Aha!

Hello out there all my little peeps! It is the beginning of a new week and magic is in the air. Thanksgiving will soon be upon us and the most wonderful time of the year is right after that. The Winter Holidays!!!! Christmas for some....Hanukkah for others....Kwanza for others.....and Ramadan for others still. It seems that people finally get it all together during the Winter Holidays and actually wish for Peace, Harmony and Good Will toward all. Even the Scrooges of the world lighten up a bit during this time of year.

That got Gommy to thinking why this warm and fuzzy feeling isn't prolonged, nurtured and kept going, to stay in our consciousness all year. And why do some people find it easier to live and let live....not be as hateful....find it unpleasant to constantly stir the proverbial pot of discontent....and on and on and on, while others seem to enjoy being miserable and hateful? Gommy says seems to because no one could really like being hateful. It is a terrible way to live.

After hearing repeated statements lately, such as: each person has a destiny, that light and love are the way to happiness, that each person who crosses your/our path is meant to teach us lessons, and that we are all one... it got Goms to thinking of people in my own life and about their personalities,....of my own trials, tribulations and blessings.... and the reasons why we all act as we do. The main question Gommy has, is why is it easy for some and not so easy for others to be happy in their own life?

One reason may be that the ones who are having the hardest time and act the harshest, do so because they are very stubborn in their way of thinking. They can see only black and white and they seem to choose to believe the very worst of a group of people, or of their own circumstances, and about life in general. These people are very unhappy and don't have a very good feeling about themselves. They aren't happy unless they are stirring the pot of life. They feel they have to be the conductor, the lead person, the be-all/end-all in charge person that is the only one who could possibly know, 'for sure', how everything should run. If anything gets out of their control....watch out. They erupt very easily and make everyone around them very uncomfortable. But that is just their 'tool' to keep everyone in line. Just like the lion-tamer in the circus. The lion or tigers could easily take out the little old lion tamer at any time.....but the tamer cracks that whip as if that would really save his butt if the massive feral animals wanted to charge at him.

The 'tamer' is very delusional. He thinks that everyone is paying close attention to him because he/she is sooooo very interesting and admired. Wrong Mr/Ms Tamer. You are acting a fool and everyone but you seems to be in on the joke. But you have to keep up the facade because if you lay your whip down or quit your loud bellowing.....everyone may decide to charge at you and you will be seen for the fraud that you are.

Then the thought came to Goms..."Why do we even need these abrasive people in the world, that we seem to come into contact with all the time?". Maybe it is to 'awaken' the rest of us to the realization that they are just making a bunch of noise and they really have no power and our job is actually to help them 'awaken' to a better way of feeling. Just as you would calm a crying child who is afraid....we can help those bullies to see they are loved as well. That is really all they want. They could also be put in our path to mirror some behavior we may be exhibiting and need to change...quickly!!!! When they/we see that being kind, loving and having a genuine care for all really does feel better.... then perhaps they/we may just change their/our hateful, bigoted or ____ (just fill in the blank here) ways.

If you feel you can't do anything about these sorts of people.....ask/pray for guidance in this journey. Know that this may be your mission....to help these people to feel less afraid. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that you somehow helped someone else be more loving....to have the feeling that everyone else feels during the Winter Holiday Season? How great would it be to be able to sustain these glorious wishes for goodwill, for the entire year.....or years on end?

Something is happening in the world lately. We see more and more people who are searching for peace, love and harmony. This latest awareness recently came in the suggestion that we all stop for 11 seconds on 11/11/10 at 11:11 am and 11:11pm.... and for 11 days after at that time..... and think of beautiful thoughts projecting out into the Universe. To send out loving wishes to all mankind. It has been proven that our attitudes and thoughts are contagious....so wouldn't it be great if a nicer thought pattern was 'caught' by everyone? So, every time you notice the numbers 11-11 or 22-22 or 33-33 etc. take this as a gentle reminder of how we can promote a greater awareness of a loving nature and that it may just be possible that it could be guidance from God.... that this is sort of a wake-up call to be a gentler 'us' and to be more accepting of our fellow humans and a reminder that we can be of greater use while we are on our life journey. You will find that the more you keep this in mind....the more frequently you will notice these numbers come up in your daily experience. You will feel you are having an inner calling that you cannot ignore any longer. It is a much more rewarding feeling than to be defiling our fellow human beings. Be willing to move beyond the fear.... and love those spanning across all cultures. This IS God's plan for us on Earth and beyond. In God's name....honor and accept His Divine Heritage for us. Blessings abound.....just stop to notice them.

