if we love, there is no room for the other nasty or undesirable emotions to come into play. You can't have two opposite emotions at work at the same time. You can't laugh AND cry at the same time, you can't be happy AND mad at the same time, and you can't love AND hate at the same time either. So maybe that is what the song meant.
So, if you want love in your life.....love others. If you want compassion...show compassion. If you want people to feel close to you.....quit being so hard to get close to. Think before you say things that will hurt people. Gommy has had a few life lessons with that one. But as long as we learn from our faux pas......it is not a lesson that was for nothing. And Goms really believes that we are given life lessons all the time. We just don't always 'pass' the lesson and graduate onto the next lesson. So, we keep making the same stupid mistake, over and over and over.......DUH!!!
Also, don't be so quick to strike out at people for doing something that you have done yourself. You know, the old 'Forest for the trees' scenario? Even the Bible says that whatever you want from others, you must give of it yourself....Remember the part about..."Do unto others".... ?
So, this week, try to think of how you are coming across to other people. You may find that if you look inward, you may just see that you can understand why other people find you to be a certain way. Edkhart Tolle says that if you take care of your 'inside you' your outside you and your world around you will take care of itself. Gommy thinks he just may have something there......Have a great week boys and girls. And practice being the way you want others to be to you. It was another very wise man, Gandhi, who said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." I think he was onto something too but nobody was listening. It's not too late though......it's never to late to change, if you need to, so you can feel the love that we all really want in our lives. Good luck and hugs and mush... Gommy
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Walk a Mile in Their Shoes
Gommy was listening to someone recently talking about how this certain someone must have 'asked' for what happened in their life. Now Goms isn't a Rocket Scientist, but I would venture to say that this particular person didn't 'want' to be in the life position they were experiencing at this time in their life.
This person had lost their job and was forced to make some pretty drastic lifestyle changes. They had been humbled into asking for government assistance for the very food they were eating and for help in other areas of living day to day. They were also made to suffer all of the other embarrassments that come with being down on your luck. Did they ask for all that.......I think not.
The incident made Gommy start to think why someone would be so callous to the feelings of someone and their misfortunes. What Goms came up with is that when someone makes fun of someone losing their job, or having to receive assistance to get by with the daily necessities of life....it can only be that the insensitive person must never had to face adversity themselves. When they can think....."Oh, I or my husband/wife would never be downsized.....because we are just too wonderful...", or "That person must be stupid and made a lot of unwise choices with their finances." and so they think, "I am too smart to ever make an unwise decision about MY finances." Watch out people.....Karma is a Charma.....sometimes we are given tests and lessons in our lives so we may experience them as well. It is how you handle adversity that shows your true mettle.
What it really reveals about a person who would be that unkind is that they have never been struck with a downside in their life. The people who do have to suffer humiliation and the admission that they have made mistakes, tend to be much kinder, empathetic and better people for the adversity they have experienced.
It is very easy to be pompous when everything is going great guns and you have prosperity in your corner. It isn't so much fun when the tables turn and everything seems to go bottom up. It is always in the hardest times of our lives that we tend to grow. We usually become spiritual as we search for answers to why. We realize we are the very same people we were when we 'had it all' as when we no longer have a 'pot or a window to throw it out of"....
So the lesson for today from Gommy is................be kind to people who are less fortunate than you. Compassion and empathy are rather nice character traits to try to emulate. We don't always have control of what happens in our lives and when someone seems to need help or a shoulder.....be that magnanimous person who has the ability to listen or help. Have a Blessed day boys and girls and remember to be grateful for whatever you do have....be it a whole bunch or a little, itty bitty. ((*.*))
This person had lost their job and was forced to make some pretty drastic lifestyle changes. They had been humbled into asking for government assistance for the very food they were eating and for help in other areas of living day to day. They were also made to suffer all of the other embarrassments that come with being down on your luck. Did they ask for all that.......I think not.
