Here we are and it is already 'hump-day'.....you know, Wednesday. It won't be long now until Santa Claus arrives at the homes of all of the 'believers' and good little boys and girls (and a few big boys and girls). You better watch out, you better not pout, you better not lie.... Goms is telling you why.......but you already know the ending don't you???
Goms was just at the beach....I know---how lucky is Goms???....but while I was basking in the sun and enjoying the beach sounds and watching everyone else enjoying their beach day too.....it got Goms to thinking that I was enjoying their time together vicariously.....The definition of 'vicarious' is; a) indirectly, in, by or through a substitute, b) felt or undergone as if one were taking part in the experience or feelings of another, i.e. 'she enjoyed the wedding vicariously'.
But Goms thinks we all live parts of our lives all the time vicariously. And not just enjoying things through other people's lives. We can also live our past vicariously through our own eyes by observing our children's lives. We remember each scenario and stage as our children go through them with their own children. And when our children do have children, we almost enjoy it more than our own experience because we have the luxury of seeing how important each step and phase is and how fleeting the good times swept by us when we were raising our children. And we were so caught up in the day to day responsibilites that we didn't enjoy it as much as we should have. We can now deliberately slow down and savor each moment we spend with our children and their children. We can see our children doing the same things sometimes and making the same mistakes we made.....but it is best to just 'zip' it and let them realize it on their own and in their own timeframe, the same way we have.
We can live vicariously by watching a TV series with the same people in them each week, that we can almost feel they are a part of our lives. We live vicariously each time we 'see how the other half lives' on the numerous reality shows that are so popular now. We see the rappers 'crib' with all the lavish bells and whistles.....we see the 'housewives of this town or that city' and how they spend their time and money, we see how werewolves and vampires and English boys with horned-rimmed glasses live in their parts of the world. That is all vicarious-ness.
When and if we are lucky enough to mature spiritually and become 'conscious' of our surroundings and how everything and everyone affects everyone and everything else, we have finally begun to see the forest THROUGH the trees. And when that does happen...there is no turning back. You just become more 'conscious' every day and it is so wonderful that you feel you have this great big secret that no one else can touch. I think they call that 'enlightenment' or spiritual awakening, or awareness and understanding. Whatever it is.....it is the BEST!!!
But it is so much easier to see the faults and mistakes other people make than the ones we make ourselves. What does the Bible say about that in Matthew 7:3? ......"Why do you look at the speck of dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Because it is easy to see the faults and mistakes other people make because we have probably already made them and we know what is coming. And the mistakes we are now making, haven't been proven to us to be wrong as yet. No one can tell you that you are about to make a mistake because we only learn from actually making the mistake ourselves. When someone else is having a hard time, you feel sympathy for them but when you have already made the same mistake and been through the hard time.....then you feel empathy for them.
So Goms advice for everyone today is to live and let live. No one is going to listen to you anyway if you try to give them a 'heads-up'. The temptation to do something that they think will be so wonderful will overrule anything someone else is trying to keep them from doing. Or if they are just being stubborn about something and you can see where it is leading.....leave them be and let them discover how it affects them and everyone else later. Just hope that no one gets hurt too much along the way and that they will eventually become 'conscious' of how they are affecting the people around them by their behavior. Remember that the definition of selfishness is....."not living as one wishes to live.....it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
In the end, it turns out that 'we' are the only ones in charge of our lives and 'we' are ultimately the only ones who will reap the rewards, or rue the day, or suffer the consequences of the choices that we did make in every scenario of our time here on the planet. So choose wisely friends and boys and girls. It's your own life and your future that you are shaping here. Hope it turns out like you hoped and you thought it would. Hugs and Mush - Gommy ((*>*))
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Grace
Good morning all. This Sunday, Gommy was thinking about 'grace'. Grace can mean; a sanctification by God, a prayer said before a meal, the style with which we display ourselves, elegance and beauty of movement or expression...... or the victor's 'grace' in treating the vanquished. This is an example of showing a disposition to kindness and compassion.
The reason Goms started thinking about 'grace' is that the almighty football team of the University of Florida lost a heartbreaking and very important game last night. Now, anyone who knows Grandpa Mike, knows he is a die-hard Gator fan and he talks the talk about the team any time he gets the chance. And people from all over the country called Grandpa last night to 'needle' him about the loss. But what Goms was seeing was 'grace' being displayed by Grandpa just by the virtue of his admission that the other team was the victor last night and that arguing the point was moot. Being a good loser is not the usual way most people react to the reality of losing. They sometimes blame x,y,or z or they call 'foul' on the other side or on the referees or they become nasty and are mean inwardly and outwardly.....some even turn against the very team they have adored all year! But not Grandpa....Gommy heard Grandpa Mike repeatedly say to the callers, "Yup...they just got whooped. Alabama was the better team last night." That is grace folks....