This is the perfect time to start making the attitude adjustments. Thanksgiving is all about what we are grateful for....so amp it up a bit peeps. Don't just give it 'lip-service'....BE thankful and act nice! Since we were all made in the likeness of God....it should be easy to accept that we were meant to be all loving and to help others to be all loving as well. We can make this a better world....it only takes each of us changing our thoughts to positive, loving thoughts.....one person at a time. You can do it boys and girls. Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Lessons....are they grinding you down or polishing you up?

Hello boys and girls. It's the end of another blessed week. Now, some of you may have had a trying week....or a week with disappointments....or you may have felt that you were under enormous pressure about something happening in your life. We never quite understand why, what or how situations come along in our life, that make us happy, sad, confused or just plain annoy us.

What happens in our life, has defining moments that may change the way we feel, put us in a bad mood, or it can turn out to be the best lesson we ever learned. It mostly depends on our perspective. We can choose to be the half-empty or the half-full subject of the scenario.

If we let things get us down....we are getting 'ground down', so to speak. But if we look for the lessons in the situation, we may be able to 'shine' when we do come out the other end of the event. Don't believe Gommy? Let's say you may think that it isn't possible to be happy about losing your job. But perhaps you weren't loving the job you were in. Losing your job enabled you to take the time to think about what would make you happier in your next job. There are many people who have lost their jobs in the latest financial crisis. And you hear of several people who say they found their hearts desire, by going an entirely different way, out of necessity. They had to look in a different direction from the position they lost. And maybe they started making jewelry, or they worked with animals, or went back to school to become a teacher, because they always loved being with children......there are many stories out there that prove that just when you thought your life as you 'thought' you were comfortable with was snatched away.....the most perfect opportunity was placed right under your nose.

Adversity can polish you up and make you stronger. Or you can allow it to grind you down.We never think we can go through something until we are faced with it. There are those of us who have lost children, or a spouse or another loved one and although that grief is not something ANYONE would ever want to face.....there comes a time when you realize that you have to accept 'what is' and be happy for how very blessed you were in having had them in your life. And the experience of those losses, makes you appreciate all you do have in your life and the people you still have, are all the more precious to you.

Here is a story that pretty much sums up how to survive the events in our lives that end up dictating how the rest of our life will be. Enjoy!

Is It Grind or Shine?

Adversity is the grindstone of life. Intended to polish you up, adversity also has the ability to grind you down. The impact and ultimate result depend on what you do with the difficulties that come your way. Consider the phenomenal achievements of people experiencing adversity.

Beethoven composed his greatest works after becoming deaf. Sir Walter Raleigh wrote the History of the World during a thirteen year imprisonment. If Columbus had turned back, no one could have blamed him, considering the constant adversity he endured. Of course, no one would have remembered him either. Abraham Lincoln achieved greatness by his display of wisdom and character during the devastation of the Civil War. Luther translated the Bible while enduring confinement in the Castle of Wartburg. Under a sentence of death and during twenty years in exile, Dante wrote the Divine Comedy. John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim's Progress in a Bedford jail.

Finally, consider a more recent example. Mary Groda-Lewis endured sixteen years of illiteracy because of unrecognized dyslexia, was committed to a reformatory on two different occasions, and almost died of a stroke while bearing a child. Committed to going to college, she worked at a variety of odd jobs to save money, graduated with her high school equivalency at eighteen, was named Oregon's outstanding Upward Bound student, and finally entered college. Determined to become a doctor, she faced fifteen medical school rejections until Albany Medical College finally accepted her. In 1984, Dr. Mary Groda-Lewis, at thirty-five, graduated with honors to fulfill her dream.

Adversity - the grindstone of life. Will it grind you down or polish you up?

Curing Our 'Mental Illness'

Good Sunday Boys and Girls. The weather down here in South Florida has been absolutely gorgeous lately. This is what they call 'Chamber of Commerce' weather and is what makes the 'Snowbirds' flock to us when their weather gets really yucky, redundant and unbearable!

Today, Gommy wants to talk about how our past has such a grip on our present.....that it becomes a ridiculous way to live. For many, there is much pain in their history. But, until we get a grip.....and realize that our past is gone and cannot hurt us any longer....we continue to let our past affect our wonderful NOW.

