Gommy wants to share something a 90 year old woman from Cleveland, Ohio wrote in a local paper and it says volumes about getting older and all the good things and wisdom that we learn as we age.....Goms has tweaked some to her liking:
1. Life isn't always fair...but it is always good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. The family and friends that you have
taken time with will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree on some things.
7. Cry with someone. It is more healing than crying alone.
8. It's O.K. to get angry with God.....he can take it.
9. Start saving for retirement...... with your first paycheck.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your future.
11. It's O.K. to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life with others....you have no idea what their journey is about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret.....you shouldn't be in it.
14. Things can change in a blink of an eye....but don't worry....God never blinks.
15. Take a deep breath...it calms the mind.
16. Get rid of anything in your life that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
17.Whatever doesn't kill you....really does make you stronger.
18. It's never too late to have a happy childhood...but the second one is up to you.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy nightgown.....don't save it for a
special occasion......today IS special.
20. Prepare...........then go with the flow.
21. Don't wait....be eccentric now.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every potential 'disaster' with, "In five years will this matter?"
25. Forgive everyone - everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals most everything.....give time TIME.
28. However good or bad a situation is...........it will change.
29. Don't take yourself so seriously...........no one else does.
30. Believe in miracles.
31. God loves you because of who God is....not because of anything you did.
32. Growing old beats the alternative.
33. Your children only have one childhood.
34. Stay on the right side of the sod....
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
37. No matter how you feel..... get up, get dressed and get out.....
38. Yield.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile, and got to see everyone elses'....we'd pick ours.
AND MAYBE THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL!!!!
40. Life may not always be tied in a pretty bow....but it is still a gift.
Hope you got something out of some or all of these gems...Have a great day boys and girl. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Great Big Thank You !
Gommy wants to say 'Thank You' to all my 'peeps' today......those would be all the nice people who follow 'gommysgoodies' and have taken the time to tell Goms how inspired they are by my 'blogs' and how I should never quit writing them because they read them every day and look forward to each blog and how they get so much out of it....Wellllll, Hallelujah!!!!....that is exactly why Gommy writes her blogs....to help people with things in their life, through examples of times in my life. Sometimes we need to hear what other people are going through to realize we are not going through it alone or that we are not the only ones going through a tough time. It must be working because it is very nice to hear how much Gommy touches so many people. Aw shucks..........you are making Gommy blush :-))) THANK YOU GUYS.....
There are so many things Gommy has in her mind that I can pass on to people. Like the examples of what Gommy did or went through at sad or troubling times in my life. Or the happy times Gommy has shared with my children and grandchildren and how it is not wise to over-step your childrens' parenting choices with their children....Or how to avoid trouble at the Holidays or different family get-togethers of our lives.....Now, some of these examples may work for some people and may definitely not be the way to go for another person...........but if anything that Goms has gone through can help someone else.....I'll be happy to share. So, all you followers out there who like my blogs......I'll be around for a while....God willing....AMEN !!!
So many times in our life, we wonder, "Am I the only one who feels this way?" Or..... "How can I or how should I handle this or that?" It helps it come into focus if we hear how someone else handles things. But, if you like Goms advice, you would love it if Grandpa Mike had a blog....He would tell you some of his ideas on handling certain things that come up in ones life. Grandpa Mike is a perfect example of a very good person. No, really....I can't emphasize it enough that he is a VERY good person.....There is even a picture of Grandpa Mike in the dictionary under - VERY GOOD PEOPLE ;) !!!! He is truly abnormally fair with issues or confrontations that arise and he never gets flustered. Geesh....that is hard to do! Sometimes Gommy doesn't like to admit that he is right, if we are the ones having the disagreement, but if Goms gives it a few days, it becomes clearer that Grandpa Mike has made some very good points. In altercations or disagreements of any proportion, he keeps his head clear, never raises his voice and can weigh both sides of an issue....WOW...how does he do that? AND he does it without bias.....That is the trickiest part, because we all have biases. It is innate. But, somehow he does it. If more people were like Grandpa, there would be a whole lot more peace in the world and a lot less nastiness....
So, some of the 'wisdom' Gommy shares, has been learned over the 24 years of living with Grandpa Mike and observing how he behaves. It is harder to do than to admire in him though.....I'll tell you that for sure....But I guess we can all learn from our spouses if we give it a chance. Remember, there is a lid for every pot....and Grandpa is my lid. Thank you God. We have gone through a lot in our years together and what Goms has come to learn is that old saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you closer and stronger"....and we surely are a very strong and much closer couple. I am grateful for the years we have been lucky enough to share together. He is my rock.....Thank you Grandpa!