That got Gommy to thinking about how we could all be a bit more graceful in our everyday lives. When someone comes into your workplace and is angry......treating them with grace diffuses the animosity immediately. Now, Goms isn't saying they will suddenly turn into a pussy-cat....but the atmosphere takes on a different energy when you don't become the 'wall' to their abuse. Let it go right through you as if you were transparent and be as nice as you can muster.....believe Goms......it works.
The same holds true in any personal relationship. We're talking about any interaction occurring between a parent to a child, to a romantic or casual association, with friend-to-friend episodes, in-law to in-laws or just everyday social involvements. If there is a disruptive personality involved in your life, arguing and becoming 'like' that person just escalates the situation. Each confrontation can be diffused by allowing the other person to spout off while you stay calm and collected. It eventually reveals to the 'screamer' that they are the whack-a-doodles. But beware....sometimes that makes the whack-a-doodle just go nuttier because they have 'exposed' their crazy side and they don't know what to do with that part of them, now that it is out. But if you remain calm, they will return to their sanity in time. Just keep an eye out for any heavy objects that may be flung in your direction....
So, everyone out there in blogland that is a Gator fan......be graceful when you get back to work tomorrow and some not-so-graceful person just wants to get in your face and rub it in about your team losing......remember to stay calm and say, "Yup......they just got whooped by the better team last night." It works....I promise.
Goms hopes everyone has a 'graceful' week and tries out being 'graceful' for themselves and everyone around them......it actually works in every area of your lives. Hugs and mush, Gommy
The reason Goms started thinking about 'grace' is that the almighty football team of the University of Florida lost a heartbreaking and very important game last night. Now, anyone who knows Grandpa Mike, knows he is a die-hard Gator fan and he talks the talk about the team any time he gets the chance. And people from all over the country called Grandpa last night to 'needle' him about the loss. But what Goms was seeing was 'grace' being displayed by Grandpa just by the virtue of his admission that the other team was the victor last night and that arguing the point was moot. Being a good loser is not the usual way most people react to the reality of losing. They sometimes blame x,y,or z or they call 'foul' on the other side or on the referees or they become nasty and are mean inwardly and outwardly.....some even turn against the very team they have adored all year! But not Grandpa....Gommy heard Grandpa Mike repeatedly say to the callers, "Yup...they just got whooped. Alabama was the better team last night." That is grace folks....
That got Gommy to thinking about how we could all be a bit more graceful in our everyday lives. When someone comes into your workplace and is angry......treating them with grace diffuses the animosity immediately. Now, Goms isn't saying they will suddenly turn into a pussy-cat....but the atmosphere takes on a different energy when you don't become the 'wall' to their abuse. Let it go right through you as if you were transparent and be as nice as you can muster.....believe Goms......it works.
The same holds true in any personal relationship. We're talking about any interaction occurring between a parent to a child, to a romantic or casual association, with friend-to-friend episodes, in-law to in-laws or just everyday social involvements. If there is a disruptive personality involved in your life, arguing and becoming 'like' that person just escalates the situation. Each confrontation can be diffused by allowing the other person to spout off while you stay calm and collected. It eventually reveals to the 'screamer' that they are the whack-a-doodles. But beware....sometimes that makes the whack-a-doodle just go nuttier because they have 'exposed' their crazy side and they don't know what to do with that part of them, now that it is out. But if you remain calm, they will return to their sanity in time. Just keep an eye out for any heavy objects that may be flung in your direction....
So, everyone out there in blogland that is a Gator fan......be graceful when you get back to work tomorrow and some not-so-graceful person just wants to get in your face and rub it in about your team losing......remember to stay calm and say, "Yup......they just got whooped by the better team last night." It works....I promise.
Goms hopes everyone has a 'graceful' week and tries out being 'graceful' for themselves and everyone around them......it actually works in every area of your lives. Hugs and mush, Gommy
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Are You 'User Friendly'????
Good Sunday all.........Gommy must be some sort of 'thought magnet' because terms, words, phrases and terminology frequently pop out for Goms and that starts the old brain to ponder. This morning, the terminology 'User-Friendly' popped out for Goms. The definition of user -friendly is as follows; 1) the ease with which people can employ a certain tool or other human- made objects in order to obtain a certain goal, and 2) the study of the principles behind an object's perceived efficiency or elegance.
Gommy read the definition and immediately translated the first definition to mean, 'humans making humans'.... (as in our offspring being human-made) and the second definition to mean humans in general being 'the perceived efficiency or elegance' of those human-made offspring.