What Gommy meant in the title of today's blog, "Mental Illness", does not mean that we are insane. It means that we have dis-ease about our past. We are conditioned by our past. We allow our past to dictate to our NOW.

Goms has been re-reading and re-listening to the self-help guru Eckhart Tolle again recently (and don't get all wacka-doodle here...because 'guru' just means teacher). He has many insights into why we do allow our past to sometimes take over our present.

Gommy has had occasions to observe this behavior, first hand. We all have actually. We just didn't realize where it was coming from when we were observing it. For example: say someone is consumed with jealousy, guilt, hatred...for another sibling. Where did these emotions come from? They came from the conditioned 'pain body' that Mr. Tolles explains so beautifully in his book, "A New Earth".

Pain body just means, what is called in today's terminology,....baggage. The baggage we carry with us from our conditioned past experinces. We may have been a sibling of one brother who we thought was getting too much attention from their mother or father. Not realizing that there are many different relationships that occur, even within a family. A mother or father does not necessarily love one child more than another. But they can have more in common with one child than another and get along with that child better, because the child isn't argumentative and doesn't cause friction to the parent/child relationship.

When the sibling grows up...they bring with them, that baggage of their childhood and actually have feelings of hate for the other sibling (yes, that is a strong word, but describes the venomous emotions of the affected sibling to a tee). They end up with a tortured NOW...because they are still living in their Past.

Or, if you grew up with losing a loved one at an early age.....you may 'measure' every instance, choice, circumstance or situation that comes up in your life, with the yardstick of losing more. So, you make yourself and everyone else around you uncomfortable to enjoy themselves by your constant compulsion to hold onto every last cent you have. And you may not even be aware that everyone else, except you, can see and feel this emotion in you.

Or perhaps you have a terrible relationship with your parents. Eckhart Tolle quotes Ram Dass in saying..."If you think you are enlightened...spend two weeks with your parents." This is because there is no other relationship that has their stamp on you more than the relationship you share with your parents. They are the ones who gave you the groundwork of your beliefs about yourself and life in general. When you grow up and start living your own life...you want nothing more than to live your life the way YOU want and you no longer want your parents' approval (although that would be nice, but is not neceassary). If you can just 'accept' your parents and realize they are who THEY are, you will find peace in being in their company. Realize that they are acting in their past mental emotional conditioning as well and if they are strong willed....it is even harder, because they will not give up the grip of giving you advice on how you should be living your life very easily.

You must practice being with difficult people in small doses. If you can tell yourself that you only have to be in control of your own 'presence' in their company for say an hour....it is easier than visiting them for a week. You don't have to 'agree' with them....you just have to accept that 'this is where they are coming from' and try not to internalize it. But remember this very important thing....the closer you are to this difficult person....the more they 'know' what your 'hot buttons' are and they are very skillful in pushing them....often and at the most inopportune time. Like when you are feeling smug about controlling your reaction to their smugness.....opinions.....intrusions. BAM....your 'right, hot' button was push and you find yourself right back into that feral emotionality from your past conditioning. This is where many family Holiday dramas come to a head.....Too much of a good thing?

But if we can realize that they or WE are reacting from our "past emotional conditioning"...then we can try to accept 'what is' and go from there. Tell yourself that THEY or WE are not acting from who WE actually are....but from our DIS-ease of our mental conditioning of our past....and we may be able to take an intelligent approach to the situation. Realize that we, or they, are reacting from reliving or revisiting our past conditons.

Whew....did that clear anything up for you? Or are you still in denial that YOU could have ANY part in your own suffering? Remember...suffering is brought on by not accepting. There is no use fighting with "WHAT IS" is there? You aren't going to change what already IS. And you may not be able to change the other person.....But you CAN change how you react to them and to the relationship.

So, everyone who is having any emotional conflicts with your mother, brother, sister or whomever.....try practicing 'non-reaction'. Gommy isn't saying it is easy.....that is what conditioning is all about. What we need to do is be RE-conditioned....Hey, if it's good for a car.....it should be good for us as well....lol....

The Holidays are coming up pretty soon, and it sure would be nice if everyone 'played nice' this year. Quit bringing your old baggage with you to the festivities every year. Bring your new, awakened, aware luggage this time. It will be a whole lot nicer gathering. Gommy promises! You can do it....Gommy is pulling for ya'....Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Let's All Get Happy!