Once again...let Gommy say thank you to all of you nice and thoughtful people who have taken the time to let me know that you like and appreciate what Goms has to say and share with you......See you next time boys and girls. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
(PS....B.B.F.-you know who you are sweetie- I never wrote anything in any of my blogs about what happened all those years ago about you......my blogs are MY blogs and some times we may 'think' it is about us (or anyone) because it hits a nerve in us.....but it wasn't about you....promise......still love you sweetie....and always will) ;)
There are so many things Gommy has in her mind that I can pass on to people. Like the examples of what Gommy did or went through at sad or troubling times in my life. Or the happy times Gommy has shared with my children and grandchildren and how it is not wise to over-step your childrens' parenting choices with their children....Or how to avoid trouble at the Holidays or different family get-togethers of our lives.....Now, some of these examples may work for some people and may definitely not be the way to go for another person...........but if anything that Goms has gone through can help someone else.....I'll be happy to share. So, all you followers out there who like my blogs......I'll be around for a while....God willing....AMEN !!!
So many times in our life, we wonder, "Am I the only one who feels this way?" Or..... "How can I or how should I handle this or that?" It helps it come into focus if we hear how someone else handles things. But, if you like Goms advice, you would love it if Grandpa Mike had a blog....He would tell you some of his ideas on handling certain things that come up in ones life. Grandpa Mike is a perfect example of a very good person. No, really....I can't emphasize it enough that he is a VERY good person.....There is even a picture of Grandpa Mike in the dictionary under - VERY GOOD PEOPLE ;) !!!! He is truly abnormally fair with issues or confrontations that arise and he never gets flustered. Geesh....that is hard to do! Sometimes Gommy doesn't like to admit that he is right, if we are the ones having the disagreement, but if Goms gives it a few days, it becomes clearer that Grandpa Mike has made some very good points. In altercations or disagreements of any proportion, he keeps his head clear, never raises his voice and can weigh both sides of an issue....WOW...how does he do that? AND he does it without bias.....That is the trickiest part, because we all have biases. It is innate. But, somehow he does it. If more people were like Grandpa, there would be a whole lot more peace in the world and a lot less nastiness....
So, some of the 'wisdom' Gommy shares, has been learned over the 24 years of living with Grandpa Mike and observing how he behaves. It is harder to do than to admire in him though.....I'll tell you that for sure....But I guess we can all learn from our spouses if we give it a chance. Remember, there is a lid for every pot....and Grandpa is my lid. Thank you God. We have gone through a lot in our years together and what Goms has come to learn is that old saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you closer and stronger"....and we surely are a very strong and much closer couple. I am grateful for the years we have been lucky enough to share together. He is my rock.....Thank you Grandpa!
Once again...let Gommy say thank you to all of you nice and thoughtful people who have taken the time to let me know that you like and appreciate what Goms has to say and share with you......See you next time boys and girls. Hugs & Mush, Gommy
(PS....B.B.F.-you know who you are sweetie- I never wrote anything in any of my blogs about what happened all those years ago about you......my blogs are MY blogs and some times we may 'think' it is about us (or anyone) because it hits a nerve in us.....but it wasn't about you....promise......still love you sweetie....and always will) ;)
Monday, October 12, 2009
We Don't Get to Choose....
HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY EVERYONE!!!! Hope some of you out there in blogland got the day off.....
Today, Gommy wants to talk about life situations that involve the people in our lives. It turns out in life, work, family, in-laws, school, exchanges with our exes and on and on, and virtually in every chance meeting or relationship we have.......that we don't always get to choose who we communicate or MIS-communicate with. We may not enjoy being with the people we have to interact with, but what we do have to figure out is a way to get along with each other. We do live in a CIVIL-ization......so we must, at least, be civil. That is because we are going to be sharing a dorm room, our work space, a lab desk, a seat in the car of our carpool, time with our kids friends and parents at sporting events, and the BIGGIE of allllll.........a place at the Thanksgiving Day table with family, in-laws, extended family and friends...... and friends of friends. Some of which we can't abide and would never choose to spend time with except that it is expected at certain times.....YIKES!!!!
Darn.......why does it have to be so hard to act the way we are supposed to act? But....how exactly are we supposed to act??? What IS normal? Is it normal to have to act a certain way when we know someone doesn't want to be around us either? And are we are expected to act 'normally', all the while we are passing the mashed potatoes?.....Doesn't feel so normal does it????
It makes us seem mean to want to avoid some people but it can be very uncomfortable just being around certain people, like if you work with them every day..... and what are we supposed to do with those emotions???? Gommy suggests to try not to let those feelings define us......There are always going to be people who we would rather not spend time with, but it is mandatory.....sooooooo we had better find a way to enjoy the time we have to spend while in their company.
First, try to find something likable about them...........not working yet? Keep trying....I bet none of us are so perfect that EVERYONE loves to be around us all the time either. Like Goms has 'preached' so many times in other blogs.....be the person to others that you want them to be to you. It really is true that kindness begets kindness, gratefulness begets gratefulness, forgiveness begets forgiveness, etc. etc., etc. Just the same way that meanness begets meanness, hatefulness begets hatefulness, jealousy begets jealousy, etc., etc., etc. Goms knows it can be VERY hard to hide how we are feeling....but the end result could be that we have a more pleasant time than we were dreading.....