The incident made Gommy start to think why someone would be so callous to the feelings of someone and their misfortunes. What Goms came up with is that when someone makes fun of someone losing their job, or having to receive assistance to get by with the daily necessities of life....it can only be that the insensitive person must never had to face adversity themselves. When they can think....."Oh, I or my husband/wife would never be downsized.....because we are just too wonderful...", or "That person must be stupid and made a lot of unwise choices with their finances." and so they think, "I am too smart to ever make an unwise decision about MY finances." Watch out people.....Karma is a Charma.....sometimes we are given tests and lessons in our lives so we may experience them as well. It is how you handle adversity that shows your true mettle.
What it really reveals about a person who would be that unkind is that they have never been struck with a downside in their life. The people who do have to suffer humiliation and the admission that they have made mistakes, tend to be much kinder, empathetic and better people for the adversity they have experienced.
It is very easy to be pompous when everything is going great guns and you have prosperity in your corner. It isn't so much fun when the tables turn and everything seems to go bottom up. It is always in the hardest times of our lives that we tend to grow. We usually become spiritual as we search for answers to why. We realize we are the very same people we were when we 'had it all' as when we no longer have a 'pot or a window to throw it out of"....
So the lesson for today from Gommy is................be kind to people who are less fortunate than you. Compassion and empathy are rather nice character traits to try to emulate. We don't always have control of what happens in our lives and when someone seems to need help or a shoulder.....be that magnanimous person who has the ability to listen or help. Have a Blessed day boys and girls and remember to be grateful for whatever you do have....be it a whole bunch or a little, itty bitty. ((*.*))
Friday, May 7, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
This weekend is Mother's Day. Gommys thinks we should all appreciate our mothers every day and not just one weekend a year! But we'll take a day..... rather than no day at all.
Motherhood is the hardest job in the world and it can also the most rewarding job in the world. Stay at home moms may feel less appreciated than the moms who work outside of the home. It's very hard to be a mom and have to work outside of the home, but try staying home every single day with the kids and see how much fun that is! Yes, we love our children, but when there is no 'me' time, it can get on your nerves once in a while.
It is impossible to be the 'perfect' mom, but when people think you have it made to just stay at home every day, it really is a disservice to the mom who does all she does every single day of every single year until the children are raised. And then what??? When the kids are grown and out of the home, where is this mom supposed to pick up her life without the identity of "MOM"? She is longer 'needed' and it is really hard to just stop 'mothering' after doing it for so many years. The transition from mothering to just 'being mom' is very hard for some moms. That can cause heartache and many arguments between moms and their grown children. It is a wise mom who knows when to stop 'mothering' and when to become just the 'mom'.
The stay at home mom should never be made to feel 'less than' just because she doesn't go off to work. It is true that in today's economy, it is a luxury to be able to stay at home with your children....but it isn't all making cookies and coloring books for the mom who does stay home. The mom who goes out to work, still has lunch with other adults and has time to listen to music (grown-up music, that is) on her way to and from work. She has interesting things to talk with her husband about when he gets home, besides which friend came over for a play date. And the days when things just aren't going as planned, it is up to the stay at home Mom to deal with the children, the service repair man, the broken air conditioning, and anything else that can go wrong that does go wrong on certain days. And then there is the guilt that stay at home moms feel about wanting to get back to the careers they have given up to stay at home. Then, Dad sometimes feels he isn't getting all the attention he feels he deserves. But to be honest, how much is left of mom to be a sexy siren at the end of the day? Poor mom just can't win.
Gommy is by no means dissing the mom who works outside the home. Gommy know this mom doesn't have an easy time of it either . She has to get her family and herself ready each day with breakfast, lunch preparations, clean-up, sports activities and doctor and dentist appointments, her own work schedule, on and on and etc. And heaven forbid one of the kids is sick....what do you do with a sick child when you have career demands? It never seems to fall on Dad. Is Dad ever expected to stay at home at these times? I think this may happen rarely and it certainly doesn't seem to be the norm. Moms in general are heroines and don't nearly get the thanks they deserve.
And isn't it usually the Mom who gets blamed for anything that went wrong in the upbringing of the children? Mom is the one who is stereotyped as the one who makes her grown children need to see a psychiatrist.....For heaven's sake.....she was doing it all and giving her all and she may have made a mistake or two during all those years she was trying to do her best...give her a break.