Hi boys and girls. Today is the first day that it has felt like Fall is actually coming this year to South Florida. The air is crisp and the humidity has gone somewhere to hibernate. Hooray! It makes Gommy happy to see and feel the change and know that we are coming upon the Happy Time of year for most people....the Holidays!

Just as Goms was being all happy-butt....an aha moment came into my mind and made me wonder about the concept of 'being happy'. Many people strive for happiness in their life and it seems as though the harder we look for happiness.....the more it eludes. There is a secret to finding happiness.....Wanna' know what it is? Keep reading and Gommy will let you in on it.

First, let's go to where you won't find happiness and it may lead you out of that mine field and point you to the direction of 'finding' your happiness. It is absolutely, positively and promised that you will not find happiness in comparing yourself with anyone else. Not in how they look, or how much they have, or what stature they have achieved in their career. This means that you must not compare yourself in thinking YOU are better, prettier, richer or have a BETTER career than anyone else either! Any time you compare yourself with anything or anyone else....you have lost the connection that allows you to be and feel the way God/Source/Being (or whatever name you feel comfortable using) wants you to feel.

God only wants us to be joyful and blissful. It only puts up roadblocks or stumbling blocks when we choose to grade ourselves against others. We do it to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we aren't pretty enough or nice enough.....or thin enough.....or you get the picture. When all you have to do is to be grateful and appreciate all the things we have been provided to BE happy....and it was all given to us with Grace. We didn't earn it....it was GIVEN freely to us to enjoy.

To put it another way....Think of how you feel when you give your child or your grandchild or your spouse or partner something and they show that they love it. You experience that warm and fuzzy feeling just as much, or maybe more, than they do. That is because you gave them something...they showed appreciation for it....and you get to feel wonderful too. That is exactly how God feels when we are grateful for all we have been given. It just takes us to notice....then to say thank you. That's it.

The tricky part is to remember to watch for all of the occasions that there are to be grateful for. Sometimes, we get so caught up on living our life....that we don't notice all we do have. These things are the Blessings that are given to us every day. We were put here to experience life in a joyful way. The people who aren't experiencing very much joy.....are in that other frame of mind, that compares themselves to others.....who are holding grudges against others....are bitter about their life experiences....feel their life 'isn't fair'.....and on and on.

We can also compare our life situation or to someone else and feel we are more important than someone else. Someone who has a job that we don't feel is as important as ours....someone who has less money than we do....lives in a lesser house than we live....who we feel superior to. That is a big mistake. It is like an orchestra. Is the flute any more important than the cello....or the violin...or the piano? Nooooo. The beautiful music comes from the whole. The music needs all of the instruments to make the symphony enjoyable and moving. We can be the conductor of our lives. Be content with what you have and you will not be searching for something better to bring you happiness.

I have witnessed people with so very little, having the time of their life together. They may be enjoying time at a picnic at the beach. Or having a cookout in the back yard....playing sports together.....whatever it is....they are having a good time doing it. They are laughing and having a glorious experience. They aren't thinking that someone, somewhere.... may be living in a mansion with more than they have. That is the secret. Enjoy and be happy for what you have.

Ernest Hemingway said..."Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know!" Maybe that is because the people who are always 'thinking' about happiness....never seem to know when they have it. It is right here in front of us all the time. A beautiful sunrise or sunset...a bird singing to us from a tree...a baby's smile...a tender hug from someone we love....having someone we love want to spend time with us. Wow....it doesn't get much better than that.

It all boils down to love. Loving who you are....loving what you do....loving who you are with....loving all that is given to us to enjoy and appreciating it. So boys and girls....take a minute to count your blessings. They are everywhere. Instead of complaining about your job...be grateful you have a job. Instead of complaining about your kids...be glad they are healthy and still with you. Instead of complaining about your spouse...be glad you aren't alone in the world.

Be happy people....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush - Gommy

It Is All Very Simple...Really!

Hello boys and girls. Gommy just got back from visiting with my little grands so mommy and daddy could have a lunch together without wiping anyone's mouth except their own for a change. Not that they mind wiping their little angels mouths. In fact, Gommy has to practically force mommy to take a break away from the little ones sometimes. I don't blame her a bit. They are really adorable and so much fun to be around. But everyone needs a little change of scenery sometimes...even mommies and daddies.