If we could all just feel in our hearts the way the 'Currier and Ives' paintings make us feel, with the snow covered lanes and the horses carrying families to relatives homes, we would have good tidings and cheer and best wishes for everyone. It can't be that hard now can it? Sadly, Gommy thinks it must be that hard or things would be a lot more peaceful in the world. Because people would be putting other peoples' feelings into the scenario before they lashed out or said something hurtful. It all goes back to the "Do Unto Others" proverb.
Soooooo, seeing we sometimes don't get to choose who we will be spending time with.....try to be coming up with ideas of how to make this a much nicer Holiday Season for everyone. If you can't think of ways to get along.....you better think of ways of how to 'deal'....'cause it's happening......ready or not.....Have a nice day everyone and start jotting down things that will make this next Holiday a more peaceful one. It may be that we just have to keep our mouths shut.....except for when we are eating that delicious turkey and mashed potatoes ......Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
Today, Gommy wants to talk about life situations that involve the people in our lives. It turns out in life, work, family, in-laws, school, exchanges with our exes and on and on, and virtually in every chance meeting or relationship we have.......that we don't always get to choose who we communicate or MIS-communicate with. We may not enjoy being with the people we have to interact with, but what we do have to figure out is a way to get along with each other. We do live in a CIVIL-ization......so we must, at least, be civil. That is because we are going to be sharing a dorm room, our work space, a lab desk, a seat in the car of our carpool, time with our kids friends and parents at sporting events, and the BIGGIE of allllll.........a place at the Thanksgiving Day table with family, in-laws, extended family and friends...... and friends of friends. Some of which we can't abide and would never choose to spend time with except that it is expected at certain times.....YIKES!!!!
Darn.......why does it have to be so hard to act the way we are supposed to act? But....how exactly are we supposed to act??? What IS normal? Is it normal to have to act a certain way when we know someone doesn't want to be around us either? And are we are expected to act 'normally', all the while we are passing the mashed potatoes?.....Doesn't feel so normal does it????
It makes us seem mean to want to avoid some people but it can be very uncomfortable just being around certain people, like if you work with them every day..... and what are we supposed to do with those emotions???? Gommy suggests to try not to let those feelings define us......There are always going to be people who we would rather not spend time with, but it is mandatory.....sooooooo we had better find a way to enjoy the time we have to spend while in their company.
First, try to find something likable about them...........not working yet? Keep trying....I bet none of us are so perfect that EVERYONE loves to be around us all the time either. Like Goms has 'preached' so many times in other blogs.....be the person to others that you want them to be to you. It really is true that kindness begets kindness, gratefulness begets gratefulness, forgiveness begets forgiveness, etc. etc., etc. Just the same way that meanness begets meanness, hatefulness begets hatefulness, jealousy begets jealousy, etc., etc., etc. Goms knows it can be VERY hard to hide how we are feeling....but the end result could be that we have a more pleasant time than we were dreading.....
If we could all just feel in our hearts the way the 'Currier and Ives' paintings make us feel, with the snow covered lanes and the horses carrying families to relatives homes, we would have good tidings and cheer and best wishes for everyone. It can't be that hard now can it? Sadly, Gommy thinks it must be that hard or things would be a lot more peaceful in the world. Because people would be putting other peoples' feelings into the scenario before they lashed out or said something hurtful. It all goes back to the "Do Unto Others" proverb.
Soooooo, seeing we sometimes don't get to choose who we will be spending time with.....try to be coming up with ideas of how to make this a much nicer Holiday Season for everyone. If you can't think of ways to get along.....you better think of ways of how to 'deal'....'cause it's happening......ready or not.....Have a nice day everyone and start jotting down things that will make this next Holiday a more peaceful one. It may be that we just have to keep our mouths shut.....except for when we are eating that delicious turkey and mashed potatoes ......Hugs and Mush, Gommy ((*.*))
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Social Networks
Happy Sunday all you sweeties out there in blogland. You know who you are and sadly, apparently there are some who it turns out aren't such sweeties out there and they know who they are as well.
That brings Gommy to thinking about Social Networks and how they can go all wrong if left in the hands of the wrong people. But it will never change that, how does the old saying go?...... 'one bad apple can ruin the whole barrel'. It has come to Goms' attention lately that some people are taking offense and hurting others with these wonderful sites. Goms knows that wasn't the intention of the brilliant young people who invented and developed all the new sites that allow us to keep in touch with friends and family.
Gommy hadn't even heard of Facebook a few months ago.But after joining Facebook and absolutely loving how it was so easy reconnecting with friends from my waaaaay, waaaaay long ago past and with family and even my current friends and friends I was missing in the last place Grandpa and I lived, Goms just loved being able to keep up with everyone. Facebook has even been a conduit to sharing this blog with more people.