Parenting is a 'crap-roll' for some and a very thoughtful plan for others. Those parents that just roll the dice with their parenting and let the 'chips fall where they may', often end up with a messed-up child with a messed-up childhood. Those parents who plan the births of their children and give much thought to raising good citizens with good self-esteem, usually end up with a well adjusted child (and one who has attained elegance), who can navigate the world that is waiting for them.
Goms then started to wonder how many of us are really 'user-friendly' in our every day lives. Are we easy to get along with? Do we say what we mean and keep our word when we give it so we can be 'read' the way we intended? Are we generous in our hearts? Do we feel for those who have less than us? Are we kind to those who we come in contact with?
Then Goms thought, how 'user-friendly' are we with the gifts we are given, such as our very lives, or our ability to use the knowledge we are given, or how generous we are with those who don't have as much as we do? Then Bill and Melinda Gates came to mind. When we think of generous people, the Gates' pop out in a big way. They are the richest people in the USA and their philanthropy is HUGE. They 'get it' that they should give back for all they have been given. You hear people say all the time, "Why should we help x, y or z......they aren't my responsibility?" But the Gates' surely and thankfully don't think that way. They could just sit back and enjoy all their billions of dollars and not worry for a minute about the rest of us, but they don't. They give, give, give all the time to charities in our country and to developing countries who need medical treatment and for vaccines for third world countries so they aren't dying by the thousands because they don't have the knowledge to save their lives or the lives of their children.
The pastor and author Rick Warren, who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life", says that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. The words 'miser' and 'misery' come from the same root word. Think about it......
In the generosity area of our lives, it isn't so much the amount we give as the regularity with which we give. Everyone seems to be generous during the holidays....but that is 'impulse generosity'. Real generosity is when we give on a regular basis and not just when there is an urgent need. It would be a good thing if we all could become 'habitual givers'..... We also must remember that we cannot choose who we are good to or decide who should be the beneficiaries of 'goodness'. If we are truly good Christians.....shouldn't we then love ALL people? Remember....hate is not a family value. Most of us have much more than we could ever use and if that is so, it is 'expected' of us to do more than those who 'have not'. If you are a Bible reader, look up Luke 12:48 and see that is reads; "For unto whomsoever much is given, much will be required." What that means is that the more we are given, be it knowledge or gifts, the more useful we should be in the world. So, in proportion to what has been entrusted to us, the greater improvements of those gifts is expected from us. If you need another reference, look up Deuteronomy 15:7 - it reads, "If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother." That thought process should work even if anyone is not a Christian. Goms always says that no matter what your belief, if we could all just be 'Christ-like' in how we live our lives.....we would all be the better for it.
So, here's to beginning the week with charity in our hearts and begin to elegantly be more 'user-friendly' in how we are with our fellow human beings. Let's begin to explore our broader value as human beings and stop demonizing our differences. We can be so much more than we are. It's worth the attempt....Have a great week boys and girls.....and thank you God for all your Blessings. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Gommy read the definition and immediately translated the first definition to mean, 'humans making humans'.... (as in our offspring being human-made) and the second definition to mean humans in general being 'the perceived efficiency or elegance' of those human-made offspring.
Parenting is a 'crap-roll' for some and a very thoughtful plan for others. Those parents that just roll the dice with their parenting and let the 'chips fall where they may', often end up with a messed-up child with a messed-up childhood. Those parents who plan the births of their children and give much thought to raising good citizens with good self-esteem, usually end up with a well adjusted child (and one who has attained elegance), who can navigate the world that is waiting for them.
Goms then started to wonder how many of us are really 'user-friendly' in our every day lives. Are we easy to get along with? Do we say what we mean and keep our word when we give it so we can be 'read' the way we intended? Are we generous in our hearts? Do we feel for those who have less than us? Are we kind to those who we come in contact with?
Then Goms thought, how 'user-friendly' are we with the gifts we are given, such as our very lives, or our ability to use the knowledge we are given, or how generous we are with those who don't have as much as we do? Then Bill and Melinda Gates came to mind. When we think of generous people, the Gates' pop out in a big way. They are the richest people in the USA and their philanthropy is HUGE. They 'get it' that they should give back for all they have been given. You hear people say all the time, "Why should we help x, y or z......they aren't my responsibility?" But the Gates' surely and thankfully don't think that way. They could just sit back and enjoy all their billions of dollars and not worry for a minute about the rest of us, but they don't. They give, give, give all the time to charities in our country and to developing countries who need medical treatment and for vaccines for third world countries so they aren't dying by the thousands because they don't have the knowledge to save their lives or the lives of their children.