But, after coming home and counting my blessings once more....I began reading the updates on Facebook. I came across a short video of a gathering that was held in Washington DC this weekend. A couple of comedy stars, with the help of some friends, got up this grassroots trip to DC to have a friendly demonstration to show that the politics of the day are way out of whack.

What with the.... all the time...every hour...unending talking heads on the cable TV shows, spouting off and then airing all the other people spouting off about their opinions...mostly vitriolic hatred....and the immediate and viral expediency of this trash talking stuff reaching everyone....I feel that it just ends up igniting those who are full of hate and bigotry anyway.

When did we get so full of hate again? I thought we left that mentality back in the Civil War Days when brother fought against brother, all in the name of disagreement.. "Civil' War? That is certainly an oxymoron if I have ever heard one! If you think about it....it still boils down to hating someone for not agreeing with you.

The ads for the politicians are so full of mud slinging and name calling, that it just turns ones stomach. But apparently not everyone's stomach...because they say that negative ads sell and people believe them! Geesh. Goms is pretty sure not too many people could stand up to the scrutiny (now they call it vetting) that a person has to go through to run for office. Most people have some skeletons in their closet that they would like to stay in the closet!

All of this got Goms to thinking about a man who lived over twenty-five Centuries ago. Let that sink in your mind for a minute....25 Centuries....long before there was any mention of Jesus Christ. So, how did this man named Lao Tzu, have the insight....foresight....awareness...or whatever it was, to write down the wonderful things he wrote?

Many people will just dismiss it when they think of it as Taoism. That is the 'tag' that is used on Lao Tzu's philosophy. But if you can stop thinking that it is different from your own religion....and just let the meaning of the words sink in, you may just learn something from a man who lived a very long time ago and seems to have pretty much figured out how to live in harmony, humility , happiness and peace. And isn't that pretty much what we all strive for anyway? If you just can't stop thinking of it as another religion (which it isn't...) just put the name God or Allah or Christ...or whatever you feel comfortable with, in place of The Tao, when you read the words. Gommy personally feels it is how God/Universe/Being/Source, thinks and would like us to think as well. There is nothing in the writings that would hurt a single person, fly, ant, plant or any other single thing in the world.
Here are a few examples of the very wise words of Lao Tzu, that Gommy would like to share:

1)I realize that all things change…therefore there is nothing for me to hold onto.
2)Do great things while they are still small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step..a tree grows from one seedling…a tower starts with one brick.
3)The less I care about the approval of others….the more approval I receive. I work in trusting all others to know their own highest nature…rather than imposing my own rules and regulations on them. Therefore, I am free to be myself, without having to live by anyone elses’ rules.
4)I attract cooperation when I release the need to control anyone’s life…including my own!
5)I am an immortal Spiritual Being…having a temporary human experience.
6)I gain by losing…I lose by gaining.
7)If you must be a radical….choose to be a radical in humility or to be radical in appreciation.
8)I do not need rules to be kind and just.
9)When my cup is full…I will quit pouring.
10)Fame or integrity: which is more important?Money or happiness: which is more valuable?Success or failure: which is more destructive? You choose.
11)If you look to others for fulfillment,you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money,you will never be happy with yourself.
12)Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.When you realize there is nothing lacking,the whole world belongs to you.
13)The Tao (you can replace Tao with God here) never expects anything, yet through it all, things are done.
14)If powerful men and women could venture themselves in 'IT', the whole world would be transformed by itself, in its natural rhythms.People would be content with their simple, everyday lives, in harmony, and free of desire.
15)When there is no desire, all things are at peace.
16)If you want to shrink something,you must first allow it to expand.If you want to get rid of something,you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something,you must first allow it to be given.This is called the subtle perception of the way things are.
17)The soft overcomes the hard.The slow overcomes the fast.
18)Let your workings remain a mystery.

There are several more....but these resonated with me the most. Gommy can't find anything in any of these thoughts that are harmful to anyone or anything. And it may just be more beneficial to the world if we could and would live this way. But.....alas....we are all in charge of our own destiny.....or our life experiences. So, do as you will....but Gommy is going to work on trying to live this way and I bet life will seem happier, more harmonious and peaceful. Anyone who wants to try it is invited to come along with Gommy....you can do it....Gommy is pulling for you. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

Yes Virginia...There is a God!

