You ARE Appreciated!

After spending the last day of the holiday vacation with my daughter and her little ones, I was riding home and listening to the radio. There was a conversation on a radio talk show about finding the Divine in the Mundane and that Love is in the Details. All the way home….I kept thinking how it applied to mothers everywhere. It made such an impression, that when I returned home, I wrote my beautiful daughter an email to tell her my thoughts.

I told her that when are mothering our children…there are days that it seems we just don’t have enough time for a minute to ourselves. And we don’t really feel anyone notices or appreciates all that we do for them. It even feels as if it is ‘expected’ sometimes.

But as I thought of the radio show and how they were talking about the topic of finding Divinity in the Mundane and that Love is in the Details….I knew that all those times I was feeling unappreciated….I was wrong. My daughter Tracey tells me all the time how she has such warm and fuzzy memories of the different holidays that I tried to make special for her and her brother and sister. There were some lean times for some of the occasions….but there was lots and lots of love and that is what she is remembering. I bet she could only tell you a very few gifts that I worried over to get her….but she does remember the ‘feeling’ that she had on those very special times. I read somewhere recently that it isn’t about the presents….it’s about the presence. And that, my friends, is ab-so-toot-ly the honest to goodness truth of the matter.

I told my daughter that on those times she feels depleted from getting up at the crack of dawn….just so she could run (that’s her exercise of choice….and her therapy too I imagine) because that is the only time she can carve out of the day to take some Mommy-time….and that getting her daughter up for school, making the lunch, taking her to school, spending time with Brandon while Samantha is at school….picking up Samantha….going to the park or to a play-date so the little bundles of energy will be ready for an afternoon nap and she just might get to answer some emails or pay some bills…..then prepare dinner for everyone, clean up and then tuck them in at night…and hopefully have enough spark left over to spend on her wonderful husband….that…it is those times that will really be appreciated....some day. It may not seem as if anyone is noticing…but take a Gommys’ word for it…THEY ARE. If Mommy or Daddy were not around to do all those things….that wonderful life those little ones ‘expect’ every day….would not be very wonderful any longer.

And one day….when the little ones have little ones of their own….they will tell Mommy and Daddy just how much they did appreciate all they did for them. All the vacations they went on that they now realize were for the enjoyment of the children….when Mom and Dad could very well have gone on some exotic adult get away alone. All the considerations they made of making sure the children were getting the proper education. The nights they stayed up because they were sick. All the million little ‘mundane’ things Moms and Dads do every, single day for their family. Those 'mundane' things are the things made of love...and love IS in the details.

So, Moms and Dads out there…..just know that what you are doing IS appreciated. You just won’t be told for a few years. But it’s coming…I promise you….it’s coming. You do matter and what you do is appreciated. And remember….Love IS in the details and never forget to look for the Divine in the Mundane. It’s there….look for it and you will see it. Gommy is pulling for ya’. Hugs & Mush - Gommy

Holiday Message to All!

Hello Boys and Girls and Happy, Merry Holidays! It has been so busy lately and we are getting ready to say good-bye to another year. They do go by faster and faster don’t they….or is it just me? Gommy just loves this time of the year. So many more peeps are willing to accept the magic of believing. You can feel it in the air. Right along with good cheer towards each other.

There are still the Henny Pennys who love to predict that the sky is falling. And there are still those grump-buckets who seem to relish in drama and other peoples’ misfortunes. And then there are the politicians who are supposed to represent us….but are more interested in making us divisive. UGH! But I say poo-poo on your head to them. The best weapon against those who don’t wish us well…..is to live happily ever after. It will sooooo bug the crap out of them! LOL

There is also the sentiment that the ‘End of the World’ is near (according to the misinterpreted, IMHO, Mayan Calendar boo yah yah and blah, blah, blah). Really? Again with the Y2K bologna? It didn’t happen then…..so why think it will happen in 2012? Why do some people just want to see this wonderful world come to an end? Geesh…..

I prefer to think that the only things that will come to an end in 2012…. is the end of doomsday thinking or the way we think that something wonderful can’t happen. How about instead, realizing that we really do have all we ever need in this world. Believe that being happy for someone else’s good fortune doesn’t take away from anything we have ourselves. Remember that when others do well…. we can all benefit from the atmosphere of good vibes and well wishes. Even if it is just feeling good about yourself for being able to feel happy for the other person. How about being satisfied with what we have….and not looking over your shoulder for what you think you don’t have? That is the secret to being truly happy. There are so many things in our lives that we take for granted every day that are really gifts of grace from God. And not appreciating them is like being disrespectful for the wonder that they are. Look around peeps….there are things everywhere to be thankful for. And one day….you will realize that all those little things you took for granted or the people you took for granted….WERE the important things.