The pastor and author Rick Warren, who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life", says that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. The words 'miser' and 'misery' come from the same root word. Think about it......
In the generosity area of our lives, it isn't so much the amount we give as the regularity with which we give. Everyone seems to be generous during the holidays....but that is 'impulse generosity'. Real generosity is when we give on a regular basis and not just when there is an urgent need. It would be a good thing if we all could become 'habitual givers'..... We also must remember that we cannot choose who we are good to or decide who should be the beneficiaries of 'goodness'. If we are truly good Christians.....shouldn't we then love ALL people? Remember....hate is not a family value. Most of us have much more than we could ever use and if that is so, it is 'expected' of us to do more than those who 'have not'. If you are a Bible reader, look up Luke 12:48 and see that is reads; "For unto whomsoever much is given, much will be required." What that means is that the more we are given, be it knowledge or gifts, the more useful we should be in the world. So, in proportion to what has been entrusted to us, the greater improvements of those gifts is expected from us. If you need another reference, look up Deuteronomy 15:7 - it reads, "If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother." That thought process should work even if anyone is not a Christian. Goms always says that no matter what your belief, if we could all just be 'Christ-like' in how we live our lives.....we would all be the better for it.
So, here's to beginning the week with charity in our hearts and begin to elegantly be more 'user-friendly' in how we are with our fellow human beings. Let's begin to explore our broader value as human beings and stop demonizing our differences. We can be so much more than we are. It's worth the attempt....Have a great week boys and girls.....and thank you God for all your Blessings. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Saturday, November 28, 2009
'Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go...'
Goms title is a little play on the Christmas song, "Let it Snow'...(just in case you didn't get the irony). We have just enjoyed our Thanksgiving Day festivities and Goms was wondering how everyone in families all across the country did with the yearly get-together this time. Each year we hear of wonderful times spent with friends and family but we also hear dreadful stories of 'times gone bad' at these annual functions. They even make movies about the 'dysfunctional family' holiday fiasco's!
Goms hopes all went well but in case it didn't, Goms will give a few things to think about before the next biggie holiday approaches.....Christmas.....for some, Chanukah for some and Kwanza for others. It seems that childhood baggage is usually the culprit when it comes to the hostilities that ensue and disrupt what was supposed to be a beautiful time together. Either brother Jim still resents brother Bob for being the 'favorite', or sister Sue still can't get over sister Mary having to always be right. Or Mom still has to tell us what we should be doing or what we have done wrong with the kids, (in her estimation anyway.) Dad was probably his usual non-committal self who just wanted to eat and then watch football.
On the 'rightness' issue, it turns out that some people just 'have' to be right, no matter what.... there just isn't any 'in between' with them. Those people are the 'black OR white' folks. For the other people on the opposite side of the discussion, who have those same issues.....it isn't so pleasant to be in the middle of the 'this ain't going anywhere' argument.
Some people don't seem to have a problem with agreeing to disagree because they can clearly live with a gray area. Everyone has their own 'set-point' of emotions, be it; anxiety, neatness, moodiness, etc. That is the 'biology' of being right. On the 'psychology' side of the coin is the reality that when you just can't be wrong and you have to defend your 'rightness' to the end.....it is actually your self-esteem that you are defending and a realization that you want 'control' over yourself and your emotions. We 'become' controlling from experiences in our childhood. Were our parents always fighting? Did you feel they were going to break up and you didn't know what to do with that emotion? Did Mom or Dad really love Susie more than me? Was I pretty or handsome enough? If you didn't like your 'world' at that developmental stage, you started trying to 'control' or change the outcome for yourself so you could be comfortable 'with' that emotion.
Goms thinks the people who didn't have many struggles as a child seem to do better with being okay with not being 'right' all the time. If you were an only child, at least you didn't have the sibling rivalry to contend with. But, you could face some new challenge later in life that you weren't prepared for that forces you to become controlling. Like, say a husband that is controlling and since you aren't used to 'sharing'....you start to control your surroundings with being a clean freak or some other malady. But, sooner or later, you are going to 'blowwwww' if you just keep everything inside.
But the good news is that you don't have to stay in either role forever. You don't have to be the one that is always giving in or the one that is being the 'relationship bully'. If you are the bully, you should ask yourself......"how is this working out for me?" If you have any INsight....you may just want to temper your bulliness before you push everyone away. Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be happy? Conversely, if you are the 'Doris-Doormat', you may want to speak up about how you don't appreciate having to give in to every issue that comes up.