Hello Boys and Girls. Gommy has been studying about this consciousness 'stuff' and, awareness, God/Universe/Being/Source, etc… and for the life of me….I can’t understand how anyone can think this all just ‘happened’ in some Big Bang coincidence. There is too much perfection in everything from atmospheres, tides, flora-fauna, the planets, stars, galaxies and even in we humans. There are soooo many things that go on in a human body that we usually don’t even think about. Like; where are the words in your brain stored that is able to read this right now? What is making you breath in and out, keeping your heart beating, or having our white cells know which germ to attack and which to leave alone because it is healthy? Where is the color red or blue or green in your brain? Where was it before you had the thought of a particular color and brought it forth? Where are your emotions stored? How does grass grow on the sides of hills and mountains, that were not planted, so there isn’t erosion? Did you know the birds and other animals eat the seeds and then as they eliminate them from their systems….new grass is ‘planted’ elsewhere. Why does that happen? Just coincidence? I think not. It has been carefully orchestrated by a being much, much, much smarter than we could ever imagine with our miniscule understanding. I was reading about how Salmon find their way back home to spawn…..how Homing Pigeons also find their way back home, even if they are let loose hundreds of miles away….and how Bees ‘see’ differently than humans so they can find the different flowers they need for food and to germinate other flowers for procreation of the plant.

It got Gommy to thinking….hmmmmm. All of these creatures use and are actually energy in some form or fashion to navigate their way around. And seeing we are ALL made up of energy,….humans as well as animals, fish, flora (yes, even flowers, trees and plants are energy). We all remember learning about photosynthesis in Science class don’t we? (Photosynthesis - a metabolic pathway that converts light energy into chemical energy)…then we must all be interconnected by all of our energies ‘feeding’ off each other.

If anyone has ever wondered how God created everything to work precisely how it is supposed to work…..this is a little hint. It is how the Divine Laws of the Universe work all the time…whether or not you choose to believe them. God doesn’t have an ego, so don’t worry about hurting His feelings. He couldn’t be bothered by such nit-picky emotions, so he makes sure things keep working as they should whether you agree with His methods or not. Thank God…lol…God had to design everything to work perfectly…no matter what. That is why when bad stuff happens…..you shouldn’t blame God. Bad stuff just does happen. It isn't God trying to ruin your day or your life.

It mostly happens when we aren’t completely in the ‘NOW’. Think about the last time you tripped over something, or you had a fender bender, or you went passed the street you were supposed to turn on. You did those things when you had let your mind wander away from what your attention was supposed to be focused on.

The same thing happens when we are living in the past or looking forward to the future. We are not tending to our NOW. Our NOW is all we really have. So, it would be wise to nurture it….pay attention to it…. and savor it. While we are thinking of other stuff….our present NOW is not getting our very deserved undivided attention. That is when stuff happens that isn’t what we want to happen.

It can happen to a marriage, a job, raising a child….(fill in the blank here). That is why you hear people say….time flies or I can’t believe I am this age or what happened to my romantic marriage or my innocent children. Or I haven’t heard from my old friend (fill in the blank) in a long time. Or where did the time go? Gommy will tell you where it went….It went somewhere fast….when you weren’t paying any attention to it.

The only time that we don’t think of time is when we are so absorbed in something that we love, love, love doing that we don’t even think of a clock or the time. But what happens then, is that whatever it was that you were so engrossed in….turns out to have a wonderful outcome and is very rewarding and enjoyable. That works for raising your children, enjoying friendships, having a happy marriage or loving the work you do for your living.

So, take the time to enjoy the important things in life. It will be so much more enjoyable for you…I promise. You can do it….Gommy is pulling for you.

Oh....and in case you don’t believe Gommy about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees….here are some interesting facts (below) about how God made sure all this wonderful stuff we get to enjoy…. actually does work!!! It’s the Universal Laws at work folks….whether you believe it or not. Hugs & Mush, Gommy

How is it that homing pigeons find their way home?

This has been an area of intense research in recent years. It turns out that pigeons and a number of other species including bats have metal deposits in their heads. These metal deposits, hematite, are iron and they're magnetically sensitive. They use the Earth's magnetic field as a kind of compass (and you need energy to create a magnetic field). They know the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and so by using sunrise and sunset they are able to gain timing. They set their compass according to where the sun is at certain times. That gives them their compass directions. By changing their orientation relative to the Earth's magnetic field they are able to navigate. They use this as a broad directional cue. At the same time they also use visual cues because they have the hippocampus part of their brain, which registers where they are in relation to their environment.