Of course, there are some who are having hard times….but we all have the capacity to believe our way into better times. It has happened before when things seemed sooooo dismal in the World. It CAN happen if we wish it to happen. But if we just wallow in sad and bad thoughts about our lot in life….we have given up hope. And when there is no hope…it does seem bleak. But the good news is….There is ALWAYS hope. Someone said once, “If you think you can…..you are half-way there.”

So here is Gommys’ Christmas and Holiday Poem for you. May you all have a wonderful Holiday Season and remember to give thanks for what you do have. You can do it….Gommy is pulling for you! Hugs and Mush and Happy Holidays to alllllll!

Twas the Night Before Christmas (Gommy Style)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land….

Every creature was ‘stirring’….in big pots and pans.

The women were prepping the fixins’ galore,

In hopes that the big day, could be enjoyed more.

It’s a bleak year for some,

While still others make tons.

But a New Year is coming and promised to be,

Much better for all, is my grand wish for thee.

So, break out in song and prepare for the best,

Don’t let the nay-sayers steal all of your zest.

Look to the future and the past you must leave,

No promises made, if you refuse to Believe!

Now, Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,

And Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.

Thanks for bringing good cheer with your annual flight,

Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!’

~ Gommy 2011~

Missing You!

This is my love note to you Terry and Tiffany. Today is 19 years since we were together in this life. That is 2 years longer than you were here on this earth with us Tiffany and 3 years less than how old you were Terry when you left us. It’s hard to comprehend that it has been that long….but in a way, it seems like only yesterday.

Many things have happened and changed in these many years since you were taken. But the thing that has not changed is how much we still miss you. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have a thought about each of you. So many birthdays have gone by. Many Christmases, Easters, dinners, movies, new songs, new technologies…..so many occasions we weren’t able to share.

The thing that brings me comfort though, are the memories of the great times we did share. I am forever grateful for the grace that allowed you into my life. I see other families and think how fortunate they are with their family intact. And I hope they are making those cherished memories with their children that I now have to keep me company.

It’s bizarre to know how quickly life can change. How the people we think will be with us forever….may not even be with us tomorrow. How sad to think of people not enjoying those times when they are able. Sad that they may not be taking advantage of the time to be with the ones who really matter in life. When good-bye is forever….you realize how very long that is. One thing I have come to learn though is that love is stronger and lasts longer than death.

So, I just wanted to say that even though I think of you every day.....today is the day in time that changed everything I will ever know about feeling whole again. I love you both and will for all of my forever. Hugs & Mush, Mom

Love Is In the Air...So just Breathe In!

Love is in the Air,….Soooooo Just Breathe It In…..

Hello Peeps! Yep….another Gommy’s Goodies…and so soon after the last one. There seems to be a slowdown in my Facebook community lately…..so Goms had time to focus on a topic I was reading about in a magazine article this morning. It was on a yogic technique called Alternate-Nostril Breathing. While reading the piece, it hit me that we do many of the same things over and over again, without even realizing we may be doing them wrong. This particular article was about the ‘simple’ task of breathing. Yeah, I know, whoda thunk it! What’s the big deal about breathing right? Well, it turns out it is a VERY big deal. By doing it ‘right’ it may add to the quality of how we are living….oh, and about the actual ‘living’ part…there’s that too.

The article went on to say that we breathe over 20,000 times a day. You’d think that doing something 20,000 times a day would help you to get preeeeeety good at something wouldn’t you? But NOPE. To breathe correctly, (not just to stay alive), you must concentrate and think about how you breathe. Amazing, right?

Breathing can do many things besides the all-important one of keeping us on the right side of the sod. It can reduce stress, help us heal and even help us to lose weight. I’m not sure ‘how’ it helps us in losing weight….but that is what the article said….so there must be some science to it. And I know for a fact that the reducing stress one works. Been there….done that a bunch!