Now, if you are in a 'fix my self-mode' sort of mind-frame....you can start using your 'filter' when issues come up (and they will come up) and you can refrain from immediately jumping in to 'prove' you are right. Even old dogs can learn new tricks if we really WANT to. And it won't be easy if you are the Doris Doormat to be heard at first either. People have been conditioned to seeing you as not 'having' and opinion. You will probably have to think of ways to interject what you are feeling that don't make the bully act in a reflexive and defensive way. You could suggest rephrasing the statement your partner (or relative) said because you didn't understand what they said or maybe say something like, "I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Maybe we aren't hearing what either of us is really saying."
When we can begin to realize that the reaction we receive from someone is really part 'their' emotional stuff and part 'our' emotional stuff and that we are just reliving the trauma that we never learned how to compartmentalize.....we will be all the better for understanding where everyone (including ourselves) is coming from!!!!!
So there, maybe this will help to make the Christmas or Chaunakah or Kwanza or any other faith get togethers a little less stressful for those that dread the annual festivities with family. For everyone else who does enjoy the holidays......BRING IT ON!!!! Let the fun begin......It really is much more pleasant to enjoy the time together and not just wish we could. Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
Goms hopes all went well but in case it didn't, Goms will give a few things to think about before the next biggie holiday approaches.....Christmas.....for some, Chanukah for some and Kwanza for others. It seems that childhood baggage is usually the culprit when it comes to the hostilities that ensue and disrupt what was supposed to be a beautiful time together. Either brother Jim still resents brother Bob for being the 'favorite', or sister Sue still can't get over sister Mary having to always be right. Or Mom still has to tell us what we should be doing or what we have done wrong with the kids, (in her estimation anyway.) Dad was probably his usual non-committal self who just wanted to eat and then watch football.
On the 'rightness' issue, it turns out that some people just 'have' to be right, no matter what.... there just isn't any 'in between' with them. Those people are the 'black OR white' folks. For the other people on the opposite side of the discussion, who have those same issues.....it isn't so pleasant to be in the middle of the 'this ain't going anywhere' argument.
Some people don't seem to have a problem with agreeing to disagree because they can clearly live with a gray area. Everyone has their own 'set-point' of emotions, be it; anxiety, neatness, moodiness, etc. That is the 'biology' of being right. On the 'psychology' side of the coin is the reality that when you just can't be wrong and you have to defend your 'rightness' to the end.....it is actually your self-esteem that you are defending and a realization that you want 'control' over yourself and your emotions. We 'become' controlling from experiences in our childhood. Were our parents always fighting? Did you feel they were going to break up and you didn't know what to do with that emotion? Did Mom or Dad really love Susie more than me? Was I pretty or handsome enough? If you didn't like your 'world' at that developmental stage, you started trying to 'control' or change the outcome for yourself so you could be comfortable 'with' that emotion.
Goms thinks the people who didn't have many struggles as a child seem to do better with being okay with not being 'right' all the time. If you were an only child, at least you didn't have the sibling rivalry to contend with. But, you could face some new challenge later in life that you weren't prepared for that forces you to become controlling. Like, say a husband that is controlling and since you aren't used to 'sharing'....you start to control your surroundings with being a clean freak or some other malady. But, sooner or later, you are going to 'blowwwww' if you just keep everything inside.
But the good news is that you don't have to stay in either role forever. You don't have to be the one that is always giving in or the one that is being the 'relationship bully'. If you are the bully, you should ask yourself......"how is this working out for me?" If you have any INsight....you may just want to temper your bulliness before you push everyone away. Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be happy? Conversely, if you are the 'Doris-Doormat', you may want to speak up about how you don't appreciate having to give in to every issue that comes up.
Now, if you are in a 'fix my self-mode' sort of mind-frame....you can start using your 'filter' when issues come up (and they will come up) and you can refrain from immediately jumping in to 'prove' you are right. Even old dogs can learn new tricks if we really WANT to. And it won't be easy if you are the Doris Doormat to be heard at first either. People have been conditioned to seeing you as not 'having' and opinion. You will probably have to think of ways to interject what you are feeling that don't make the bully act in a reflexive and defensive way. You could suggest rephrasing the statement your partner (or relative) said because you didn't understand what they said or maybe say something like, "I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Maybe we aren't hearing what either of us is really saying."
When we can begin to realize that the reaction we receive from someone is really part 'their' emotional stuff and part 'our' emotional stuff and that we are just reliving the trauma that we never learned how to compartmentalize.....we will be all the better for understanding where everyone (including ourselves) is coming from!!!!!
So there, maybe this will help to make the Christmas or Chaunakah or Kwanza or any other faith get togethers a little less stressful for those that dread the annual festivities with family. For everyone else who does enjoy the holidays......BRING IT ON!!!! Let the fun begin......It really is much more pleasant to enjoy the time together and not just wish we could. Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Day After Thankful........