A friend of mine just unsubscribed to Facebook yesterday and I was so sad to hear that. Apparently it had caused some problems at work when other people read something they didn't like or something.....If the truth be known, what they read had nothing to do with them, but being the human beings we all are.....we assume everything HAS to be about us....right???? NO...that isn't right. Things only touch your heart or make you mad if you HAVE done something that you are taking offense to. These networks were meant to stay and keep in touch with people more easily and for us to write a 'short' update about what we are doing, what our kids are doing or show pictures of the kids and grandkids....yada,yada,yada. It was not meant to discuss politics, your sex life, someone you don't like at work, your personal finances......those are things that ARE and should STAY personal and private or you can put in a blog if you don't think or care if they will cause you any repercussions. Goms even answered a few times about some political issues until I realized that I don't really care what other people think about my politics.....that is why they are MINE....
Now, let Goms state again, right now, that this is Goms' opinion......and it is still a free country, so I will continue to blog about MY opinions.......if anyone doesn't like what I blog about......sorry, but maybe you shouldn't click onto my site. There are plenty of other generic blogs out there to read that are about flowers, photography, nature.....etc., you know blogs that can't offend you.
Another thing that Goms thinks can come back to hurt you someday is when you put something that is distasteful or 'dirty' on your site page. Goms sees all sorts of things that people 'share' out there on these networks that can come back to 'haunt' them when they get out of college and their boss looks up their 'status page' to see what sort of person is applying for some prestigious position....and don't think just because you didn't 'friend' them that they can't see it through someone else's Facebook page. Remember.....all this stuff is out there in the Ethernet FOREVER!!!! YIKES :0).......I remember something my grandmother used to say that was a quote from a 1600's clergyman named Thomas Fuller.....it was ...., 'Fools names and fools faces always appear in public places.' (sic) What Goms thinks he meant is that 'foolish' people don't stop to think how something will affect them or a friend or family member by putting 'stuff' out there for everyone to see and read. Remember Goms' blog on using a 'filter'.....(the one you should use in your thinking brain BEFORE you share it with the whole world........?
Soooooo take a deep breath boys and girls and people all over.....and start thinking with your brain before you engage your fingers on the keyboard, to how it will affect someone or anyone that is going to read it. And they ARE going to read it......... Have a great week everyone..........Gommy is surely going to have a great week... ;) Hugs and Mush to all!!!!
That brings Gommy to thinking about Social Networks and how they can go all wrong if left in the hands of the wrong people. But it will never change that, how does the old saying go?...... 'one bad apple can ruin the whole barrel'. It has come to Goms' attention lately that some people are taking offense and hurting others with these wonderful sites. Goms knows that wasn't the intention of the brilliant young people who invented and developed all the new sites that allow us to keep in touch with friends and family.
Gommy hadn't even heard of Facebook a few months ago.But after joining Facebook and absolutely loving how it was so easy reconnecting with friends from my waaaaay, waaaaay long ago past and with family and even my current friends and friends I was missing in the last place Grandpa and I lived, Goms just loved being able to keep up with everyone. Facebook has even been a conduit to sharing this blog with more people.
A friend of mine just unsubscribed to Facebook yesterday and I was so sad to hear that. Apparently it had caused some problems at work when other people read something they didn't like or something.....If the truth be known, what they read had nothing to do with them, but being the human beings we all are.....we assume everything HAS to be about us....right???? NO...that isn't right. Things only touch your heart or make you mad if you HAVE done something that you are taking offense to. These networks were meant to stay and keep in touch with people more easily and for us to write a 'short' update about what we are doing, what our kids are doing or show pictures of the kids and grandkids....yada,yada,yada. It was not meant to discuss politics, your sex life, someone you don't like at work, your personal finances......those are things that ARE and should STAY personal and private or you can put in a blog if you don't think or care if they will cause you any repercussions. Goms even answered a few times about some political issues until I realized that I don't really care what other people think about my politics.....that is why they are MINE....
Now, let Goms state again, right now, that this is Goms' opinion......and it is still a free country, so I will continue to blog about MY opinions.......if anyone doesn't like what I blog about......sorry, but maybe you shouldn't click onto my site. There are plenty of other generic blogs out there to read that are about flowers, photography, nature.....etc., you know blogs that can't offend you.
Another thing that Goms thinks can come back to hurt you someday is when you put something that is distasteful or 'dirty' on your site page. Goms sees all sorts of things that people 'share' out there on these networks that can come back to 'haunt' them when they get out of college and their boss looks up their 'status page' to see what sort of person is applying for some prestigious position....and don't think just because you didn't 'friend' them that they can't see it through someone else's Facebook page. Remember.....all this stuff is out there in the Ethernet FOREVER!!!! YIKES :0).......I remember something my grandmother used to say that was a quote from a 1600's clergyman named Thomas Fuller.....it was ...., 'Fools names and fools faces always appear in public places.' (sic) What Goms thinks he meant is that 'foolish' people don't stop to think how something will affect them or a friend or family member by putting 'stuff' out there for everyone to see and read. Remember Goms' blog on using a 'filter'.....(the one you should use in your thinking brain BEFORE you share it with the whole world........?