As to those mothers who are no longer with us. We realize just how much we miss our mothers with every passing year we are without them. We can no longer just pick up the phone to say hello and 'I love you". We can't ask them what that childhood friend's name is that we just aren't able to recall, or that memory about your childhood that is a bit fuzzy and you wish mom could remind you about it. She was the one you could always ask advice from and know she was on your side each and every time. Because your mother is just about the best friend you could ever have or will ever have in your lifetime. She is the one person you can tell anything to and she will still love you......scabs, scars, faults and all....she is the one who has unconditional love for you....NO MATTER WHAT!! Gommy has often said that even mothers of serial killers love them. That is the kind of love you get from your mother.
So Moms out there and Moms not with us any more.....we love you and we appreciate all you did and all you do for us. We may not say it often enough.....but you are our heroine. You should be proud of being "the everything in the world we could ever need" to make our lives run smoother and who made us always feel loved. Thanks for being the taxi driver, the tutor, the nursemaid, the teacher, the cook, the maid, the confidant, and when we got older.....our BEST FRIEND. I love and miss you to my MOM......and to all the other moms out there....Gommy hopes you have a very special and wonderful Mother's Day...Hugs, Gommy
Motherhood is the hardest job in the world and it can also the most rewarding job in the world. Stay at home moms may feel less appreciated than the moms who work outside of the home. It's very hard to be a mom and have to work outside of the home, but try staying home every single day with the kids and see how much fun that is! Yes, we love our children, but when there is no 'me' time, it can get on your nerves once in a while.
It is impossible to be the 'perfect' mom, but when people think you have it made to just stay at home every day, it really is a disservice to the mom who does all she does every single day of every single year until the children are raised. And then what??? When the kids are grown and out of the home, where is this mom supposed to pick up her life without the identity of "MOM"? She is longer 'needed' and it is really hard to just stop 'mothering' after doing it for so many years. The transition from mothering to just 'being mom' is very hard for some moms. That can cause heartache and many arguments between moms and their grown children. It is a wise mom who knows when to stop 'mothering' and when to become just the 'mom'.
The stay at home mom should never be made to feel 'less than' just because she doesn't go off to work. It is true that in today's economy, it is a luxury to be able to stay at home with your children....but it isn't all making cookies and coloring books for the mom who does stay home. The mom who goes out to work, still has lunch with other adults and has time to listen to music (grown-up music, that is) on her way to and from work. She has interesting things to talk with her husband about when he gets home, besides which friend came over for a play date. And the days when things just aren't going as planned, it is up to the stay at home Mom to deal with the children, the service repair man, the broken air conditioning, and anything else that can go wrong that does go wrong on certain days. And then there is the guilt that stay at home moms feel about wanting to get back to the careers they have given up to stay at home. Then, Dad sometimes feels he isn't getting all the attention he feels he deserves. But to be honest, how much is left of mom to be a sexy siren at the end of the day? Poor mom just can't win.
Gommy is by no means dissing the mom who works outside the home. Gommy know this mom doesn't have an easy time of it either . She has to get her family and herself ready each day with breakfast, lunch preparations, clean-up, sports activities and doctor and dentist appointments, her own work schedule, on and on and etc. And heaven forbid one of the kids is sick....what do you do with a sick child when you have career demands? It never seems to fall on Dad. Is Dad ever expected to stay at home at these times? I think this may happen rarely and it certainly doesn't seem to be the norm. Moms in general are heroines and don't nearly get the thanks they deserve.
And isn't it usually the Mom who gets blamed for anything that went wrong in the upbringing of the children? Mom is the one who is stereotyped as the one who makes her grown children need to see a psychiatrist.....For heaven's sake.....she was doing it all and giving her all and she may have made a mistake or two during all those years she was trying to do her best...give her a break.