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, what a wonderful Thanksgiving we had. Thank you Trace and John and the wee ones...Samantha & Brandon.....for sharing your home, your lives and your table.
Gommy had to work in the morning and was thinking of Tracey scurrying around the kitchen, preparing the components of the feast we all eventually enjoyed. Gommy thought of the Thanksgiving Day Parade that was on TV and the anticipation of family and friends getting together later in the day and it made Goms think of past holidays when my own mother and grandmother were the ones doing the preparing, cooking and fixing the meal to make the day so special for all my grown up memories.
It truly is a rite of passage that we do pass the baton to our own children and that is how it should be. One day, we will no longer be at the festivities, but we will be in the hearts and memories of our children, who we had made so many memories to remember and pass on.
Yesterday, my mom, Grandma Katie, and on Tracey's Dads' side, her grandmother Marilyn, were there in memory, if 'not in the flesh' as my mom was known to say . We had rutabaga (that is yellow turnip for those who don't know) that was always the fare in any holiday meal that my mother and grandmother made......and we had cranberry-apple jello mold that was always made at Tracey's Dad's side and was actually handed down by her great-grandmother Nell, who was Tracey's grandfathers' mother. It was heart-warming to see that Tracey will also hand down those memories to her own sweet little ones. So, we do all leave part of us for the next generation to remember us by.
I can still see my own mom, watching the parade while sitting at the table, stuffing celery with cream cheese and olives and my own children coming by and 'sampling' them as she made them. And mom always made our holiday feasts with love. Thank you Mom for all the wonderful memories I have of our family times growing up.....I miss you and I love you. I realize now how much we do miss those who have gone on. So Goms' advice is t0 enjoy and appreciate our family while we do have them. That is why this time of year is so joyful.....even the smells and aromas of the season can bring us right back to our own wonderful childhood memories.
It is a blessing, a joy and a gift to be with family at this special time of year. And although we remember those who aren't with us any longer with a heavy heart, they are with us in our fond memories of happy times we did share together. My own children are missed especially at holiday times and get togethers but they are with me in spirit always. Miss you Ter and Tiff.
So, Goms hopes everyone had a splendid and gobble-iscous day with family and friends. This is a 'wonderful time of the year' to coin a phrase. So, don't take it for granted. Make those wonderful memories with and for your own children. They will last a lifetime......Goms knows ((*.*))
Gommy had to work in the morning and was thinking of Tracey scurrying around the kitchen, preparing the components of the feast we all eventually enjoyed. Gommy thought of the Thanksgiving Day Parade that was on TV and the anticipation of family and friends getting together later in the day and it made Goms think of past holidays when my own mother and grandmother were the ones doing the preparing, cooking and fixing the meal to make the day so special for all my grown up memories.
It truly is a rite of passage that we do pass the baton to our own children and that is how it should be. One day, we will no longer be at the festivities, but we will be in the hearts and memories of our children, who we had made so many memories to remember and pass on.
Yesterday, my mom, Grandma Katie, and on Tracey's Dads' side, her grandmother Marilyn, were there in memory, if 'not in the flesh' as my mom was known to say . We had rutabaga (that is yellow turnip for those who don't know) that was always the fare in any holiday meal that my mother and grandmother made......and we had cranberry-apple jello mold that was always made at Tracey's Dad's side and was actually handed down by her great-grandmother Nell, who was Tracey's grandfathers' mother. It was heart-warming to see that Tracey will also hand down those memories to her own sweet little ones. So, we do all leave part of us for the next generation to remember us by.
I can still see my own mom, watching the parade while sitting at the table, stuffing celery with cream cheese and olives and my own children coming by and 'sampling' them as she made them. And mom always made our holiday feasts with love. Thank you Mom for all the wonderful memories I have of our family times growing up.....I miss you and I love you. I realize now how much we do miss those who have gone on. So Goms' advice is t0 enjoy and appreciate our family while we do have them. That is why this time of year is so joyful.....even the smells and aromas of the season can bring us right back to our own wonderful childhood memories.
It is a blessing, a joy and a gift to be with family at this special time of year. And although we remember those who aren't with us any longer with a heavy heart, they are with us in our fond memories of happy times we did share together. My own children are missed especially at holiday times and get togethers but they are with me in spirit always. Miss you Ter and Tiff.
So, Goms hopes everyone had a splendid and gobble-iscous day with family and friends. This is a 'wonderful time of the year' to coin a phrase. So, don't take it for granted. Make those wonderful memories with and for your own children. They will last a lifetime......Goms knows ((*.*))
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Truly Thankful on Thanksgiving Day?