When we are all inside our heads and worried and stressed about any number of things…we tend to breathe shallowly. I guess that is because we are so busy concentrating on what is bothering us….we don’t take the time to ‘think’ about how we are breathing. I know…I know….breathing is an automatic reflex. But ‘determined/concentrative breathing’ takes some thinking. The article said if you are having a stressful day….try the breathing exercise. I did and I could see an immediate feeling of calmness. Breathing this way is how it may help to heal us, for example, by lowering our blood pressure and/or pulse rate. And it also helps tremendously in the de-stressing department.

Have you ever felt all tied up in knots and just taken in a long breath and immediately felt a little better? Bingo…. See, you have already done a deep breath cleansing and didn’t even know it. It’s probably the body ‘knowing’ how to relieve stress and jumping in to let the ‘steam’ off for us. Sort of an automatic built-in safety pressure gauge. Guess that’s where the term ‘venting’ originated.

The exercise goes like this: Close your mouth and put your thumb next to the right side of your nose and press it in, then breathe in (deeply and thoughtfully about the inhaling of your breath) through the left nostril. Then exhale through the left nostril….slowly. When you have fully exhaled, put your pinkie finger on the left nostril, while lifting your thumb off of the right nostril….. and breathe deeply in through the right nostril, then repeat. Do this for a series of five times. You will be amazed at how peaceful you feel. It also helps when we are tired…because an extra- big dose of oxygen helps revive our brain to stay awake (literally).

So, that's Gommys' tip for the day. Try it if you want an easy, free way to feel better instantly....and who amongst us in this 21st Century demand for instant gratification wouldn't? Chillax Peeps! You can do it! Goms is pulling for ya'. Hugs & Mush- Gommy

Sheep No More!

Hello Boys and Girls. It’s been quite a while since Gommy has offered any goodies to you all. But lately, there has been so much to love and enjoy in my own neck of the woods….that I have been having a high old time (emphasis on the old…lol) and I just plain forget about putting my thoughts on… I was going to say paper…but that isn’t as completely fitting in this 21^st Century.

As long as we’re (actually just me) on the subject of what ‘isn’t correct or seems to apply any longer’…..let me get out my soap box. Pssstttt….this is where I give you the chance to run. OK then…for those still with me......

It seems as if it is no longer correct to have a differing opinion about much of anything anymore. With all this political correctness, putting your foot in your mouth can lead to disaster. Or if the opinion doesn’t fit in with what the other person is thinking or believing….you are just supposed to keep your big, fat mouth shut. Disagreeing can even lead to being shunned. Hey! I thought shunning was something that was done back in the old Bible days. Oh well, I digress. Sadly, it no longer applies that you should automatically do the right thing when it comes to being charitable, or caring what happens to those less fortunate, or expect our political representation to look out for their constituents instead of themselves. So many seem to be a bunch of greedy-guts and Scrooge-like in their wanting it allllll! And I thought this country was founded on the principle that we were supposed to separate church and state. The Founding Fathers made sure to put it in the Bill of Rights that we would have religious freedom. AND, they made it the number one Right:

I. Freedom of Speech, Press, Religion and Petition

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

It appears that people will talk about standing up for the rights of others…..but that is only if it doesn’t go against what THEY believe in. Sorry, peeps, that is NOT what freedom means. Look it up. Take as long as you need.

Why is it that when someone has a different way of looking at something, that other people find it hard to even associate with them any longer? Is it the old saying about ‘birds of a feather…flock together?’ Or maybe it is that they feel threatened. But that doesn’t make any sense….it is just a difference of opinion, right? Can’t we agree to disagree? On occasion, I have found myself in a group of people… and if I offer a differing opinion….it seems as if I am experiencing the feeling that I am in that old commercial for E.F. Hutton, where the whole room becomes hushed. Wuz up wit dat?

And what about all this hate that is everywhere? This country could turn into another Civil War if this partisanship continues and the haves and the have nots keep at it. As I see it, we are all in this together. It’s no longer about Republicans or Democrats…it’s about survival for all of us....for crying out loud. If our wonderful country goes down the tubes….it will be all of us going down. Not just the have nots. That is what I can’t wrap my brain around. When everyone is finally in the crapper….and out of money, lose their homes, their savings, their investments….. who do the ‘haves’ think will be able to buy their crap any more? Seems like a no brainer to this old Gommy. And the last time I looked….we were circling the drain!