As to those mothers who are no longer with us. We realize just how much we miss our mothers with every passing year we are without them. We can no longer just pick up the phone to say hello and 'I love you". We can't ask them what that childhood friend's name is that we just aren't able to recall, or that memory about your childhood that is a bit fuzzy and you wish mom could remind you about it. She was the one you could always ask advice from and know she was on your side each and every time. Because your mother is just about the best friend you could ever have or will ever have in your lifetime. She is the one person you can tell anything to and she will still love you......scabs, scars, faults and all....she is the one who has unconditional love for you....NO MATTER WHAT!! Gommy has often said that even mothers of serial killers love them. That is the kind of love you get from your mother.
So Moms out there and Moms not with us any more.....we love you and we appreciate all you did and all you do for us. We may not say it often enough.....but you are our heroine. You should be proud of being "the everything in the world we could ever need" to make our lives run smoother and who made us always feel loved. Thanks for being the taxi driver, the tutor, the nursemaid, the teacher, the cook, the maid, the confidant, and when we got older.....our BEST FRIEND. I love and miss you to my MOM......and to all the other moms out there....Gommy hopes you have a very special and wonderful Mother's Day...Hugs, Gommy
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover!
Just when Gommy thought the moving bug was over and finished for Grandpa and me.....another move was looming in our future. The whole experience has brought to mind the adage, "You can't judge a book by it's cover". If you were to look at the view from our last apartment on the intracoastal, you would think, "Why in the world would they ever want to move from that Paradise!!!" Wellllll, let Goms tell you why.
When Grandpa and I moved in to our beautiful little beach bungalow, we thought that we had moved for the very last time. The view was gorgeous, it was only a block from the beach and it was just what we had envisioned living in for our 'Golden Years.' Then, the wacka-doodles started showing up and making themselves evident. There was late night prowlings and noises so you couldn't sleep, there were fights loud enough to have the police called in the wee hours of the night, the palmetto bugs were multiplying faster than rabbits ( no matter how much bug spray was used and having to be inhaled by us!), there was the problem with parking, i.e. if it rained, you would have to wade to your car in ankle deep run off water, to go to work. Then, just when it looked like the loonies upstairs from us were gone (evicted actually) and the landlord promised (apparently through her lying teeth) that she would 'screen' the next tenants....a REAL and certifiable looney-tunes moved in the very same upstairs apartment. This time, she was an alcoholic who had many personality disorders and reminded Goms of the movie 'Sybil'. Yikes.....what happened to our 'Golden Years'? There seemed to be some tarnishing of the 'gold' going on for sure.....
Grandpa works VERY hard and he needs his rest to be able to do his very demanding job as well as he does....so we started looking for another place to live. In the meantime, Grandpa has been so blessed with the many tournaments he has booked at his work, that he needed a 'lovely assistant' to help him in the daily details and correspondence that he was becoming inundated and covered up with. Voila'...Gommy to the rescue. So, Grandpas' place of work hired Gommy to be Grandpas' assistant. Perfect! No more working late nights, weekends and holidays. And it turns out, that we found an apartment right behind the golf course and we can WALK to work. How perfect is that?
Yes, we will miss the beach being so close and Grandpa will miss having his cigar while he sat on the dock of the intracoastal, while he watched how the 'other people live' going by on their Yachts.....but the peace and quiet and the closeness to our work well make up for it. And we can always drive the nine miles to the beach now can't we.....no whining here. And as an added bonus, the apartment complex has a jacuzzi that Grandpa just loves to sit in after a hard days work.
So, just remember, that even though the grass isn't always greener on the other side, sometimes a picturesque setting isn't always as serene as it appears to others, on the side you are on either. The same holds true for people. You may think that a certain person is all put together and you wish you were more like them or their family, but more often, the truth of the matter is, they are just holding on by the skin of their teeth and you are probably much better off than they are. That is the old 'book-cover' analogy again. Don't automatically assume someone is better, prettier, richer, happier, etc. than you. They may just be acting, emphasis on 'acting' as if they were better off. And the more someone 'tries' to 'act' as if they are better than you....that is a pretty good indicator that they probably are not.