Gommy wants to wish everyone a truly happy and thankful Thanksgiving Day for tomorrow. Many will be visiting friends and family and hopefully the meaning of the day will touch our hearts and make us realize how much we all do have to be grateful and thankful for.
Sadly, there are many who will not get a delicious turkey and trimmings sort of day. They won't be sitting down with family to enjoy the blessings in front of them on the table or the loved ones all around them to share a bountiful meal with. They will be lucky if they get a crumb and a bowl of soup at a facility that is thankfully there for them each year while the rest of us are enjoying our day.
Goms doesn't want to be dreary but sometimes we need a wake-up call to become aware of just how much we do have. Goms, for one, is so very thankful for my friends and family and for a job with wonderful bosses and co-workers and a home to live in and a nice warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge. Goms is also thankful for a wonderful husband to share all these things with. Thank you God.....
Goms has posted this piece by an unknown author before, but Thanksgiving is probably the most appropriate time to re-post it.....Just in case you can't think of something to be thankful for tomorrow........try this" If you find it hard to sleep at night, remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in tonight. If you are stuck in traffic and find yourself getting upset, know there are people in this world for whom driving is not a privilege. If you have a bad day at work, think of the man or woman with a family to feed who has been out of work for months. If you should have a disappointing relationship, think of the person who has never known love, been loved or has lost a loved one. If your car should break down, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take the walk to find assistance. If you find yourself complaining about your life, remember those who didn't live long enough to have the opportunity to live a longer life. If you are having a bad hair day, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes they HAD hair. And finally, should you find yourself the victim of other people's prejudices, bitterness, anger, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse..... you could BE them. (sic)
Have a blessed day and enjoy yourself and your family tomorrow and really think about all you have to be thankful for.....there many things..... Goms is sure!!!
Sadly, there are many who will not get a delicious turkey and trimmings sort of day. They won't be sitting down with family to enjoy the blessings in front of them on the table or the loved ones all around them to share a bountiful meal with. They will be lucky if they get a crumb and a bowl of soup at a facility that is thankfully there for them each year while the rest of us are enjoying our day.
Goms doesn't want to be dreary but sometimes we need a wake-up call to become aware of just how much we do have. Goms, for one, is so very thankful for my friends and family and for a job with wonderful bosses and co-workers and a home to live in and a nice warm bed to sleep in and food in the fridge. Goms is also thankful for a wonderful husband to share all these things with. Thank you God.....
Goms has posted this piece by an unknown author before, but Thanksgiving is probably the most appropriate time to re-post it.....Just in case you can't think of something to be thankful for tomorrow........try this" If you find it hard to sleep at night, remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in tonight. If you are stuck in traffic and find yourself getting upset, know there are people in this world for whom driving is not a privilege. If you have a bad day at work, think of the man or woman with a family to feed who has been out of work for months. If you should have a disappointing relationship, think of the person who has never known love, been loved or has lost a loved one. If your car should break down, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take the walk to find assistance. If you find yourself complaining about your life, remember those who didn't live long enough to have the opportunity to live a longer life. If you are having a bad hair day, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes they HAD hair. And finally, should you find yourself the victim of other people's prejudices, bitterness, anger, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse..... you could BE them. (sic)
Have a blessed day and enjoy yourself and your family tomorrow and really think about all you have to be thankful for.....there many things..... Goms is sure!!!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Some Assembly Required
Happy Sunday out there in blogland....The other day, Gommy read the phrase, "Some Assembly Required", and started thinking that the word 'assembly' has different meanings. Assembly can mean; 1) a set of parts to assemble (put together), 2) a set of parts so assembled, 3) a group of persons gathered together for a common reason, 4) a signal by bugle or drum for troops to come together for formation, 5) or a symbolic code for computer sciences... Whew! That is a bunch of meanings.
But for todays' purposes, Goms is going to talk about how we humans seem to require "Some Assembly"...meaning....help in putting ourselves together so we can function. Humans are the only species that Goms knows of that requires a life manual or books on 'how-to' do just about everything......i.e. lectures on how to live our lives, books on our feelings and how to raise our children, guides on what we should and shouldn't eat......geesh, have we gotten that far from our core beings that we can't even figure anything out for ourselves???? When you think about it, horses don't have manuals, tigers don't have manuals, goats and birds don't need to read a book on how to raise their young, elephants just know what they are supposed to eat and what not to eat......do you see a pattern here? Humans make such a big deal out of everything we do or feel or think, that we need a virtual 'life-road-map' to figure out where we've been or where we are going. We have, somewhere along the way, lost the ability to instinctively know what is best for us.