How do salmon find the way back to their spawning grounds?

Scientists do not know exactly how a salmon "remembers" the way back to its native stream after an ocean journey possibly lasting several years and covering several thousand miles. They agree, however, that salmon, like homing pigeons, appear to have an innate compass or "search recognition" mechanism that does not rely on the sun, moon, stars, or physical signs. Some scientists theorize that the salmon's internal compass uses the tiny electrical voltages, generated by ocean currents, moving through the earth's magnetic field. Others believe that the salmon's homing mechanism may take its cues from the varying salinities (levels of saltiness) of the water or the specific smells encountered along the journey.

Can Bees See Color?

Yes, which is how bees can navigate (using the sun as a reference) even on a cloudy day, because Ultraviolet light passes through clouds. Just as we see the sun in a blue sky background on a clear day, theBee sees the sun in an ultraviolet sky background on even a cloudy day. The underlying reason that the sky appears ultraviolet to a bee (and blue to us) is that something happens to the sun's rays when they hit charged particles. These charged particles are in the ionosphere and in Nitrogen and Oxygen "dipoles" in the atmosphere. The sun's radiation will cause the charged particle to vibrate, and when the charged particle vibrates it re-radiates energy. If you work out the mathematics (physics) of this re-radiation, it turns out that the energy is re-radiated in proportion to the fourth power of the frequency (as discovered by Raleigh in the 1800's and worked out with a more accurate distribution formula by Einstein early in the 20th century). For humans, who have eyes that have blue, yellow and red sensors, the fourth power formula means that blue from the sky is ten times stronger than red, so the sky looks blue. Similarly, for bees (and other insects), the highest frequency sensors in their eyes detect ultraviolet), and so the sky appears ultraviolet to them.

TOLD YA’ ;-)))

I Miss You

Today is 18 years since my son Terry and daughter Tiffany were killed in a car accident. It seems like yesterday that the horrendous news of them dying burned a hole in my heart and in my life. The loss of a child is the most life altering tragedy imaginable. While you were once a mother of three….in the blink of an eye…..you are without two of your three children.

When you have children who have died…..there comes a time when there is a problem with explaining your circumstances to people when they ask, “How many children do you have?” What you want to say is that you have three children…..but in reality you have one living and two that are no longer of this earth. No matter what the circumstances…..I will always be the mother of three…. but do I dare go into a long explanation of my whole life situation? What I have come to learn over time is that the moment you say you have lost children…the other person begins to actually squirm and recoil right in front of you and you feel yourself becoming sorry for THEM. This is because you can see that they don’t have any idea of what to say after you answer what is usually quite a benign question.

But you don’t want to NOT include your other children in the picture. You still love them as much as ever. You still cherish the time you spent with them. You still wonder what they would look like today…..what music they would like…..what TV shows or movies they might like to watch. There isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t think of them in some way or have some memory of the time you did spend with them. This time of the year is always a paradox for me too, in that I used to LOVE the Fall of the year and now when I am enjoying it, the memory of the accident returns…..and it makes me wish we could just delete October 26 from all calendars.

Just the other day I went to the Mall and passed a Wet Seal clothing store. My Tiffany loved that store. Tiff was really into Fashion. So, I just smiled as I walked by and said (actually aloud, but softly enough so no one would think I was batty), “Hey Tiff….bet you’d like to be shopping in there today.” And I surely wish that I was shopping in there with her toooooo……sigh……

And every time I see someone on a motorcycle, I think of my gorgeous son Terry. He loved motorcycles. He even raced them at motorcycle track venues. YIKES…too scary for me to have watched, but he certainly did enjoy riding his 'bike'. His two children are pretty much grown now. Megan is 18 and Terry will be 20 in January. My Terry would be so proud of his kids. I can still see him carrying his Terry around when we was a baby, as if he was the first and only child ever born. His love just oozed out all over him. Now that LLT is grown…it is eerie to see how much he looks like his Dad. They are both hunky hunks…..(spoken like a true Mom and Gommy, right?). LLT is planning on going into the Army and becoming an Airborne Ranger, just like his Dad. Terry never had the opportunity to meet Megan because he died before he could see her. But he would be super proud of her as well. She is a sweetheart, funny like her Dad, a caring human being, a very smart girl and a beauty all wrapped up in one special ‘package’.