The old phrase, “it’s the economy stupid.’ makes me think that we need to add another phrase. The economy phrase has been repeated often in American political culture to wake people up. Even though it IS about the economy in these troubled times, I think a new phrase should be brought to the fore. How about, ‘it’s about principles stupid.’? Principles that don’t allow the country to be bought off by huge corporations who keep all the money and don’t like to play nice with others. Principles that say it smells fishy that lobbyists make kabillions of dollars to sway the votes of the politicians who are supposed to be watching out for us…NOT the companies and corporations they are buying votes for. Principles that don't allow the fat cats to get away with lying about what they said they would do if we bailed them out. They said they would reinvest in our country if we got THEM out of trouble, and now they say….whoa….this isn’t a very good financial climate to hop back in to. No joke Sherlock! You are the ones that got us here...we bailed you out…and now you are just resting on your big fat rolls of cash. DUH...you got us!!!! P.T. Barnum said...'there's a sucker born every minute', and he sure was right. And not one of those financial ‘wizards’ that broke our economy, served even one day in jail for their crimes. WTF????

But Hooey…who is Gommy trying to kid? Everyone ‘says’ they want to get along and they are sick and tired of all the junk on TV that gets everyone all riled up and at odds with each other. But are they REALLY? You see, the powers that be would not keep the junk on TV if there were not an audience for it. So, it does go back to being all about the economy (the economy of each persons’ purse). And until ‘they’ (the negative-ers) see that we are actually through with buying into all the negativity crap….they will continue to bring it to us. They are good that way. Get in THEIR pockets….and they perk right up! When the news goes back to being unbiased (on either side), and the TV shows don’t insult every ounce of every part of our senses any longer, and we stop buying the products the corporations are paying for their advertisements to keep this junk on TV….THAT is when you will notice that it is really stopping.

So, if you want to stop spinning in the negative hamster wheel...here's what you can do; you must stop watching the hate mongers on TV that just want to get everyone mad at each other (so their ratings go up), you can stop watching, listening, or reading any News that is only trying to get us to be so divisive, you can realize that we are just pawns in their money game and refuse to play with them any longer. Oh, and you might also want to insist that teachers make a decent income instead of the Charlie Sheen types who make 8-9- or 10 millions dollars a year from acting on their shows or the athletes who make so much that the regular folk can't afford a ticket anymore. Doesn't anyone else think there is something wrong with that? You can change it....just stop buying all their stuff. The prices will come down real fast. I promise. Come on peeps. You can do it. Gommy is pulling for ya' . Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Stuck?

Have you ever wondered how some people ‘seemingly’ go through life without a care in the world, while others seem stuck in some time warp of pain? I have sometimes wondered if 'they' are careless or they just care (less). Some of us don’t even realize we are stuck. But the reality is that many of us do have issues, or in today’s vernacular, it is referred to as ‘emotional baggage’. Emotional baggage can be caused by trying to fast forward over a painful time, but we actually end up carrying it around with us for a lifetime.

Our emotional baggage comes from our life journey. It may be from a traumatic experience, the loss of a loved one, or any situation that was not healed at that particular juncture of our ‘life experience’. A wound does not heal if we leave any dirt or residue in the cut…and it will eventually fester. So too, will our emotional wounds refuse to heal if we don’t ‘clean them out’ as well. Much like the famed author and poet Henry Thoreau pointed to in his quote, "There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."…it can be pointed to our emotional baggage as well, that if we do not get to the ‘root’ of the pain….it will eventually ‘fester’ or manifest in any number of ways that affect our ‘now’.

Emotional baggage can also be likened to a diseased heart. New branches will actually grow from the heart to make up for clogged arteries, so they can bring blood to where it is needed in the body. But the reality is that there is still a problem with the heart for these branches to have manifested. In this way, our past takes us along different paths trying to keep us going forward, and all the while we are forgetting the reason for the detours.

Some wounds will heal in time on their own, but others will just keep us ‘stuck’ in that moment. If you want to get ‘unstuck’, you must revisit that memory and make peace with it or it will continue to interfere with your present time of life. And you are the only one who can heal the broken part where you are emotionally stuck. You must make peace with it, and to do that you have to accept ‘what is’. You don’t have to like it, condone it or want it to have happened….but you have to accept that it did happen and realize nothing is going to change the fact that it did happen.