It's not really Rocket Science boys and girls. Eat, drink, sleep, go to work, be nice, appreciate what you have, show kindness to others, respect yourself and others, come back home.....REPEAT!!! When we realize that all the things we really need are already laid out for us to enjoy, we shouldn't mess with perfection......If it ain't broke....don't fix it! God already did a pretty good job of making sure we had everything we ever needed right here on the planet Earth. We just decided, in our infinite (or was it just finite) wisdom, that we could improve on things.....NOT!!!
Adam and Eve started this whole thing off, so we can blame them. Eckhart Tolle explains in his book, "A New Earth", that the Bible was translated from the ancient Greek, in which the New Testament was written, into English. In the translation, 'sin' is a word that has been misinterpreted and misunderstood over the years. The word sin was meant as, 'to miss the mark'. And 'Original Sin' was just meant to explain how Adam and Eve missed the mark for the very first time. Meaning, to miss the target or miss the point of human existence.
It means we suffer and cause suffering because we live our lives without thinking about the real meaning of our lives. We don't take the time to enjoy all that we are hurriedly trying to accumulate. We don't appreciate all we do have. Then we wait until people are dead and gone before we realize how much they meant to us and how much we will miss them.....AND how we wish we would have told them how much they meant while they were still here. So, if you take all the cultural baggage and the misinterpretation that has been handed down through the centuries, you will see that 'Original Sin' merely points to the inherent dysfunction in the human condition.
Soooooooo, Gommy says to STOP! 'missing the mark' and start enjoying all you do have. Be it a little or a whole lot.....there are many things to be grateful for in our lives. Just look around you. Everything we need, we already have, and it is really all we can say grace over. We don't have to continue the human dysfunctional way of living if we just take the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things life does have to offer. Have a great week boys and girls and Goms wishes you a wonderful Turkey Day.....Goms is sure going to enjoy and be thankful for spending the day with Grandpa, Tracey and her family on Turkey Day..... aka Thanksgiving.....YUM! ((*.*))
But for todays' purposes, Goms is going to talk about how we humans seem to require "Some Assembly"...meaning....help in putting ourselves together so we can function. Humans are the only species that Goms knows of that requires a life manual or books on 'how-to' do just about everything......i.e. lectures on how to live our lives, books on our feelings and how to raise our children, guides on what we should and shouldn't eat......geesh, have we gotten that far from our core beings that we can't even figure anything out for ourselves???? When you think about it, horses don't have manuals, tigers don't have manuals, goats and birds don't need to read a book on how to raise their young, elephants just know what they are supposed to eat and what not to eat......do you see a pattern here? Humans make such a big deal out of everything we do or feel or think, that we need a virtual 'life-road-map' to figure out where we've been or where we are going. We have, somewhere along the way, lost the ability to instinctively know what is best for us.
It's not really Rocket Science boys and girls. Eat, drink, sleep, go to work, be nice, appreciate what you have, show kindness to others, respect yourself and others, come back home.....REPEAT!!! When we realize that all the things we really need are already laid out for us to enjoy, we shouldn't mess with perfection......If it ain't broke....don't fix it! God already did a pretty good job of making sure we had everything we ever needed right here on the planet Earth. We just decided, in our infinite (or was it just finite) wisdom, that we could improve on things.....NOT!!!
Adam and Eve started this whole thing off, so we can blame them. Eckhart Tolle explains in his book, "A New Earth", that the Bible was translated from the ancient Greek, in which the New Testament was written, into English. In the translation, 'sin' is a word that has been misinterpreted and misunderstood over the years. The word sin was meant as, 'to miss the mark'. And 'Original Sin' was just meant to explain how Adam and Eve missed the mark for the very first time. Meaning, to miss the target or miss the point of human existence.
It means we suffer and cause suffering because we live our lives without thinking about the real meaning of our lives. We don't take the time to enjoy all that we are hurriedly trying to accumulate. We don't appreciate all we do have. Then we wait until people are dead and gone before we realize how much they meant to us and how much we will miss them.....AND how we wish we would have told them how much they meant while they were still here. So, if you take all the cultural baggage and the misinterpretation that has been handed down through the centuries, you will see that 'Original Sin' merely points to the inherent dysfunction in the human condition.
Soooooooo, Gommy says to STOP! 'missing the mark' and start enjoying all you do have. Be it a little or a whole lot.....there are many things to be grateful for in our lives. Just look around you. Everything we need, we already have, and it is really all we can say grace over. We don't have to continue the human dysfunctional way of living if we just take the time to be thankful for all the wonderful things life does have to offer. Have a great week boys and girls and Goms wishes you a wonderful Turkey Day.....Goms is sure going to enjoy and be thankful for spending the day with Grandpa, Tracey and her family on Turkey Day..... aka Thanksgiving.....YUM! ((*.*))
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