So, do I miss my beautiful children? You bet I do. But I have the most wonderful memories of the special times we shared that all I have to do is close my eyes and relive them, any time I want (and I want A LOT….and often!). Do I still grieve? Yes, but not in the cloying way when we first learned of their accident. I will always grieve but I am also very grateful for having had them in my life. Do I wish I could see their beautiful faces again or hear their sweet voice call me Mom again…..ahhhh…..yes, yes, yes!!! But there is a saying that goes, ‘Don’t cry because it ended….smile because it happened.’ Boy, is that ever a truism. I would not trade one single minute of the awesome times we shared. I read a beautiful thought somewhere…it said, “Even the most exquisite silk will remain intact if you pull out a thread…..but the snag will always show.” That is how it is when we lose a member of our family. The family is still somewhat intact….but the absence is always felt. And just as poignant is the wording from an Irish Headstone: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” Amen to that!

But somehow, in the rubble of what was left of the “Me”, the me I always pictured myself as….was the crack in my awareness that led me to the beginning of knowing what life’s purpose is all about. I knew I had to stay around for my beautiful daughter Tracey and for that I am most grateful. Because she has since given me many more blessings to be thankful for in her wonderful and sweet family. And the adult friendship between a mother and a daughter that we share is extraordinary.

Several years later, I found myself facing serious financial woes from the upside down economy…. and the once again, all too familiar uncertainty of the path that my journey was leading me. But I then became aware that in losing all material wealth, and having nothing else to lose in that area of my life….that my journey was once again showing me life lessons to grow from. The realization that I have and have always had…all I need in life... and that everything that has happened to me along the way and everything that will never happen to me…..all make up ‘Me’. I still have the most amazing family and friends, whether I have material things or not. I still had been blessed with three amazing children that showed me how deep love can be. But I had to lose me (or what I thought comprised ‘me’) to find me….ironic isn’t it? I have come to learn that it takes a thunderous jolt in life to begin searching and finding your spirituality. When all is well….there is no need. I think if you speak to most people who search…..you will find that something earth shattering occurred that began their journey.

As I said, I still have so many blessings in my life. I have a great husband to share the rest of my journey with and I find comfort in that sharing. I have the most amazing daughter Tracey. She is my friend as well as my daughter. Tracey has a great husband, John and they have two beautiful children (Samantha and Brandon) who my husband and I get to spend time with and still make beautiful memories with. And my husband’s son Michael has a beautiful daughter Kyra with his fiancée Fio, who we get to see and be with and enjoy. And my Tracey is an awesome Aunt to Megan and Terry. She loves them dearly and would do anything for them. Just as Terry & Tiffany would be such a great Aunt and Uncle to Tracey’s children and to their stepbrother Michael’s daughter Kyra. Boy, time sure does march on. My son Terry’s wife Deana has stayed close to us all of these years and still keeps in touch with us. And my grown-up grands, Megan and Terry come visit when time allows in their very busy life. Life IS good!!!! Thank you God…..

Over the past year, Terry & Megan (and my daughter Tracey and I) have had the awesome opportunity of connecting with some of my Terry’s Army Ranger buddies through Facebook. It is truly amazing to see their pictures of Terry that I have never seen and read the kind words of what a special human being, friend and role model Terry was for them. Thanks guys. It means a lot to our family.

A dear friend of mine sent me an email about the word DASH the other day. The idea was that when we die, the date of our birth and the date of our death are put on a headstone. In between those two dates, is a dash. The dash represents the life of the person. All of the people, events, ups and downs and the loves of the person are in that dash. I am so very grateful that I was in the ‘DASH’ of Terry and Tiffanys’ life.

I often hear people say they tell their stories to help others who may have to face the same thing they have had to face. If my story can help any other parent who has or may still be faced with the overwhelming sadness that comes with the loss of a child, then I am glad if I helped a bit. I hope they can take away from my story that we can survive such unbelievable grief.…that there will come a time when you can think of your loved ones and smile without sobbing…. And you will eventually get to the place where you can soften that grief or perhaps replace some of it with the gratitude of having had them in your life. So, here’s to two very wonderful, special, deeply loved and very missed children…..my babies. And you will always be my babies. I love you Terry and Tiffany and I will…forever and ever. We all miss you bunches and we will never forget you! It’s another year away from you….but maybe it’s just another year closer to seeing you once again. Thank you for being a special part of my journey. Hugs & Mush, Mom