So, here's to Grandpa and Goms moving to another home and hoping this will be the very last move....AGAIN! From Gommy's lips to God's ears.....In the meantime, we will just enjoy our new place and hope the wacka-doodles don't show up again. Have a great day boys and girls....Be happy and be true to yourselves. Hugs and Mush....Goms
When Grandpa and I moved in to our beautiful little beach bungalow, we thought that we had moved for the very last time. The view was gorgeous, it was only a block from the beach and it was just what we had envisioned living in for our 'Golden Years.' Then, the wacka-doodles started showing up and making themselves evident. There was late night prowlings and noises so you couldn't sleep, there were fights loud enough to have the police called in the wee hours of the night, the palmetto bugs were multiplying faster than rabbits ( no matter how much bug spray was used and having to be inhaled by us!), there was the problem with parking, i.e. if it rained, you would have to wade to your car in ankle deep run off water, to go to work. Then, just when it looked like the loonies upstairs from us were gone (evicted actually) and the landlord promised (apparently through her lying teeth) that she would 'screen' the next tenants....a REAL and certifiable looney-tunes moved in the very same upstairs apartment. This time, she was an alcoholic who had many personality disorders and reminded Goms of the movie 'Sybil'. Yikes.....what happened to our 'Golden Years'? There seemed to be some tarnishing of the 'gold' going on for sure.....
Grandpa works VERY hard and he needs his rest to be able to do his very demanding job as well as he does....so we started looking for another place to live. In the meantime, Grandpa has been so blessed with the many tournaments he has booked at his work, that he needed a 'lovely assistant' to help him in the daily details and correspondence that he was becoming inundated and covered up with. Voila'...Gommy to the rescue. So, Grandpas' place of work hired Gommy to be Grandpas' assistant. Perfect! No more working late nights, weekends and holidays. And it turns out, that we found an apartment right behind the golf course and we can WALK to work. How perfect is that?
Yes, we will miss the beach being so close and Grandpa will miss having his cigar while he sat on the dock of the intracoastal, while he watched how the 'other people live' going by on their Yachts.....but the peace and quiet and the closeness to our work well make up for it. And we can always drive the nine miles to the beach now can't we.....no whining here. And as an added bonus, the apartment complex has a jacuzzi that Grandpa just loves to sit in after a hard days work.
So, just remember, that even though the grass isn't always greener on the other side, sometimes a picturesque setting isn't always as serene as it appears to others, on the side you are on either. The same holds true for people. You may think that a certain person is all put together and you wish you were more like them or their family, but more often, the truth of the matter is, they are just holding on by the skin of their teeth and you are probably much better off than they are. That is the old 'book-cover' analogy again. Don't automatically assume someone is better, prettier, richer, happier, etc. than you. They may just be acting, emphasis on 'acting' as if they were better off. And the more someone 'tries' to 'act' as if they are better than you....that is a pretty good indicator that they probably are not.
So, here's to Grandpa and Goms moving to another home and hoping this will be the very last move....AGAIN! From Gommy's lips to God's ears.....In the meantime, we will just enjoy our new place and hope the wacka-doodles don't show up again. Have a great day boys and girls....Be happy and be true to yourselves. Hugs and Mush....Goms
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Trust or not to Trust
Gommy has found that we are never too old to learn.....I just hope the saying, "You can't teach an old Gommy new tricks" doesn't apply. It never ceases to amaze Goms how some people can be so deceitful and how other people cannot see through them. Goms seems to have the curse of seeing through the most cunning or most blatant fake and it causes Goms' stomach to turn at times.
Have you ever noticed how people act differently depending who is around? Like, they act all 'righty-tighty' when the boss is around and don't give a minutes worth of work for the poor boss when the bosses aren't around. I guess that should fall under the category of, "Shame on the boss for not checking up on the slouches!".
Or they act as if they wouldn't say a mean thing about anyone and they are the exact ones you should never turn your back on. My father used to say, "A leopard doesn't change it's spots.", so if you wait and watch, you can usually 'catch' someone with their true personality coming out at inappropriate times.
Then there is the person who 'says' they are a friend of someone but doesn't truly give a good whip about that 'friend' because they tell you all sorts of things about the 'friend' and the 'friends' family or the 'friends' husband, that if it gets out, could ruin the friend her family and her marriage.