The tricky part is that you must be brutally honest with yourself and be willing to take off your emotional armor and/or the protective shell that you have been carrying around all these years. If you find that it is too painful to revisit…you will learn that the ‘pain’ is very persistent in wanting to be cleansed and it is also quite patient in waiting for you to ‘deal’ with it. It is much like housework that you don’t feel like doing, or the pile of work on your desk. They will still be there when you get around to cleaning up. It doesn’t just magically disappear. And you will also find that it is constantly nagging you in the back of your mind until you do tend to it. But the trade-off for waiting for you to ‘deal’….is that you will feel stress, unhappiness, discontent, and DIS-ease.

Just as when we clear a path in an overgrown forest to take a walk, or tidy up our closet or clean up that junk drawer, we feel so good when look at a job well done and everything feels cleaner and brighter and easier to navigate. Making a clear path in our life journey, will help us to realize that underneath all the ‘clutter’ is a new us…..dusted off and navigating more easily to our new tidy and awakened ‘now’. Becoming ‘awakened’ isn’t some New Age Mumbo Jumbo. It just refers to having an aha moment or many strung together, so that you see things in a different way, or that your forgive yourself or someone else for ‘whatever’, or you realize that you are still you - no matter what your past was, or whatever it is that got you ‘stuck’, has no power over you any longer. Or it can be that what you 'thought' was true for so many years....has turned on the light bulb (hence the term En-LIGHT-ened) in your consciousness, so that you are free to feel what you are feeling now.

So Short Story LONG…if you want to get unstuck from a painful time or memory from your past…do the work and you will find that you are claiming a calmer, more peaceful, happy future for yourself. And the way to do the ‘work’ is really quite simple. All you have to do is love, forgive and embrace yourself or whatever was in your excess emotional baggage scenario. Easy as pie! You can do it….Goms is pulling for ya’ Hugs & Mush- Gommy

Hello 'Me'.....

I read a quote this morning, which started me thinking…really thinking about the subject in the quote. The quote was by author Richard Bach and it was; “How much to learn if we could spend one hour… or even twenty minutes, with the us we will become! How much could we say to the us we were."

Wow, that is very profound. Just think back to when you were a young child and you were full of hopes and wishes. Then fast forward to a time that you may have made a horrible mistake or a decision that changed your life forever. Or the moment you just ‘knew’ what you wanted to do as your career path. Or when you were a teen and broke up with your first love and you thought it was the end of the world and you just couldn’t go on. Or a time you were bullied and you now realize that those mean people were really the ones who were suffering from a low self-esteem and you were the one who they may have secretly wished they could be. Or if you were the one doing the bullying….that you are so grateful that the other person didn’t take their life, as we hear so often now.

Or maybe remember a very sad time in your life where maybe you lost loved ones and you didn't know if life could ever have any color again. But you have learned that you still have people in your life who mean the world to you and you can have still have happy times with them. And life has given you grandchildren and although you still achingly miss your loved ones, you have indeed been able to be happy again. And that doesn't mean you forgot your loved ones.

How many of those things that you ‘thought’ you wanted when you were so young, would you still want today? Can you even remember that person who you thought ‘broke your heart’ and made you think that you wanted your life to be over because of the breakup? Or would you still do things the same way with your ex? Did you find that life does go on…even after the most agonizing events that may have happened to you? Would you still choose the career path that you were so sure of before you knew how it actually unfolded in your life? Maybe you feel it is too late to change that path and the realization has set in that although you aren’t completely satisfied with your choice, this is what you will be doing for the rest of your working days! What would you say to that young person…’you’….to try and influence the choices you were making, for the most important things that would shape you into you?

What would you say to yourself today, now that you know what actually did happen as your years flew by? Many would be satisfied with the roads they took….many would change some of the decisions they made and sadly, there are those who feel they would change every decision they ever made…and even worse, that they have wasted their lives.

And who would you like to spend more time with….now that they are no longer alive? Who would you like to say you are sorry to? Who would you have cherished more in your life? Who would you have not let go out of your life?

But, the thing to remember is that every decision, every twist and turn in life, is a step we made to grow….to finally become who we are. Another poignant quote by Mr. Bach tells us that this is true; "There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."

The only mistake you can make is to not learn from the lessons we are given. But even that isn’t a real mistake. Because, there will be more lessons and more lessons if that is what you need to finally become ‘you’. It can be a painful process….or you may be a quick learner and sail through the lessons. It is up to the individual. It really is all about choices…..and realizing that you are making those choices at every turn.

So Gommy would suggest….IMHO….and for future reference….to really think about what you want for the rest of your life. It’s never too late to live happily ever after. You can do it…Gommy is pulling for ya’. Hugs & Mush, Gommy