Soooooo take a deep breath boys and girls and people all over.....and start thinking with your brain before you engage your fingers on the keyboard, to how it will affect someone or anyone that is going to read it. And they ARE going to read it......... Have a great week everyone..........Gommy is surely going to have a great week... ;) Hugs and Mush to all!!!!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A New Day - AGAIN!!!
First, let Gommy say that any posts in 'gommysgoodies' are from experiences and lessons learned in Gommys' life and are not pointed in anyone elses direction. If people take offense, Goms apologizes in advance. There is a choice to read 'gommysgoodies'....it is not mandatory in any way, so if you find that you are offended.....please do not log on;) Gommys' blog was meant to express my 'own' musings and thougts and maybe help others from perhaps making the same mistakes or pointing out how it is not important to focus on the negative and to appreciate what we all have been given in this wonderful life. They are lessons Gommy has acquired over the years from my own past mistakes, my own yearnings, my own years of experience from living, rearing children, enjoying my daughter and living long enough to enjoy our grandchildren......it is not and has never been meant to be a platform for vengefulness.....;)
It has been some time since Gommy has written anything in my blog and there is a very good reason for that....Goms was recently tempted into reverting back to an old way of dealing with things and not the way things SHOULD be handled. It is sooooo easy to fall down that slippery slope when someone provokes you. But if you keep your head about you and take the deep breaths Gommy has 'preached' about in earlier blogs......it will come back to center once again. It takes a concerted effort though, so don't think it just happens. 'Practice, practice and more practice and patience, patience and more patience' will have to be your 'mantra' when something comes along to test what you have 'said' or 'done' at an earlier time. Putting a mirror in front of our face is a very good way to see where we are really coming from. Of course, we have to be honest too. That is the tricky part. Saying and doing are two extremes if you say one thing and do another.
If a deed or hurtful thing was done or said and it affects someone that you love and their relationship with their family.......that is enough of a reason to just let the deed or words go and be the higher 'you' and not let it go any further. It is a wise person who knows when to keep your thoughts to yourself (even though it is very difficult at times). If you have done or said something in the past that was hurtful, you must apologize and hopefully it will diffuse the situation. If the other party isn't willing to let it go.....you must gather up every ounce of your 'higher you' and just deal with whatever the circumstances throw at you. Think of it as a learning experience. If you do really learn from it.....all was not lost. Maybe you will feel uncomfortable around that person, but you are doing whatever you have to do for the person you love and when you keep doing the right thing.....all will be all right at some point.
This month will be 17 years since Gommy lost two children in a car accident. It is always a very sad time of the year for Goms. It makes everything else that is going on in the world seem quite incidental and not really very important in the scheme of things. Gommy hopes you never have to experience it, but if you have ever lost a child, you will know what that hurt feels like. If you haven't had to go through it, no one can ever know the depth of pain and the void that it leaves in your heart and life.
So, what Goms is trying to say is I am going to try to stay on the path of looking forward and not backwards. The past is the past and the future is ahead and all we really have is the present. So, if you are holding onto any grudges or feel you must relive past trespasses, try to look beyond and know it is hurting more than just the people involved in the disagreement.
The Holidays are coming and that is a time that should be happy and merry for everyone. It would be very selfish to make everyone else unable to enjoy their Holiday because of a disagreement. Life is too short to ruin even one day.....
So, if anyone out there in 'blogland' needs to apply this blog to your life.....please give it some thought. Let sleeping dogs lie and if you don't want to listen to Gommy, there is a much higher authority you should listen to.........and do as the Bible says; "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." AMEN and Hugs & Mush, Gommy
It has been some time since Gommy has written anything in my blog and there is a very good reason for that....Goms was recently tempted into reverting back to an old way of dealing with things and not the way things SHOULD be handled. It is sooooo easy to fall down that slippery slope when someone provokes you. But if you keep your head about you and take the deep breaths Gommy has 'preached' about in earlier blogs......it will come back to center once again. It takes a concerted effort though, so don't think it just happens. 'Practice, practice and more practice and patience, patience and more patience' will have to be your 'mantra' when something comes along to test what you have 'said' or 'done' at an earlier time. Putting a mirror in front of our face is a very good way to see where we are really coming from. Of course, we have to be honest too. That is the tricky part. Saying and doing are two extremes if you say one thing and do another.
If a deed or hurtful thing was done or said and it affects someone that you love and their relationship with their family.......that is enough of a reason to just let the deed or words go and be the higher 'you' and not let it go any further. It is a wise person who knows when to keep your thoughts to yourself (even though it is very difficult at times). If you have done or said something in the past that was hurtful, you must apologize and hopefully it will diffuse the situation. If the other party isn't willing to let it go.....you must gather up every ounce of your 'higher you' and just deal with whatever the circumstances throw at you. Think of it as a learning experience. If you do really learn from it.....all was not lost. Maybe you will feel uncomfortable around that person, but you are doing whatever you have to do for the person you love and when you keep doing the right thing.....all will be all right at some point.