Goms has found that the reason most people are willing to make others look bad, just so they can make themselves look better, is that they don't have good self-esteem themselves, so they try to act like they know all the 'dirt' on someone and they tell it to make it look as if they have the ideal life. NOT....It is actually just the opposite. They have a miserable life and just want some company. Hence the sage adage..."Misery loves company."
People who feel inferior in their intelligence are most often the ones who are the loudest, the brashest, and are mean in their everyday lives. They just can't live with anyone else being happy, so they just stir the pot and try to make everyone else miserable. How sad.
But the good thing, is that we are in control of allowing or not allowing the evil ones to ruin your day your life or your family. Just stay away from them and let time show the type of person they are. They can't hide forever and it is only a matter of time before their true colors show.
Always try to remember that there is usually more than one side to a story. Try to figure out what motives are involved when someone is trying to manipulate a situation. You will usually find that the person who is the manipulator has a hidden agenda. Mostly, it is to cover up their own insecurities and make people think they are all that and a bag of chips.
The worse kind of person in Goms' book is the one that stabs you in the back just to stay on the right side of someone else. Like the saying...."Knowing which side of your bread is buttered on." But remember that you don't have to be a turncoat to stay on someones' good side. Saying nothing is better than betrayal. You should want to do what is right and be able to look yourself in the mirror each day.
So peeps, please stay true to yourself and to your friends and family. Sadly, it is becoming a lost character trait anymore. Good character is something that cannot be bought. It is earned and it only takes a lapse in judgement to lose it and it is very hard to regain.
Have a great day and keep working on being a good friend, family member, mother, father, child, citizen and just all around good person. It is a process and well worth the effort.
Have you ever noticed how people act differently depending who is around? Like, they act all 'righty-tighty' when the boss is around and don't give a minutes worth of work for the poor boss when the bosses aren't around. I guess that should fall under the category of, "Shame on the boss for not checking up on the slouches!".
Or they act as if they wouldn't say a mean thing about anyone and they are the exact ones you should never turn your back on. My father used to say, "A leopard doesn't change it's spots.", so if you wait and watch, you can usually 'catch' someone with their true personality coming out at inappropriate times.
Then there is the person who 'says' they are a friend of someone but doesn't truly give a good whip about that 'friend' because they tell you all sorts of things about the 'friend' and the 'friends' family or the 'friends' husband, that if it gets out, could ruin the friend her family and her marriage.
Goms has found that the reason most people are willing to make others look bad, just so they can make themselves look better, is that they don't have good self-esteem themselves, so they try to act like they know all the 'dirt' on someone and they tell it to make it look as if they have the ideal life. NOT....It is actually just the opposite. They have a miserable life and just want some company. Hence the sage adage..."Misery loves company."
People who feel inferior in their intelligence are most often the ones who are the loudest, the brashest, and are mean in their everyday lives. They just can't live with anyone else being happy, so they just stir the pot and try to make everyone else miserable. How sad.
But the good thing, is that we are in control of allowing or not allowing the evil ones to ruin your day your life or your family. Just stay away from them and let time show the type of person they are. They can't hide forever and it is only a matter of time before their true colors show.
Always try to remember that there is usually more than one side to a story. Try to figure out what motives are involved when someone is trying to manipulate a situation. You will usually find that the person who is the manipulator has a hidden agenda. Mostly, it is to cover up their own insecurities and make people think they are all that and a bag of chips.
The worse kind of person in Goms' book is the one that stabs you in the back just to stay on the right side of someone else. Like the saying...."Knowing which side of your bread is buttered on." But remember that you don't have to be a turncoat to stay on someones' good side. Saying nothing is better than betrayal. You should want to do what is right and be able to look yourself in the mirror each day.
So peeps, please stay true to yourself and to your friends and family. Sadly, it is becoming a lost character trait anymore. Good character is something that cannot be bought. It is earned and it only takes a lapse in judgement to lose it and it is very hard to regain.
Have a great day and keep working on being a good friend, family member, mother, father, child, citizen and just all around good person. It is a process and well worth the effort.
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