This month will be 17 years since Gommy lost two children in a car accident. It is always a very sad time of the year for Goms. It makes everything else that is going on in the world seem quite incidental and not really very important in the scheme of things. Gommy hopes you never have to experience it, but if you have ever lost a child, you will know what that hurt feels like. If you haven't had to go through it, no one can ever know the depth of pain and the void that it leaves in your heart and life.
So, what Goms is trying to say is I am going to try to stay on the path of looking forward and not backwards. The past is the past and the future is ahead and all we really have is the present. So, if you are holding onto any grudges or feel you must relive past trespasses, try to look beyond and know it is hurting more than just the people involved in the disagreement.
The Holidays are coming and that is a time that should be happy and merry for everyone. It would be very selfish to make everyone else unable to enjoy their Holiday because of a disagreement. Life is too short to ruin even one day.....
So, if anyone out there in 'blogland' needs to apply this blog to your life.....please give it some thought. Let sleeping dogs lie and if you don't want to listen to Gommy, there is a much higher authority you should listen to.........and do as the Bible says; "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." AMEN and Hugs & Mush, Gommy
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Tethered?
Gommy went to the beach today and it was the most beautiful, calm, peaceful, clear, gorgeous beach day in memory.....ahhhhhhhhh that's what I'm talkin' about! Anywho.....on the walk to the beach, (did Gommy mention the beach is within walking distance from home???), there was a man on in-line skates and his son, also on in-line skates, and they were just enjoying their skating down the road, within view of the beach. But the thing that Goms to thinking about TETHERING is that the Dad was holding a broom-like pole and the son was holding onto the other end. They were tethered together. It seemed like a great idea. The Dad could go along at his speed and not worry that the son would not be able to keep up with him. And the son could skate along for as long as he wanted and just 'coast' when he got tired.
Then that mental image got Goms to thinking about other types of tethering....like to your mommy (especially not so good if you are grown), or to your job, or your past.....you know - stuff you may not want nor need to be tethered to any longer.
For instance, if you are holding onto your past and it wasn't exactly 'all that' great....you should try to UN-tether yourself from dwelling on hurtful memories. Or if you can't 'cut the apron strings' with your parents and grow up, that is also a time to get out the old scissors (metaphorically speaking) and withdraw from mommy and daddy's approval (as long as they aren't providing you with any monetary help that is) and be on your own. If you are so tethered to your job that you can't enjoy your life or family....yup....getting UN-tether is the suggestion here. Get the concept yet?
And if you are holding a grudge against someone or a group of 'someones', you may need the help of some waaaaaay smarter people than Goms...........so Goms looked up some quotes from some of those waaaaay smarter people and here they are:
Ralph Waldo Emerson - 'Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.' Dolores Huerta -
'If you haven't forgiven yourself for something, how can you forgive others.' Lawana Blackwell -' The hatred you carry in your heart is far more damaging to you that to them.' Mahatma Gandhi - 'The weak can never forgive because forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' Oscar Wilde -'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much!' Real Live Preacher -'Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them
go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go on their way.'
AND FOR THE LAST QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Dr. David M. Burns -'Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.'
And finally..............if you just can't forgive and forget.......there is another really wise saying you should remember......'Let sleeping dogs lie'. What that means is that you don't know what sort of reaction you are going to get from a dog that is lying on the ground asleep and minding his own business. You get what you deserve if you provoke him. Have a nice day......Hugs, Gommy
Then that mental image got Goms to thinking about other types of tethering....like to your mommy (especially not so good if you are grown), or to your job, or your past.....you know - stuff you may not want nor need to be tethered to any longer.
For instance, if you are holding onto your past and it wasn't exactly 'all that' great....you should try to UN-tether yourself from dwelling on hurtful memories. Or if you can't 'cut the apron strings' with your parents and grow up, that is also a time to get out the old scissors (metaphorically speaking) and withdraw from mommy and daddy's approval (as long as they aren't providing you with any monetary help that is) and be on your own. If you are so tethered to your job that you can't enjoy your life or family....yup....getting UN-tether is the suggestion here. Get the concept yet?
And if you are holding a grudge against someone or a group of 'someones', you may need the help of some waaaaaay smarter people than Goms...........so Goms looked up some quotes from some of those waaaaay smarter people and here they are:
Ralph Waldo Emerson - 'Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.' Dolores Huerta -
'If you haven't forgiven yourself for something, how can you forgive others.' Lawana Blackwell -' The hatred you carry in your heart is far more damaging to you that to them.' Mahatma Gandhi - 'The weak can never forgive because forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' Oscar Wilde -'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much!' Real Live Preacher -'Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them
go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go on their way.'
AND FOR THE LAST QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Dr. David M. Burns -'Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.'
And finally..............if you just can't forgive and forget.......there is another really wise saying you should remember......'Let sleeping dogs lie'. What that means is that you don't know what sort of reaction you are going to get from a dog that is lying on the ground asleep and minding his own business. You get what you deserve if you provoke him. Have a nice day......Hugs, Gommy
Monday, September 28, 2009
Atonement
Isn't it funny how stories change over time? You know the 'grandmother' game......first a phrase is written down so no one can say later on, "No, that isn't what it (the written phrase) said!"......then you start off in a circle and whisper the phrase you were given in the ear of the person on your left....that person whispers what they 'heard' to the next person and on and on until the last person has to say what the phrase is.....guess what???? It is NEVER exactly how the phrase started out.
We as humans, have the habit of remembering how we want to remember things, instead of how they really were. Mostly because we bring our own emotional baggage into the equation. For instance, if someone says something about you and it is so very far from the truth......it will never bother you. If, on the other hand, it is a flaw that you recognize in yourself.....it will bug you to pieces. I guess that is where the phrase, "The truth hurts" comes from. And when someone tells you they have forgotten something that happened in the past, but they are obviously hanging onto it for dear life....that is usually because you have come too close to a trait that the person dislikes about themselves or has tried to overcome and is insulted that you 'went there' and they feel uncomfortable about reliving it....Or someone may call you a 'fake' and if you know you are not a 'fake' it will not bother you. But if you know deep down that you are a fake and someone is getting close to uncovering that truth about you.....it hurts your feelings. If we dig deep enough and are truthful enough with ourselves....the truth usually comes out.
My daughter taught me something she learned in college while she was studying psychology.....the teacher said if someone said you have green hair....how would you feel? It wouldn't bother you, would it? Because you KNOW you don't have green hair. If someone says you gave your child up (even though it was the right thing to do at the time) you would have that pang in your gut because you 'feel' you should have kept the child with you no matter what. But don't blame the person who DID take care of the child because you feel guilty. Instead be happy the child was taken care of by someone who obviously loved them very much, while you had to do your own thing at the time.....It is easy to 'blame' others for making you feel a certain way.....but the reality is that you are in charge of how you process what other people say to you in a hurtful way. If it really, really, really bothers you...there is probably some shred of the truth in what they said. If you say you have forgotten it and put it behind you.....but keep it alive and nurture it with hateful thoughts.....it is still there, isn't it? And if you spout off hurtful things back at the person.....are you really any different than what you were so upset with the person for in the first place?
The reason Gommy is talking about all this is that I have had to work on myself quite a bit over my many years. I have made mistakes over the years and there have been times of wishing things didn't happen a certain way. But we are human and we do make mistakes. But if you learn from your mistakes and grow from them and truly try to do better, then all was not lost. Sadly 20/20 vision works only for our past, not our present or future in how we should have or will have handled certain things in our lives. But if you truly want to make yourself a better person....only you have that ability. If others don't see that you have tried to make amends....then it is that person who needs to start working on their 'stuff'.
Today is the "Day of Atonement" for the Jews. This is the holiest day of the year because it gives everyone a clean slate. Gommy thinks it is a good idea for all of us to implement. Atonement means that there is a chance to start all over again. But doing it right this time....but you must truly be sorry (atone) for your mistakes or sins..... BUT....with the knowledge that you cannot just do things the same old way or the deal is off. If you have hurt someone....you atone (feel sorry) for the way you acted. If you sinned.....you atone for that behavior....etc., etc.
So Gommy says......if you truly want a peaceful life, you will not succumb to any sort of drama i.e. suffering, quarreling, violence, grudges or any unkind behavior. You will realize that there are ALWAYS three sides to every story before you take sides (which is never a good idea either).......the two people involved and then the TRUTH. If you can be honest with yourself......really honest......you will start with your own behavior and work out from there. There is no reward in not facing our own faults and frailties. So man-up or lady-up and put on your big girl or boy panties and deal with whatever it is that is haunting you. Don't blame someone else for bringing it up. If it isn't anywhere near the truth.....it won't bother you.
If you feel someone can't get over something from the past and it causes drama in your life.....just stay away from that person. There is no plus in trying to foster a relationship with someone who dislikes you. There is no place for phoniness to ever make a relationship work. It will only cause you more frustration and sadness and no one wants that in their life. Put out what you want to come back in your life and if you know in your heart that you have grown as a person and have tried to make amends....you will be at peace. We must all deal with the Karma that we put out there....Gommy is truly trying to atone for any unkind or mean things from my past and it is very freeing......so try it......it REALLY feels good to expunge toxic feelings from your life. It takes 'moral reckoning' to a new level!!!!
There was a time that Gommy held grudges and just couldn't find it in her heart to forgive someone for things. But in reality it was only making Gommy sick.....the person you are mad at is going along their merry way and the 'grudge-holder' (just made that up) is the miserable one.....So atone, atone, atone.....it really does make you feel GREAT!!! If God can forgive you.......well, that is all that really matters now doesn't it? Now, be happy all you boys and girls out there.....Gommy is going to get ready to go to lunch with a very dear friend today and I intend to enjoy and be grateful for this day that was given to her as a gift and atone for any mis-steps I may have taken along my life's path!!! ((*.*))
We as humans, have the habit of remembering how we want to remember things, instead of how they really were. Mostly because we bring our own emotional baggage into the equation. For instance, if someone says something about you and it is so very far from the truth......it will never bother you. If, on the other hand, it is a flaw that you recognize in yourself.....it will bug you to pieces. I guess that is where the phrase, "The truth hurts" comes from. And when someone tells you they have forgotten something that happened in the past, but they are obviously hanging onto it for dear life....that is usually because you have come too close to a trait that the person dislikes about themselves or has tried to overcome and is insulted that you 'went there' and they feel uncomfortable about reliving it....Or someone may call you a 'fake' and if you know you are not a 'fake' it will not bother you. But if you know deep down that you are a fake and someone is getting close to uncovering that truth about you.....it hurts your feelings. If we dig deep enough and are truthful enough with ourselves....the truth usually comes out.
My daughter taught me something she learned in college while she was studying psychology.....the teacher said if someone said you have green hair....how would you feel? It wouldn't bother you, would it? Because you KNOW you don't have green hair. If someone says you gave your child up (even though it was the right thing to do at the time) you would have that pang in your gut because you 'feel' you should have kept the child with you no matter what. But don't blame the person who DID take care of the child because you feel guilty. Instead be happy the child was taken care of by someone who obviously loved them very much, while you had to do your own thing at the time.....It is easy to 'blame' others for making you feel a certain way.....but the reality is that you are in charge of how you process what other people say to you in a hurtful way. If it really, really, really bothers you...there is probably some shred of the truth in what they said. If you say you have forgotten it and put it behind you.....but keep it alive and nurture it with hateful thoughts.....it is still there, isn't it? And if you spout off hurtful things back at the person.....are you really any different than what you were so upset with the person for in the first place?
The reason Gommy is talking about all this is that I have had to work on myself quite a bit over my many years. I have made mistakes over the years and there have been times of wishing things didn't happen a certain way. But we are human and we do make mistakes. But if you learn from your mistakes and grow from them and truly try to do better, then all was not lost. Sadly 20/20 vision works only for our past, not our present or future in how we should have or will have handled certain things in our lives. But if you truly want to make yourself a better person....only you have that ability. If others don't see that you have tried to make amends....then it is that person who needs to start working on their 'stuff'.
Today is the "Day of Atonement" for the Jews. This is the holiest day of the year because it gives everyone a clean slate. Gommy thinks it is a good idea for all of us to implement. Atonement means that there is a chance to start all over again. But doing it right this time....but you must truly be sorry (atone) for your mistakes or sins..... BUT....with the knowledge that you cannot just do things the same old way or the deal is off. If you have hurt someone....you atone (feel sorry) for the way you acted. If you sinned.....you atone for that behavior....etc., etc.
So Gommy says......if you truly want a peaceful life, you will not succumb to any sort of drama i.e. suffering, quarreling, violence, grudges or any unkind behavior. You will realize that there are ALWAYS three sides to every story before you take sides (which is never a good idea either).......the two people involved and then the TRUTH. If you can be honest with yourself......really honest......you will start with your own behavior and work out from there. There is no reward in not facing our own faults and frailties. So man-up or lady-up and put on your big girl or boy panties and deal with whatever it is that is haunting you. Don't blame someone else for bringing it up. If it isn't anywhere near the truth.....it won't bother you.
If you feel someone can't get over something from the past and it causes drama in your life.....just stay away from that person. There is no plus in trying to foster a relationship with someone who dislikes you. There is no place for phoniness to ever make a relationship work. It will only cause you more frustration and sadness and no one wants that in their life. Put out what you want to come back in your life and if you know in your heart that you have grown as a person and have tried to make amends....you will be at peace. We must all deal with the Karma that we put out there....Gommy is truly trying to atone for any unkind or mean things from my past and it is very freeing......so try it......it REALLY feels good to expunge toxic feelings from your life. It takes 'moral reckoning' to a new level!!!!
There was a time that Gommy held grudges and just couldn't find it in her heart to forgive someone for things. But in reality it was only making Gommy sick.....the person you are mad at is going along their merry way and the 'grudge-holder' (just made that up) is the miserable one.....So atone, atone, atone.....it really does make you feel GREAT!!! If God can forgive you.......well, that is all that really matters now doesn't it? Now, be happy all you boys and girls out there.....Gommy is going to get ready to go to lunch with a very dear friend today and I intend to enjoy and be grateful for this day that was given to her as a gift and atone for any mis-steps I may have taken along my life's path!!! ((*.*))
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